


A Soul to Mend His Own

by Crystallclover



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A character shamelessly based on Zelda Spellman, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Disturbing Themes, Do not write something inspired by this fic, Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Execution, F/M, Fan art is acceptable, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inspired by 1984 - George Orwell, Interrogation, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Multi, Not a Ben Solo fic, Physical Abuse, Possessive Kylo Ren, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Verbal Abuse, do not repost without permission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 80
Words: 170,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22850785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystallclover/pseuds/Crystallclover
Summary: *CURRENTLY UNDER GRAMMAR AND EDITING REVISION, NO PLOT WILL CHANGE*A Kylo Ren x Modern reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence.He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn't in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?Also, who is the First Order, and what are their true goals. Why do you feel like you are stuck in some sort of dystopian novel?Please heed all warnings in the tags I put them in there for a reason.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Original Characters/Original Characters
Comments: 497
Kudos: 748





	1. Before it All Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work published here. I will be updating tags as I go along. Please leave feedback, as it will improve my writing.

You lived a relatively normal, albeit boring life. You had gone to a small state university after graduating high school. Majoring in marketing and getting good, but not spectacular grades. You took an average internship in your state capital’s major city, at a small marketing firm. A year later, you had immigrated to Toronto to work at a brand as a part of their marketing team. You lived alone and only had two real friends in the city. You didn’t mind it much as it was far away from the small hometown you grew up in. City life was a change of pace, but you didn’t mind. Your apartment was a relatively small, but modern studio apartment. Big enough for your bed, a couch, a small table with chairs, a nice-sized kitchen, with a nice-sized bathroom along with large bright windows. 

You were a minimalist, and you preferred it that way. Everything you needed to start up again in a new city could be packed in a large duffle bag, a good-sized backpack and your large work tote bag. Pots, pans, and other kitchen things could be packet all into 2 boxes. 

Your life was perhaps boring, you grocery shopped once a week, ate a relatively healthy diet, drank a bottle a wine a week. You worked out every evening in your building’s gym, nothing too extreme but enough to make you feel accomplished every time. You went to work Monday through Friday, occasionally went out with co-workers for drinks at a small local bar, but were only really close to a younger co-worker from HR. 

Back home, you had two loving parents and 3 siblings; you being the youngest of 4, who all were married and had kids of their own, they live scattered throughout your home state. There is an age gap, so currently you weren’t concerned with being single. You called home once a week every Thursday, even though nothing really changed in your life since your parents were retired and living relatively full lives. Doing this and that, occasionally traveling to new places, but mostly visiting your siblings. The calls on your end never really changed, they always had something new about one of your siblings’ accomplishments, or something new about a niece or a nephew. 

Carter, your friend from HR, was about your age. You would hang out most Friday nights with them and your mutual friend Hayden. The friendships weren’t really that deep, just three people of the same age hanging out because they have no one else in the city. Really, you all had yet to meet your half. Hayden had no name on his wrist. One of the 1 billion people on this planet to be born without it. It never seemed to bother him. He always talked about it being a sort of freedom, to not be chained to anyone, to have a choice in his life. 

Carter was a romantic, the name on their wrist was in Arabic, Noor Abdallah was the translation a name that has over 300 hits in the database, but currently no match with Carter, which wasn’t unusual. In the U.S. and Canada, everyone on their 18th birthday must go to a local government center to register their soul mate names. Other countries had other ages, and some had no mandates. With the name being in Arabic, there was no guarantee that they would ever enter the database. Currently, the name was still in black on Carter’s wrist, so they were alive. 

You had two names on your wrist, which was uncommon but not unheard of, especially because the second name covered the first. You were born with the name Ben Solo on your wrist. Sometimes while you were in late elementary school the name faded, but didn’t have a strike through it, so he was still alive. The name that covered it was **Kylo Ren** , which was still black. The name was nowhere to be found in the database which worried you. With your name combination, you knew Ben and Kylo were the same person. Often this combo was used for those who change their identities. 

While soul mates existed, it was becoming a much more common and accepted practice in the U.S. and Canada for people to have platonic soul mates, ones whom the soulmates would forever be friends with but not marry. Especially with the large population of matchless people. Carter was a romantic and knew they would marry their soul mate. You, on the other hand, were worried about your match. That **Kylo Ren** would only want a platonic relationship with someone so boring.

You had never so much as meaningfully kissed anyone, but Carter had a short-serious relationship back in college. Hayden wasn’t worried about anything and was often hooking up left and right. Out of the group you were the one with the most to lose. You had never thought about really dating anyone else and even thinking about it now you don’t know if you could betray **Kylo/Ben** like that. Of course, you had a few college flings, but that wasn’t anything important. Just the need to get off while surrounded by your hormonal peers.

Currently, it was Wednesday night, and you were scrolling through Twitter while watching a movie on your laptop. A seemingly normal weeknight that left you lonely for company, nights like this you would have a glass of wine and absentmindedly run your finger over the name on your wrist hoping that **Kylo** was out there sensing your loneliness. 

It was getting late, and you got ready for bed, washed your face, brushed your hair and teeth, and crawled into bed at 10:30 PM. You put your phone on the charger and tried to drift off into sleep. 

_11 :00 PM A shuttle from somewhere in the atmosphere had landed near Washington D.C._

_The news broke and sent twitter and the rest of the world into a frenzy, all while a large portion of the western hemisphere was asleep. _


	2. An Arrival to be Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UFO has been sited entering the Earth’s atmosphere  
> Unknown armed and masked beings exit ship heading towards the White House. Is the President in danger?  
> Aliens spotted in D.C.
> 
> A certain someone arrives on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter went over well! I hope you all like this. I should be able to do daily uploads. Fingers crossed.

_UFO has been sited entering the Earth’s atmosphere_

_Unknown armed and masked being exit ship heading towards the White House. Is the President in danger?_

_Aliens spotted in D.C._

You woke up to the sound of your alarm and got out of bed. You have been in the habit lately to start your day without checking your phone first. Mostly to avoid early morning emails from your boss before you have even had coffee. 

You head to the bathroom to relieve yourself, wash your face, and brush your hair. Exiting the bathroom, you head to the kitchen and make yourself some breakfast and coffee. You enjoy the sunrise through the large windows in your apartment. Finishing eating, you immediately wash your few dishes and get ready for work. You pick out your work ‘uniform’ of a black blouse and black trousers. You head to the bathroom to brush your teeth, put on a little makeup, and get changed. 

Heading back to the kitchen, you prepare a to-go cup of coffee and pull out your lunch for work. Finally, you check your phone. 

First, you see an email from your boss reminding you for the 10th time about the morning meeting that you have every Thursday. It isn’t like you to forget something you do every single week for the past year. Never once have you been late. In fact, he was always the one to forget. You wonder if these emails were meant more for him and less for you. But he was always the micromanager. 

Next, you check your texts. Your usual morning photo from one of your siblings about one of your nieces/nephews. Another one from Hayden asking if you were still on for tomorrow night’s weekly bar trip. You answered ‘Yes  😀.’ Another from Carter asking what you think of the news headlines this morning. Odd, although this isn’t the first time you two had discussed something like this it was odd to receive a text like this from them first thing in the morning. 

You open Twitter to see #alieninvasiondc trending. You scroll through the news tag. Every major news site around the world is talking about the shuttlecraft that landed on the White House lawn last night, and the armed and armored soldiers that departed from the craft. All of the soldiers wore white armor, except one in silver. There was one who was in all black and a red-haired human-looking man among the group. Not much is known other than they haven’t been seen leaving the White House. 

You text Carter back ‘Just looked now, either this is a hoax or the world as we know it is coming to an end. I’ll see you at work.’

You packed your work bag, grabbed your car keys, and set off to work. You park in the ramp attached to your building and walk to the elevator. You wave at the security attendant to the opposing skywalk like you do every morning. You arrive at your floor and buzz-in. You say hi to Nancy in reception and head to your desk.

Strangely all of the televisions in the office were muted and tuned into CBC News, normally the one in the break room and the ones in reception were on, the others only really got used during Hockey Games or events like the Olympics. Your boss was in the walkway with his attention turned to his phone. 

You set down your things at your desk and boot up your work computer while setting up your laptop on its stand. You did your usual check through work emails until the 9:00 AM weekly meeting. Your boss hasn’t moved from his position in the walkway. 

8:55 AM hits and you grab what you need and head to the conference room. The tv was on in here as well. The others in the Marketing department filled in after you. Your boss, Scott, had yet to move from his place in the walkway. 9:00 AM hits and you continue small talk with your coworkers, most of the conversation is directed at the events in D.C.

9:05 AM your co-worker Ally sends a Slack message to your boss. He looks up from his phone to the clock on the wall and runs into his office. After a few minutes, he rushes out and into the conference room.

“Sorry, I am late everyone the wife is just paranoid over this Alien Invasion thing. I can’t get her to stop texting me,” he chuckles. 

Ironically, this isn’t the first time he has been ‘late’ to a meeting after being on the phone with his wife an hour after work already started. 

Suddenly you all get an Emergency Alert System notification on all of your phones.

**‘International Emergency: Please tune in to your local news broadcasting station to receive an Emergency Report.’**

Scott asks, “Where is the damn remote?” 

Ally hands it to him. He unmuted the tv.

The headline reads: ‘President of the United States has an Important International Government Update’

_Live from Washington D.C._

On the screen, it shows the President of the United States, with the silver soldier, one in all black and the red-haired man from the video of the invasion last night.

“I have an important announcement. Earth has been contacted by people from space who call themselves the First Order. The First Order has informed me that they would like to peacefully work with Earth. As long as we fully cooperate as an entire planet no harm will come to any of us. Currently, our galaxy is at war, and the First Order seeks our help, in return of offering Earth protection from a group of people called the New Republic.

They have explained to me and the U.N. as a whole that the New Republic is not to be trusted along with their mercenary army called the Resistance. It is through my decision and the decision of the U.N. that we will cooperate and join forces with the First Order to be under their protection.

All citizens of Earth in the next 7 days must register with the First Order. You will be given a citizen number, some citizens may be reassigned to work directly with the First Order. All military personal will be reassigned to be under the First Order. You should not worry as most citizens will be unaffected, life will go on as normal. As long as citizens follow these orders and any orders to come, we shall be safe,” said the President. The President moved out of the way for the man in all black and with a black mask to move to the podium.

“I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I promise no harm will come to those who cooperate with us. We seek to peacefully transition your planet, as you know it Earth, to a primary First Order Planet. We value honesty and loyalty, along with hard work. We strive to rebuild the Empire and to maintain order in the galaxy. That is all,” The man’s voice was distorted through the mask he was wearing, it sounded mechanical or digital but it had a deep sound. 

The broadcast cut back to the news anchor. “Currently all citizens of earth are to report to their local city government building or town hall within the next 7 days for First Order registration and possible reassignment. All citizens must remain calm and do as the government has directed. Any questions or concerns will be answered by local government officials and First Order personnel. All foreign citizens to Canada will follow the same protocol as citizens. All citizens are asked to bring various forms of identification, such as a Passport, driver’s license, birth certificate, social insurance number card, any immunization forms, military I.D., and more. You can find a full list of required documents at the CBC website or at canada.ca. As a reminder, all citizens are urged to stay calm and to follow all orders regarding and following First Order registration. Citizens are also advised to stay tuned to local news sources for any updates.”

The conference room sat stunned at the announcement. 

“Well, we’re fucked,” said Scott. “We are all surely fucked. Who are these people to think they can just take over like that? Do they think we are just going to sit by and let them brainwash us? Let them take everything from us?”

“I don’t think we have a choice, you heard the U.S. President, the U.N. is in agreement. This is for our own safety. If you are going to go against them and get yourself killed keep us out of it,” said Daniel one of your marketing coworkers. 

“I’ll talk to Henry, and see if we can all take the week off, who knows this may be the last time we even get to see our families,” and with that statement, Scott left the conference room. 

You sat there not really moving, processing what you just witnessed on the tv and the confrontation between Scott and Daniel. So did the rest of your coworkers. You could tell they were all in shock, the world as you knew it was about to change, the future had shifted. 

All of your phones went off again. This time it was an email from Jonathan, the CEO.

‘All employees will take today, tomorrow and next week off, in order to give proper attention to the government mandate. Please be safe and I hope to see you all come -Henry G. Wells’

Everyone in the conference room got up and went to their desks. The office was silent, except for the sounds of items being put away and people gathering their things. You were almost done getting ready to go when Carter appeared next to you. 

They didn’t speak, for fear of being the first one to break the ominous silence. Carter just looked at you expectantly. You finished packing up and walked with them out of the office. The elevator was packed but silent. Everyone got off and walked to their cars. Carter followed you to yours. 

Keeping their voice down, almost to a whisper, they asked, “I know I texted you this morning about all this but what do you think now? Do you want to go back to your place or mine?” 

You thought about it for a moment before responding, “Let’s go back to mine. We can discuss it from there.”

Carter accepted your response and went to their car to leave. You followed suit. Today was not what you expected. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will anyone get the hint?


	3. Of Speculation and Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In fifteen minutes we will hear from the Prime Minister with more information about the First Order and what we as citizens are expected to do. Please stay tuned to CBC News for updates.” And “Tonight at 7 PM Eastern Standard Time First Order Supreme Leader Ren will address the public for the second time.”

You arrive home and park in your building’s ramp. You see Carter pulling into the guest parking zone. You wait for them.

“Want to order something for lunch,” asked Carter.

“Sure, does curry sound alright,” you asked. Carter nodded, and you both headed into your building. 

You both took the stairs up to your floor and you unlocked your door. Both of you took off your shoes, and you pulled out your phone to do your usual curry order. 

“So this thing with the First Order. What do you think? How many people are out there,” Asked Carter. 

“I don’t know what to think. This all feels like some weird Sci-Fi movie. Why is this the first time we have been contacted by some sort of ‘alien’ race? This is just weird,” you responded. You pulled out your laptop and set it up on your small kitchen table. You set up a live feed to the CBC News broadcast and plugged your laptop in. 

“What if they are really peaceful and don’t mean any harm? You heard that man, the Supreme Leader I think that’s what he’s called, as long as we follow orders we should be fine,” responded Carter. 

Suddenly you both get a text in your group chat from Hayden asking, ‘What’s up with this alien invasion thing  👽? Spooky  👻’

“Should we invite him over,” asked Carter. 

“Yeah, let’s see if I can add to the lunch order,” you responded while Carter texted Hayden back. 

“Damn it, it won’t let me. Let me check if I have any salad or anything to go with it,” you told Carter. 

“Why don’t I text Hayden that if he plans on coming over now he needs to bring something,” asked Carter. 

You nodded with approval. Although Carter texted Hayden separately, he is always the type to respond in the group chat. ‘Coolio, I’ll pick up some drinks and chips and hummus  😂’

“Why he does that I’ll never understand,” you stated. Carter nodded in agreement. 

The live stream on your laptop flashed so you unmuted it. 

_Live from Ottawa_

“In fifteen minutes we will hear from the Prime Minister with more information about the First Order and what we as citizens are expected to do. Please stay tuned to CBC News for updates,” said the blond anchorwoman. You turned down the volume on your laptop to a background noise level. 

“Dang. Hopefully, he has more information as to who they are. I have been checking the government website all day, and no one really has anything. Their Supreme Leader is a total mystery,” said Carter. 

You both then went to minding your phones. You scrolled through twitter. Everyone was talking about #alieninvasiondc and #firstorder. No one had any real news, just speculation from what you could see. Ironically, the #raidarea51 tag was trending again, talking about how this is what the U.S. government was hiding.

There was a knock on your door. You went to open it. The delivery person was there with your food. You paid him, and he went on his way. Almost immediately after you shut the door, there was another knock. Hayden this time with the drinks and chips and hummus. 

He walks in without taking off his shoes and said, “aliens man who would have thunk.” 

“Take off your damn shoes I don’t know how time I have to tell you,” you scolded Hayden who made his way back to the door.

“Ok jeez, it’s not like your apartment is huge. It won’t take long to clean it,” Hayden responded. 

Carter just rolled their eyes at the two of you. Hayden was the more relaxed and slobby of the three of you. You were more type A, where everything had a place and you like things just so. He was definitely the extrovert of the group, someone who could have a 3-hour long conversation with a bartender about their life. Meanwhile, you were more of an introvert. Carter was the perfect balance for you two. Ever the optimist, but an ambivert none the less.

Hayden loved conspiracy theories. He was always talking about a new one here or there. He was the least adult out of the three of you. You had your habits and the way you liked things. Being a minimalist, you liked the things you liked the way you liked them. You needed to be efficient and precise in order to survive your home and work life. 

“My apartment may be small, but if it bothers you why is it that we always end up here, hmm?” You responded sarcastically.

Hayden just shrugged and went about preparing himself a plate of curry, rice hummus, and chips while grabbing a cider from the six-pack he brought. 

“I don’t know if you heard but the Prime Minister will be speaking in a few minutes, hopefully with more information on this First Order stuff,” said Carter trying to distract you two from your usual petty disagreements. 

Carter was the glue to your friendship. The rock to keep you three together. Despite Hayden’s extroversion, there were still some prejudices against the unmatched. He could easily find someone to go home with after a night at the bars but had a hard time making lasting friendships until he found Carter. 

“Cool, love seeing my man Trudeau,” said Hayden. 

Just now your laptop screen flashed with the news report. You turned up the volume. 

_Live from Ottawa_

The Prime Minister started to speak, “as you all know yesterday there was a visit to Earth by a then-unknown group who we now know to be the First Order. Earlier this morning, the U.S. President spoke to everyone on behalf of the United Nations. I myself and many others are in agreement that the First Order have come here in peace. I ask everyone in Canada to act peacefully and follow all instructions that you may receive from the government or the First Order. 

You will be able to register at all public government offices like the housing department, the post office, the motor vehicle registration office, the social insurance number office, the immigration office, and more. In the upper parts of provinces and in major cities there will be temporary registration stations. Please check the government website [canada.ca](http://canada.ca/) to find any more places to register.

We ask that all citizens of Earth remain calm and proceed to be registered. Earlier the President said that citizens may be reassigned to duties within the First Order. This will only happen with your consent and only to positions, the First Order may need. You also may have the choice to temporarily be reassigned to help with registration. 

The First Order will also be removing all standard currency and will be shifting all current wealth into the galaxy’s credit system or galactic credit. No citizen will lose any portion of their wealth and all physical currency will be able to be exchanged at any bank, credit union, or any government office and all digital currency or any currency currently kept at a bank or credit union will be converted automatically. This will happen 3 days after the trade deadline. By the end of the month, Earth will join the galactic trade economy and will be able to set up trade with any planet within the First Order rule. 

Tonight at 7 PM Eastern Standard Time First Order Supreme Leader Ren will address the public for the second time. It is important that all citizens tune into the news and all employers are mandated to allow all employees the opportunity to watch or listen to Supreme Leader Ren’s speech. Thank you.”

All three of you sat stunned, looking at the laptop. Carter was the first to speak.

“Is he human, Supreme Leader Ren I mean? You saw that helmet thing, I wonder what’s under there,” asked Carter.

“I don’t know maybe he’s got like a tentacle face like Davy Jones did from that Pirates of the Caribbean movie. What do you think,” asked Hayden.

“You both say the videos of last night’s landing, right? There was a ginger man with them. Maybe they are human, but there is probably some sort of mix within their ranks. You’ve both seen Star Trek and other Sci-Fi movies. There is a possibility all of the First Order with helmets are some other species. Maybe they brought that ginger man to calm us all down so we don’t have an alien vs predator thing,” you said. 

Both Carter and Hayden seemed to nod in agreement. For a little while, you all went about eating your food. 

“Hey, this might be one of my crazy theories but what if your guys’ matches are some weird alien species,” said Hayden. “Like think how cool that would be!”

“I will love whoever or whatever they are. The universe thought it was important enough to put their name on my wrist so that is all I care about,” said Carter continuing to eat. 

You just simply looked down at the names on your wrist. You secretly hoped that **Kylo/Ben** wasn’t going to be disgusted at you being human. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my Tumblr @bexterbex for behind the scenes info and any possible story direction decisions. Also, I will be having supplemental readings in other works, soon. Things you won't need for an understanding of the story, but additional fictional First Order things.


	4. When the Machine Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ALL REMAINING SYSTEMS WILL REMEMBER THIS, AS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW EMPIRE!!!” Cannon fire was heard in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, if it hasn't been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

"What do you think,” asked Carter.

You thought for a moment and answered, “I don’t know, this is all so much to take in. When are you guys thinking about registering? I don’t want to go alone, there will be too many people.”

“I was thinking about going tomorrow morning. The registration office closest to me doesn’t open until 9 AM, but I want to guarantee that a line will start 6,” said Carter. 

“I guess I really hadn’t thought that far, to be honest. Too caught up in the alien thing,” said Hayden, “Why don’t we plan on going together?” 

“I think that would great, but Y/N do you need to go to a special registration center? As an American,” asked Carter.

“Let me check online,” you said while pulling up the government website on your phone. “It says it I should be fine if I go to the motor vehicle registration office, the social insurance number office, or the immigration office. I need my passport, social security card, immunization forms, birth certificate, driver’s license, and work visa. It also says that I will be in a separate line and that my registration will take up to 1 hour to complete.” 

“Sweet, I know you aren’t a fan of getting up early Hayden but what if we all go to the MVR office tomorrow at like 5:45 AM and just get it done together? We have no idea how long the lines will be or really how long it will take,” asked Carter.

“Fine, but like we need to get brunch afterward or I will riot in the streets. You guys don’t have to work tomorrow right,” asked Hayden. “Tony gave me the next few days off.”

“No, Henry gave us all time off. I’m pretty sure Scott and his wife will go awol. Like you should have seen him this morning. He was on his phone in the walkway for the first hour, late to our meeting. Ally had to message him asking if he was coming. He then walked finally went into his office and got ready. He blamed it on his wife being paranoid,” you said. 

“Yeah but that is such a Scott thing to do, I am surprised Talia hasn’t evaluated him yet that man is a walking HR nightmare,” said Carter.

“That isn’t even the worst of it. Immediately after the announcement, he kind of flipped out. Talking about how the First Order will brainwash us and how we shouldn’t stand for it. Like I’m pretty sure he was going to blow a gasket. Daniel told him off and then he went to talk to Henry but not until saying that this may be the last time we will probably see our families, then Henry gave us the week off basically,” you ranted. “I honestly hate the man he’s late to everything, even deadlines, he also can’t organize his office even if his life depended on it. Plus, he’s always on his phone with his wife. Just all around unprofessional.” 

“Damn go off, I would hate to hear what you would have go say about me if I worked with you,” stated Hayden.

“Well, I’m glad we are just friends and not coworkers. Brunch sounds like a good idea to me, especially if we can start day drinking because guaranteed my registration is going to be more stressful than both of yours and I’ll probably need something to take the edge off. And if Scott is right about this being the last bits of freedom before the First Order starts brainwashing us or ‘probing’ us, then I’d like it to be fun,” you ranted. 

“Probing, damn, I wish I thought of that earlier. You know we should start watching some really cheesy Sci-FI movies before the ‘Supreme Leader’ announcement,” suggested Hayden.

Both you and Carter agreed and you set up your phone to keep steaming CBC News and you set up “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” on your laptop.

After your third movie, you all just decide to pull up the news to avoid missing the announcement. The seemingly perfect white brunette anchorman and similarly perfect blonde anchorwoman were explaining once again where to register while also talking about the average wait time to register. You always found their perfect hair, teeth, and skin; they were just too perfect. 

_Live from Washington D.C._

The camera focused in on the Supreme Leader, “People of Earth, the First Order has so far been impressed by the cooperation we have received from you. As it was mentioned before, if you remain calm and follow all orders directed towards you, you will be able to live a long and prosperous life here. 

Your respective nation’s leader should have informed you of more updates such as where to receive registration and changes to your planet’s economy. The First Order and my self Supreme Leader Ren have a few more directives for you. 

First, as mentioned to you many times today, everyone on your planet must register with the First Order as citizens. Anyone refusing to do so will be dealt with justly. Second, all citizens upon registration will receive an education on the First Orders and the beliefs of the new empire. Any citizen who has an issue with this education should direct their comments and concerns to any Stormtrooper or First Order officer at their local registration station. 

Finally, anyone found in favor of the New Republic or the Resistance will be dealt with immediately. The First Order would like to make this transition for Earth as smooth and as peaceful as possible. Any found being a traitor to the First Order may find themselves at a public execution!

My Allegiant General Hux has a few words for you.” He stepped to the side to reveal the ginger human-looking man. 

“Today is the is the beginning of the new empire! And the end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder! At this very moment, in a system far from here, the New Republic lies to the galaxy, while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance,” The red hair man almost seemed to be foaming at the mouth while he was giving his speech. “Our alliance is a fierce machine that we will build, upon which we will stand, will bring an end to the Senate, and to their cherished fleet! ALL REMAINING SYSTEMS WILL REMEMBER THIS, AS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW EMPIRE!!!”* Cannon fire was heard in the distance and the camera came to a wide shot of the podium’s stage. 

On the stage, you could see the U.S. President, Supreme Leader Ren, Allegiant General Hux, and the silver armored soldier. Behind the stage, you could see the white house lawn filled with the white armored soldiers standing at attention. In the distance you could see there was now a banner over the white house, it was large and read with a hexagon with a star-like black symbol. You assumed this to be the flag of the First Order. 

The camera cuts back to the news anchors who were now conspicuously wearing pins with the same symbol that was on the banner. “I like the sound of that, don’t you Karen,” asked the male news anchor.

“I sure do, Jim. A new galactic economy and protection from a powerful new ally to protect us from the treacherous Resistance. I don’t think we could have asked for a better ‘alien’ invasion, do you, Jim,” responded Karen.

“Now it’s almost as if fate was on our side, or should I say the Force. For everybody at home, both Karen and I have been registered and have started our First Order education. That’s where we got these cool new pins that you will be required to wear once you’ve been registered unless directed to do otherwise,” stated Jim. 

“Yes, it is important that all citizens register as soon as possible, and all citizens are asked to cooperate with the First Order. You all heard our new Supreme Leader Ren, they would like us to be peaceful and anyone found in contempt of the First Order may be subject to public execution,” stated Karen. “And I’m sure all of you remember 8th-grade world history when we learned about what happened to Marie Antoinette, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” She and Jim chuckled at her off-color joke. 

“I’m sure no one wants that so if we all stay calm no one should lose their head. There will be nightly updates every night at 7 PM Eastern Standard Time from the First Order. We have been informed that it will be various officers as our new Supreme Leader is very busy,” stated Jim.

“I’m sure he is, and what a wonderful Supreme Leader we have. Dedicated to our safety and the safety of the galaxy. I can’t wait to learn more about him from my First Order education. Now stay tuned to the weather,” said Karen. 

You muted your laptop once again. You, Carter and Hayden all sat in shock after what you just watched. 

Carter was the first to speak, “well at least be getting the registration and education over and done with as soon as possible. That General Hux guy seemed pretty intense.”

“Your boss might be right Y/N we may just all be brainwashed soon. Why do I have a feeling like the First Order may be something out of a George Orwell’s novel,” said Hayden.

“Just promise us you won’t do anything stupid Hayden, we will all have enough to worry about. Tomorrow at the registration office you might want to keep your conspiracy theories to yourself. I don’t know how much the First Order will like them,” you responded.

Carter seemed to be in agreement with you, “Why don’t we all just call it a night? We can meet in the parking lot of the MVR office at 5:45 AM and I’ll bring coffee for all of us.”

You and Hayden nodded in agreement. Both of them packed up their things and left. You cleaned up the kitchen and plates. Shut your laptop before preparing for bed.

You grabbed your pajamas and went into the bathroom and took a shower, hoping it would relax you. Getting you changed into your clothes, brushed your hair and teeth. 

You shut off the lights to your apartment and walked over to your bed. You plugged in your phone and set an alarm before crawling into bed and drifting off into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Taken and edited lines from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.


	5. In Anticipation of Registration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of white armored soldiers, or as you know them now as stormtroopers, exited the vehicle. Everyone outside the building moved away from the entrance. A small group of people whom you assumed to be people who worked with the MVR office, who you could now see wearing the pins, moved towards the entrance. The stormtroopers guarded the entrance and unlock the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

You woke up to your alarm at 4:30 AM. You were reluctant to roll out of bed, but you knew it was for the greater cause. You got up and started your morning routine like normal.

You then checked your phone to see messages from your group chat. Carter was kind enough to send a ‘wake up Hayden’ message, to which you could see that he had yet to read. Carter then texted you separately saying that they were going to call Hayden in 10 minutes if he didn’t respond. 

You then decided to scroll through twitter, which seemed different this morning. Everything seemed to be devoid of anything other than the First Order. The hashtag #FirstOrder was trending along with #SupremeLeaderRen. The only thing on the trending page seemed to be all official pages talking about the First Order positively. You thought this was strange but had more pressing matters on your mind.

You then ate breakfast and had your coffee, knowing that you will most likely be drinking at brunch and with the unknown amount of time that the registration will take. Your phone pinged with a new message. ‘Sorry you guys I overslept but I’ll be there on time, thanks, Carter!’ Texted Hayden from the group chat. You looked over at your alarm clock and saw the time was 5:20 and you decided to head out. 

You grabbed your coat and all the paperwork you needed for registration. You headed out the door to the MVR office. 

The drive was short, but you noticed a difference in the appearance of the building immediately. There were more red banners at the entrance and sides of the building. There were also large signs saying what paperwork was needed and several large recruitment posters, visible from your spot in the parking lot.

You got out of your car and headed towards the entrance of the building. It was only 5:35 AM, but you wanted to be early, even earlier than your agreed meeting time, just in case, a large line started to form. A few people were milling around. They all probably had the same idea as you. 

You were only in front of the building for a few minutes before you noticed Carter’s car pull into the parking lot. You waited for them to park and get out of their car before you waved them over. 

“Here is the coffee I promised,” said Carter. “Huh, they really did work overnight to refurbish everything in First Order style.”

“Thanks, I know. Twitter this morning is literally nothing but First Order stuff. I don’t know if you saw,” you replied. “I’m assuming Hayden will get here just in time.”

You and Carter just embrace the sweet caffeine from your coffees. And just in the nick of time, Hayden pulls into the parking lot on his motorbike. He pulls up into a motorbike parking spot near the entrance. 

“Just made it. But really this is probably the first time I’ve ever been early,” said Hayden reaching the both of you and taking his coffee from Carter’s hand. 

Not long after Hayden’s arrival, a strange shuttle pulled up into the parking lot. A bunch of white armored soldiers, or as you know them now as stormtroopers, exited the vehicle. Everyone outside the building moved away from the entrance. A small group of people whom you assumed to be people who worked with the MVR office, who you could now see wearing the pins, moved towards the entrance. The stormtroopers guarded the entrance and unlock the building. You also see several human-looking people whom you assume to be officers following close behind them. Two stormtroopers guard on either side of the doors with another pair directly in front of the doors. One wears a red guard over his shoulder. He steps forward.

His modulated voice says, “Registration will begin promptly at 0600 hours, all Canadian citizens are to line up to the left of the doors and all foreign citizens to the right. All paperwork must be ready for evaluation. Anyone without paperwork or disobeying orders will be escorted to isolation. This is your warning.” He steps back to guard the doors. 

You look at Carter and Hayden who both give you an ‘I’m sorry look.’ They moved quickly to as far to the front of the forming line as they could. You were one of three people in your line. 

Carter texted in your group chat, ‘We are still here with you  ❤️.’ Hayden sent, ‘ 🤗😅.’ Somehow that comforted you. 

There was soft chatter all around. You could tell that everyone was nervous about registration. No one really knew what it all entailed. Most people seem to be keeping to themselves or the people they came with. The Canadian citizen line began to get much longer with more people arriving to be registered. 

You all hear a loud alarm like sound. The stormtrooper with the red guard on his shoulder spoke again, “You may now enter, stay in line. All Canadian citizens are to line up to the left of the doors and all foreign citizens to the right. All paperwork must be ready for evaluation. Anyone without paperwork or disobeying orders will be escorted to isolation. This is your warning. We will be watching.” He and his fellow stormtrooper stepped to the side of the doors. They opened, revealing a long hall-like room with velvet ropes dividing the room. 

You enter behind the first two foreign citizens. At the end of your side of the hall is a table to which you three approach. The Canadian citizen side of the room had a long counter taking up the sidewall. They had many cubbies and people to handle their registration. You three had the table. 

You watched as the officer behind the table speaks to the person in front of you. “Papers?” The man to the front of your line handed them to the officers. “Follow me.” They then walked off down a side hallway to a room that you could not see. 

Neither you nor the woman directly in front of you felt comfortable to speak. The officer came back. “Papers?” The woman handed them over. “Follow me.” And she followed him as well. 

Now you were alone. You could see Hayden and Carter now at the counter, each of them at their own booth speaking to the workers behind the desk.

The officer was back. “Papers?” You handed them over. “Follow me.” You glanced over your shoulder to Carter and Hayden before following the officer down the hallway. You were taken to a room. In the room, there was a table, and two chairs, one on either side of the table. “Another officer will be with you shortly,” and with that, the officer left. You felt as if you stepped into an interrogation room. 


	6. Registration or Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Show me your wrist,” the officer now demanded. You showed her your wrist. The officer immediately got up and exited the room almost frantically.
> 
> Almost immediately she came back with an older grey-haired officer. He demanded, “show me the name that is on your wrist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.
> 
> Also, this chapter includes interrogation themes if this is uncomfortable for you, please just exit the story.

It wasn’t long before an officer joined you; she had your papers in her hand along with a folder. “My name is Chief Petty Officer Unman. I will be completing your evaluation and registration. Do you know why you are here?”

“To become a registered citizen with the First Order,” you responded unsure of her on if her question encompassed being here at the MVR office or this room specifically.

“Correct. I will now begin to ask you a series of questions about yourself. You will answer truthfully. Do you understand,” asked the officer. 

“Yes,” you responded nervously.

She said your name. “This is your full name, correct,” asked the officer looking at your file. 

“Yes,” you responded. 

She said your birthdate, “This is your birth date, correct,” now writing something down.

“Yes,” with these questions only making you more nervous. 

“You are a United States Citizen who immigrated to Canada for work, correct?”

“Yes.”

She said your social security number, “This is your social security number or citizen identification number, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Why have you decided to come to Canada for work when you are a United States citizen?”

You weren’t ready for this question, “Um, I wanted a change of scenery. I grew up in a small town with the same people and I wanted to expand my horizons.”

Chief Petty Officer Unman just hummed in response. While seemingly writing down your answer in your file. Unman looked throughout your paperwork for a minute before saying anything. “How long do you believe that you will stay in Canada?”

“My visa expires in December of next year, my plan is to stay in Canada for at least six years,” this was another question you weren’t expecting. Why was this information that the First Order needed to know? 

“In the database, it currently lists you as matched without a partner being in the system, correct?” Unman continues to make notes and hasn’t looked directly at you in a while.

“Yes,” you say as you absentmindedly touched your wrist.

“What is the name on your wrist,” still Unman was too engrossed in note-taking. 

“I have two technically.”

“Go on,” she gestures with her hand while not looking up.

“The name I was born with is **Ben Solo**. That name is faded, and a new name is over top of it. That name is **Kylo Ren** ,” this fact always made you worry as some people judge you on the ‘replacement’ of the initial name, but it was what the galaxy chose. 

The Chief Petty Officer was now making direct eye contact, and it was making you a bit more uncomfortable than you already were. “Repeat the second name for me.”

“ **Kylo Ren**.” 

“Show me your wrist,” the officer now demanded. You showed her your wrist. The officer immediately got up and exited the room almost frantically.

Almost immediately she came back with an older grey-haired officer. He demanded, “show me the name that is on your wrist.”

You complied. You were worried that **Kylo** was someone who committed crimes against the First Order and that it automatically incriminated you too.

The older officer read the name out loud. He then looked at the Chief Petty Officer and told her to contact High Command. He also said he will wait here. As quickly as she arrived, Chief Petty Officer Unman disappeared from the doorway.

“Please sit down, I have a few questions for you,” said the older officer. “My name is Captain Moden Canady. My first question is, do you know who Kylo Ren is?”

You look at him for a moment in a puzzled expression. “If I knew who he was Captain, then he would be in the database.”

He seemed to almost approve of your answer. “Do you know why you have two names on your wrist?”

“I assume it is because **Ben Solo** and **Kylo Ren** are the same person. The name Ben Solo is faded and has not disappeared. **Kylo Ren** is also on top of where **Ben Solo** is. Here on Earth that usually means a person no longer goes by their previous name, and thus Kylo Ren is my match.” You wondered if matches worked differently throughout the galaxy.

“My suggestion to you is to never refer to **Ben Solo** again. He is dead.” The captain looked at you seriously. 

You didn’t argue, especially because at that moment you remembered the order that you have been given, to obey the First Order. You stayed silent.

“In any case, the Supreme Leader will be very pleased.” He said with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

You were now getting pretty worried. What did the Supreme Leader have to do with all this? What had your match done? A million other questions were floating in your head. 

Without warning, the door opened and Chief Petty Officer Unman began to speak, “High Command has just sent over a shuttle for her. You have been ordered to escort her to Base Command.”

“Excellent, If you will follow me.” Captain Moden Canady got up from the table and lead you out of the room and down the hall away from the main entrance to the side entrance to the building. You exited the building seeing a larger shuttle than the one the stormtroopers arrived in. You followed the captain, but you knew better than to question what was happening for fear of punishment. 

“It will be an honor to personally deliver you to the Supreme Leader ma’am,” said the captain. “In the meantime, here are a few pamphlets to get you familiar with the First Order. If you finish those, I can have a datapad pull up education videos.”

You just nodded and took the pamphlets. You were afraid of what was going to happen to you when you reach Base Command.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited to remove Y/N.


	7. The Beginning of an Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the back of the pamphlet, there was a quote from Allegiant General Hux, ‘Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is all of the propaganda described in the chapter. Please check it out as I spent a lot of time world-building for this work.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/22940926

You were handed three pamphlets. The first one was titled [“An Introduction to the First Order.”](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/611221859083714560/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-7b) There wasn’t tons of information in it. It talked about the goals of the first order, to ‘remove the disorder from the galaxy,’ taking down the Rebellion and the Republic. That the First Order’s job is ‘simply to maintain order.’ One piece that struck you was the education section: ‘Make sure to read all education information, approved literature, watch videos, and after the registration the twice-daily morale sessions.’

You were beginning to believe that Scott was right about one thing, that they were probably going to brainwash you into believing their beliefs. On the back of the pamphlet, there was a section about recruitment for the stormtroopers. 

You moved on to the next pamphlet, ironically a recruitment pamphlet for the stormtrooper ranks. It was fairly convincing. Talking about exploring the galaxy frontier and helping out other planets. They were also in need of scientists, researchers, and industrialists. The First Order seemed to be a military heavy government. 

The last pamphlet is the one that interested you the most.[ “Leadership of the First Order: Get to know your new leaders.”](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/611221859083714560/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-7b) The inner page had more information on Supreme Leader Ren, the man you were being taken to meet. ‘The master of the Knights of Ren, he has conquered much go the galaxy during his reign as Supreme Leader of the First Order. The man who became known as the “Jedi Killer” was born on the planet Chandrila in 5 ABY. Ren assassinated former Supreme Leader Snoke and usurped the position of Supreme Leader, seizing both military and political control of the First Order.’* Under his description was an image of him with his mask. You could now more clearly see that it was broken up jaggedly with red lines and there was chrome surrounding where his eyes should be. He was pictured in all black with a cape. In his hand you could see a sword that glowed bright red he looked intense.

On the next page was a photo of Allegiant General Armitage Hux, the red-haired officer from the news broadcast: ‘A human male who is serving as the allegiant general in the military forces of the First Order. Born on the planet Arkanis around the time of the Battle of Yavin, Hux was the son of Commandant Brendol Hux, creator of the Stormtrooper Army. Hux has followed in his father’s footsteps by instilling new technology and had ordered the firing of Starkiller’s superweapon to destroy the New Republic capital of Hosnian Prime.”*

In the middle of the pamphlet was a photo of the silver soldier you also saw on the news broadcast, Captain Phasma: A human female stormtrooper captain of the First Order. Phasma grew up as a member of the Scyre clan on the nuclear-ravaged world of Parnassos. She is a formidable warrior. Over the years, Phasma has risen through the ranks of the First Order and became in charge of the stormtrooper training program. Having consolidated her position within the First Order, Phasma became part of an official triumvirate consisting of Allegiant General Hux and the Supreme Leader Ren.’*

The last group inside the pamphlet were people you have yet to see. The Knights of Ren: ‘The Knights of Ren are an enclave of masked warriors who serve Ren—master of the Knights of Ren and Supreme Leader of the First Order. Adhering to the ways of the Ren, a philosophy epitomized by the lightsaber, the Knights roam the galaxy instilling order devotees of the First Order. Armed with distinctive weapons for ranged and close-quarter combat, they were the fearsome enforcers of their master’s will.”

On the back of the pamphlet, there was a quote from Allegiant General Hux, ‘Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.’**

You pondered on this pamphlet more than the others. This whole First Order thing seemed much more intense than you had initially imagined. You were mostly worried about meeting the Supreme Leader, you were also hoping you did not have to meet his red light sword. 

You looked up at Captain Moden Canady, who sat across from you. “I am finished with the pamphlets,” you said. 

“Good, I’ll pull up an education video on this datapad. I probably didn’t need to hand you the stormtrooper recruitment one, seeing as I doubt the Supreme Leader would ever approve of you joining, but it is standard procedure.” He then handed you the datapad. “This one is only about 42 minutes long, but we will arrive in Washington D.C. in about 50 minutes so it will be just enough time before we will disembark.”

You just nodded and started the video or the “Official First Order Film for the Purpose of Public Enlightenment. Authorized by Admiral Pho Jebeh Boessl First Order Minister for Public Enlightenment. ‘The Empire: The Jedi Question and the Galactic Lie.’

The video informed you about this thing called The Force, a group of ‘evil’ people called the Jedi and how they kidnapped children and their religious cult ways. You learned of a man named Darth Vader and the former Emperor Palpatine and how they wanted to restore order to the galaxy. You also learned about Order 66 and how there is no proof of such an order, that the New Republic has spread lies and calls any Jedicide deniers Neo-Sith. That a systematic order was never taken out by the imperialists, in fact, that many Jedi died because of disease and starvation due to war bombings. The true imperial plan was to put them into forced labor camps that took care of the masses, but many of them died due to separatist bombings. The video ended at 42:05. The video seemed to have many good points, but you were unsure of what to think at this point.

You looked back up at Captain Moden Canady, who was on his own datapad. “I am finished.”

He looked back up with you and then smiled, “Good, the Supreme Leader will be pleased that you have had at least some education before you meet him. I suppose now is the time to ask if you have any questions?”

“Why am I being brought to the Supreme Leader,” none of the education you have received thus far had answered that question.

“That is an answer that you should only get from the Supreme Leader himself,” said the captain with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

This answer both perplexed and worried you. “Am I going to be executed or imprisoned?”

“It is highly unlikely, but not impossible. Again, that is a question for the Supreme Leader.”

“Sir, we will be landing in a few moments please make sure all loose items are secured,” said the pilot. 

“Thank you KU-9843,” with that he put both data pads away and readjusted himself in his seat. 

You both silently waited to land. You felt the shuttle halt to a stop. The captain directed you to unbuckle and headed to the door. You waited for the door to open. When the door opened, you saw someone you did not expect to see. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Edited from Wookieepedia from each character  
> **Direct quote from George Orwell's 1984


	8. An Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were in shock, you covered your mouth to try and stop the sobs that were starting. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to ground yourself hoping this all wasn’t some stupid dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy everyone's feedback. It makes my day to know you all are enjoying this story so far. There is still a lot planned for the future. I said this is slow-burn, it is don't worry. Let me know what you think in the comments.

“Captain Moden Canady, just on time. The Supreme Leader will be pleased,” said the man you now know to be Allegiant General Armitage Hux.

Captain Canady saluted at the general. “The pleasure was all mine, sir. She has read through the first three enlightenment pamphlets and has watched ‘The Empire: The Jedi Question and the Galactic Lie.’”

“Good. Unfortunately, the Supreme Leader is in a meeting with the President at the moment, but I will take her from here. I will be sure that the Supreme Leader knows that you have personally escorted her from your registration post,” and with that, the general motioned for you to follow him into the White House. 

“The Supreme Leader won’t be long. In fact, he was initially disappointed that he would not be present for your arrival, but this will give me time to make sure everything is perfect for your meeting. I was most excited to learn that I would be seeing you before he would be. It gives me time to examine if the rumors are true,” You arrived into a large parlor room this one being in all red. The general stopped in the middle of the room and turned to face you, “Show me your wrist.”

This startled you for a moment but complied, showing him the names of your matches. He took the glove off his right hand and brushed his fingers over the names; it made you shiver.

“It is true. I am glad I got the chance to see it before he does,” said the General, almost mesmerized by the simple black letters. “Please sit, he will not be pleased if he finds out that you have been standing this whole time. Are you in need of any food or drink while we wait?”

Still processing all that the General said, you move to sit down almost weightlessly. “If I could have a glass of water,” you asked, still in a daze. 

The general snapped his fingers and a junior officer, whom you didn’t even notice before, quickly left the room and returned with a tray that held a pitcher of water and three cups. She poured you a glass; you took a sip and thanked her.

She addressed the general, “Sir, the conference room seemed to be finishing up. I believe the Supreme Leader will be here shortly.”

The general nodded and thanked her. He lightly paced around the room with his hands behind his back in deep thought. 

You were in the room maybe two minutes before you could hear lots of movement outside the room.

You were sitting with your back to the door. You notice the general physically tense before bowing slightly and saying, “Supreme Leader.”

You jumped slightly before turning to face the man in question. You set the water on a table next to you and then stood lightly clasping your hands in front of you nervously, quickly looking at him before shifting your gaze to the floor. You stood in silence, not knowing what to do.

He slightly to a few steps towards you. Without speaking he reached out and gently took your forearm in his hand bringing it towards himself turning it so he could read your wrist. He let go of your forearm, but you kept it in place. He moved to remove his glove. You could now see his large human hand with equally large fingers caress the name on your wrist. You felt as though your knees were about to give out. He placed his left hand on your bicep to steady you before helping you to sit down. 

He knelt down in front of you while now holding your hand in his with the palm facing up so he could still read the name, “I wish to be left alone.” The modulated voice was much clearer than it had been on tv.

Hux and the other officer quickly left the room. You heard the door shut. He looked up at you. For a moment you looked into his mask where his eye should be wondering why this was happening. He looked at your face, almost studying you as you did him. He let go of your hand before reaching under his helmet. You heard a hiss then a click before he removed it, setting it to the side and taking your hand again.

You saw his face for the first time. He had beautiful long and thick wavy black hair. His face was long, his eyes were and dark, his skin was littered with beauty marks. He had a long jagged scar that started on his forehead above his inner right eye that continued down his cheek before disappearing into his collar. His nose was larger and angular as was his jawline. But his lips were full and were wonderfully pink compared to his almost pale skin. He was breathtakingly beautiful, and such a contrast compared to the helmet that he wore. He was the first to speak. 

“I have been searching for such a long time, and yet the words that I have dreamt over and over escape me,” his voice was rich, deep and calm. He glanced back down at your wrist.

You were stunned, still having no idea what this all meant. 

He glanced back up at you saying, “for many years, your name has been the only constant in my life. My only hope. My only light in the darkness.”

Suddenly it clicked. Was he your match? Was the Supreme Leader your match? Was this strikingly beautiful man in front of you your match? Surely he couldn’t be matched to you. You are a nobody, especially compared to someone the likes of him. There has to be a mistake. Surely the fates wouldn’t taunt you like this. 

“My name,” it came out as barely a whisper, barely above a breath. You were trembling.

“Yes. Your name.” He said it. “That is your name isn’t it,” he asked almost in disbelief that you could ask such a thing. 

“Yes,” you say sitting back in disbelief. 

He lets go of your hand, and you feel your heart starting to break. He slightly rolled up his sleeve, revealing his wrist. He shows it to you. On it is your name in black letters. You move your hand to his wrist, ghosting your fingertips over your name. This time he is the one who gasps and shivers slightly. You believe him.

“I have been searching the galaxy for you, planet after planet. Ever since I joined the First Order. Hoping and praying to the Force that you would still want me,” he said sounding heartbroken.

“Still want me?” 

“I am a broken man, a monster. What do I need to do to convince you to stay with me?” He was now pleading to you.

“Convince you to stay? Why would you need to do that? I am a nobody, you’re the Supreme Leader of the First Order. You should want someone else, someone who could help you,” you say this in again in disbelief and start to form tears in your eyes as this was all too much for you to handle.

“Why would I need anyone else when the Force has given you to me, the only gift I could want?” His voice was broken.

You were in shock; you covered your mouth to try tostop the sobs that were starting. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to ground yourself, hoping this all wasn’t some stupid dream. You felt a pair of arms snake around you before you were pulled into his chest. His head resting on yours, a hand rubbing your back trying to calm you down. He started to rock you both back and forth, you could hear him failing to hold back his own tears. You both stayed like that for what felt like hours. 

“Will you stay with me,” he asked into your hair.

“Yes,” you answered this time a bit more than a whisper.

You pulled apart. With one arm still around you, he took your cheek into his hand. He brushed the hair from your face and the tears from your eyes. You looked into his eyes, breath steadying. He reached around you and grabbed the glass from the table, handing it to you, implying to you that you should drink. You finish the glass, and he takes it from you and sets it back onto the table. He helps you to stand. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You heard a knock on the door.

“Yes, Hux?” Ren asked after clearing his throat.

You heard the door open and the general in question poked his head in, “My lord, you should eat. I don’t believe she has had anything to eat either since before her registration this morning.” With that, you glanced at your watch. Somehow time completely slipped away from you and it was now 2 o’clock. The last time you ate was before 5:30. You glanced at Ren and sheepishly nodded.   
He turned back to Hux and responded, “Have something prepared for us and brought here.”

“Of course sir,” responded the general before once again shutting the door. 

He glanced at you almost shyly before bending down and picking up his helmet, almost fiddling with it. 

“We will return to the ship tonight and you can choose if you want to come back down tomorrow,” he said with his eyes still on the helmet. 

“So, it is safe to assume that you won’t execute me,” you asked vocalizing one of your fears from the shuttle. 

He looked up quickly, startled at your question, “Of course not I could never. If there was ever a choice, I would surely choose myself to die before you.”

There was another knock on the door. Ren put his helmet on again before saying, “Come in.”  
Three junior officers came in with carts and trays that were filled with a variety of meats, cheeses, pastries, fruit, and other food, much more food than you two could ever eat. On one of the carts, it had a small foldable table that two of the officers took off and set up between you. They laid a tablecloth and set out plates and silverware. You and Ren took a seat. They brought many of the foods closer to you, like a spread. They gave you both water and white wine before asking, “Will that be all Supreme Leader?”

“Yes, that is all.” And with that, they all left and shut the door again. Ren removed his helmet and glanced at you before gesturing for you to dig in. You picked the foods that look most appetizing to you and put them on your plate, as did he.

After taking a few bites, you worked up the courage to ask. “What am I to call you?”

Ren looked up at you from his plate, “You may call me whatever you like. The only thing I ask is that when we address the public that you call me Supreme Leader.”

You nodded and thought for a moment. You thought back to what Captain Canady had said to you and pushed its back into your mind for another time. “May I call you **Kylo**?”

“Of course,” he responded to you with a small smile that reached his eyes, which now almost had a sparkle. 

You returned the smile and went back to your food. 

“Now I think it is my turn to ask you something.” He said, and you looked up at him in response. “What is your favorite flower?”

This was a rather odd question. You thought for a moment before responding to what your favorite flower was. 

He sat back, finished with his food, with a glass of wine in his hand, very pleased. You smiled at him and quickly finished yours. You both sat back in your chairs with wine in your hands, just casually studying each other. 

Again there was another knock on the door and the general stuck his head in. “I know you are busy Supreme Leader, but your next meeting starts in 5 minutes.” And with that, he shut the door. 

  
Now looking highly annoyed, he finished the wine in one gulp before standing and grabbing his helmet. “I’m sorry, but this is where we have to depart for now. I’ll make sure Hux will take you where ever you want to go.” And with that, his helmet was on, and he was out the door. 


	9. Packing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your theory about possibly being matched with aliens? Well, he isn’t exactly an alien, he is a part of the First Order. When they found out who I was matched to I was immediately escorted here.”

You were alone for a moment; you swore you could almost hear Kylo talking to the General on the other side of the door. He sounded harsh. You hear his footsteps walk further down the hall. 

The door opens and the General walks in with the tree junior officers trailing him. He stepped back and let the junior officers quickly clean up your and Kylo’s lunch. “The Supreme Leader has made me in charge of your safety. He also said I am to take you where ever you would like to go.”

You nodded. Just now you realized you never messaged Hayden or Carter that you had been escorted, in fact, you had yet to check your phone.

You pulled it out of your back pocket and saw that you had 30 messages from Carter and Hayden and 15 missed calls. They were all asking where you were, if something happened, if you were all right and if you were being interrogated. 

You decided to call Carter. “Excuse me, General, I need to make a phone call.”

He nodded and stepped out of the room. Leaving you alone. You dialed Carter’s phone number; it rang twice before they picked up.

“Oh, my god! Are you all alright? We have been trying to get a hold of you for hours now,” their voice was laced heavily with concern.

“I know. I’m alright, everything is fine. Actually, it’s better than fine, but I don’t know if this is how I want to explain it. I’m safe, I’m in Washington D.C.”

“Wait, I’ll put you on speaker. You will explain everything,” you heard Carter switch the phone to speaker. And heard Hayden clear his throat. 

“Hayden, you were right,” you said with a light chuckle. 

“Sweet! Wait right about what,” he asked, not remembering.

“Your theory about possibly being matched with aliens? Well, he isn’t exactly an alien, he is a part of the First Order. When they found out who I was matched to I was immediately escorted here,” you paused second guessing if you should reveal who Kylo is. “He is a high-ranking officer, so it looks like I’ll be joining them.”

“Wow, we are so happy for you. I’m guessing you’ll probably leave when they do. Are you coming home tonight?” Asked Carter.

“He said I’ll be joining him on the ship tonight and that I will be able to come back down tomorrow,” You glanced at your watch. 3:30 PM, the shuttle ride itself only took an hour and a half to get you from Toronto to D.C. You should have enough time to go back, grab some things and be back in time for the nightly public First Order address. “I know you guys have more questions but I have to go.”

“Bye, be safe my dude,” said Hayden. 

“You know we love you and want you to be happy, just call us when you can,” said Carter. 

“I know and I love you guys too,” and with that, you said your goodbyes, and you ended the call. 

Unsure of what to do, you walked over to the door, opened it and stuck your head out. You could see the General down the hallway talking to some other First Order officers and people whom you assumed to be White House staff. You called to him, “General?”

He turned and started walking towards you. You now exited the room. “Yes,” he asked.

“Your orders were to take me anywhere that I would like to go, correct,” you asked.

“Correct, I am assuming you have made a choice,” he responded. 

“I was wondering if I could take a shuttle back to Toronto to gather some of my things? I’m hoping to return before the nightly public address.”

“That can be arranged,” with that he looked over his shoulder to one of the junior officers who left immediately to make the arrangement. “Of course because I have been tasked personally with your safety I will have to escort you.” And with that, the junior was back and informed the General that there was a shuttle ready. He nodded, and they excused themselves. He gestured for you to once again follow him and you were off to the shuttle. 

You exited the White House and were once again aboard the shuttle, “This is a Xi-class light shuttle. It is mostly used for ferrying on planet surfaces and transporting freight. Not that I expect that you will remember this right now, but if you are to be Supreme Leader’s consort then you will be expected to know these things.”

You looked at the General, slightly shocked. This wasn’t something you had thought deeply about. You were now about to literally give up your whole, albeit boring, life for a man who was in charge of a military regime. You didn’t want to be in the spotlight. You just wanted to be loved and to love.

Both of you buckled in facing each other, “Would you like me to prepare some education videos for you? You have much more to learn than the average First Order planet citizen,” he said while working on a datapad. 

You just nodded your head, and he handed one to you, “This video is outdated but contains lots of good information and background knowledge for you,” responded the General. 

He pulled up a video titled [“First Order”](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/611404732538535936/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-9b) by The Templin Institute. This one was much shorter and was just under ten minutes. This video gave you an idea as to who the man Kylo killed in order to receive the Supreme Leader position. It also gave you more information as to how the First Order came to be. When you glanced up after finishing the video the General used his datapad to send you another. 

This time it was a speech given by the General himself from Starkiller base, [“The First Order: Last day fo the Republic.”](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/611404732538535936/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-9b) The video was intimidatingly impressive. It was similar to the speech he gave yesterday, but this time it caused the destruction of an entire star system, the New Republic’s capital.

“What did you think,” he asks as you can see the smug look on his face. 

“It was intimidatingly impressive. An entire system gone in a matter of minutes.”

He was pleased with your answer as he sent you a news release from the First Order. [“The Voice of the First Order: Issue 23.”](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/611404732538535936/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-9b) Ironically the first one being about propaganda, avoiding Resistance and the New Republic propaganda, and where a First Order citizen my uncover the truth. 

Lastly, he sent you a bunch of articles talking about the different transport ships that were standard issue within the First Order.

The pilot spoke to the General informing him of the arrival back at the registration station. You handed the General back the datapad. You both unbuckled and stood to exit the shuttle.

“General, if you don’t mind I need to take my car back to my apartment to get my things,” you said to him.

“Yes, one of the ancient wheeled vehicles. I suppose we will have to return it. How many passengers can you fit,” he asked, almost disgusted by the idea of having to ride in a car. 

“Not including the driver I can technically seat 4, but only three comfortably as it is a sedan,” you replied. 

“This will probably be the only time you will be allowed to drive one of those death machines again, but we will take three troopers with us for protection,” he said. And the thought of never driving again made you sad and curious as to see what freedoms you would be allowed. The General ordered three troopers to escort you two your car. “We will have the shuttle pick us up from your apartment to make things easier upon departure.”

With that, you got into your car. The General still seemed to be disgusted with it, even though it was clean. The three troopers struggled to sit in the back as they were too large for the seat. Once everyone was settled and buckled, you were on your way to your apartment. It was not a long drive and for once all of the lights were green when you got to them. 

Parking in your ramp, you all got out of your car and approached your building’s elevator. The troopers were making sweeps of the area and the General followed confidently behind them and all of them behind you. The elevator ride is awkward, even more so than the car ride.  
You reach your floor and you unlock your do, but be for you enter one of the stormtroopers moves you out of the way. They enter and sweep your tiny apartment.

You moved to follow them in, as did the General. “I thought the people of your planet were supposed to have large dwellings,” he said commenting on your small apartment. 

This made you a bit ticked off, and the fact that they were all wearing shoes inside and tracking dirt in. “Why would I need a larger apartment when I live alone?”

The General just hummed in response. You went to your closet and gathered your duffle bag and your backpack. You began packing all of your clothes and your toiletries, knowing this could be one of the last times you would be back at your apartment. Packing didn’t take very long. You grabbed your work tote and filled it with your laptop, planner, notebooks, and chargers. You also grabbed your favorite coffee to-go cup and water bottle. It only took about 15 minutes to pack everything. “Is there anything I can get you? I have water, tea, coffee, and various fruit and snacks.”

The General shook his head in response and the troopers gave no sign of acknowledgment. And with that, your life was packed and ready to be moved again. 

“This is everything I need, we should be able to go now.”

The General nodded to the troopers, and you made your way down to the main entrance of your apartment building. Once again you boarded the shuttle.


	10. Of Pageantry and Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It is an honor to meet you, ma’am,” said General Pryde who bowed slightly.   
> This made you feel weird, being treated as something you are not, or at least not yet. 

Now strapped in, the General received a message on his datapad. “The Supreme Leader would like it if I talked you through how this evening will go, both at the public address and when we return to the _Steadfast_ tonight. Once the first step of First Order occupation of Earth is complete, the Supreme Leader will leave a general in charge and you will be taken to the _Supremacy_ ,” said Allegiant General Armitage Hux. 

“May I take some notes,” you ask. The General nodded, and you proceeded to take out a small notebook from your work tote. 

“Tonight you will not be on main display at the public address but you will be present. At precisely 7 PM EST the Supreme Leader will give his public address on the dais outside the White House to all media. It will be brief but effective, then I will give my own public address immediately afterward once that it is finished it will be the first time your planet will hear the First Order anthem, which will conclude the address. You will most likely be standing off to the side with the other High Command officers. Once the address has been concluded you will be taken to an _Upsilon_ -class command shuttle, Supreme Leader Ren’s private shuttle, and you will be escorted by TIE fighters to the _Steadfast_ ,” the General said pausing as you were struggling to keep up with the information. When he had seen that you had caught up he continued.

“When you embark on the _Steadfast,_ there will be a full salute from on-duty officers and a battalion of stormtroopers in the hanger bay. You and he will probably pause, you behind him, and they will salute and you will go on your way to his quarters. He will probably give you a tour of the _Steadfast_ tomorrow morning or that evening if there is time. Moving about the ship you will use your FOI to gain access to different places,” noted the General. 

“You will also notice that day and night on the ship are simulated when the night is simulated the lights and hallways of the ship are darker. The worker shifts are split up into 6-hour increments, Alpha from 04:00-10:00 hours, Beta from 10:00-16:00 hours, Gamma 16:00-20:00 hours, and Delta from 20:00-04:00. Currently, we are matching Earth’s cycle and matching to EST, as that is most convenient for the Supreme Leader and High Command Officers. This should be something worth noting as we have yet to have a base planet so you may be spending lots of time onboard ships,” said the General.

You caught up to the General again now realizing something, “I wasn’t given a First Order Identification number. I didn’t really finish my registration, they escorted me in the middle of it I believe.”

“Yes, I’ll pull up your file,” he said while pulling out a datapad. “That is easy for your identification

The number is AA-0002. The Supreme Leader’s is AA-0001. That should be easy for you to remember, but I will have dog tags commissioned for you so you will not have to enter it every time you want to change basic access rooms.” With that, you saw him type in some messages into the datapad and he returned back to you. “Do you have any other questions so far? We are almost there.”

“I will just be standing off to the side during the public address and will not need to do anything else, correct,” you ask.

“Correct, unless the Supreme Leader asks you to, but I doubt he will make you do anything more today.” Then the pilot informed the General of your arrival back at the White House and you departed the ship. This time you were graced by the presence of the Supreme Leader himself. 

“Do you have everything you need,” asked Kylo, his voice still distorted under the mask. 

“I believe so. How much time until your address,” you ask. 

“An hour, we can return to the sitting room if you would like,” you nodded in response. Kylo had ordered a junior officer to take your bags to his ship. You took your phone and notebook out of your work tote before handing it over. You followed Kylo to the same red sitting room you were in before. He ordered a junior officer to bring you some refreshments. Once the officer left, he took off the helmet. “I hope that your flights today weren’t too exhausting.”

“They were fine, more like long car rides than flights. Did your meeting last the entire time while I was gone,” you asked.

“No, I have had two more since then. Trying to bring your home planet up to speed. Today we discussing health regulations. Unfortunately, many people on your planet are behind on simple things such as vaccinations and health check-ups, some places lack basic hygiene. Along with education, this is a priority within the First Order. Unfortunately, this will make the first step much longer. I have had to call upon the _Finalizer_ to be based here so we can speed up the process but even with light speed they will take 3 days to get here,” commented Kylo. 

There was a knock on the door which prompted him to put on his helmet. He told the junior officer to come in and leave the tray of coffee and light snack food. Once the officer had left, he removed his helmet and joined you. “I hope you don’t mind we will be eating dinner on board the _Steadfast_ tonight after the address.”

You shook your head no in response, enjoying your coffee. “The General informed me of how tonight was going to go, I assumed because we were getting back so close to the address and that we would be leaving right after that this was a possibility.”

You saw him give a ghost of a smile at this. You had so many questions you wanted to ask but now didn’t seem to be the time, nor the place. Finishing your coffee and a light snack you placed your cup back on the tray. 

There was a knock on the door, Kylo once again put on his helmet and told whoever was at the door to come in. 

General Hux walked in, “Supreme Leader, the preparations for the address are about to begin. It has been requested that we go to the dais.”

“Very well,” responded Kylo, who moved to stand. You followed his lead and followed both of them down the hall and out to the front lawn. 

There you could really see what you only saw on the tv the past few days. The large red banners, the battalion of stormtroopers. The line of officers off the side of the stage. The huge number of media personnel waiting for your arrival. While Kylo took to the stage, the General took the time to bring you to the other officers and instructed you that General Pryde would help you during the address. 

“It is an honor to meet you, ma’am,” said General Pryde who bowed slightly. 

This made you feel weird, being treated as something you are not, or at least not yet. 

“If you will stand next to me, we shall be standing during the whole address. During the anthem stand at attention and place your left hand over your heart, I believe you do something similar for the U.S. anthem anyway,” said the General with an eerie air about him. 

You moved to stand next to him. He on the outside of the aisle in the front row and you the next person in line. About 20 other officers were in your row and about four rows deep were the ones present. You glanced up at the stage, knowing it would be soon that the address would begin; you saw Kylo glance in your direction to you it seemed as if he was looking directly at you, but with the mask, you couldn’t be sure. But you swore he was looking at you, a small shock went through your spine and made you break your unknown eye contact. 7 PM struck. 

Kylo or Supreme Leader Ren began to speak, “The First Order takes pride in the health of its citizens. Currently, the health of your planet is substandard to the high standards that the First Order keeps. 

When intergalactic trade becomes available to Earth, you will be exposed to a number of possible new diseases. The First Order takes many precautions to the health of its citizens so a new mandatory health regime will begin once you have been registered. 

Vaccines against intergalactic diseases will be administered. This is so we can preserve life and prevent any death that we can. 

First Order citizens are the healthiest and happiest in the galaxy. We are pleased that Earth will now be brought up to speed medically. That is all.” With that, he stepped back from the podium, and Allegiant General Hux stepped forward. 

“Starting tomorrow alongside registration stations you will find medical facilities to be able to receive these new vaccines and health check-ups. Only once you are registered may you receive these vaccines. Once you have received this health check-up you will receive a health schedule and regime along with standard-issue medications from the top of the line First Order medical staff. 

It is paramount that all First Order citizens take their health seriously. A strong individual makes for a strong empire. A strong and healthy citizen is a good citizen within the First Order. Any citizen who has an issue with this health regime should direct their comments and concerns to any Stormtrooper or First Order officer at their local health station. Personal health is part of the foundation of organizational purity.”* With that, the General stepped back and Kylo stepped forward. 

The anthem started, TIE fighters flew overhead in a blue angels sort of style. There were no words being spoken. The anthem had a march-like quality to it, and a dark one too. At the end, you saw all of the officers and stormtroopers raise their left hand into the air as a sort of salute. Kylo had his left hand over his heart in a fist with his index and thumb showing. You kept your position as it was what General Pryde had instructed you to do. 

Once Kylo dropped his hand, the officers did too, and then the stormtroopers. He moved to leave the stage, as did General Hux. 

“Follow me,” said General Pryde. And you did, he brought you over to where a large closed book looking ship was, and where Kylo and General Hux where along with the silver armored stormtrooper you know to be Captain Phasma. 

Kylo gestured for you to enter the ship first, which was somewhat of a shock to the generals, but you obliged. You entered and paused, not knowing where you were to sit. Kylo was right behind you. He sat in the middle right; you sat to the left of him and started to buckle. Once you were buckled in he reached over to check the straps, to make sure they were secured. This made you blush and sneak a peek at him. He glanced up at you, although still wearing his mask you felt as if you locked eyes for a second before he sat back in his seat and buckled himself. The pilot informed you of departure and you were off to the _Steadfast._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Feedback and Comments, they mean so much to me. They encourage me to keep writing this story.
> 
> *Partial quote edited from George Orwell's 1984


	11. A Room to be Shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decided to take a leap of faith and talk first, “General Hux said you might give me a tour of the ship.”
> 
> This seemed to take his mind off of whatever was going through his head. “Yes,” he said clearing his throat. “We have time tonight if you would like to?”
> 
> You nodded in agreement and he had a ghost of a smile on his face.

You could feel the pressure of leaving the atmosphere but you did not experience any weightlessness which was disappointing. The ride was silent. No one spoke except for the pilot when informing station control of your arrival. You were very nervous, this being your first time leaving Earth and all. 

The pilot informed you all that it was safe to depart the shuttle. Kylo quickly and swiftly unbuckled himself and reached over to unbuckle you. In a way it made you feel like a child, but it also felt oddly protective. 

Kylo was the first to leave the shuttle. The other officers waited and followed after you. You all descended the ramp and paused at the base. General Hux was right. There was a large battalion of stormtroopers and numerous officers and pilots waiting for you. They all saluted, Kylo nodded his head, and he was off walking again. You were struggling to keep up with his long strides through the handier. Reaching the door he paused and turned to you as if he was now remembering that you were here, he took your arm in his and guided you through the long hallways of the _Steadfast._ Out of the corner of your eye, you could see two junior officers following you with your bags. 

Throughout your journey in the halls neither you nor Kylo spoke. Officers ducked out of the way and saluted. When you came to a cross-section, there was a squad of stormtroopers marching the halls, they paused and saluted while you and Kylo turned down the other hall. Finally, you were in a section that hadn’t had many doors for a while and that no one seemed to be in. You both approached the door. Kylo punched in a code on the panel next to the door and you stepped in. 

The room was quite grand and white, brighter than you expected for a man dressed in all black. The room you entered was very large and had a large bay window showing the stars. There was no furniture in this room except for a podium of sorts that held a melted looking mask. To the right of the doors there were stairs that you could see leading to a bedroom, to the left of the room there were stairs leading to a kitchen. The whole place seemed bare—empty. 

The junior officers just left your bags by the inside of the door and left. You two were alone once again. Kylo let go of your arm, moved away from you, and removed his helmet. A podium raised from the ground, this one had a layer of ashes in it. He placed his helmet there. He turned to you but stayed silent. You could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words to say it. Instead, he grabbed your bags from the doorway and took them up the stairs. You followed him. He paused at the end of the bed and turned to you, unsure. His eyes were nervously darting to anywhere but you. He then went to a door on the left side of the room. It opened and revealed another bedroom with a bathroom attached to it. He set your bags on the bed. 

This whole situation was awkward, you could tell there were a million thoughts running through his head but he was unable to speak even one. So you asked, “Shall we have dinner soon?”

This snapped him out of his own thoughts. He nodded and gestured for you to head towards the kitchen. “I’ll have it sent over.” And with that, you saw a datapad in his hands as he quickly sent an order to the ship’s kitchen. In the kitchen of your shared quarters, there was a large dining room table that you both sat at, Beauty and the Beast style. 

A few moments passed and just as you were about to speak again the door opened to the main room and a robot appeared with a cart full of food. Impressively the cart was able to traverse the stairs, and the droid went quickly to work setting the food that Kylo ordered in front of you. The food seemed familiar but was still not something you have seen before. You wondered about all the different species of plants and animals that were available to the First Order as food. You both began to eat. 

Kylo again seemed as if he desperately wanted to make conversation but was unable to find the right words. 

You decided to take a leap of faith and talk first, “General Hux said you might give me a tour of the ship.”

This seemed to take his mind off of whatever was going through his head. “Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “We have time tonight if you would like to?”

You nodded in agreement, and he had a ghost of a smile on his face. You two finished your meal now with a pleasant silence. “What will we do with the dishes,” you ask. 

“A droid will pick them up while we are on our tour,” responded Kylo. You were both now in the big main room where he picked up his mask again and punched in a few messages to his datapad. Once he was finished and his helmet was on, he gestured for you to take his arm again.

This felt nice like you were a princess and he was your prince, your knight. It made your heart flutter, and you tried to conceal your blush. You were now out in the hallway, winding and turning until you were at the bridge. You both enter and the chatter you could hear while the door opened died immediately once everyone realized you were there. Generals Hux and Pryde were there, Hux spoke first:

“Supreme Leader, I see that you did decide to give m’lady a tour this evening.” 

“Yes, she requested it,” said Kylo simply. “Would you explain the different aspects of the bridge to her?” And with that, Kylo seemed to want to release your arm so you could follow the general. This saddened you a bit, but you just followed along. 

“Certainly Supreme Leader it would be my pleasure,” said Hux, he then gestured for you to follow him. “My lady.” And with that, the general took you around the bridge, explaining the different roles and introducing you to the officers. You could tell they were all on edge with Kylo there, especially because he was still standing where you left him, but he seemed to be following you with his eyes. The officers being nervous as to not mess up, but they seemed more comfortable with the general. Once he was finished explaining everything and introducing you to everyone, he returned you back to Kylo and you thanked him.

You took Kylo’s arm again, and you left the bridge, you wound the hallways until you came to the med bay. Stepping inside, you were met by a man in a white uniform. 

“Supreme Leader.” And he bowed slightly and turned to you. “My lady, my name is Dr. Xero Dabrini. I am the chief medical officer on board the _Steadfast._ I was informed to give you a tour of the med bay and to give your vaccinations.” And Kylo released your arm again, letting the doctor give you a tour. By the end of the tour, he led you into an examination room.

“Hopefully you will not have to really ever be to the med bay apart from your health check-ups. Now I will be administering all the vaccines that we require, but first I will check your medical record to see what you are up to date on.” He used a larger datapad to pull up your medical record. You assume that they had it after you had been registered. After confirming your current vaccinations, he pulled out a device that had several needles in it. He prepared your arm with what you assumed to be a sterilizing agent and a numbing gel. You didn’t even feel the shots. He then took something that looked like a radar scanner and held it up to you. “You seem to be in excellent health. Now I have one question for you. May I ask if you are on any form of birth control?”

This question startled you. It was probably just standard procedure, but it was also known to him that you were the Supreme Leader’s match. You wondered if this influenced the question because Kylo and you hadn’t spoken much to each other yet and it was not something you were ready for with him. 

“I currently have and an implant in my arm, I just got it three months ago, they are supposed to be effective for three years,” you responded. The doctor nodded and typed something into your medical record. 

“That is very good. The Supreme Leader may request that a First Order one should be put in, but for now, that will be sufficient.” With that, the doctor led you back out to the main lobby to join Kylo again. You thanked the doctor and took Kylo’s arm again, and he led you down the halls.

You were tempted to ask him about what the doctor said, but knowing you had only spoken with him a little you were sure this wasn’t the time to ask him. He wasn’t expecting you to sleep with him; he gave you your own room. 

You came upon the hanger once again. This time Kylo took you around to the hangar and he talked about the different ships. There was a TIE fighter that was different from the others and he didn’t mention it to you.

“And this one,” you asked, making him pause in front of it. 

He looked at you, then at the ship. “This is mine. I designed this model when I was new to the First Order. Its faster, with its twin-ion engine and has two SJFS L-s9.6 laser cannons, two SJFS L-7.5 heavy laser cannons, an Arakyd ST7 concussion, and mag-pulse warhead launcher and a proton torpedo launcher.” He seemed proud of it, even though the vocoder hid what you assumed in his voice. 

“Sounds like only a very skilled pilot is able to fly it,” you said. Through the vocoder, you could hear him clear his throat as he glanced down at the floor. If he wasn’t wearing his mask, you swore he was probably blushing at your compliment.

Regaining his composure he asked, “shall I show you one of my favorite parts of the ship?”

You eagerly nodded and smiled at him. Once again you were off in the winding halls of the ship, knowing you would have to be guided for a while as it seemed hard to memorize where you were going and because there were no signs anywhere telling you where you were. 

You came upon a door, and Kylo punched in a code. The door opened to a large empty room. He guided you in. On either side of the room, there were large windows. On one side it showed you a hangar bay, similar to the one you toured, but this one had more cargo and seemed to be where they actually built ship, not just maintained them. On the other side, the windows were open to the stars. Both sides were beautiful in their own way.

Kylo removed his helmet for the first time during your tour. “I come here when I need to think. When I desire to be alone with my thoughts, where no one can disturb me.” 

He let go of your arm but took your hand and lead you to the hangar side. Your heartbeat was a mess. 

“No one is allowed in this room unless it is an emergency. But this room will always be open to you. There is a room like this on every one of the First Order ships. They are all open to you,” he said seriously.

You took this time to look at him in the eyes and appreciate that he was allowing you into a private part of his life. “Thank you, Kylo,” and you gently squeezed his hand. Now you could confirm that when he slightly ducked his head that he was blushing, he also gave a small smile too. It made your heart swell.

He then led you to the star side of the room. “My dream is to share every star in the galaxy with you. That they know how good the First Order is. And that they may know peace and order.”

The first part of that made you blush, especially because he gently squeezed his hand as you did his. You two remained standing there staring into space for a few minutes before he put his helmet on once more and lead you out of the room. 

“This will be our last stop of the night,” he said pausing so the doors could open. They revealed a large throne room. In the entrance, there was a long narrow walkway that had holes on either side of it for no other reason than to look impressive. The narrow walkway opened up into a large expanse of the room. Long red curtains were covering the beautiful windows. You thought this was a shame. There were 4 devices, on tin each corner, they reminded you of Tesla coils as they came out of the floor. In the middle of the expanse, there was a large throne, too big for one person, but you suppose that was the point. In the room, there were a number of red guards that reminded you of the Knights of Ren from the pamphlet but were somehow different. 

“This is my throne room. I am not often here as much as my predecessor was, but I can be found here at different times of the day. I prefer to move about the ship and the planet that we are occupying at the time. To be involved with the daily workings of the First Order.”

Kylo brought you to the throne. “Sit,” he gently commanded. 

You were taken back by this, but you followed orders. He stepped back. Seeming to admire the sight in front of him. 

“The throne becomes you,” he said complimenting you. At this, you blushed and stood feeling awkward at the situation. He took your arm once more and lead you back to your chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading all of the comments and that everyone is enjoying the story so far. This story will easily be 100k but for sure more.


	12. An Awkward Goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrived back at your chambers, once inside Kylo removed his helmet and set it on the ashes. He no longer had your arm in his. This disappointed you—the lack of contact. He headed up the stairs to the bedroom and you followed. 

You arrived back at your chambers, once inside Kylo removed his helmet and set it on the ashes. He no longer had your arm in his. This disappointed you—the lack of contact. He headed up the stairs to the bedroom, and you followed. 

He stood at the end of his bed awkwardly. You headed to your room; the door opened, and you saw something in the room that wasn’t there earlier. A gigantic bouquet of your favorite flowers was on the side table. You gasped turning toward Kylo, “Thank you. They are beautiful.”

You saw Kylo smile quickly before turning his head away from you. “You’re welcome. Goodnight.” You could see him trying to control his breathing. Taking deep breaths and seemed tense in his shoulders. 

You shut the door to your room. Now alone for the first time all day, you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. You gathered your thoughts for a moment. Before thinking too much, you moved to your bag and got ready for bed. You grabbed the pajamas and headed to the bathroom. It looked relatively normal to you with a vanity sink, a toilet, an enormous bathtub, and a separate glass shower. 

Finishing preparing for bed you headed over to the bed. You quickly unpacked and moved things into the closet, knowing you wouldn’t be able to sleep if things were out of place. When finished, you moved to get into bed, you messed with the panel off to the side of the bed until the lights turned off.

You hoped that this day wasn’t just a dream. A lot happened, and you were trying to remember it all, just in case, it was a dream. You moved to lie on your side and just stared at the flowers until you fell asleep. 

The next morning you woke up with the slowly brightening lights of your room, squinting you wondered what time it was because you realized you forgot to set an alarm. You jumped out of bed looking for your phone. You found it, saw it was at 10% and that it was 9:00 am. This was the latest you had slept in since starting your full-time job. You weren’t able to plug in your phone as there were no plugins and you weren’t getting any service anyway so it did not bother you. 

You got up and got dressed, a sweater and a pair of jeans, the ship was cold so you felt it was justified. You made the bed and left the room. You noticed Kylo wasn’t in his room and made your way to the kitchen, but before you could do that there was a junior officer in the main living space. 

“Oh, hello! Are you looking for the Supreme Leader,” you asked the short brunette man.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, my lady. The Supreme Leader has informed me that I am to be at your service today,” said the man nervously. 

“Ok, and your name is,” you asked.

He flinched at this, knowing he was probably supposed to introduce himself, to begin with.

“I’m sorry my lady, my name is Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka,” he replied tightly gripping his hat in his hands.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lieutenant. I just woke up and have yet to have breakfast. Have you eaten yet,” you ask.

The Lieutenant seemed surprised by your question, “Yes ma’am I have, would you like me to help you order something?”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” you could tell that he was prepared to meet a different type of person than you. At first, he seemed scared, but now he seemed to relax a bit. He pulled out a small datapad from his pocket. 

“Is there anything in particular that you would like to eat,” he asked. 

“What do you have that is similar to Earth food?”

At this question, he seemed to frown, not knowing what you were asking exactly.   
“Do you have pancakes,” you ask. 

“Yes! Would you like some,” he asked, unsure. 

“Yes, with maple syrup if there is any and more importantly is there coffee?”

“Yes, ma’am I will order some right away is there anything else you need ma’am?”

“Not at this moment. Thank you, Lieutenant.” With that, he punched in your order on the datapad and you walked over to the dining table. You invited him to sit. “The Supreme Leader said I may return to earth today if I want. How would I go about doing that?”

“Yes ma’am, the Supreme Leader has requested that you are to be guarded by General Pryde and Commander Pyre with a squad of stormtroopers. Of course, I am to be at your service.” 

You were surprised at the amount of protection that Kylo seemed to deem necessary. But you just nodded at the Lieutenant. The door to the mailroom opened and the same droid from last night appeared with your food. You thanked it before it left and it beeped at you in response. 

“Do you have access to the Supreme Leader’s schedule,” you asked the Lieutenant. 

  
“Yes, ma’am. He is in meetings most of the day, but he had set aside some time in the late afternoon for you. He told me that it would be your decision as to what you wanted to do with that time.”

You wondered if there would be enough time for him to meet Carter and Hayden. But you thought better of it for now. Not knowing how he would react to meeting them. Plus, it sounded like you would be near Earth for a while since things were behind schedule. You finished eating. 

“I think I would like to return to Earth. Could you let the Supreme Leader know and ask him if there is anything he would like me to do while I am there?”

The Lieutenant nodded and sent a message through the datapad. “The General is currently on the bridge, would you like me to message him that you would like to leave or would you like to go directly to him?”

“Go to him, I think. Last night the Supreme Leader gave me a tour, but I wasn’t able to really figure out the hallways.”

And with that, you both were off down the winding corridors of the ship making your way to the bridge. Just like yesterday, officers ducked off to the side for you and stood at attention until you passed. You and the Lieutenant came to the bridge. Once again silence fell over the officers. You could tell this made the Lieutenant a bit anxious, but General Pryde made his way over to you. 

“My lady, I am guessing you have made the decision to return to the surface,” said the General. 

“Yes, I was told that I need your escort.” 

“Colonel Kaplan, you have command of the Bridge until General Quinn gets here during the Beta shift,” said the General to an older-looking officer. He nodded to the General. 

You all left the bridge and went to the hangar. There you saw a small group of stormtroopers and one that was decked out in gold armor. He addressed you, “Ma’am, General, we are ready to descend to the surface. The Supreme Leader sent back his command shuttle for you to use my lady.” 

Once again Kylo surprised you, and apparently the General and Lieutenant who seemed a bit shocked that the Supreme Leader sent back his personal command shuttle for you. You just followed the commander and boarded the ship. 

You all sat and buckled in with the Lieutenant on your right and the General on your left. 

“The Supreme Leader answered your question, he would like you to stop at the White House as he would like to see you,” said Lieutenant Mitaka. 

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” you responded and settling back into your chair bracing yourself for the flight. Part of you was giddy that Kylo requested to see you even though you knew his day was filled with meetings. 

The shuttle landed right outside the White House and you disembarked the craft. Crossing the lawn you could see Kylo’s tall frame coming towards the ramp. You could see the officers and troopers around you pause slightly as they prepared to greet the Supreme Leader. 

Kylo reached you and took your hand, quickly paused, and acknowledged the officers and lead you into the White House. He took you into the same sitting room you were in the day before. The junior officer in the room quickly left and shut the door behind them. Kylo then removed his mask and turned to you.

“How was your morning? How did you sleep,” he asked earnestly, still holding your hand. 

“Surprisingly, I slept well. I had a good morning so far, haven’t done anything other than have breakfast and see you,” you responded. 

Kylo seemed slightly bashful at your answer. He let go of your hand for a moment, to remove his glove, to hold it again. This time with skin on skin contact. His hand was large and warm, you could feel calluses and scars. The back of his hand was soft and his thumb slowly messaged your knuckles.

He was mesmerized for a moment before clearing his throat to say, “You asked if there is anything that I would like you to do. All I want is for you to be comfortable and happy.”

This made you smile, you stepped closer to him saying, “I am happy, I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help you with the First Order? I just hate thinking your busy while I just sit around doing nothing.”

You swore you could see the wheels turning in his brain, “Why don’t you sit in on the next few meetings with me? They may be boring to you, but you understand this planet better than anyone in the First Order, you may be able to offer some insight.”

“Ok,” you said smiling at your little victory, being able to spend some more time with him even though you would be in a room filled with other people talking about other things. You just wanted to be near him—to know him. 

He let go of your hand to put his glove and helmet back on. He took your arm this time and lead you out of the room and down the hall to a conference room full of different world leaders. Maybe this isn’t what you thought it was going to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has liked the story so far. I love reading the comments and enjoy them very much. Hope you liked this chapter.


	13. Into the War Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You walked into the room and immediately regretted putting on a sweater that morning. The room was full of different world leaders, the U.S. President, the Prime Minister of Australia, Federal Chancellor of Germany, Prime Minister of France, Prime Minister of Russia, Prime Minister of Japan and the President of Brazil. The other end of the table was full of different First Order officers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, the next few chapters get fairly political.
> 
> None of the world leaders are mentioned specifically by name only by title and are rather generic (aka old privileged men). As to not date the fic too much.
> 
> I feel like there are important political points that need to be made, as the First Order takes over.

You walked into the room and immediately regretted putting on a sweater that morning. The room was full of different world leaders, the U.S. President, the Prime Minister of Australia, Federal Chancellor of Germany, Prime Minister of France, Prime Minister of Russia, Prime Minister of Japan and the President of Brazil. The other end of the table was full of different First Order officers, General Hux saw that you had entered with Kylo, “Can we get a chair for Lady Ren?” And one of the suited staff members scurried and brought one to him.

The General moved down a spot, Kylo seated himself at the head of the table and you sat next to him. At the other end of the table sat the U.S. President. You felt as if you just stepped into a war room. 

The U.S. President asked, “Are we to resume?”

“Refresh my memory as to what we were discussing,” said Kylo.

“We were discussing how to best handle the riots that are happening in Paris, then the once in Hong-Kong, and the ones here in the U.S.,” said the Federal Chancellor of Germany. 

“Yes, what is currently being done now,” Kylo asked, probably for your benefit more than anything. 

“Currently we have a hold on all news media and social media around the world. We have stopped government benefits in the area, areas are on lockdown and there is local military involvement,” said the Prime Minister of Australia. 

You spoke up, “Why are they rioting?” And all eyes turned to you. The other end of the table was silent.

“Answer her question,” you could hear the harsh demand coming from the vocoder beside you. 

“The people don’t want First Order occupation,” said the Prime Minister of France. 

“What are they demanding then,” asked General Hux. 

At this, the Prime Minister of France and the Federal Chancellor of Germany shared a worried look before the Prime Minister of France looked at you quickly before saying, “The people of France are calling the First Order Nazis.”

The Prime Minister of Japan also spoke, “The people of Hong-Kong are calling the First Order a Mao regime.”

A First Order officer who you didn’t know asked, “Why? Is that a problem?”

Your eyes flicked to her as she spoke. Knowing the answer. “It is, the people will never trust the First Order if they keep thinking like this. Unless you want all the First Order in Paris to be guillotined you have to move carefully.”

She looked shocked at your answer, but it was General Hux that spoke first, “These Nazis, what did they do?”

You weren’t prepared to give an in-depth WWII history lesson, so you said simply, “They tried to occupy most of Europe through military gain, for 12 years. They killed over 17 million people during that time. They tried to systematically exterminate an entire race of people and ultimately failed. They are one of the most hated groups of people to have ever walked the Earth.”

“And Mao,” asked another officer you did not know.

“During his 27-year reign, he killed around 40-80 million people in China. Starvation, prison labor, and mass execution to name a few. Although he helped build modern China, he and his regime were extremists. Mao is more controversial than the Nazis as some praise him for his resurgence of China’s world power. But the First Order should take both of their comparisons as insults if you want to move forward.”

The room fell silent to your answer. You could tell the world leaders were doing their best to please the First Order, but the people were retaliating and some in large numbers. Something would have to be done in order to maintain peace.

Kylo asked, “what would you suggest that we do in order?” He took your hand in his, even through the mask you could tell his attention was solely on you. 

You thought about your answer for a minute. “You need to gain their trust somehow. _Panem et Circenses_ or something. Give them something they want. Give them some semblance of power. I don’t know how to do it per se, but something would have to be done to avoid a Les Miserables style ending.”

“Bread and Circuses, that is what you are suggesting,” asked Prime Minister of Russia. “Or power, you are contradicting yourself.” He seemed a bit annoyed that you were here.

Kylo’s grip on your hand tightened as his head snapped toward the man who just questioned you.

You answered before he did, “I cannot answer that for sure, I believe the people in France will want power as do the people in Hong-Kong, the Americans may be swayed with some sort of entertainment. I don’t know, have whatever public executions happen here, or give them someone else to hate. They are used to feeling like the best people in the world and now that patriotism and pride are stripped from them. Something needs to be done. I don’t have all the answers.”

Kylo then spoke, “I would keep your thoughts to yourself Prime Minister and I would think twice before addressing her in that matter—even in your head.”

This made the Prime Minister go wide-eyed with fear. 

Thoughts, what about his thoughts? Certainly, Kylo couldn’t read minds, could he? You were broken away from your questions by him saying, “We will form a civilian consortium and allow them to give input on the way things are run in these local areas. I will have officers and local government officials heading the councils. We may have to adjust timelines for education and registration within these areas. Give them the hope of peace and control. I agree that public executions should be localized to one area. Shall we say the steps of the Capitol building? We should control the media as to not let problematic areas witness these executions until it has been deemed safe.”

Everyone was silent. You wondered how many hours they had been deliberating this before you stepped into the room. Hux was the first to speak, “That is an excellent plan Supreme Leader and Lady Ren.” The rest of the First Order officers nodded and clapped in agreement. “Shall I execute an order now?” 

“Yes, and we will pause before our next meeting so that those who need to collect their thoughts may do so,” Kylo said pointedly at the Russian Prime Minister. 

With that he stood as did you, he took your arm once again and you left to go back to the red sitting room. 

Kylo removed his helmet, and you watched him take a deep breath before turning to face you. His face was stoic, but there was something wild in his eyes. He was trying to take control of his breathing.

“Kylo, is everything alright?”

He removes his glove and takes your hand; he seems to calm down. He led you to sit down, this time side by side holding hands. He then gently takes off his other gloves with his teeth. Moves your hand to his lap and runs his fingers over his name on your wrist. He is lost in a trance, just slowly tracing his name—letter by letter. Again and again, it seemed like time had stopped. 

“I won’t let them treat you like that. I won’t let them think of you like that,” he said, barely above a breath.

“What do you mean? What do they think of me?” You were worried now.

Kylo looks back up into your eyes. The wildness was back. He swallowed before saying, “They treat you as if you are below them when you are above everyone. The Russian Prime Minister thinks you are…” His voice dies, he is struggling to say it.

“What does he think of me Kylo,” you ask now placing your other hand over the one that is tracing his name. 

“He thinks that you are just some plaything that I brought in for my amusement, nothing more than a harlot who pleases me.” He was shaking, a tear slips past, and his resolve broken.

You reach up and wipe the tear from his face. He holds his breath at the touch. He moves into the caress and you hear a whimper. 

“But you and I know the truth. Why does it matter what he thinks,” you ask still holding a hand to his face. 

He looks at you, his willpower returning as a fire is set in his eyes. “Because he doesn’t even deserve to look at you, let alone think about you.”

“What do you mean think about me? How do you know what he thinks about me?” 

His willpower seemed to crack at this question. “I can hear him, through the Force. It’s like he projects them—his thoughts of you. He wants you, but he can’t have you.”

Your eyes widen at this. Shocked at the fact that he could read thoughts, possibly your thoughts. “I thought the Jedi use the Force.”

“I was trained as one of them once. Now I know better,” He paused, the fire still in his eyes. “He is thinking of you right now. Vulgar, disgusting things. He doesn’t know who you are. Who you are to me, who you are to them. He wants to use you, in the way he thinks that I do as a slut.” The last word came out choked. He was angry and shaking.

Your thumb caressed his cheek. You flung yourself into his arms. He held you tightly to him. In his chest, you said, “Like you said, he can’t have me. I told you before. Yesterday when we were in this room, I will stay with you.”

His face was buried in your hair. His labored breath became deeper. He held you as if the universe was going to rip you out of his arms at any moment. You stayed like that for a while before you separated. One of his hands now caressing your face. It felt like deja vu. The same position from yesterday. The man in front of you was broken, you were determined to fix him—to mend him.

“As much as I would love to stay like this for eternity, we need to get back to the next meeting,” he said while his thumb ghosted over your cheekbone down to your lip. He let go and started to put his gloves back on. And then his helmet, he stood and once again took your arm under his as you marched back into what you nicknamed the war room. Ready for battle. 


	14. Dirty Politics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entering the war room once again, everyone shifted uncomfortably as you two entered. Kylo’s demeanor shifted into one of strength and power, with underlying tones of anger. You took your seats once more ready to begin. Kylo now held your hand above the table as a silent way to dare anyone in the room to disrespect you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reiteration, none of the government officials are based off a specific real person. They are all old privileged men. I do not want to date this fic in that way. I am trying to base their political standings off of the majority of their country's beliefs. They are not progressive, but they are harshly conservative.

Entering the war room once again, everyone shifted uncomfortably as you two entered. Kylo’s demeanor shifted into one of strength and power, with underlying tones of anger. You took your seats once more ready to begin. Kylo now held your hand above the table as a silent way to dare anyone in the room to disrespect you. 

“Shall we begin,” asked Hux. 

Kylo nodded in response.

“The _Finalizer_ will arrive late tonight, early tomorrow morning to help with the demands of registration and the health regime. Currently, we need to help evaluate an addition to the education system to increase overall hygiene here on the surface,” said Hux.

With this Prime Minister of Australia scoffed, “our people are not unclean, I think the First Order is overstepping its bounds with telling people how to clean themselves.”

“Currently over 700 million people are living in extreme poverty. 8.9* percent of your population are defecating in non-hygienic places, unvaccinated children are on the rise in your first world countries, are just but a few issues the Earth has with health,” said a male first order officer. “Does this not concern you that almost one-seventh of the world’s population is without almost any health care? That disease may spread overnight?” 

“Sub-Saharan Africa and the poor areas of Asia are not my concern,” said the Australian Prime Minister.

“Were you not asked to help represent all the governments of your world,” asked General Hux, daring the prime minister to defy him. 

“Yes, the prime minister did agree to that,” said the Chancellor of Germany. 

“The U.S. government’s own Centers for Disease Control reported that 35 percent of women and 69 percent of men do not wash their hands after using the restroom.* A basic hygiene principle that is shared across the galaxy. Obviously, Earth does need education on hygiene as it would help stop any of these outbreaks that you have been known to have,” said another female officer.

The Prime Minister of Russia scoffed, “we are not unclean.”

“I don’t believe they were suggesting you were unclean, but that the majority of Earth was unclean,” you replied.

“There is also the discussion of reproductive health, all First Order planets have adequate birth control and access to feminine hygiene products. Which we can see from the data, your planet seems to be lacking in all these areas and will need to be justified,” said the female officer.

“Birth control and feminine hygiene product? Now this is ridiculous,” said the U.S. President. “There will be no need for the First Order being involved in that. Besides, periods are not an important medical issue.”

This made you a bit angry, but fortunately enough for the President, it was General Hux who spoke first, “The First Order merely wants those who would like these products to be able to receive them.” 

“Yes, and I suppose you want our women to become common First Order whores with this access to birth control,” asked the almost now enraged Russian Prime Minister. Staring directly at you.

This conversation made your blood boil. He was now insinuating exactly what he was thinking earlier about you. Kylo’s grip on your hand tightened. You could hear him snort through the vocoder, “Certainly your wife will be of no use to us, but a healthy self-controlled population is necessary. After all, I believe it is also common here on Earth that you are born from women, and I believe you have not advanced enough for the use of clones.”

With this statement, the Russian Prime Minister stood up, enraged. “What you do with your ha-” he wasn’t able to complete his sentence before he was grabbing at an invisible hand around his neck, choking the air out of him. All eyes on him. 

General Hux next to you turned to Kylo pleaded, “Supreme Leader, I might suggest that you release him. It would not look good to the Russian people if you killed their prime minister and they are not a country we can afford not to be cooperative.”

You turned to Kylo, desperate to find his eyes through his mask as he turns to you. “Release him.” In an instant, the prime minister dropped to the floor, gasping for air. The U.S. President and Australian Prime Minister helping him back into his seat. All the government officials in the room looked terrified.

You had no idea what just happened. You didn’t really know how Kylo did what he did, but that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that he did it in the first place. Before you could speak, Kylo addressed the room. 

“You and your people will follow the will of the First Order, my will as Supreme Leader. I will leave health decisions to a committee that I have designated. They will bring forward their proposals and I will either approve or disapprove of them from there. This discussion and meeting are over. See to it during tomorrow’s meetings that you all control yourselves or there will be consequences for your people,” and with that, he stood, and he leads you to stand as well. He guided you out the door without another word. You did not stop at the red sitting room again, instead, he led you out of the White House and into his command shuttle. 

You sat down and before you could even start to buckle yourself he was doing it for you. You could feel the silent pent up anger radiating off of him. He barked a harsh order to the pilot to take you back to the _Steadfast._

The ride up was in total silence, but he took your hand in his once more. Once you docked, he was quick to unbuckle you both. Quickly guiding you both through the hangar and down the halls, not stopping for the official salute. You quickly found him leading you not to his chambers but to the room that he had shown you. The door quickly opened, and you two rushed in. Before the door could completely shut, his helmet was off and tossed to the side, making a loud thud against the durasteel. 

Kylo’s back was against the star side windows—sitting. His face in one hand and the other holding itself out to you. His breathing was labored again. You feared what was behind his eyes. 

You took his hand, and he pulled you down into him. His face buried in your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around you—he was holding back a sob. Your hand found its way into his hair as the other to his lower back. You began to rub circles trying to calm him.

“Kylo,” you said softly.

He was looking at you now, “I am a monster, don’t you see? You shouldn’t stay with me, or you will get hurt too.”

“What was it that you said before? The Force brought me to you, why would I leave if it chose me for you?” This time you tucked yourself into his chest, refusing to move. 

After a few minutes, his breathing calmed, and he wound a gloved hand in your hair, holding you to him. “I’m sorry.”

You tilted your head up to meet his eyes. “Whoever hurt you before doesn’t matter. I am here; let me help you. Whether it’s to keep your temper in check, helping with work, or anything else, that is why I am here.” You place a hand over his heart and one of his joins yours. 

“I had to protect you. I have to protect you, do you understand? Without you, I will self destruct. Taking everyone with me,” said Kylo while placing a hand under your chin. His thumb ghosting over your cheek.

“I know, but thoughts can’t harm me, only actions can. Defend me against actions. I like that you are trying to be a knight in shining armor, but I am also a big girl who can handle herself. Especially against gross old men. When their thoughts turn into actions, then you can swoop in and save me.” You tucked yourself back into his chest. You both just sat there while time seemed to stop. 

“I need you by my side helping me with Earth. The politicians are stubborn and archaic. It’s a large planet with a big population. The biggest the First Order has conquered yet, but your people are unhealthy and uneducated,” said Kylo finally. 

“Why don’t we go and try to figure out some of this together. I know you said you were going to appoint a committee, why don’t we try to do that now. Get it out of the way, and relieve some stress,” you suggested. 

Kylo simply nodded. You stood up, and so did he. He pulled you back to his chest once more and buried his face in your hair. You stood like that for several moments before he separated from you. He retrieved his helmet and once again you were off into the winding halls of the _Steadfast._

You reach a room you have never been to. Once inside, it was a large empty conference room. Kylo walked over to one of the computer panels on the wall and started typing in commands. 

“We will wait for the generals and officers to come back, in the meantime you and I will eat lunch.”

A droid appeared with plates of food, and you and Kylo ate lunch in the conference room. Once finished the droid took everything back. 

A junior officer entered the room and informed you that the generals and officers would be here shortly as their shuttle had just arrived. Moments later they filed through the door, quickly taking seats and seemingly ready for a bomb to go off. 

“We are going to discuss the health regime committee first and then I believe we should discuss other areas of education. The earth is a mess with citizen on citizen violence that will be stopped,” said Kylo.

“Well, the hygiene committee will be something easy to tackle. Mostly it should be filled with First Order medical staff, someone from the CDC, and the WHO. Unlike the politicians, I believe that average citizens and the Earth’s medical professionals will agree with a better health campaign,” you said.

“When the _Finalizer_ docks tonight I can ask their chief medical officer to put together a group of nurses and doctors from both ships to start the committee,” said General Hux.

“Inform them that a visual campaign will help, videos, and posters. Literally everywhere. Children will be the easiest to influence, adults will be harder,” you said. 

The officers were noting your comments. “This CDC and WHO are reputable,” asked General Pryde. 

“Yes, unfortunately, most of the time people only listen to them when there is an E. coli outbreak in lettuce and not when it comes to washing hands and receiving vaccines. But I digress at the ignorance that is my own people,” you replied.

“So they will understand the need that we have for making this planet healthy? That the citizens must be healthy,” asked another officer.

“Yes, as far as I am aware, doctors on my planet take oaths to health and the safety of patients and potential patients. They also will believe in the science behind it, when given facts and studies. I have yet to meet a doctor that doesn’t want their patients to bathe regularly, to receive vaccinations, to have regular checkups. That is something doctors want,” you said. 

“General Hux will inform the chief medical officer of the Finalizer of what is to happen. Tomorrow the committee will be formed before 10:00 hours and will by the end of the day have a start to a more solid campaign,” said Kylo.

He then turned to you and asked, “Will you help with the health committee?”

“Yes,” you respond.

“Supreme Leader, we must also be aware that there must be an education started once all registration is completed. As of now we have currently completed the registration of 27% of the population has been registered to date and 98% of the registered have started their education process,” said General Hux.

“Yes, behavioral education along with the standard education must be important. We should hold off for two or three days to see where the health education committee is, that can always be put as a main focus to then share a behavioral one,” said Kylo.

The mention of behavioral training piqued your interest. What need was there for behavior training? And what would it involve? Public health was something you were comfortable sharing, but if Kylo could read minds what would happen in this behavioral training. You silently hoped you would be able to shape or sway this. If you learned anything from movies, an overpowered government did not allow freedom, and freedom of thought was the most important thing you could think of. 

“But I would like General Pryde to investigate what already might be available for behavioral training education at the main library in the U.S.-” Kylo turned to you to help answer.

“The Library of Congress,” you supplied. 

“Yes, the Library of Congress. There should be something there worth our time.” With that Kylo dismissed the officers before you were left alone General Hux approached you. 

“Here is your dog tags my lady. They will grant you access all over any First Order ship and if you happen to be separated from the Supreme Leader, it will grant him the ability to find you,” and with that he handed you a set of angular looking dog tags that had a visible tracker chip and circuitry on the back. He soon left. You were now alone again with Kylo.

[ ](https://prowritingaid.com/en/Appclick/webeditor/App/Office) [ ](https://prowritingaid.com/en/Appclick/webeditor/App/Office) [ ](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/prowritingaid/npnbdojkgkbcdfdjlfdmplppdphlhhcf) [ ](https://cdn.prowritingaid.com/browserextension/pwa-extension.xpi) [ ](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/prowritingaid/npnbdojkgkbcdfdjlfdmplppdphlhhcf) [ ](https://prowritingaid.com/en/Appclick/webeditor/App/Desktop) [](https://prowritingaid.com/en/Appclick/webeditor/App/Desktop) [](https://prowritingaid.com/en/Appclick/webeditor/App/GoogleDocs)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *CDC SOURCE: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4504379/


	15. Forcing Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his helmet off you could see the light blush that dusted across his face. He made his way to his bedroom while you sat on the couch. You closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of the morning now hitting you. You felt the cushion shift with extra weight. You opened your eyes and turned your head. Kylo was now in a black long-sleeved sweater and his pants were not the heavy leather ones from earlier, they were almost sweatpants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being a bit late, I needed to put away groceries.

  
Kylo leads you down the halls to your shared chamber. The main room was no longer empty, it featured a loveseat and coffee table with two large armchairs opposite of them.   
  
“I was informed by General Hux that you may enjoy a sitting room in the co-living space as it is normal on Earth,” said Kylo. “I also have rather enjoyed the red sitting room at the White House.”

“I do like to curl up on the couch before going to bed sometimes,” you replied. “I also think it’s very sweet that you did this.”

With his helmet off you could see the light blush that dusted across his face. He made his way to his bedroom while you sat on the couch. You closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of the morning now hitting you. You felt the cushion shift with extra weight. You opened your eyes and turned your head. Kylo was now in a black long-sleeved sweater and his pants were not the heavy leather ones from earlier, they were almost sweatpants.

“Tired,” he asks you.

“A bit, this morning was a lot. I don’t know how you do it,” you responded.

“It would have been easier if I had my temper under control,” he responded.

“No, stop thinking like that. It was fine, but you never explained to me how you did it. Was it the Force,” you asked.

“Yes, it was the Force.”

You sat up, “what else can you do?”

This question startled him. He paused for a moment before answering, “the force is like a web that surrounds all things. It connects us all with these invisible strings. I can manipulate those strings. I can bring an object closer to me or farther away. Lift something larger than I can physically lift. I can sense things and read minds, I can alter someone’s reality and make myself undetectable to living things. And more, but those are the basics.”

“So superpowers, you have superpowers.”

With this you heard him truly laugh for the first time, it was a beautiful sound that you wish would never stop.

“I guess you could call it that, but I’m sure there would be many people who would call me a supervillain rather than a superhero.”

“Well, a villain is a hero in his own story and vice versa. So until history is written, which is written by the victors, you have no idea what you are.”

With this, he bashfully smirked and ducked his head while playing with his ungloved hands. This was the most naturally relaxed you have ever seen him. But that wasn’t saying much as you only met him yesterday. He grabbed your hand again. He seemed to like doing that. 

“So how are you able to use the Force? Like can everyone use it or just special people,” you ask.

“Midi-chlorians,” he said simply. “Everyone has them, but there needs to be a certain amount in a person to be able to manipulate the Force. My grandfather’s midi-chlorian count was over 20,000, highest in galactic history.* My guess is if you haven’t been able to move an object with your mind before you won’t be able to.” 

This was the first time he ever mentioned his family, probably for a good reason so you didn’t question it. “So no superpowers for me.”

He laughed again, “no, no superpowers for you, but the good news is I have enough for the both of us.”

At this, you smiled. Thinking that you were going to be his Lois Lane to his Superman, or his Peggy Carter to his Steve Rogers. This made you happy and warm all over. He flipped your hand over and began running his fingers over his name again. 

“Well, I suppose I will have to live with that,” you said. This made him chuckle. You would do anything for that sound.

After a few moments had passed he asked, “is there anything you would like to do?”

You thought for a moment and an idea popped in your head. “I know you changed, but how about you take me flying?”

He perked up at this idea, “That sounds like fun to me. Just let me change again before we head to the hangar. You should also put on a jacket or something.”

With that, you both headed up the stairs to your respective rooms. You grabbed your fall jacket from your closet hoping you didn’t need your winter one. You looked at your phone which was now dead after not being plugged in. You wondered if Kylo could get someone to charge it for you. You left your room still looking at your phone, “Kylo do you think you could find someone to charge this for me?” You look up and saw him.

Kylo was shirtless and was finishing pulling up his pants over his boxer briefs. He turned to look at you. You could feel the heat rushing to your face as you immediately regretted walking in on his privacy. Walking over to you still shirtless, you could see beauty marks and scars littering his wide sculpted chest. He took your phone in his hands and said, “I’ll have Hux look into it.”  
  
While still blushing you nodded your head and scurried down the stairs to the sitting room. You weren’t a virgin, but it has been a while since you were that close to a shirtless man that you would possibly be considered romantic with. You were out of practice. A few moments later Kylo appeared fully dressed and was putting on his helmet. You took control of yourself once more and took his arm as he leads you to the hangar.

There he leads you to his TIE Silencer. He opened the hatch and sat down. You now realized that there was only one seat. Before you could even say something, Kylo pulled you into his lap, manhandling you into position. He shut the hatch with the Force and removed his helmet. Still, in shock, you didn’t move. He started the lift-off sequence, and you were off in a matter of seconds. 

You were now fully aware of the position you were in, but quickly became distracted by the stars. You were mesmerized by the vastness of it all. Kylo flew closer to the moon, and you had to keep yourself from pressing up against the windshield at the awesomeness that you were beholding. 

“Would you like to fly,” he asked. You could feel him shifting his legs under you slightly, trying to remain comfortable with you on his lap.

“Can I,” you ask excitedly. 

He started to manhandle you into a more comfortable position for him, placing you more in between his legs rather than sitting directly on his lap. He took your hands in his and placed them on the steering handles, his large hands engulfing yours. You could feel the leather heating up to your hands. The metal of the handles were rough in an intentional grip fashion. 

He quickly went over the controls. For the first few minutes afterward, he kept his hands on yours. When he felt that you were comfortable with the controls, he kept his right hand on yours, but his left hand moved to your thigh. It stayed there for several minutes while you were flying around your solar system. You eventually started to feel it make its way to your belly, resting above your pelvic bone. 

You felt Kylo shift his hips behind you. He pulled you closer to him with his left hand. Your back was now completely resting against his chest and abdomen. You felt his nose brush up against your right ear. Forgetting about the stars, you were lost at the feeling of him. Unconsciously you removed your left hand from the handle and placed it over his. You were fine for a few minutes, but then the Silencer began to list. Kylo quickly removed your right hand from the handle and resumed control. 

“Sorry,” you said.

“It’s fine,” he responded, sounding as if he just woke up. His hips shifted again. This time you could feel them dig into your butt as they did. “Why don’t I show you something.”

In an instant, the ship gained lots of speed. Your hands clutched to Kylo’s thighs as you felt as if any moment you would fly out of the ship if you didn’t hold on. 

He did a bunch of tricks and spirals that took your breath away. Breathlessly you said, “Wow.”

You heard him chuckle once more. And his hips shifted again, this time it took a few seconds for him to settle down. “You liked that?”

“That was amazing! Of course, I liked it.” You turn around to face him, noticing his blush. You were heading back into the hanger, but he could not stop fidgeting the whole way back. You enter the hanger once again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wookieepedia, Anakin Skywalker


	16. An Uncomfortable Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were also several missed calls from your mother and several texts asking if you were too busy to give your weekly scheduled phone call. You completely forgot about it, the last two days you barely had your wits about you. You sat on the loveseat and shot Kylo a looking while saying, “I need to call my parents, I missed my call with them yesterday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @sunrow for helping point out a mistake in Chapter 1! I appreciate it as it makes my writing better.

You walked back to your chambers; you were getting used to being lead by Kylo now. You both changed into more comfortable clothing this time around. 

There was a knock on the door. This time instead of putting on his helmet he just granted permission to enter. General Hux entered with your phone in his hand. “I believe this is now fully modified so it will not need to be charged for the foreseeable future, I also installed software. Your phone is now a mini datapad,” said the general.

You got excited. “Will I still be able to make calls and texts?”

The general nodded and replied. “Now from anywhere in the galaxy. I also took the liberty of canceling your phone plan as you have no use for it with the upgrades.”

With this, you were a bit shocked but excited nonetheless. “Thank you, General Hux! I appreciate it.” With that, the general gave you a small smile, turned to Kylo, and shared a small nod and left. 

“I suppose I should thank you too,” you said to Kylo. 

He just bashfully blushed and “You’re welcome.”

You opened your phone and saw that there was a new folder of apps on your phone titled _First Order._ You opened the folder and scanned through the apps, there was a messaging app, an app that had education documents, one that had schematics of the _Steadfast_ , one that had a map of the galaxy, a food ordering one, a scheduling app, and official documents one. 

You then went over to your messaging app and saw that there were messages from Carter and Hayden asking when you when you can get together again. There were also several missed calls from your mother and several texts asking if you were too busy to give your weekly scheduled phone call. You completely forgot about it, the last two days you barely had your wits about you. You sat on the loveseat and shot Kylo a looking while saying, “I need to call my parents, I missed my call with them yesterday.”

As you said this there were several emotions that crossed his face in a matter of seconds, none of which you could exactly pinpoint. “Would you like me to leave,” he asked. His face was now one devoid of emotion, as was his tone. 

This confused you for a moment, wondering what just happened, “Actually, I was wondering if you would sit with me. Speaking to them can be tense for me sometimes. Especially now, because I failed to call them yesterday. I also would like for you to help me figure out to explain this,” you say gesturing to between the two of you. “I don’t know what I can say to them, or my friends either.”

Kylo’s face again was a roulette of emotions. He nodded and sat next to you, “What did you already tell your friends?”

“I told them that you were a high-ranking officer in the First Order. I didn’t know what you would allow me to say, so I thought that might be a good option to go with before telling them that you are the Supreme Leader.”

Kylo nodded at this. He chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment before responding, “I think that is what we should go with for now. No one on your planet actually knows what I look like. And the only people who know who you are to me are either First Order personnel or the government officials, who if they would like to keep their lives, will not speak of it.”

The death threat of the officials took you by surprise for a moment before you reminded yourself that he had choked the Russian Prime Minister earlier that day. The man sitting right next to you was still a mystery. He seemed to be gentle with you when you were alone, but he was someone to be feared the moment he had his helmet on. It scared you, but it also intrigued you. You know that some of knowing him would come naturally with time, but some of the layers you would probably have to work at pealing away. 

He could see the worried look that was etched across your face and he took your hand in his. You then just nodded and asked, “So I will tell them that you are a high-ranking officer and that there were some complications to me being able to contact them yesterday?”

Kylo just nodded. You could see in his eyes that there was a layer of worry. While his face wasn’t always expressive, his eyes were. They held all of his emotions in a swirl of deep brown, while his face at times was completely devoid of emotion. 

“Ok, just to let you know that my mother might be unhappy for a bit because I wasn’t able to call. She will also most likely talk a lot about my siblings and will probably control the conversation. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to, but I will put it on speaker for you so you can hear,” you told him. 

He just nodded in response before asking, “So she won’t be able to see me?”

“Not unless you want me to video chat her, but that is something I try to avoid at all costs. She either makes a comment about my appearance or if in the off chance one of my siblings is there, she will just show off my nieces and nephews. So I would like to avoid that,” when you mentioned your mother criticizing your appearance Kylo glanced at you, his eyes quickly assessed your appearance and overall just looked confused. He just didn’t understand your mother. But he stayed silent and just nodded in response. 

You called your mother and set your phone on the coffee table in front of you. She picked up and immediately started to talk, “Honey? Thank goodness, if you aren’t going to call, the least you could do is text us. With this whole First Order thing, your father and I have been immensely worried, you know. Hold on, I’ll get your father up here.” You could hear her call your father’s name in the background several times before informing you that the phone had been put on speaker. 

Your father started to speak, “You’ve registered, haven’t you? I’ve heard rumors about non-citizens trying to register out of the country and it hasn’t been good. Your mother and I registered this morning. As have your oldest brother and kids and your sister and her kids. Your brother hasn’t registered yet. He’s a bit paranoid with it all, you know? Believes that this whole thing is World War Three in the making. But your oldest brother was offered a job with the First Order, to help set up public information squares all over the state, a big job too. The squares will have screens for public addresses and other things. They are a big deal, you know.”

Before you could even respond your mother started to speak again, “Of course your other brother got a good contract with them. Your sister has also been a part of registering with her job at the county. She has said she prefers registering people verses dealing with the criminal court cases, but she says that there is a rumor going around that the First Order is evaluating our prison system and that it doesn’t sound good for law-abiding citizens. But then again, they seem to be making big controlling policies. But you still haven’t explained why you weren’t able to call us. So tell us, why didn’t you call yesterday? You aren’t in trouble, are you?”

Finally, they paused, giving a chance for you to speak. Kylo’s body was tenser than normal sitting next to you. You briefly share eye contact before you responded, “No, I’m not in trouble. I was able to register yesterday, but there was a slight hold up. I am matched to a high ranking First Order officer and was flown out to D.C. I haven’t been able to call because I was just now given the opportunity to.”

You could hear your mother huff on the other side of the phone, “So, this Ben or is it Kylo I don’t even remember, is a high-ranking officer? So I assume he will be taking you to god know’s where when this is all done with.” When your mother mentioned Ben’s name you could see Kylo visibly stiffen even more than he was already. His other hand that wasn’t holding yours balled up in a tightly clenched fist. You had yet to ask who Ben was to him, you had heeded Captain Canady’s advice to not mention it. 

“We haven’t discussed that yet mother, currently I am still getting to know him. But in the meantime, I am still going to be here on earth. But to answer your next question I will be going with him to wherever he gets stationed, yes. I do not plan on being separated from him,” you responded a bit hurt by her accusatory tone. Kylo was sitting right next to you, but he had yet to make it clear on if you were to tell her or acknowledge that he was he with you. 

“I see, so you match wants to be romantic then,” she asked again pausing so you could respond.

You glanced at Kylo. Holding eye contact, he nodded. You took this response as an answer to two questions. Her’s and the one that you had about acknowledged that he was even here. “Yes, so far he would like it to be a romantic match, but I only just met him yesterday. He has also been very busy with his duties so I haven’t spent much time with him,” that last part was a partial lie, he was very busy but he was making as much time as he could for you. 

Your father spoke next, “Don’t tell him about your brother and his worries. He doesn’t need betrayal from the family. But as for your oldest brother can you see if he could have longer contact with the First Order. He mentioned that it was a good one, but he may be able to move up in ‘ranks’ if you put in a good word for him.”

You sat back for a moment. Your father really just told you to withhold possibly important information from Kylo, who was sitting right next to you and hearing it all, anyway. And he had just asked you to put in a good word for your overachieving oldest brother, who if he did his work right would do just fine with the First Order. The same older brother who refused to help get you a job when you graduated from college. 

“I don’t know if I can do that. But I can tell you that (second oldest brother) should register as it is important for the safety of his family. I can tell you that the consequences of refusing to do so are grievous. Also, I have to take my and my match’s safety into account. If he refuses to get registered and is in hiding, I will not and cannot protect him. It would have been better if you never even told me,” you were just not having any of their favoritism bullshit. Yes, Kylo was the Supreme Leader and could do whatever he wanted, but that beside the point. You were not going to lie to protect your brother if he was going to do something stupid. Yes, you loved him but you had just met Kylo and you didn’t know if this was something you could ask for.

Your mother just huffed in frustration, “well you could try. He is still going to register and follow all the rules. He just doesn’t like them.”

“Good. It would be a good thing that you all do too.”

“Of course,” your dad responded.

“Drinking the Kool-aid already,” your mother remarked. 

You honestly didn’t know how to respond to your parent’s antics. You weren’t surprised they were speaking to you this way. “I have to go now,” you said being exhausted with this phone call already. 

“Let us know when you can call again,” asked your dad.

“I don’t know when that will be, but I will call when I call,” you said. Kylo squeezed your hand. You said your goodbyes, and you ended the call. 

You and Kylo both sat in silence before you shook your head, trying to calm yourself and keep yourself from crying.

They hadn’t even really asked about him, they really only talked about your siblings, like always. You know you wouldn’t be able to tell them much, but you had hoped they would have been at least happy for you. They know that you had been worried about your match the moment Ben’s name started to fade and when Kylo’s had appeared. They also knew you were worried when his name wasn’t in the database.

You felt Kylo’s arms wrap around you; he pulled you into his lap and buried his face in your hair. His large hand was rubbing circles into your back and the other was petting your hair. You were worked up emotionally. He started telling you that everything would be alright, that nothing bad was going to happen, and that he would keep you safe. You rested your head on his chest. His heartbeat sounded like the most beautiful symphony that you had ever heard. You were safe; you were cared for; you were protected. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to make comments on the story as it helps me stay motivated and generate ideas. I love reading them and responding to them.


	17. Spaceflix and Chill?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo once again did not allow you to hold the data pad yourself but allowed you to scroll through the app. None of the titles of the videos were ones that you were familiar with. Almost as if you were scrolling in some foreign version of Netflix. Luckily there were genres you were familiar with; comedy, drama, horror, documentary, sci-fi and finally romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at home again so there should not be any interruptions to posting. Thanks everyone for your patience!

Sitting in his lap, against his chest, this was the first time you really admired the strength that you could feel. His arms were strong, his chest was broad. From what you could remember from earlier today when you had caught him shirtless, you remembered all the toned muscles you saw. The man holding you was a mountain of strength and compared to him; you felt as if you were an anthill made of sand. Small and easily destroy, whereas it would take an act of god to break him. 

You had no idea how long you two had been sitting like that, but you were hungry. But before you could voice this, your phone dinged with your text alert sound. You struggled but managed to reach it from Kylo’s lap. 

It was your brother. ‘Please don’t mention anything to your match, I promise that we are going to register tomorrow.’ 

And another one came through from your oldest brother, ‘Mom mentioned that your match is a high ranking First Order officer. If he has anything to do with communication or engineering could you put in a good word for me?’ 

Of course, they only ever spoke to you at family functions or if they needed/didn’t want something. You remember when they had met their matches, how happy you had been for them, and how their matches felt like more of siblings to you than they did. It hurt that the first time they knew that you had met Kylo, that they didn’t congratulate you.

You were just done. Done with everything and you just wanted to finally be happy. Kylo removed your phone from your hand and put it back on the coffee table. He drew you back to his chest once again. This time you swore you could feel him kiss the top of your head before he buried his face in your hair once again. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said finally. 

You felt conflicted, you should ‘put in’ a good word for your brother, especially if your match with Kylo were to ever to become public. You also felt that you should tell Kylo to ignore your (second oldest brother)’s worries. But at the same time, you felt wronged by your family. 

“Can you see if there is a way that you can favor my oldest brother without seeming too obvious about it,” you asked. “And ignore my other brother, I believe that he will do the right thing. His kids don’t deserve punishment for his stupid actions if it comes to it.”

Kylo searched your eyes for a moment before nodding. At least he was willing to do this, but you didn’t know if it was because you had asked, or if it was because he felt sorry for you. You honestly weren’t in the mood to find out. 

“Can we have dinner soon,” you asked finally. “This day has me wiped.”

Kylo nodded, and with a smile, he stuck out his hand. You saw his datapad fly across the room and into his hand. You were in shock. He had a small smile on his face. You turned around on his lap so your back was to him, but you were facing the datapad. You saw that he pulled up the food ordering app. 

“Pick out what you would like,” he said. His breath tickling the top of your head. 

You scrolled through it. He was still holding it. It felt oddly intimate, you in his lap with his datapad in his hand, but you were on it. You found some food that intrigued you and you put it in your order. “What would you like to eat,” you asked. 

Into your hair, he said simply, “order for me.”

You felt a jolt of excitement. He chuckled, noticing your new enthusiasm with the app. You had no idea what he liked; you hadn’t had a chance to ask him. “What do you like,” you asked. 

“I will like anything you order for me,” he said with mirth in his voice. 

You didn’t know how to feel about that. You felt it could be one of three things. The first is that he didn’t care about what he ate at all. The second was that the app only had the food he likes. Or the third option was that he was flirting with you. The last one made you flush slightly. After all, you were sitting in his lap. You decided to ignore it for the moment and made a neutral choice from the app, something you recognized.

Once you placed the order he set the datapad back down and put his arms around you keeping you close. This made you feel some type of way. You felt as if you were there for only a few moments before a droid entered with your food. You reluctantly got up from his lap and made your way to the dining room to eat.

Sneaking a glance at Kylo, you could see he had a slight hint of blush that extended down into his shirt. You wondered briefly how far down the blush went before you dismissed the thought from your mind. 

Although he was your match, there was still so much to know about him before you could let your mind go there. After all, he wasn’t some brief college fling. This was your soulmate—you needed to take this seriously. 

You both ate with a pleasant silence between you. You had no idea and a million ideas about what to talk about. None of the things that came to mind were things that you could properly string into a sentence. Even though you felt comfortable with him you were also uneasy. You felt as if you were an open book but he was some ancient texts lost in translation. You finished what you both eating and returned to the lounge. 

Sitting on the loveseat once again, you were immediately pulled into his arms. He summoned his datapad and told you to pull up a holovid, something that you would want to watch. This perplexed you a bit. 

Kylo once again did not allow you to hold the datapad yourself but allowed you to scroll through the app. None of the titles of the videos were ones that you were familiar with. Almost as if you were scrolling in some foreign version of Netflix. Luckily there were genres you were familiar with; comedy, drama, horror, documentary, sci-fi, and finally romance.

Although he agreed with wanting a romantic relationship earlier on the phone with your parents, you felt as if he was not the romance type. You also didn’t know his brand of comedy, so you stuck with the tried and true sci-fi. You took the chance to look back at him. His head was leaned back against the couch and his eyes were closed. You picked one that seemed interesting to you and immediately the data started projecting a hologram! This startled you a bit and Kylo felt you jolt and sat back up. 

He placed the datapad on the coffee table and placed one hand on your stomach and the other wound its way into your hair. You could tell that he was not at all interested in the movie, but was just content to sit with you. You were happy with this. 

The movie was interesting, to say the least, enough to keep your attention but nothing you would watch again. About halfway through it, you felt the hand on your stomach drift lower and lower. At first, you didn’t mind, but after a while, you could feel a bit of heat pool in your underwear. Before the end of the movie, his hand was in between your legs, thankful you were fully clothed otherwise there might have been a major problem. You also didn’t want to squeeze your thighs shut for fear of calling attention to the problem. 

You quickly glanced back at Kylo. His head was still resting on the couch, his eyes were still closed, but the hand that was in your hair was now just resting on the armrest. You turned your attention back to the movie as something major was happening. You could feel his fingers absentmindedly twitch every so often. This made the heat grow stronger.

The moment the movie ended, you rushed to get up. This was the first time in the better part of two hours that Kylo had seemingly consciously done anything. He made a noise of protest and looked annoyed at the change of your position. But you didn’t stick around long, you rushed to your room and into your bathroom. 

You glanced at yourself in the mirror; you were completely reddened and your pupils were dilated. In an effort to get a hold of yourself you splashed cold water on your face. That seemed to only help your blush, but it did not seem to help the heat in your underwear. You went pee, which helped and washed your hands and splashed water on your face once more. You felt much more normal afterward. You debated whether or not you needed to change, but you thought that might draw unwanted attention to your situation. 

You exited the bathroom and bedroom, joining Kylo in what you now referred to as the living room once more. You sat on the loveseat only to be pulled back into his lap. This frustrated you a bit as you wanted a bit of distance to help your predicament. 

Kylo hooked his chin over your shoulder and asked if you wanted to watch another holovid. Part of you did as you liked the relaxing aspect of watching a movie, but part of you was flustered and knew that it would not be a good idea. With one hand holding the datapad, you now felt his other hand skimming the outside of your thigh, making it difficult to think.

“I actually think I should go to bed, I have the committee meeting early in the morning and I would like to be rested before speaking to people I don’t know,” you said as the introverted person you are. 

You felt the hand that was skimming your outer thigh move to trace the top of your pants. Kylo had put the datapad back on the coffee table and had moved to your upper thigh with its fingertips dangerously too close to your crotch. 

Kylo made a noise of disapproval at your statement of wanting to go to bed. The hand that was on your thigh gripped you tighter and his hips shifting underneath you. It took every fiber of your being to remind you that you had met this man yesterday. And that even though he was your soulmate, you were not going to treat this like any of the flings you had in college. You wanted to know this man, to truly know this.

It was at this point you remembered that he could read minds, and you blushed once more. Did he read your mind earlier in the bathroom or while you were sitting with him during the movie? If he did and was doing so now, he should be able to also tell that sleeping with him right now was not something you were comfortable with, although you really wanted to. You were going to do this right. Whatever this is. 

You moved to get up once more, slightly chanting in your head that you wanted to wait on this. As you did, you felt the hand that had been on your thigh just ghost over your crotch before ultimately letting you go. As you stood you turned your head to look at Kylo, whom you caught in the act at looking at your butt. 

“Goodnight,” you said. 

Clearing his throat, he said, “Goodnight.”

You made your way into your room once more and took a quick cold shower to relieve yourself from any unwanted symptoms. You made a quick thought against touching yourself as you didn’t know if he was still reading your mind. You reminded yourself that you wanted to wait. You changed and crawled into bed, setting an early morning alarm on your newly modified phone. It didn’t take long to drift into sleep. 


	18. Before the Committee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You woke up early to your alarm. Pausing before getting up you relived the events of the last two days. It was a whirlwind, and you wondered if it was always going to be like this. Shaking your head you got out of bed and ready for the day. You wore one of your work ‘uniforms’ as you deemed them more appropriate for the meetings you had ahead of yourself today. You also decided that you should put on some light makeup, as to make a good impression that you took good care in self-grooming. 

You woke up early to your alarm. Pausing before getting up you relived the events of the last two days. It was a whirlwind, and you wondered if it was always going to be like this. Shaking your head, you got out of bed and ready for the day. You wore one of your work ‘uniforms’ as you deemed them more appropriate for the meetings you had ahead of yourself today. You also decided that you should put on some light makeup, as to make a good impression that you took good care in self-grooming. 

When you were finished getting ready, you grabbed your phone and started to head out of your room. You noticed that Kylo was not in his room; you entered the living room and Lieutenant Mitaka was there once again.

“Good morning, m’lady,” said the Lieutenant. 

“Good morning Lieutenant, have you eaten this morning,” you ask while walking to the dining room. 

“Yes, ma’am,” replied the short man. 

“Well, can I order you a cup of coffee or tea? And I am assuming you have been assigned to me again this morning,” you asked. 

“I have been assigned to be your personal assistant of sorts, by the Supreme Leader. And a cup of tea would be most appreciated,” you could see relief cross his face. You reminded yourself that the Kylo that you see is not the Supreme Leader everyone else deals with. 

You ordered from your phone for the first time. Unlike Kylo’s datapad, there seemed to be a long list of Earth foods and there seemed to be a list of your favorite foods in the favorites tab. How Kylo was able to do this you didn’t know, but you were too nervous to ask him.

The droid arrived in a matter of three minutes before you were really able to ask the Lieutenant anything. But you enjoyed your breakfast, and the Mitaka thanked you for the tea. 

“I know I have to be at the Health Committee by around 10. I know I need to arrange for transport. If I could I would like materials sent to me on my phone, about what the First Order’s current health policies are,” as you were saying this Mitaka was typing on his datapad.

“I will have everything sent to you. I can arrange for transport at 0800 hours this morning. I have been informed that the _Finalizer’s_ chief medical officer would like to meet with you before the meeting. He would like you to debrief him on what you and the Supreme Leader have discussed on the subject,” said the lieutenant. You received a notification on your phone informing you that the First Order health regulations documents have been delivered. 

You thanked the lieutenant and saw that the time was only 7 AM. You walked into your room and took out your work tote. You pulled out a notebook and pen and walked back to the living room. You started to make notes on what you were reading. 

Several manuals, the biggest being [‘Field Hygiene and Sanitation.’](https://archive.org/details/FM21-10_201212/page/n14/mode/1up) This seemed very obvious to you. The purpose of the command, which person is responsible for what in terms of their own health. The individual is first and foremost responsible for their own health, then their immediate commander, then the medical/dental officer, then upper chains of command. 

The manual went over personal cleanliness, care of the mouth and teeth, care of the feet, food, and drink, exercise, rest and recreation, protection against the elements, protection against disease-carrying insects, avoidance of the sources of disease, special protective measures, cultivation of a healthy mind, and finally rules for avoiding illness in the field. Many of these things could be translated into civilian life and so you made proper notes on this. 

You glanced at the time, seeing it was 7:45 by the time you were done making these notes. You decided that you should brainstorm some marketing tactics for this health regime. You made a more encompassing list that you previously stated the day before; Posters, pamphlets, video, radio, press releases, and large advertisements.

“Ma’am we should head to the hangar to depart for your meeting,” said the lieutenant. 

You nodded and packed up your things. You followed the lieutenant to the hangar to which you saw the command shuttle and Commander Pyre once more. 

“Everything is ready for your departure, my lady,” said the gold-plated commander. 

You climbed aboard the ship and everyone strapped in for take-off. 

“Tell me commander, am I to expect you to escort me every time I leave the ship,” you ask.

“Yes, ma’am unless Captain Phasma or the Supreme Leader is here. I have been put in charge of your immediate safety otherwise. General Pryde will meet us with the _Finalizer’s_ chief medical officer. Pryde is also in charge of your safety and your movements,” responded the commander. 

You thanked him and thought about what he said, that General Pryde was in charge of your movements. Why did you need to be watched or guarded so heavily? You shook that thought from your head as you received a ding from your phone. 

There was a notification from the First Order messaging center. You opened it seeing a message from Kylo, ‘Good morning. I will be in strategic meetings all morning but I would like to join you for a late lunch.’

You responded, ‘Good morning to you too. That sounds perfect, I have no idea how long the Health Committee meeting will go, but I will notify you when we are done or at recess.’

The ship landed, and you were greeted by the gray-haired general and an equally gray-haired medical officer. 

“Hello, my lady. My name is Dr. Crale Koroban I am the chief medical officer aboard the _Finalizer._ You and I will be working together on the Health Committee as assigned by the Supreme Leader,” said the medical officer. He bowed slightly when introducing himself with his hands resigned behind his back. 

“Hello, Dr. Koroban. I was informed that you were wanting to meet with me before the official committee meeting. Why is this,” you ask. You were now all moving into the White House to a conference room similar to the one you were in yesterday. 

“Yes. You have some background and first-hand knowledge as to the health and hygiene of your planet. I was also informed that you were quite frank when you recalled the health of many of the countries. It is this honesty that I need before we meet with the health officials from your planet. The First Order cannot afford a large unhealthy population on your planet,” said the doctor. 

“What would you like to know,” you ask. The general had taken a seat on the other side of the table, whereas the doctor sat near you, as did the lieutenant with the commander guarding the door. 

“I know that many of your third world countries do not have access to proper hygiene facilities let alone water. They have no way of properly cleaning themselves nor do they have proper health care. This is not my initial concern. They are easier to rectify. Your ‘first world’ countries, on the other hand, seem reluctant to want to improve their hygiene and health as they view themselves to be clean and healthy when in fact they are not,” responded the doctor. “What I would like to know is what you know and have observed as a ‘first world’ citizen on the health practices of your class. It is obvious that civilians have not been keeping things up to standard and we need to rectify this.”

You thought for a few moments about what the doctor said, “Like you said, we believe we are clean when in fact we are not. It is sad when the Center for Disease Control needs to remind us constantly during flu season or during any disease outbreak that we need to wash our hands, avoid touching our face and to not share food and drink with others. Many adults fail to wash their hands after using the restroom, but they always make sure to scold children if they forget. One of the officers gave a really accurate statistic about it and honestly, it didn’t shock me. We also don’t tend to stay home when we are sick, like we are supposed to because we tend to be workaholics. During outbreaks, people fear things but don’t really change their habits.”

The doctor nodded to you and was taking notes on the data pad you didn’t notice he had until now. “Reminding people is part of their job, but I see your point. Personal hygiene is step number one in preventing the spread of disease.”

“I also know there has been a rise in people against vaccinations, they fear side effects that have been disproven by medical professionals. There are also people seeking out home remedies for things that can only be cured or treated by a doctor. I am not talking about the occasional headache or stomachache, I am talking about skin rashes, diseases, and even cancer. Not that I am opposed to being prescribed rest, fluids, and a healthy diet, but there are some things only a medical professional can effectively treat. In third world countries, people will walk for miles to receive medicine, vaccines, and the ability to clean themselves, but in ‘first world’ countries we seem to deny these things as a privilege. It can be very frustrating.”

This time the doctor took more time taking notes and seemed to think a bit more before responding, “I agree with you. Your planet seems to have shifting parallels when it comes to health and hygiene. Your input on this is very valuable to me. We will be meeting with the others soon, but tell me who the three officials you have chosen are.”

You did not remember choosing anyone; you had simply mentioned that it may be best to include someone from the CDC, the WHO, and the Surgeon General. This may be what the doctor is asking. 

“While I never directly chose anyone, I merely suggested that we have some of the most respected health officials in the room,” you said. 

At this point the lieutenant spoke up, “we have the director of the CDC and the director from the WHO coming along with the Surgeon General.”

“Explain to me why you chose the CDC and the WHO,” asked the doctor. 

“The CDC is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention here in the U.S. they help set medical standards and are a resource many people trust. The WHO or the World Health Organization does the same thing but worldwide. The Surgeon General is one of the top public health officials in the world. They are chosen by the president of the United States and have significant experience in public health programs. I chose these three because they care for health and not for maintaining public appearances as to how clean we really are. They would like for the world to have high standards and health practices, unlike the politicians who like to refuse the truth about how unhygienic we really are.”

The doctor nodded at this response and seemed to be in deep thought for a moment. “If these are people whom your world trusts than it is of utmost importance that we get them to agree to First Order health practices. Dr. Xero Dabrini will be assisting me in this committee along with a handful of other First Order doctors and nurses. I hope to look to you for help with any mediation that may need to happen between us and these health officials. Note that the First Order wants healthy and hygienic citizens. We want to be able to provide the health care necessary for this to happen.”

You nodded and agreed with the doctor. The First Order is a military. They need healthy soldiers and citizens. You knew Kylo was counting on you to assist the doctor in this committee and you did not want to disappoint him until you were ready for this meeting. The first meeting that you would handle on your own, helping him with the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that this is a PSA from the Author: WASH YOUR HANDS, AVOID TOUCHING YOUR FACE, STAY HOME IF YOU ARE SICK, AND GET PLENTY OF REST AND FLUIDS. The COVID-19 is going around and the next few chapters will be centered around health. In my worldbuilding propaganda will be useful hygiene and health tips. Heed them if you would like, and stay safe from the virus and listen to the CDC and the WHO. 
> 
> A PSA from your lovely Author.


	19. Building the Foundation of Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My name is Dr. Crale Koroban. I am the chief medical officer aboard the Finalizer. The Supreme Leader has left me in charge of this committee. We are to improve both the hygiene and health standards of Earth, and bring them up to First Order regulation standards.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is a bit shorter than the last two, but tomorrow's is much longer, plus there is a lot of additional pieces.

“My lady, the Supreme Leader has a request for you,” said General Pryde. 

“What is it,” you ask.

“The Supreme Leader has requested that you are only referred to as Lady Ren. He explained that your safety is of utmost importance and you are to refrain from using your name. It has also been requested that you do not divulge your position, you are to be an Earth contact that has been promoted to the Supreme Leader’s inner circle and nothing more,” said the General. 

You considered what the General had to say. It was for your safety. Of course, you and Kylo had yet to figure out when you would go public with your relationship to one and other, but you didn’t know how to feel about this. You felt as if it was another lie you had to say about your relationship, the first one being to Carter and Hayden and the second to your parents/family. You also wish that Kylo had told you this himself last night, instead of having the General tell you. But you conceded to his request. 

“Of course. Is there anything else that the Supreme Leader requests,” you ask. 

“That is everything, for now, my lady.” And with that, the meeting was to start in ten minutes. 

You asked the lieutenant if he could get you some coffee. Filing into the room were the other First Order medical officers and the directors of the CDC and WHO along with the Surgeon General. This was the first time you had seen a U.S. Military officer anywhere near the First Order. Somehow the usual clean and neat uniform seemed outdated and bulky in comparison. 

They were all seated by the time 10 AM hit. Dr. Koroban stood and addressed the room, “my name is Dr. Crale Koroban. I am the chief medical officer aboard the _Finalizer._ The Supreme Leader has left me in charge of this committee. We are to improve both the hygiene and health standards of Earth and bring them up to First Order regulation standards.”

You could see the three health officials take in this information. You had yet to figure out if they were pleased with this or not. 

“We plan on improving vaccinations and overall healthcare. We understand that your ‘first world’ countries have knowledge of disease prevention and basic hygiene, but they seem to avoid this as a privilege. In the First Order, everyone receives the same top-quality care in our medical facilities and this is what we will bring here to your planet. Are there any initial questions,” asked Dr. Koroban.

“The First Order would like to improve the overall health and hygiene of the planet. Regardless of location and income,” asked the director of the CDC.

“Yes, as the Allegiant General Hux stated in his speech, ‘Personal Health is part of the foundation of organizational purity.’ Your planet has agreed to become annexed by the First Order and thus has become a part of the organization,” replied Dr. Koroban.

“So is the First Order asking us to just simply back up your policies or are they looking to be assisted in setting up policies for Earth,” asked the director of the WHO. 

“Both. There are current health standards within the First Order that I can not compromise on, but there may be areas that we can adjust for your planet. Currently, we will not adjust our policies on vaccinations or proper basic hygiene. We may be able to adjust our dietary restrictions and our reproductive policies,” said Dr. Koroban.

“These vaccinations, are from possible diseases that they may come in contact with when dealing with those who come from other parts of the galaxy correct? Why would someone who may never come into contact with anyone from space,” asked the Surgeon General.

“The point is if they do, we also want everyone under our care to receive the same treatment. Like I said before, vaccines are not on the table in means of adjusting our policy,” said Dr. Koroban. 

“Can we first go over what your policies are,” you ask.

“Certainly Lady Ren. The First Order has mandatory vaccinations against Brainrot Plague, Rakghoul Plague, Endregaad Plague, FNV-23, Crimson Forever, Rooze Disease, Pig-Lizard Flu, Ascomycetous Pneumoconiosis, Balmorra Flu, along with a handful of others.* We also do standard immunizations for Hepatitis B, Rotavirus, Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis, Haemophilus and other vaccinations that coincide with the U.S. standards**,” stated the Dr. Koroban. “We also require basic hand washing after every bathroom visit, daily showering, and thrice daily toothbrushing. We provide handkerchiefs to all personal along with many hand-sanitizing stations throughout our stations.”

“So these are the two policies that the First Order will not compromise on? What are the two that they might,” asked the director of the CDC?

“We have a two-child policy within the First Order, along with applications for parentage. There are harsh penalties for going against this policy. You must be of a certain rank and must have a certain clean record to be able to apply to have children. All females receive birth control implants and all personal are checked once a month for sexually transmitted diseases and infections. The First Order also has policies against non-monogamous relationships for this reason,” said Dr. Koroban. “In regards to dietary restrictions, we are a military. We control what our soldiers and officers eat aboard ships. It is carefully regulated to maintain peak performance within our ranks. We require certain supplements and vitamins for our personnel.”

“So the First Order wants to restrict the birth rate on our planet and control what we eat and drink,” asked the Surgeon General.

You spoke up, “No, these are the two policies that we can negotiate on. Certainly, you wish that everyone has access to birth control and STD testing, along with healthy diets. Because Earth will be mostly First Order civilians, they are allowing flexibility that is not allowed within the military itself.”

All three of the health official took into consideration what you said. The director of the CDC asked, “So who are you? You are obviously not a First Order officer.”

“You are correct, I am not. I am Lady Ren, I am a contact for the First Order on Earth’s societal issues. I am from Earth, but I am helping the First Order achieve a smooth transition in annexing this planet—a mediator of sorts,” you stated with an air of confidence.

Again they all three considered what was just said. 

“So these decisions, how are they going to be made? Will you just overrule us? Or will there be actual compromises,” asked the director of the WHO.

“There will be compromises where compromises can be made. We urge you to think of the health of your people and how they will benefit from our policies. We do not want to make you distrust us, nor your people distrust us. A healthy citizen is a good citizen,” said Dr. Dabrini. 

You pondered over the phases that Dr. Koroban repeated from General Hux, ‘Personal health is a part of the foundation of organizational purity.’ What did this mean? What did organizational purity mean? You knew that you were about to find out soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *https://www.starwars.com/news/the-phlegmpire-strikes-back-deadly-star-wars-diseases  
> **https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/schedules/hcp/imz/child-adolescent.html


	20. Healthy and Happy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I see. How have your current healthy eating campaigns gone? As I understand it a large portion of the U.S. population is obese, whereas there are many countries where large portions of the population are malnourished,” asked Dr. Koroban.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The men's video Personal Hygiene for soldiers U.S. Army does contain brief nudity. It is age-restricted on youtube. Watch at your own risk. 
> 
> Also, there is some outdated info in the women's one on feminine hygiene, just ignore the powdering of the pad and the discussion of douching.

“Shall we start with a difficult topic and work our way to something easier,” asked Dr. Dabrini.

The three Earth Health officials nodded in agreement. 

“Now understand that when we talk about the reproductive health of your planet that the First Order understands that civilians are not soldiers. They do not necessarily have to abide by the same rules. As is such there are things they will have to abide by like STD testing,” said a First Order doctor. 

“So the two-child policy will not take effect on this planet,” asked the WHO director. 

“Not unless absolutely necessary. If we get those who do not wish to have children on birth control, it will help any unwanted children from being born. Now we are not saying that birth control will be mandatory but we would like it highly encouraged among the sexually active and potentially sexually active fertile population. Children are a precious resource when properly taken care of,” said Dr. Koroban.

“And this birth control is regulated how,” asked the director of the CDC.

“The First Order issues standard implants, different and more effective than the ones you have available to your population. Currently, it has had no pregnancies during its implementation the First Order has been using it for the last 10 years,” said Dr. Koroban.

“So this is something you want all our women to commit to, willingly and not mandated,” asked the CDC director.

“Yes, it would be free and available to all those who want it. We highly encourage the use of this to control any unnecessary population. We will not budge on the STD testing. Now we understand the majority of your population already participates in monogamous relationships, we would like to encourage this as much as possible to again reduce the population and the chances of STDs spreading,” said Dr. Dabrini.

The health officials seemed to take this in. You were unsure about how they wanted to proceed with the First Order’s recommendations. The three officials turned to each other and started discussing the outcomes. You just sat back and waited for the deliberation to end. 

“We would like the narrative to be that women may choose to take the contraceptives. We agree with the STD testing and the emphasis on monogamous relationships. The two-child policy will not be accepted outside of China, unfortunately. So this is something you will have to encourage but not mandate,” said the Surgeon General. 

“Good, is there anything else on reproductive health that you would like to discuss,” asked Dr. Dabrini. 

“Will the First Order provide medical treatments for STDs and STIs,” asked the CDC director. 

“Yes, we provided all needed medical care to our citizens regardless of the situation,” replied Dr. Koroban.

“Is that everything,” you ask the health officials who nod in response.

“Next is dietary needs. The First Order is used to providing meals to all its personnel. We understand that this most likely not agreeable for the civilian population. We have considered rations like during your war times, something that allows the civilian some freedom but allows us to ensure they have a healthy diet,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“We understand how meals work in the military. I know that no citizen will like having their diet fully controlled by any government. You will have to find another solution, I believe there may be riots around civilians not being able to have a choice in the matter,” said the CDC director. 

“I see. How have your current healthy eating campaigns gone? As I understand it a large portion of the U.S. population is obese, whereas there are many countries where large portions of the population are malnourished,” asked Dr. Koroban.

  
“They have not gone as well as hoped. What you pointed out is correct. That the health campaigns that they have seemingly failed in the U.S. but in countries with high populations of malnourishment we are not able to distribute food and water in the quantities necessary for good public health,” said the WHO director. 

“Well, you might not be able to provide food and water to these areas but the First Order can. Would you be opposed to us regulating food in those areas and in areas where food and water are available to have a reeducation on what to properly eat and drink,” asked Dr. Koroban.

You could see the health officials were a mix of stunned and confused by this question. You wondered if they were really going to deny food to those who need it.

“Might I suggest that this be a route that we take. Surely those who need food will receive it and those who need to be re-educated and informed on healthy eating will do so. It would be better for the overall health of the planet that this would happen. We may want to focus on those who need food first. This would have an overall positive impact on those who question the First Order’s motives as they are providing for the needy first. I may also suggest that any food given to those who need it may be foods found here on earth as I am sure they will be more comfortable with it,” you said trying to ease the unease in the room. 

The three health officials began discussing again. The Surgeon General asked, “Is there anything in the dietary aspect that will be absolutely mandated?”

“Yes, currently all personnel and citizens of the First Order are required to take a multivitamin supplement, but of course that is adjusted region by region. For example, vitamin D absolutely mandatory in the diet of anyone onboard one of our ships as they will not receive any vitamin D from any star, like your sun,” said Dr. Koroban.

“So you would like to require a multivitamin to all citizens? Will you be transparent as to what is in them or are they just supposed to blindly take them,” asked the Surgeon General.

This time General Pryde spoke up, “No, I believe we will have testing at every facility so each individual citizen receives a multivitamin that is adapted to their needs. The First Order prides itself on our personnel and citizens being the most knowledgeable in the galaxy. At any one of our data terminals, you may access what the First Order requires of its citizens and why. We like our citizens to be informed.”

“How will you test at each facility? Tests take at least a week to receive results,” asked the CDC director. 

“Yes, well, our military is not the only thing the First Order is more advanced in. Our blood tests take a matter of minutes. So by the time an individual is done with their health check-up, we shall know what pill to give them. We also have the ability to synthesize the pills at every station. The First Order is prepared and efficient,” said Dr. Dabrini.

You could see the health officials were now struggling to keep up with the First Order’s advancements and policies. 

“Do you agree with giving out a simple multivitamin to every citizen? To benefit all citizens,” you ask them.

“Yes, I think that is something we can agree on,” said the Surgeon General.

“Good, why don’t we wrap it up there for the morning. I can help prepare a public relations campaign on hygiene before the day is over. Something along the lines of daily showering and handwashing, for now, to get things started. This is something the general public can improve upon greatly,” you said to the committee who all agreed with you. 

“I may be of some assistance my lady, with what the Supreme Leader has me looking for in the Library of Congress. I have run across some things in my search that may be deemed useful to you in your endeavors.”

“Yes, if you could take me there that would be great,” you then followed the general our of the White House and into a shuttle that took you to the library. 

You were immediately met with two librarians. One took the general to where he needed for his project and the other asked you about yours.

“I would like to see what videos and other documentation you have on proper hygiene. Only things within the last century, preferably. If it’s old but still useful, I would still like to see it. This lieutenant is assisting me,” you told her. 

She set you up at a research table with a computer. You and Mitaka were there for what seemed to be a few hours before you had narrowed it down to a handful of instructional videos and [posters](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/612397948093005824/all-of-these-are-the-posters-found-in-chapter-20): 

[‘Health: Your Cleanliness (1953)’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpjDKuAvKHs&t=176s)  
[‘Coronavirus | Vintage Hand washing steps from 1961’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PG5nGgQAi1k)

And two vintage military documentaries that would be aimed well at adults:

[Strictly Personal - War Department official training film U.S. Army Pictorial Services 1945](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmQSAIZptCo). (For women.)

[Personal Hygiene for soldiers U.S. Army](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7w6Bl9lqP4) (For men.)

These would be a great start along with some posters you found. Overall, you might need to develop a few more posters, but for now, this would be your basis. You glanced at the clock and saw that it was going on 2 o’clock. You just remembered that you needed to message Kylo for your late lunch. Hopefully, he would be proud of the work you had just accomplished. 


	21. The Beginning of a Long Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "While the First Order has annexed other planets, most of whom were Imperialist empathizers and small sparsely populated outer rim planets Earth is our largest undertaking. It has the largest civilian population. And while we will be annexing Earth’s military into our own we plan to keep your planet as a mostly civilian planet with a base for control. Your people will have more freedom than any of our other planets and we will heavily rely on your resources."

You, Lieutenant Mitaka, and General Pryde all returned to the White House together. From there the Lieutenant escorted you once again to the red sitting room. This time Kylo was already in the room with lunch waiting for you.

“How did your morning meetings go,” you ask.

“They were substantially better than yesterday. With you taking care of the health committee, it leaves my negotiations more open for resources and militarization. I can move along at a faster pace,” replied Kylo after taking off his helmet to join you in eating.

“I’m glad I can take some of the load off,” you replied.

“How did your committee go this morning? Dr. Koroban said you helped make headway in convincing the health officials to negotiate terms on which the planet will run. But I would like to hear it from you,” asked Kylo.

“Well, we have informed them about the immunization policies as well as the hygiene ones. We had informed them of the mandatory vitamins that the First Order requires. We have taken away the two-child policy for now and have moved to highly encourage the use of birth control. They have also agreed that in areas of high malnourishment that the First Order will provide food but in places where that isn’t an issue to run healthy food campaigns,” you replied and took a bite of your food.

“Are you happy with the progress,” he asked.

“Yes, I believe so. I am curious as to why there is the two-child policy, but because it is off the table, I won’t ask. I am happy that the health officials seem to be understanding that the First Order wants healthy citizens and is willing to do its part in making sure that happens,” you replied.

At the mentioning of the child policy, you could tell that Kylo was a bit uncomfortable, but he seemed to slightly relax.

“The two-child policy is a means to control overpopulation onboard starships and bases. Since it takes two people to create a child, we harbor a replacement factor. If needed, the policy can be changed at any time to increase or decrease the amount of offspring a couple can have. We also rely on the annexation of planets or portions of systems for parts of our population. Many planets and people volunteer to be a part of the First Order for the stability and order it can give them. Your planet is one of the richest that we have been able to annex,” replied Kylo.

“I see. Population control is this something the First Order has always done or is it something you have implemented as Supreme Leader,” you ask.

“No, although it wasn’t as regulated as it is now it stems from the Empire’s time. General Hux or Pryde would be able to give you a more definite timeline and a better reason as to why. Hux’s father, Commandant Brendol Hux, was the one to solidify its implementation in the First Order,” replied Kylo.

“So it is a relatively new thing? I guess I still have a lot more to learn about the First Order’s policies and hierarchy,” you responded.

“The policy was also put in place as a better way to control the military movements. While the First Order has annexed other planets, most of whom were Imperialist empathizers and small sparsely populated outer rim planets Earth is our largest undertaking. It has the largest civilian population. And while we will be annexing Earth’s military into our own, we plan to keep your planet as a mostly civilian planet with a base for control. Your people will have more freedom than any of our other planets and we will heavily rely on your resources. While the majority of the population will be civilians, they will most likely be employed in some way to help the First Order,” stated Kylo.

You took this into consideration, “So this is why negotiations are so important. You won’t have complete control over the majority of the population, so you need to keep them happy. Is that why you have me assisting in committees versus some other role,” you ask finishing your meal.

“You volunteered to help, so I greatly accepted it. You have a great deal of knowledge that the First Order does not have access to as you are a citizen of this planet. The government and health officials seem to be more comfortable in your presence as they know you know how this planet works. I won’t lie in saying that I am not grateful that you have asked to assist in the negotiations. I also know that you have said that you wish to stay with me, I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order and this is my place, and so it is yours too. If you do not want to be involved with this, please say so and I will find other things to occupy your time,” and with that, you could tell Kylo’s demeanor had changed. This was the first time his voice towards you had a hint of hostility. He wanted you near him, but he needed to complete his goals.

“I am more than happy to help, I think it would be best suited for me in the mornings to negotiate what needs to be done here on earth and in the afternoons I would like to be taught how the First Order operates. I do not want to lead you in a direction that you do not wish to go. I only want to help,” you responded and took his hand in yours. HIs was balled up into a fist and seemed to relax a bit at your words.

“I can see to it that you are given a tutor. Although it may be beneath him General Hux will probably the best candidate. He has the best knowledge of what you are seeking,” he took a sip of his wine. “You were in marketing, were you not? Dr. Koroban said you were helping design the campaigns for our health regime and General Pryde took you to the Library of Congress to begin working on it. How have you faired,” he inquired.

“Yes, I found some vintage health videos that, people from this planet understand and will relate with. I don’t know if they will overly trust something made specifically from the First Order in regards to their health. I also found some vintage posters that we may be able to make a decent campaign with. That may bee something you want to consider with anything you are having this planet learn. If it is already available here and is made by people from Earth, use it especially during the transition as it may make them trust you more than any production the First Order comes up with,” you responded taking the final sip from your wine.

Kylo just nodded in regard to what you had to say. There was a knock on the door and he permitted Hux to enter. “Supreme Leader the meeting is ready to convene again.”

“Yes. I will be there in a moment, but first General I must ask you to escort Lady Ren back to the ship. It is now your duty to help educate her on the ways of the First Order. No one within our ranks is better suited for this task. Take it as an honor.” And with that, Kylo’s helmet was on once again and you were left alone with the General.

“My lady if you will follow me I will take you back to the Steadfast and on the way up we can discuss what it is that you would like to learn,” you simply nodded as the junior officers came into the room and started to remove the remains of your lunch.

You followed the General to the command shuttle. The Lieutenant appeared by your side and saluted the red-haired man. “Ah, Lieutenant Mitaka. I will require your assistance in educating Lady Ren. Please reserve the main conference room for this purpose.”

“The Supreme Leader has agreed that every morning I will attend committees on earth and during the afternoons you will be educating me. I still believe the Supreme Leader will be joining me in the evenings. But you should prepare this schedule for the upcoming weeks,” you informed the General and Lieutenant.

You soon landed onboard the Steadfast and made your way to the conference room. “Shall we begin,” asked the General.

You nodded. Not sure as to where he was going to start. You took out your notebook and turned to a new page and waited patiently for him to start.

Pacing at the front of the room he began, “I should warn you, the First Order only serves itself. While we may want to bring order to the galaxy, we only help those who have aligned themselves with us. In many of the ideologies that I will teach you as a part of this education, it may seem as if we ignore those needs of lesser planets. We do not. We serve the good of the First Order and if a lesser planet has sided with the Resistance or the New Republic, we hold no mercy. Is this something you can understand,” he asked you.

“Yes, I believe it is something I can understand, but I may question things as I was raised under the pretense that my home country was right in all things and that it was superior. I know now that that is not correct and so I may question the First Order’s actions, but it is for understanding not criticism,” you responded.

“Now I will tell you what is the First Order. It is this. The First Order seeks order entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in order, complete order. What complete order means you will understand presently. We are different from the oligarchies of the past in that we know what we are doing. All the others, even those who resembled ourselves, were cowards and hypocrites. The German Nazis, the Russian Communists, and the Galactic Empire came very close to us in their methods, but they never had the courage to recognize their own motives. They pretended, perhaps they even believed, that they had seized power unwillingly and for a limited time, and that just around the corner there lay a paradise where human beings would be free and equal. We are not like that. We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Order is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. The object of order is order,” stated the General.*

You were reeling at this, trying to take it all in.

“Now do you begin to understand the purpose of the First Order,” asked the General.

You were unsure of how to respond. Was this something you wanted to be a part of? You felt frozen in time waiting for an answer to come to you. What would you answer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Part of Hux's speech is taken almost directly from 1984, for a reason. Please note this.


	22. The Founding of a Regime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The First Order has been built on the remnants of the Empire. Our ideals are based on their success but we have learned from their mistakes. As you know the First Order is a military regime. We can maintain order most efficiently this way. You must be familiar with military ranks and how they work. We have our officers and our enlisted ranks. We instill our ideologies at a young age. We have an academy that is unmatched anywhere in the galaxy. My father was one of the founding members of the First Order and this was one of his legacies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank the authors and editors of Wookieepedia. Like 90% of what Hux says in this chapter is edited but directly from the First Order article. *Also a huge 1984 reference again.

You simply nodded in response. You wanted him to continue revealing the purpose of the First Order. 

“The First Order has been built on the remnants of the Empire. Our ideals are based on their success, but we have learned from their mistakes. As you know the First Order is a military regime. We can maintain order most efficiently this way. You must be familiar with military ranks and how they work. We have our officers and our enlisted ranks. We instill our ideologies at a young age. We have an academy that is unmatched anywhere in the galaxy. My father was one of the founding members of the First Order and this was one of his legacies.”

“How young is a young age,” you ask.

“Our enlisted troops start young, but our main academy begins at 16. My father’s was a senior academy on Arkanis. He rebuilt it in the image of imperial success and thus the initial founding of the First Order was born. There were several others, including Grand Admiral Rae Sloane and Ornes Apolin. They helped build our new empire in the shadows of the outer rim. You know our enlisted troops as Stormtroopers. Now ‘troopers can become officers if they have proven themselves. They may even be given some command roles but for the most part, they are soldiers and not officers,” said the General.

“But how young is young,” you ask. 

At this the General seemed to be annoyed, “Our ‘trooper program is one that helps people who would otherwise die from poverty and starvation. They start very young. Parents volunteer their children in the frontiercorps and they are guaranteed food, shelter, and education. Like I said, they would otherwise starve and die without the First Order.”

“So you take children, young children,” you try to clarify. 

“We take those in vulnerable positions and give them something they would not otherwise have. And we do not take children, their parents willingly sign their children up for a better future,” he was no longer pacing in the front of the room but was now standing directly infant of you. 

You nodded and urged him to continue. 

“I am a product of my father’s academy. I enlisted at 16, graduated with top honors and was granted an assignment on a starship. I quickly moved up the ranks and am the youngest general in the First Order and the youngest Allegiant General in galactic history.”

He seemed proud of his accomplishments, he definitely spoke with pride and his posture changed. 

“While our Stormtrooper Corps start younger, any promising ‘troopers may be asked to join the academy,” he paused before starting back on the government of the First Order.

“The position of the Supreme Lead is the ultimate authority of the entire Fist Order and oversees the ruling military hierarchy. The Supreme Leader delegates power to some high-ranking officers and advisers, thus effectively removing any distinction between military and state. This forms an upper cadre of high-ranking officials who have the authority blessed by the Supreme Leader to oversee aspects of the First Order. Any and all alteration to strategy requires the Supreme Leader’s approval.”

“Do to the Supreme Leader’s status, any officer who has direct access to his person is effectively awarded greater authority than their military rank would indicate. We oversee the colonizations of the Unknown Regions and your planet.”

“The current Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, was not an officer. He existed outside the formal command structure of the First Order and frequently came into conflict with military officials owing to his agenda consistently trumping military objectives. His placement in the hierarchy not only maintained fear within the First Order’s upper ranks but also intentionally resembled that of Darth Vader’s during the reign of the Old Empire. He usurped the former Supreme Leader Snoke and took the ruling throne.”

You could tell that this annoyed him a bit. Kylo had existed outside the carefully defined ranks of the First Order and took power for himself. Ignoring the rules and pageantry. 

“Unlike our former Supreme Leader, Supreme Leader Ren likes to be in on the action. While he currently does not have an official capital planet he is more visible than Snoke. He still follows in his predecessor’s footsteps by making his base the _Supremacy._ And he has arguably made more improvements in his first few years as Supreme Leader than Snoke had.”

So Kylo was doing well as Supreme Leader. You didn’t know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. The First Order was definitely not what you initially thought it was, but at the same time, it was. 

“We despise the New Republic and view it as an illegitimate regime that tolerates disorder in the galaxy. We do not officially recognize it as a government and we view them as an ill-organized, poorly equipped, and badly funded group. We see our primary mission as restoring order to this lawless galaxy, and we view the Resistance and the New Republic as obstacles to this goal.”

“In our annexation of your planet, we have discussed public execution. We are merciless towards treason and must maintain order. The First Order has made it illegal to communicate with the Resistance and we consider it an act of treason, which you now know results in execution. Also, the act of speaking ill of the Supreme Leader has been determined to be a crime. We also employ the First Order Security Bureau as an intelligence service within our administration. We often employ the use of being reconditioned in our ranks, for those who break lesser rules and seem to be slacking in work.”

You weren’t able to fully comprehend what he is saying before he moves on.

“While the First Order is a military regime and the main purpose of a military is war, there are many things to consider. The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labor. War is a way of shattering to pieces, or pouring into the stratosphere, or sinking in the depths of the sea, materials which might otherwise be used to make the resistant masses too comfortable, and hence, in the long run, too intelligent. The First Order either commandeers what it needs or it will destroy it so it will not fall into the hands of those who would see us crumble.*”

At this point, the General could see you struggling to comprehend what he was saying. “How about we pick this back up tomorrow my lady? I believe the Lieutenant has taken notes for you to review. I believe the Supreme Leader will be back soon, and you have had a long day. If you will excuse me I have reports that I need to attend to.” With that, he left you and the Lieutenant in the conference room. 

You received a notification on your phone of a document from Lieutenant Mitaka. It was word for word what General Hux had said. You thanked him and you made your way back to your chambers. 

You took out your notebook again and started making notes on the notes you were given. Things you liked and things you didn’t like/had more questions about. Even though Kylo had left your education to General Hux, you wondered if he would have a problem with you asking him a few questions. Like how did he usurp Supreme Leader Snoke? Also, why was the First Order this creepy? This whole thing made you feel like you were in some sort of futuristic dystopian novel.

You were getting slightly annoyed at how small your screen was trying to read and take notes. “Lieutenant can I have someone update my laptop like they did my phone. I feel like it would be useful in these meetings and while I am doing all this learning.” 

“Yes, Lady Ren. I can have it updated for you.” You went into your room to retrieve it and you handed it to the Lieutenant. 

You then received a notification from Kylo, ‘I will be aboard the _Steadfast_ soon. Why don’t you order dinner for us while you are waiting?’

You did as he asked when the door to your chambers opened; the Lieutenant saluted and immediately excused himself from your chambers, leaving you alone with Kylo once more. 


	23. Touchy Subjects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what seemed like an eternity, and after the lights in your room dimmed from lack of movement you got up and got ready for bed. You were beginning to wonder if your mother was right, was this match going to be romantic or was it going to be platonic? If he couldn’t open up to you, then how were you going to spend your life with him? Your head kept swimming with questions before sleep took you. 

Knowing more about the First Order, but still not enough you had no idea what to say. You also realized you still had no idea who the man in front of you was. But you decided to go with the bland question, “How was your day?”

He turned to you and removed his helmet. “Better, now that we have moved past some of our more tedious topics. We are currently working on moving militaries into the First Order doctrine.”

You hummed in response. You began shifting your notes around nervously before he asked, “How was yours?”

“I enjoyed this morning. I feel like I am accomplishing something. I enjoyed our lunch. My lesson with General Hux was a bit daunting, but I suppose I am learning a whole new history.”

He returned the hum in response as he moved to sit next to you. Your dinner came in and you moved to the dining room. The meal was pleasant enough but there was an awkward silence between you two. Once you finished you moved back into the living room. 

You decided to ask a leading question, “I know we see matches, but can you tell me about yourself?”

Kylo visibly tensed. You knew this probably isn’t something that he wanted to talk about, but you had no idea who this man really was. 

“I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order. I am 35 years old. I can use the Force. There isn’t much to know.”

You shook your head at this, “Ok, that probably wasn’t a good question but who are your parents? Tell me about them.”

“I do not want to speak about them. They are nothing,” now his fist was clenched and he could barely finish the sentence without hissing. 

You recoiled at his response. If he thought they were nothing, the people who gave him life, then what were you?

He could see the response that his actions elicited. “There is not much to know about me. Anything you need to know is in the enlightenment documents.”

“But that is the Kylo the galaxy gets to know. I want to know the man behind the mask.”

“There is no man behind the mask, he and I are the same man.”

“But you’re different with me, especially when you don’t wear the mask.”

You saw his demeanor change. He was still stiff but now much more guarded. He moved to stand. “I am the same man, there is no one else.” He quickly ascended the stairs and made his way to the bathroom. 

If the door could slam you had a feeling that it would have. You gather your things from the living room and make your way to your room. You could hear the shower running through the door. You entered your room and the door shut behind you. The overwhelming feeling caught up to you. You slid down the door and bit back a sob. For the first time in a long time, you felt alone, utterly and painfully alone. 

After what seemed like an eternity, and after the lights in your room dimmed from lack of movement you got up and got ready for bed. You were beginning to wonder if your mother was right, was this match going to be romantic or was it going to be platonic? If he couldn’t open up to you, then how were you going to spend your life with him? Your head kept swimming with questions before sleep took you. 

You woke up to the same alarm that you had set the night before. Still feeling hollow you got ready for the day. Glancing at your reflection you noticed that you had bags under your eyes. You decided to take the time to conceal them this morning, after all, you still had meetings to attend. 

You left your room and again Lieutenant Mitaka was there waiting for you. He greeted you “Good morning Lady Ren. Over breakfast would you like to discuss today’s schedule?”

You nodded and made your way to the dining room within minutes you were eating, while he was enjoying the coffee you ordered him. “Your Health Committee meeting starts again at 10:00 hours. The Supreme Leader will not be in D.C. this morning as he will be overseeing some things in Moscow. He wanted to relay that he will not be able to join you for dinner either. He said that he would like you to eat dinner with the Allegiant General and General Pryde in the officers' lounge. Other than that you are to resume your education as normal,” said the lieutenant glancing up from his data pad. “Your vitamins have also arrived from the chemist. It is suggested that you take them in the morning after you have eaten something, my lady.” 

You noticed the box on the counter. You made your way to it. In it were individual packets with your daily required vitamins. There were high dosage amounts of vitamins D, K, and E along with other things you would suspect to be in a multivitamin. You ripped open that days pack and took the pills with one of your last sips of coffee. 

You turn to the lieutenant, “So I have nothing on my schedule until the health meeting this morning?”

“No, my lady. Is there something that you would like to do,” asked the young lieutenant.

“Why don’t we go to the bridge. I’ll take another cup of coffee with me. I would just like to observe things.”

With that your coffee order was filled and put in your to-go mug. You followed the lieutenant to the bridge. The room went silent as you entered. General Hux had his back to you and turned to face you when he had realized you were there. “Lady Ren, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I just simply wanted to observe the bridge this morning,” you said taking a sip from your coffee. 

At this, the general raised a brow. “As you wish,” and he turned his attention back to his subordinates on the bridge. Everyone around you quickly got back to work. Although conversations were now hushed. “Did you find the lieutenant's notes to be sufficient?”

You turned back to the general after your attention was on one of the officers discussing communications with another. “I did,” you turn to the lieutenant. “Thank you for the notes. I was impressed that they were the lesson verbatim.” The lieutenant nodded and thanked you. 

Again you noticed the attention of all of the officers on the bridge was on you. You could see the shock on some of their faces. “Good. I’ll be happy to report that the lieutenant is doing his job efficiently and to your standards,” replied the general. Who once again turned and started to speak with some subordinate officers. 

You moved around the bridge continuing to drink your coffee. You liked observing the fine-tuned efficiency of the officers. It was calming. You could tell that the officers were uneasy with your presence. You didn’t realize how much time had passed until the lieutenant informed you that you needed to go to your meeting. You exited the bridge and made your way to the hangar where you were greeted once more by your golden guard and General Pryde.

You returned to the White House and picked up from your meeting from yesterday. “Shall we begin,” asked Dr. Koroban. There was agreement all over the room. 

“I believe we left off yesterday with Lady Ren preparing pieces for a hygiene campaign. Would you like to show us what you found?”

They glanced through the videos and posters that you found at the Library of Congress. The room seemed to be in agreement that they were a great starting point for the campaign. “I do believe that the First Order will need to prepare some things for this campaign, only a few things just to keep the reason for this top of mind.”

You all agreed. The doctor sent your videos and posters to some group onboard the  _ Supremacy.  _ Apparently, they had some sort of group that handled all of the educational materials or enlightenment materials for the First Order. You also remember overhearing from your time on the bridge this morning that the  _ Supremacy _ was docked somewhere in your solar system, just not too close to Earth. 

“Now that that will be taken care of by the First Order, our next objective should be the dietary campaign.”

“Are we all still on board with ‘first world’ countries having an educational campaign and ‘third world’ countries actually receiving food from the First Order,” asked the Surgeon General. 

“I believe so, but I think that the First Order may want to consider also lending food to areas in First World countries that have high levels of poverty,” you replied. 

“I think that is something that we would prefer. We want your people to be healthy, helpful and productive,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“Tell me, what other planets serve the First Order,” asked the CDC director. 

“We have many but some of the main ones are Arkanis, Comra, Coruscant, Daxam IV, Hevurion, Kuat, Orinda and Riosa, some of them are not unlike your own but must smaller and less populated,” said General Pryde. 

“So tell me how does the First Order feed itself,” asked the Surgeon General. 

“We have many farming operations on many of our planets. If you are asking how we will feed Earth, then it is rather simple. Earth will feed Earth. The First Order will help in that endeavor, and will be able to receive some of the fruits of this combined labor,” responded General Pryde. “Currently you do produce enough food to feed your entire planet and then some. We would help with the proper preservation and distribution of the food, as you let too much go to waste.”

The health officials seemed to ease at this statement. “So we have determined that both the ‘third world’ and ‘first world’ countries will be receiving assistance. The ‘first world’ countries will only have assistance in places that are needed and will have a nutrition campaign,” asked Dr. Koroban for group approval. 

“We should also make sure to highlight the taking of mandatory vitamins and supplements. That should be run in both campaigns,” said Dr. Dabrini. 

“Yes, that is imperative. It should also be reminded that individual selfishness and individual desires are what brought the Empire down. We need our citizens healthy and working together if we want to maintain order,” said General Pryde. 

“Lady Ren, would you like to take up this pursuit like the one you did yesterday. Your work was exemplary and your insight was invaluable,” asked Dr. Koroban.

You nodded in agreement. If Kylo wasn’t going to insist on lunch as he was out of town you needed something to fill your time. 

“Shall I recommend that we take a few minutes recess before we convene of the topic of reproductive health,” asked Dr. Koroban.

The room was in agreement. You took this time to get another cup of coffee. Meeting you at the refreshments table was General Pryde, everyone else was congregating to other parts of the room. “If I may say, my lady, you have been doing most well at these meetings. I am also delighted to hear that you are receiving an education from Allegiant General Hux. If you ever need anything clarified, don’t hesitate to ask me. After all, I was with his father and Rae Salone in the building of the First Order.”

His comment caught you off guard. Hux failed to mention yesterday that he was a founding member of sorts to the First Order. You filed this thought away for your lesson later today. 

“Thank you general. I look forward to learning as much as I can about the First Order,” you respond diplomatically. 

“Shall we all gather again to begin the second part of today’s meeting,” asked Dr. Koroban. You all proceeded to take your seats once more for the meeting. This was a battle that you were not ready to face quite yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the story so far!


	24. Think of the Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How kind. Just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly brainwashed before it kicks in. Or just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly afraid to call to any action against First Order rule. You buried those thoughts deep within your mind. Even though Kylo was in Moscow, you didn’t know how his Force mind-reading thing worked and you did not want him getting even angrier with you. 

“Before we begin, I have been informed by First Order High Command and the Supreme Leader this morning that per our discussion yesterday I have an update on the child restriction policy. Earth will become a two-child planet in 5 years' time. Any child conceived before that deadline will be grandfathered in. There may be exceptions to this case but otherwise, the Supreme Leader’s decision is final,” said Dr. Koroban.

Wait what? Kylo made this decision? In the beginning, it felt like he trusted you, with your own planet. But now you were beginning to see the truth, that the man behind the mask was the same man with the mask. If only he knew what repercussions were going to happen with this policy, he might then change his mind. 

“So our discussion yesterday had no meaning. Do any of our discussions have meaning then? Are all of our decisions going to be overruled by the Supreme Leader,” asked the Surgeon General.

“The Supreme Leader has the final word on any decision we make. If he doesn’t like something he will change it. As is his right to do so. Need I remind you that speaking ill of the Supreme Leader is a crime. So beware of your thoughts and actions,” said General Pryde.

The three health officials shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They didn’t like being called out—no one did. 

“Gentlemen,” said Dr. Koroban pointedly. “The purpose of this committee is to make decisions on Earth’s health. Our decisions go back to the Supreme Leader. If he likes something he will keep it, but if he doesn’t it is well within his right to change it. He takes all of our recommendations, now are we going to continue this discussion or is this meeting something you would like to end?”

All three of them looked to each other and then quickly to you before speaking quietly among themselves. “We would like to end these meetings as we see that Lady Ren may give the Supreme Leader any insight into what our planet may prefer.” And with that, the health officials threw you under a bus. They were leaving these important decisions for you. Someone who as of a few days ago was happily working in a small marketing firm, now you were making decisions for a whole planet.

“Very well then I suppose you are dismissed,” replied Dr. Koroban. The three health officials all got up and left. You just kept your gaze down on your folded hands in your lap. Secretly you hoped you became invisible. 

Once they had left the room and the door was shut once more Dr. Dabrini spoke to you, “Lady Ren, you do not have to make any decisions you are not comfortable with. We can find others who will give us insight into how to best handle healthcare on your planet.”

You did not respond right away, the room was silent. When you did speak up there was hidden confidence in your tone, “But it is my planet. There are things that none of you understand. While I do not know galactic history like you all do, I do know enough of the history of my own planet to know that some of the First Order decisions will not go over well.”

“My lady, the reason the Supreme Leader changed the decision on the child policy is for the betterment of your planet. Your planet as we see now, if it continues growing as it has will be overpopulated very soon. In fact, many areas are. We are just trying to make sure your planet is healthy,” said General Pryde. “In fact much the First Order High Command wanted the child policy to go into effect immediately but the Supreme Leader wanted your planet to get used to First Order rule.”

How kind. Just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly brainwashed before it kicks in. Or just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly afraid to call to any action against First Order rule. You buried those thoughts deep within your mind. Even though Kylo was in Moscow, you didn’t know how his Force mind-reading thing worked and you did not want him getting even angrier with you. 

“So shall we still go with the plan that we encourage birth control in women and before the law goes into effect, some encouragement to have fewer children. Other than that no one should object to STD screenings or anything else of the sort. I imagine there will be some people objecting to monogamy but then again they are against the vast majority of this planet anyways. Someone else should assist me with finding things on this in the Library of Congress,” you stated. 

“Of course Lady Ren, I believe Petty Officer Ersela Tanau will be able to assist you in that endeavor,” said General Pryde. A young female officer stepped forward and bowed to you. 

“I believe there is nothing else needed to be discussed today, but tonight I will come up with a list of anything else we may need to go over and send it out to you all,” said Dr. Koroban. 

With that everyone left. You, Lieutenant Mitaka, Petty Officer Ersela Tanau, and General Pryde boarded the shuttle to take you to the library once again. Once there you, the general and petty officer all went your separate ways. 

You combed the resources for what seemed like hours. You came up with some simple videos and [posters](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/612760844912263168/posters-3-4-are-from-sarah-hamilton-we-happy). You knew they would most likely need to be approved by someone on the Supremacy so you were not as worried this time. 

[ Good Eating Habits (1951) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnjnrHyKmHQ)

[ Eating for Health (1954) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qSUQe6O-fg)

[ Vintage Army Nutrition for U.S. Soldiers ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia65Q7hjl7M)

[ Weight Reduction Through Diet (1951) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fxji5xkXOA&t=28s)

[ "Cheers For Chubby" Overweight & Healthy Diet 1950s PSA ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14oSJAYFMwo)

[ 1950's - How To Eat Healthy - Diet & Nutrition ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPCE2B4YLY)

Feeling proud of your digging you turn to the lieutenant and ask if there is anywhere you could go for lunch. To which he just informed you that you could go anywhere and that it would be taken care of. 

“Is there anything that you would like lieutenant,” you ask him. 

“Ma’am we can go where ever you wish.”

“But I am asking you if there is anything you would like. Are there any earth foods you would like to try?”

The lieutenant paused at this question. If you could peer into his mind you swear you could see cogs turning. Or maybe some little men running around with papers in their hands panicking and running into each other. You could definitely tell this was not a question he knew how to answer. 

“Ok. How about we go to an old fashioned American diner? If you are used to what the starships serve than this will be a change.”

“Yes, ma’am. Would you like to go to one now?”

“I think that would be most preferable,” you respond. You looked up a local diner on your phone. It was at this moment that you forgot that General Pryde would have to accompany you, for your ‘safety.’ Loading up into the shuttle was you, Petty Officer Tanau, Lieutenant Mitaka, General Pryde, and your golden guard Commander Pyre and his stormtroopers. 

Rolling up to the diner you could tell that the people milling about outside and inside were shocked at what was happening. You had to admit it was probably a sight to see a relatively normal-looking person surrounded by loads of First Order personnel. Overall lunch was pretty uneventful other than the diner basically clearing out after your arrival. All three officers ordered burgers and fries for the first time, while the commander insisted that his ‘troops were ok and would eat at a later time. 

You all head back to the shuttle that takes you back up to the  _ Steadfast _ . The lieutenant informed you that your laptop was back from wherever he had sent it off to. You made it back to your chambers as you still had some time before your daily tutoring session with General Hux. 

You received a message from Kylo, ‘I will not be back until tomorrow evening. Lieutenant Mitaka has been ordered to get you whatever you may need.’

You decided you still weren’t in the mood to talk to him after the events of last night and his lack of informing you of his decision this morning. The lieutenant informed you that the general was ready for your next lesson. You made your way down to the conference room once again, where the red-haired man was pacing about. He seemed to also be in a mood today.

“General? May I ask you a question that is slightly unrelated to the topic before we begin?” 

“Yes,” he responded with annoyance in his voice. 

“General Pryde told me that he was a founding member of the First Order. Why didn’t you mention this?”

“Ah, I see,” you could tell there was something about this that turned on a switch in his brain. “Pryde is just that, prideful. While he was good friends with my father and Rae Sloane one argues why is he still here and they are not. I can answer that simply. He may have been from their time, but he has not helped the First Order as they have. The sacrifices they made. Their achievements. He is, was apart of the Empire before the fall. He holds onto that, he can’t move past that. He is stuck in time with no realism for the future,” said the general with disgust for the subject.

“Is this why you are Allegiant General and he is not,” you ask. 

“One of the reasons. The other is that my achievements in my shorter military career outweigh his. That and Supreme Leader Ren and I have a history. Maybe not the best history, but he can generally trust my opinions and work ethic. Also although Ren likes his grandfather he wants to achieve more than him, so comparisons here and there are fine but practically obsessing over their similarities has proven to be too much for the Supreme Leader.”

“His grandfather?”

“Yes the late and triumphant Lord Vader. That is something I believe that the Supreme Leader will discuss with you when he believes you are ready. For now, let us stick to the topics at hand.”

Oh great, you were sure that the discussion of his grandfather might go over as well as the discussion of his parents. But if the general was so sure that Kylo might actually speak of it, then you should trust him. After all, Kylo trusts him more than Pryde, so that has to mean something. 


	25. Of Pride and Pryde

“Now where do we begin? I believe we should pick up some societal and cultural structures. Now First Order started in isolation on the far side of the Unknown Regions. Under the guidance of the Imperial veterans, we grew to learn that we had been robbed of victory over the galaxy by terrorists and rebels. Who now make up the New Republic. 

We are the only ones who have the power necessary to wrest the galaxy from a path of chaos and corruption. The New Republic’s corruption and ineffectiveness are plain to see across the galaxy. This corruption is one of our crucial weapons. Because of this, our citizens see the Rebellion as a false shepherd and that Rebels can only tear down governments and not build them.

The Republic is depraved, they allow famines to continue on Ibaar and Adarlon and the brutal suppression of the people of Balamak. The First Order has victories of liberating labor camps on Iktotch and we have won a fleet battle in the Bormeea sector.”

You could see the pride in his chest as he was speaking of the First Order victories. 

“In fact, we utilize a commemorative rank insignia system, issuing armbands bearing the names of famous units and heroes during the Galactic Civil War. Lieutenant would you kindly show her your rank armband,” ordered the general. 

The short brunette man sitting next to you showed you the sleeve of his uniform. In the armband, there was a group of symbols you could not read. 

“What does it say,” you ask. 

“Ah yes, I suppose we will have to teach you. We will add it to the list. His band says ‘Power.’ In memory to Admiral Clyss Power of the Galactic Empire. I shan’t get into why he is important at the moment as we will save that for another time but anyone who ranks from a squad leader to a colonel has an insignia that designates rank on their sleeves. Black uniforms denote combat positions, grey usually means mid-level officers who may see combat and teal denotes higher-ranking officers who run sections. Generals and admirals are denoted with silver for generals and red for admirals,” he said gesturing to his own uniform.

“Now the lieutenant and I are similar in many ways. We were recruited at young ages like I discussed yesterday. We were instilled with First Order doctrines to have a strong sense of duty, loyalty, patriotism, and obedience to the state of the First Order. We were taught to forgo our own personal desires for the greater good of the First Order unless that personal desire is for the betterment of the First Order. 

Our military ranks do emphasize individual strength and improvisation, both physically and mentally. Our training programs that are mandatory for all recruits, beginning at a young age, become more aggressively severe into adulthood. We like the Empire before us believe the naturally strong rise to power, while the weak are left to serve their natural leaders. Power is not a means; it is an end.

First Order citizens are educated to believe that the pursuit of individual selfishness and desires is what allowed the Rebel-Alliance to topple the galaxy-uniting Empire. The Rebels and similarily the Resistance are short-sighted terrorists who cannot see the benefit of an Empire. Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past. That is why we must win. The Resistance is chaos and disarray, we are better.”

This time you did not even bother to attempt to take notes as you saw the lieutenant’s fingers fly across his data pad at an unbelievable rate. You were correct in your assumption that he was going to send you them as your phone received them in a new document.

“Now my lady, I believe it is time for you to join General Pryde and me in the officer lounge for dinner,” said the general. You followed him out of the room and down the hallways to a large lounge that high-ranking officers were milling about in. All attention in the room shifted to you, before the general shot a look to the other officers. They then proceeded about their business. It seemed that no matter where you went either on the ship or down on Earth you seemed to draw attention--unwanted attention.

You followed the general to an alcove in the room that held a table that General Pryde was already sitting at. General Hux dismissed Lieutenant Mitaka for dinner and you watched him for a moment go sit with a group of young officers. 

“My lady it is a pleasure to have you eat with us,” said General Pryde dripping with morbid infatuation.

You could see General Hux shooting him a look as you both sat down. “It is my pleasure, but the person you have to thank is the Supreme Leader. He is the one who set this up.”

“Yes, the Supreme Leader asked to make sure that you were not to spend this evening’s dinner alone. He does believe that he will return for tomorrow’s dinner,” replied General Hux.

A waiter came to your table and took your order, both men encouraged you to join them in a drink as well as the entree. 

“So, have you been enjoying your time with the Supreme Leader,” asked Pryde. There was something lurking behind his eyes you just couldn’t tell what it was yet. 

“Well, I am on day four of officially knowing him and everything seems to be going relatively well. Why do you ask?”

You could see the generals exchange glances. “We only ask to make sure everything between you two is alright. We care about your safety and the Supreme Leader has a tendency to be a bit of self-destructive in more ways than one,” responded Hux. 

Before you could respond the waiter came back with your food and a refill of your drinks. “But Allegiant General Hux has informed me that your education on the First Order is going well,” said Pryde. The pair exchanged glances again. You could tell that there were parts of this conversation that you were missing entirely. 

“Yes, you’ll have to excuse my lack of conceptualizing the information yet. I am learning about a world or rather a large part of the galaxy that until six days ago I didn’t even know existed.”

“Of course my lady, no one expects you to learn galactic history overnight,” replied Hux nonchalantly.

“You have been a natural in the Health Committee meetings. Rather dignified if I do say so myself m’lady,” replied Pryde. Hux shot him another look, to which appeared to you to be a signal to back off. 

“Thank you. But that reminds me of a question that I have had. Who is the First Order High Command?”

You see both men straighten up in their chairs. Allegiant General Hux replied: “the First Order High Command are the admirals and generals within the First Order meaning both General Pryde and myself are members m’lady.”

You look between the two men, with some scrutiny. “So can you tell me who it was that suggested the two-child policy should be enacted immediately?”

Now there was a look of slight fear in their eyes as they exchanged glances once again. 

“M’lady I informed the First Order High Command of your wishes,” replied Pryde quickly. 

“The Supreme Leader made the ultimate decision,” said Hux defensively. 

“But that does not answer my question,” you replied. 

“My lady, that policy does not apply to you and the Supreme Leader it only applies to the majority of First Order citizens,” responded Pryde. 

You stood up outraged. “That was not my question. And that is none of your concern!” You quickly left the lounge and started to make your way down the hall before Lieutenant Mitaka caught up with you to help guide you back to your chambers. 

Reaching the door you told the lieutenant you were to see him in the morning and that you did not want to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. 

Shortly after entering the living room you received an alert on your phone from the First Order messaging system. It appeared to be a ship-wide alert informing everyone that you did not wish to be disturbed. 

How convenient.

You paced around the living room for a bit trying to blow off some steam. Ultimately you went to your room and changed into something more comfortable. You exited your room to return to the living room but before you did you spent a few moments looking at Kylo’s empty bed. For how angry you were at him for the moment, tonight would be the first night since you met that you would be without him. You wondered for a moment questioning if it would be childish to sleep in his bed tonight. You pushed aside that thought for now and retrieved your laptop from the living room coffee table. 

You glanced at the time seeing that it was only 7:30 you thought you should pull up a movie. You scrolled through your favorite streaming platform and found something to pass the time. After it ended it was around 10 p.m. you decided you should head to bed. Climbing the stairs to your room you once again looked at Kylo’s empty bed. One night sleeping in it wouldn’t hurt right? Would he even notice? You made the decision to crawl under the covers. One night wouldn’t hurt, especially when the sheets smelled of him.

You awoke earlier than usual the next morning. You hoped you beat the lieutenant usual arrival and tried to hurry back into your room and got ready for the morning. If the lieutenant noticed anything different then he failed to mention it during his usual morning greeting. You did the usual of ordering your breakfast and his coffee and sat in the dining room. 

“Are you alright m’lady,” he finally asked. 

“Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“Last night you seemed very unhappy leaving dinner and you gave me the order that no one was to disturb you.”

You breathed a small sigh of relief. He was only asking about dinner last night and not your sleeping in Kylo’s bed. “I’m fine, it was just something General Pryde had said, that is all. Nothing you did or anything else for that matter.”

“Would you like me to inform the Supreme Leader that he offended you? Allegiant General Hux might have already done so, but I can send another message to him if you wish.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose out of slight frustration. “No, it isn’t that important.”

“Ok, ma’am. Would you like to go over your schedule for today?”

“Yes please.”

“You have nothing once again until the Health Committee. Since the Supreme Leader will still be a way you are open for lunch but he will be back in time for dinner. After lunch, you have your lesson with the allegiant general. Is there anything else you would like to add?”

“No that is all thank you.”

You then went about reviewing what you had discovered yesterday and you opened the meeting topics agenda that Dr. Koroban sent over. Exercise, vaccinations, sickness prevention, and injury prevention was the list of upcoming topics to discuss. This time you would be discussing the topics without the health experts and you were less than thrilled. You figured you should do some preemptive research before meeting so you pulled out your laptop and got to work. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all this whole COVID thing has me unhappy like I know it's petty but I can't even go out to the bars tonight if I wanted to for my bday. Just ignore this.


	26. Reconditioning and Lack of Information

Lieutenant Mitaka informed you that it was time to go, so you put your laptop away and headed to the hangar. Surprisingly it was not General Pryde waiting for you this morning it was Allegiant General Hux. “Good morning m’lady I will be joining you at the Health Committee today,” he said collapsing his hands behind his back following you into the shuttle. 

“Is there a reason why General Pryde isn’t here,” you ask. 

“The Supreme Leader thought it was best that his best general would join you today,” replied Hux while strapping himself in. 

You received a message on your phone from Kylo, ‘Good morning. I look forward to having dinner with you tonight. It is my wish that you will have a better day today.’

You look back up at the general, “So what you’re saying is someone informed the Supreme Leader to what happened at dinner last night.”

The general lifted his chin and with a neutral face said, “It is my duty to make sure that any time you are not with the Supreme Leader that you are comfortable. Last night you were not comfortable and so I justly informed him of this. In our morning meeting, he informed me that I am to escort you today and that General Pryde is to remain on board the ship this morning. He also believes that some of the next few health committee meetings you will need proper assistance as the health officials from your planet have stepped down. I am also the most informed person as to where your education on the First Order is thus far.”

You shook your head slightly at this. So you were being watched by Hux, he was informing Kylo about you, seemingly behind your back. But why would your education come into play? You were discussing your planet, not the First Order. You just hummed in response. Your mood was not better, in fact, it soured from when you woke up this morning. 

You arrived at the White House and entered the meeting room. All of the doctors and nurses seemed to sit up straighter in the presence of General Hux.

“Allegiant General Hux, it is an honor to have you join us for this morning’s meeting,” said Dr. Koroban.

“Thank you, Dr. Koroban. I will be assisting Lady Ren in the negotiations as we are now without help from her own planet. General Pryde will remain on board the  _ Steadfast _ for the time being,” replied Hux who sat next to you, whereas General Pryde normally sat opposite of you. 

“On our agenda today I believe it is best to start with the topic of exercise,” said Dr. Koroban.

“As we have discussed in the past there are many ‘first world’ countries that do not take care of themselves health-wise as they should. There is a large population that has a sedentary lifestyle. I believe your planet m’lady uses the term office jobs,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“Yes, currently it is recommended that people receive at least 30 minutes of exercise a day and at least 10,000 steps,” you reply. 

“One course of action that we may want to debate is broadcasting morning exercise videos to the citizens. Nothing too strenuous, something like light aerobics. Stretching and basic exercises,” replied Dr. Dabrini.

“When you say broadcasted you do you mean something like public television? Because many local public stations in ‘first world’ countries already do something similar. Mostly for those who are of retirement age,” you ask. 

“No m’lady broadcast as in mandatory. We do it on all First Order planets. We have found it to be very effective,” replied Dr. Dabrini.

You knew there were daily morale-boosting videos that were standard in First Order occupied planets, but you were not comfortable with something like this. Mandatory exercises for everyone on the planet? Flashbacks from world history popped into your head, specifically the topic of the Hitler Youth. 

“You realize my planet has not been affected by the influence of the Empire like many of your other planets? Our people, for the most part, are used to their freedom or at least the ideals of freedom. While this might be something that some people might like, the majority of the planet will not stand for this invasion of privacy,” you respond. 

An officer who you have noticed in the meetings but has never spoken up before says, “Privacy is something you give up for the good of the First Order m’lady. You only gain it back once you have served the First Order well enough. It is a privilege to be earned.”

You turned to look at the general trying to watch his face in response. “This isn’t something you have told me. You told me you give up personal desires. On this planet privacy isn’t a personal desire, it is viewed as a right.” His face revealed nothing, he just stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room. 

The officer spoke again, “Allegiant General sir, was it not your father Commandant Brendol Hux who said, War is peace, Freedom is slavery, Ignorance is strength when talking about those who have not learned of the ways of the First Order?”

“Yes, it was,” responded Hux who now has looked over at the officer his face still neutral or rather emotionless. 

“If the memo that was sent out this morning was correct, then 85 percent of Earth’s population has already been registered and subsequently has effectively been taking their education sources. And with the 9 percent predicted to register today and 4 percent tomorrow then the majority of this planet has given up on their privacy already. Making that argument invalid,” responded the officer.

Hux’s demeanor changed at this, “Lieutenant Rodinon need I remind you that this is Lady Ren’s planet that you are speaking of. While you have been born and raised in the First Order, she has not. If you wish to remain in your position I suggest you remember who you are speaking to.” The was heat in his voice but the lieutenant did not back down.

“So has she not been receiving the enlightenment materials? She would know this by now if she were. What use will she be to the First Order if she constantly questions our motives,” asked the lieutenant who seemed to want to fight with the general. 

“She is being tutored by me, lieutenant. I should not have to tell you that the Supreme Leader has asked that she receives a different education than others on her planet. Afterall she will one day be the empress of our empire. Apparently, I need to remind you of that fact since you have seemingly ignored it in your debriefings. Captain Pyre,” called the general to your usual golden guard. Who entered the room with two other storm troopers guarding the now open door. “Please have one of your men escort Lieutenant Rodinon for reconditioning. Make sure they tell Colonel Datoo that he should not only review the ‘Character Guidance Program’ but also the memos regarding Lady Ren’s status.”

With this, you saw that there was fear laced in the lieutenant’s eyes as he was escorted by the armed stormtroopers out of the room. Still facing the general you asked, “do you care to explain what just happened?”

His face emotionless once more, except for the muscle that you could see straining in his jaw. “Dr. Koroban if you would excuse Lady Ren and myself for the moment. I ask that you do not resume this committee until instructed to do so, we should be back shortly.” With that he gestured for you to stand and follow him, you made your way down to the familiar red sitting room to which you two were left alone in. 

With his hands behind his back, he began to pace while explaining, “It is under orders from the Supreme Leader that you do not receive the same enlightenment as the rest of your people. For many reasons, as you are to know more about the galaxy and the meaning behind the First Order that you will one day fully help run. And the civilian enlightenment program has some drawbacks once you have received the first 3 lessons.”

“What drawbacks exactly?” There was now a present irritable tone in your voice. 

“They tend to make citizens more docile to the First Order presence. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but the Supreme Leader has expressed the desire that he would not like that effect to happen to you.”

“So it is brainwashing them. You are brainwashing my planet into docile creatures. And Kylo approved this!”

At the mention of Kylo’s name, you saw one of the general’s eyebrows minutely raise. “We are not brainwashing them m’lady we are merely enlightening them to the path of order. They see how the First Order can help them and they accept it.”

You shook your head. “I don’t believe you. And he wants me to be not docile, but yet complicit because I don’t know what’s happening to my own people!”

“M’lady I believe this is something he can explain to you best,” the general’s arms were now in front of him in an almost surrendering position.

“But what about the reconditioning that you sent the lieutenant to? What is reconditioning?” You could feel the anger building and yet dissipating within you. 

“That is something of a requirement in our officer and enlisted core. As you could see the lieutenant was acting in a disrespectful manner towards me and yourself. It is merely a relearning of the rules and regulations that they seemed to forget or deemed to ignore. I can show you it sometime if you wish m’lady.” 

Your anger still hadn’t fully dissipated, “You also said that I would be an empress. That I would one day run the First Order. I have no desire to do this. I did not sign up to rule a military regime let alone a galaxy!”

The general had fully paused and turned to face you. His hands were behind his back and a stern look on his face, “My lady I do not appreciate you undo criticism towards me. This is something you should discuss with the Supreme Leader if you have an issue, not myself. Might I suggest that we return to the meeting? We can switch up the topic to one you would rather discuss and leave any other topic until you have had a discussion with the Supreme Leader.”

You relented. He was still part of the problem, being a part of the First Order and all, but he was not who you were directly angry with. He was right, Kylo really hasn’t told you much as he rather preferred to leave that to someone else, like Hux. You nodded to him and followed him back to the conference room. You knew that Kylo would have some explaining to do tonight at dinner. For now, you tried to focus back on the task at hand. 

“I believe we should change subjects for now. Lady Ren is there a topic you would like to discuss,” asked the general. 

“The topic of sickness prevention. I think we should right now focus on the citizen and not any major procedural items.”

“So you would like a campaign again for citizens to see talking about the basics of sickness prevention, and not any policies that any institution would put in place. Is this correct m’lady,” asked Dr. Koroban. 

“Yes, although it may need to be discussed. There is also the matter of sick leave time as many who are sick must return to work sooner than they would like for things like the common cold. But yes I think a campaign, like the one for hygiene, should be done to prevent contagious sicknesses.”

“Something along the lines of washing your hands, don’t touch your face, stay home when sick, and don’t share food or drink with others? Common sense items but things that should be readdressed,” asked Dr. Dabrini. 

“Yes. These were all things I learned in school but upon entering the workforce it seems like it is something people have either forgotten or just ignore.” 

“I can have Petty Officer Tanau look into that, you have already done so much m’lady,” said Dr. Koroban.

“That’s fine, but could she send me what she finds so I can review it before it gets sent to the  _ Supremacy _ for final inspection?”

“Yes, Lady Ren. I think that would be most wise. I’ll let Lieutenant Mitaka know when it is done as to not to disturb you. But I think we should wrap up this meeting for today,” with that Dr. Koroban dismissed everyone. 

“My lady would you like to join me and Admiral Frantis Griss for lunch in the officer’s lounge,” asked Hux. 

“Only if you allow Lieutenant Mitaka to join us.” 

The general made eye contact with the lieutenant and noded. You were then off back to the shuttle to take your lunch. 


	27. Of Burning Fire and Water

You all made your way down to the officers' lounge. Again the room gets quiet as you enter. You follow the general over to the same table you sat at last night. This time there was a man whom you assumed to be Admiral Frantis Griss and an extra chair for the lieutenant. 

“Lady Ren it is nice to finally meet you, my name is Admiral Frantis Griss,” said the admiral extending a handshake to you. 

“It is nice to meet you, admiral,” you said taking a seat. The waiter then promptly came over and took your order. This time no one ordered alcoholic drinks but Hux insisted you have a cup of Tarine tea. 

There wasn’t much invigorating conversation happening this time around and you were very thankful for it. You noted that the lieutenant seemed to be a bit more uncomfortable than he usually was during breakfast. But you chalked it up to him not having meals with his superiors all that often because he was starting to become quite comfortable around you. 

Getting up from the table to leave Hux said, “I believe it might be best to disregard today’s lesson until you have a discussion with the Supreme Leader.”

“I don’t really think that it would be a good idea to let me stew on the discussion from earlier. Because I don’t think it would be pretty for the Supreme Leader if I did,” you replied.

“I suppose so. How about I take you to see some of the ‘troopers train? Captain Phasma has arrived ahead of the Supreme Leader and she and Pyre are set to spar in a few minutes.”

You eagerly agree as that is the best suggestion that he has made in a while. You and the lieutenant followed him through the hallways to a large training room. For the first time, you saw ‘troopers without their helmets or armor on. They were mostly young men surprisingly, a woman here or there and some older people whom you assumed to be commanders and sergeants. You three approached a mat that people were surrounding. In the middle were a tall short-haired blond woman and bald man, both taking fighting stances with staffs in their hands. 

As you approached the people on the outside of the mat shifted their attention to you and the general. This caught the attention of the man and the woman in the ring. “Lady Ren and Allegiant General Hux, sir. Do we have the honor of you watching our match,” asked the woman. 

“Yes, Captain Phasma. We shall watch you and Commander Pyre spar. Although I do believe this is Lady Ren’s first time witnessing you out of combat uniform,” replied the general. 

Phasma bowed to you as did Pyre. In unison, they replied, ”Ma’am.” And resumed their fighting position. A man on the outside of the ring blew a whistle and they began to spar. 

General Hux leaned over to you and said, “if you were to ever bet on one of these matches always place your credits on Phasma.”

To which the Lieutenant agreed to say, “other than the Supreme Leader, Captain Phasma is the last person you ever want to fight.”

You watched as she easily had the upper hand, although you could see why she chose Pyre to spar with as he was a formidable opponent. Although you assumed that he was stronger than him she was more skilled with the staff. By the end of the first round, it was 6-2. You could hear the commanders ‘troops cheer for him whenever he was able to successfully land a hit. 

You were absolutely amazed and a bit jealous of Phasma’s strength and skill. You could definitely tell that the lieutenant was telling the honest truth when she struck her staff at the commander and his split in two during his block. All of the room seemed to cheer at that. By the end of the match, it was 18-7 in Phasma’s favor. 

A junior officer entered the room and approached you, “Lady Ren? The Supreme Leader has sent me to fetch you. He has returned and would like to see you in the throne room.”

You follow her through the halls of the _Steadfast_ with the lieutenant trailing you. Outside the throne room, she turns to leave you and you stop her. 

“How old are you,” you ask.

“Sixteen ma’am,” replied the girl.

“Are you in the Academy?”

“No ma’am I was not accepted into the academy, but I have applied to serve aboard the _Finalizer_.” 

“How long have you served here?”

“On the _Steadfast_ ma’am? Four years.”

You let her go. She was twelve when she first enlisted onboard. A child. All of the anger that was built up earlier seemed to ignite again. This time it was a raging fire. You opened the door to the throne room and started to march in until you saw the scene before you. 

In the center of the room before the throne were Lieutenant Rodinon and General Pryde kneeling before the throne. You could see that Kylo still had his helmet on and had his head resting on his chin. You approached them, Mitaka did not follow you to them but rather he stayed on the edge of the platform. 

You walk around the kneeling men and ask, “what is all this?”

Straightening up in throne Kylo says, “They have something to say to you. Lieutenant Rodinon first.”

“My Lady, I am truly sorry about my behavior earlier today. It was disrespectful for me to speak that way to someone of your status, to you. I hope you can forgive me, madame,” said Rodinon. 

Your eyes flickered to Kylo. Why was he making them do this? “I forgive you, but next time read whatever memo they send out and stick to it. If you would have done that in the first place you would not be here.”

Kylo then dismissed him from the room. Next up was General Pryde who bowed his head while he spoke.

“Lady Ren, I apologize for any actions or statements I may have done to offend you at last night’s dinner. It was not my intention. I also deeply apologize for inserting myself into your relationship with the Supreme Leader,” at this, you saw Kylo’s hand raise. Pryde’s head seemed to be yanked up by an invisible hand and held tightly. Straining, “I hope you can forgive me for my actions, I promise to never speak of your relationship in such a way again.”

You glanced at Kylo once more. What game was he playing?

“General, you are never to speak of any relationship in such a way again, let alone mine. I forgive you, but you must never do so again.” 

You saw him be released from the invisible grip. He cleared his throat. “Thank you m’lady.” 

Kylo dismissed him, but unlike the lieutenant, he was dismissed with a shove of the Force that almost landed him on his back. Kylo turned his head to lieutenant Mitaka, “You are dismissed for until tomorrow. Unless Lady Ren or myself call for you.” 

You turned and watched the lieutenant leave the room before turning back to Kylo, who was descending the throne quickly. Before you could say anything he took you arm in his and whisked you out the room and down the hall. Under different circumstances it would have felt very romantic but seeing as you were still angry at him you were a bit miffed.

You entered your chambers where Kylo promptly removed his helmet and pulled you down to sit on the loveseat with him. Before he could pull you into his lap you pushed yourself off the couch and glared at him. 

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” you said pointing a finger at him before crossing your arms.

He sat back and stared at you, urging you to continue.

“When the hell were you going to tell me that none of my decisions in the health committee really mattered? Like the two-child policy that your general just apologized to me for? Or that your First Order is brainwashing my planet—my people? Or that apparently I am to rule the First Order with you? Or that you essentially send children off to fight wars, Jesus Christ the girl you sent to get me enlisted when she was just twelve! Never mind how young you enlist the Stormtroopers because apparently, your Allegiant General didn’t feel comfortable giving me an age. When was I to find all this out, because you don’t talk to me. All you do is essentially try to cuddle me but get angry when I ask you a question about your parents, but apparently I was supposed to find out about how great your grandfather is to the First Order through your general!” You were now just effectively shouting at the man in front of you, whose face remained frozen, but whose eyes were giving everything away. 

You paused to catch your breath before you asked, “well what do you have to say for yourself?”

If looks could kill the man in front of you would have been dead several times over. 

His eyes were now trying to pierce your soul. “I was waiting to tell you most of this. I didn’t realize that Hux’s lessons would have already started to dive into those parts of the First Order. I assumed you would have started in a lighter spot. For the record, we are not brainwashing your people. We enlighten all of our citizens to the atrocities that the Rebel Alliance and the New Republic have done and what the First Order has done to help the galaxy. It was a program started by our founders and was carried on by my predecessor. I saw no reason to discontinue something that boosts the morale and loyalty of my people.” He moved to strand now his face was inches from yours. “The First Order also does not send children into battle. At least not since General Hux has made his way into First Order High Command 7 or so years ago. You should thank him for that. While we do have junior officers aboard ships and the ‘trooper program does recruit young none of those children see battle until they are 18, or they shouldn’t unless the fowl Resistance drags them into it. As I said before my parents are no one, but my grandfather was one of the greatest men to ever walk this galaxy. Your planet has a population problem that needs to be solved soon. Your people can not be coddled into thinking that that way of life will sustain them on your planet. Because it won’t more people will die as a result to that ignorance.” Before you could think of a response Kylo pulled something off his belt and placed it into your hand while pulling you both down to the couch once more. 

The object was mostly back and pretty heavy. It was cross like in shape before you could ask what it was and why he handed it to you he spoke.

“This is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy. It is in many ways like the one my grandfather carried, but in many ways, it is my own. I built this with my own two hands, it carries my blood. The Jedi falsely used this weapon to once cowardly try to control the galaxy. But my grandfather used his to help bring order to the galaxy before the Jedi and rebels destroyed his work.”

You ran your finger along the little red wire. You don't know what to make of this information. Or why he just handed it to you. 

“I carry this as a symbol to the galaxy. I carry the responsibility of it. I admit I have not used it as I should but that is a battle that I face every day.”

He guided your fingers to the switch that you had been avoiding. He helped you ignite it. It hissed and crackled to life. The bright red blade seemed like its own life form, like a being in itself. You were surprised that the blade didn’t add any weight, but you supposed that the blade was made of light so why should it? You moved it in your hand a bit and it audibly cut the air with a whoosh. You could feel the power it held. You almost wanted to touch the blade but you knew that probably wasn’t a good idea.

“Why are you showing me this,” you ask. 

“Because I want to wield this blade for you. I want to only strike with it when you command me to. I want to give you the power to mold this galaxy, through my hand. That is my desire. That is the wish that I have kept with me all of these years. When I lost… or rather killed Ben Solo you were the one thing he begged me, Kylo Ren, to keep safe. You are the one that I would destroy the whole galaxy looking for. You are the one I keep living for. Nothing else really matters to me,” his voice became soft and quiet as he turned off the lightsaber and removed it from your hand before tracing his name once more. 

“But why did you kill him,” you ask. 

“Because he was weak. He could not protect you as I can,” his words becoming stronger once more.

“But if he is dead why is his name still here,” you said pointing to your wrist. 

He grabbed your arm and said, “there is something I still must finish. But you cannot know what it is until it is done. Because then I will have you all to myself and then we will be able to rule the galaxy.”

“What if I don’t want to rule the galaxy,” you ask.

“Then I will alone, but with you still by my side. Safe. It is my destiny to finish what my grandfather started. To order to the galaxy. To bring balance to the Force.”

He interlaced his hand in yours. You felt numb. This was all too much. And somehow Kylo sensed it. He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and said, “why don’t we order a quick dinner and then go to bed. You’ve had a long day.” 

You simply nodded as he summoned his data pad and ordered dinner. Once he finished ordering he set the pad down and drew you into his chest while he leaned back. You stayed like that for several minutes before your food arrived. He stroked your hair and neither of you said a word. When the food finally arrived the droid served it to you while on the couch. It was a simple quick but filling meal.

After the events of the day, you both parted saying your usual goodnights. You got ready for bed and crawled in. About an hour and a half after you had gone to bed you realized that you were too parched and needed a drink of water. Slipping out of bed you opened your door and started to make your way to the kitchen. But before you could you heard a noise.

You noticed that Kylo was not in his bed, but that his shower was running in his bathroom with the door shut. You heard it again. A low grunting sound. Concern etched across your face before you heard it.

Your name, but not in a cry for help, but dragged out in a moan. You covered your mouth both in shock and to keep yourself from alerting Kylo.

If your mouth wasn’t dry before, it certainly was now. Your underwear, on the other hand, was feeling rather drenched. 

He was pleasuring himself to the thought of you, you briefly wondered if this was a nightly occurrence since you had met if it is something he has been doing since forever because your name was on his wrist or if it was now his first time partaking in such an act.

You heard another moan and then your name. You remembered again that he could read minds so you quickly went to the kitchen and practically drowned yourself with water before running back to your room.

You promised yourself you would wait with him. That he was special and that you both deserved to know each other before taking part in such an intimate act. But boy did he make wanting to wait a bit hard. Trying to fall asleep now was a difficult task, you were thankful when sleep finally did take you.

  
  
  
  



	28. Distractions

When you woke up the memory of last night’s discovery came crashing in. You hoped that it was a normal day and that Kylo had already left this morning. You went about and got ready. Opening your door you hesitated to check to see if he was still around, but it looked like he had left. Like usual the lieutenant was waiting for you in the living room and he followed you into the dining room. You ordered your usual breakfast and coffee for the lieutenant.

Before your food arrived you heard Kylo enter the living room. He made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. You could see him now in workout clothes, a simple pair of black joggers and a black muscle shirt. He was sweaty and slightly out of breath. It took him a moment to notice you and the lieutenant at the table.

“Good morning,” he said making his way to the table to sit. 

It was at this point that the lieutenant noticed that he had entered and he quickly moved to stand. You could see the fear in his eyes and his entire demeanor had shifted from comfortable to nervous. 

You glanced at Kylo before saying, “you can sit lieutenant.”

The lieutenant shifted his gaze to Kylo who said, “you can sit.”

“Lieutenant there is no reason to be nervous. If he didn’t like you in some way then he wouldn’t have trusted you to be my assistant.”

Kylo and Mitaka shared eye contact for a moment before Kylo nodded. Before anything more could be said, the droid came in with your breakfast, the lieutenant’s coffee and some sort of protein shake and burrito thing for Kylo. 

“I am assuming you worked out this morning,” you said. 

“The knights and I sparred,” Kylo agreed. 

You could see that the lieutenant shifted uncomfortably in his chair once more. Apparently, he might have lied about not wanting to face Kylo or Phasma. You had a feeling the Knights of Ren might also be on that list too. 

“The knights are here? Will I get to meet them,” you ask rather excitedly. 

“They can join us for dinner if that is something you are interested in?”

“That sounds like a great idea!” You finished your breakfast in a happy mood.

“My lady, would you like to go over today’s schedule,” asked the lieutenant. 

You hummed in agreement. 

“Petty Officer Ersela Tanau sent over a list of things for you to review before your meeting at 10:00 hours. The Allegiant General has requested to join you again today for the meeting. The Supreme Leader has requested you for a long lunch,” he paused saying this while quickly glancing at Kylo. “You then have your tutoring session with the Allegiant General and then now dinner with the Supreme Leader and the Knights of Ren. Is there anything you would like to add?” 

You glanced over at Kylo who was finishing eating while looking at something on his data pad. “No. That should be everything I think. Send over the list from the Petty Officer and I’ll review it in the living room.” 

You got up and moved while grabbing your laptop off of the coffee table. You were impressed with the number of videos and  [ posters ](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/613123111968243712/a-soul-to-mend-his-own-ch-28-posters-i-believe) the petty officer was able to find, after all, she wasn’t from Earth. 

[ Joan Avoids a Cold (1947) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuZYT78cY5o)

[ Preventing the Spread of Disease ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVm0ew2Bnh8&list=PLl2ei8pZvxDyPvyGJRotC3YCU59Z1JAba&index=51)

[ Sniffles and Sneezes ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-utqlpgCjg&list=PLl2ei8pZvxDyPvyGJRotC3YCU59Z1JAba&index=58)

They seemed very sufficient to you and you sent them off to be reviewed by the  _ Supremacy _ . During your review time, Kylo passed through the living room and into his bathroom. You could hear the water running and it brought back the memory of last night’s discovery. You quickly shoved that to the back of your mind, not wanting to upset him if he were to find the memory. 

Not long after and right before you had to leave for your meeting he appeared dressed and ready to accompany you to the hangar. You joined arms in your usual fashion and made your way to your shuttle. The redheaded general greets you both, as does both your golden guard and Kylo’s silver one. 

Kylo again saw to it that he was the one to strap you in. You still found it rather endearing but frustrating at the same time, after all, you had been doing it yourself when he was away. You tucked your frustration away. 

Upon landing you went your separate ways for your meetings. Before he left he took your hand and brought it up to where his lips would have been if not for the helmet, like a kiss. You blushed and shivered slightly as the mask felt cold against your knuckles. He dropped your hand and bowed slightly before he left. 

It took you a moment to regain yourself, being slightly flustered and all, but the lieutenant and general were patiently waiting to escort you to the meeting. If his gesture was a sign, today was going to be a good day, at least you hoped. 

To your relief, Lieutenant Rodinon was nowhere to be found in the room. Although you felt guilty of last night’s punishment you were relieved to not have to face him this morning. Instead, you turned your attention to the young petty officer. 

“You did an excellent job finding materials to send to the  _ Supremacy,  _ Petty Officer Tanau.”

At this, she perked up a bit. You could tell all of the officers in the room aside from the doctors, Lieutenant and the general seemed to tense on your arrival. With your compliment you noticed some of them relax, especially Tanau. Others you could tell were still wary of you and your presence, no doubt even more so after yesterday’s incident. 

“Thank you, ma’am,” said the young petty officer.

The lieutenant brought you over a cup of coffee, and you noted you didn’t have your usual amount at breakfast, due to Kylo’s distraction. You silently thanked him. 

The general turned to you and asked, “Did you have a discussion with the Supreme Leader?”

“We had a discussion of sorts. He explained a few things. Has yet to explain others, but for now, I will go along with all of this. But do not think for one minute that all of these discussions are over with. I know where I stand and I now have a better idea as to where he does. But I do want to thank you for taking children out of battle.”

At this, he stilled for a moment. You could see that he was hiding shock on his face and in a matter of a second he regained himself and said, “thank you, my lady, I did not realize that your discussion had gone that far.”

“It did and it didn’t. I suppose I should be very thankful that it is you sitting next to me and not your father. I believe that you have been kinder to me than he would have.”

With a slight bitterness in his voice, “you are correct. My father would probably have been most displeased.”

You turned more to smile at him, he returned a ghost of one to you. You considered it a personal victory as you knew the man sitting next to you was almost as guarded as your match.

“Welcome everyone. Today I serve the reminder that it is the last day of Earth’s registration. We are currently on track to have less than 1% of the population refusing to register. Lower than other First Order annexed planet. Many of our health plans will be sent out soon. We currently have been more lenient but starting tomorrow the campaigns will start and our work will come to fruition. But understand that our work is not yet over as we have many things yet to discuss,” said Dr. Koroban.

“I believe in our discussion today we should talk about injury prevention, as we handled sickness prevention yesterday,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“What type of injuries are we supposed to be preventing,” asked a young officer. 

“Well seeing as anyone can get injured technically all of them. But it may do well to focus on workplace safety. As some of you may know the Supreme Leader has finished some negotiations in the country of Russia. The First Order has plans to create factories and to expand upon the many mining operations they currently have. Of course, this is not the only country that the First Order will have working with us, but it is one of the largest and most influential,” said the redheaded general. 

Factories and mining operations? So soon? You were hoping that Kylo was going to stick to his word that your people and planet were valuable and hopefully not just seen as workforce resources. 

“I believe there are agencies in many countries whose duty it is to make sure there is job site safety. Shall we reach out to one of them to assist in this endeavor,” asked an older officer. 

“Yes, I believe OSHA will be of help. Of course, they do not need to be as involved as the CDC and WHO were. I think you can rely on them as a resource to effectively gather safety materials faster,” you responded. 

“Shall we leave this to be another campaign, Lady Ren? As it would be mostly the responsibility of the individual to see that they are not harmed on the job site,” asked Dr. Koroban. 

“I believe that a campaign once again would be a good idea. Most job sites have mandatory safety training anyway, but if they see it as something encouraged by the First Order they may remember it better,” you responded.

“Tomorrow’s meeting will be much longer as the Supreme Leader will be joining us. For now, you are all dismissed and Petty Officer Tanau will go forth and research this topic for us,” said Dr. Koroban.

You were all released from the room. Waiting outside the door for you was the Supreme Leader himself. He guided you through the halls and back to the shuttle this time instead of taking your lunch in the Red Room. You moved to strap yourself into your seat once more but Kylo grabbed your hands and told you, “let me do this.” And something about it made you hot all over. 

The flight seemed faster this time, but you supposed that you were distracted from wondering by the leather-gloved hand that seemed to be resting on your thigh. The fingers occasionally twitched sending jolts throughout your body. The hand did not seem to go unnoticed by your fellow passengers. 

Upon arrival Kylo also unbuckled you from your seat, this time you felt his fingers ghost along your chest. You felt hot. Your heart was in your throat. You were pretty sure your ears were red and could be seen on the other side of the galaxy as some sort of homing beacon. 

On exiting the shuttle Kylo did not pause to the usual salute. He kept walking and pulling you with him through the halls once more. Entering your chambers he quickly took off his helmet and let it drop to the floor with a loud thud. Next his gloves came swiftly off and his hand took yours. He repeated the same gesture from earlier as he brought ti to his face, this time his lips. Those soft, plush looking lips of his ghosted your knuckles before fully kissing them.

If you were hot before you were lava now. You could feel your knees start to give out before he guided you down to the couch. Your hand had now been turned over in his and his lips running over your palm. Your breath hitched as his lips found their way to his name on your wrist. Your brain stopped working. The kiss that he planted there was long and hard. You were pretty sure you were going to pass out. And you did, for a moment anyway. 

  
  



	29. Blackout

You felt groggy. Blinking. You heard a familiar voice that wasn’t Kylo’s, but you also heard his. They were speaking to each other. You heard your name. You tried to focus. You were now lying down and not on the couch--when did you lie down? You were in his bed, Kylo’s bed. Your sense of smell was still working if only your eyes would focus. 

Blinking a few more times you could tell it was bright. Until a large object was in your vision. You started to focus. You recognized the face of Dr. Dabrini. Hw was saying something but your hearing wasn’t fully back yet. You could pick up only some of what he was saying. You could tell that he was trying to get you to talk. You tried, your mouth felt like a field of cotton in late august. Nothing came out but you could see a large shape move behind the doctor. A glass of water came to your lips, you were able to recognize Kylo’s gloved hand. 

The water helped immensely. “What happened,” you ask but your voice sounded foreign to your own ears. You sounded like you had been smoking 3 packs a day for 30 years. 

“You passed out Lady Ren. Your heart rate was highly elevated, too high. Let us wait a few more moments until you are fully awake,” said Dr. Dabrini. 

You mentally did a full body check. Other than feeling like you were hit by a truck you felt ok. Everything seemed to move. You moved to sit up. You felt a pair of hands helping guide you. It took a lot of effort to look over at who it was but you did and of course, it was Kylo. 

You made a note that you needed to memorize those strong hands of his. You could feel him put pillows behind you assisting you upright. 

You definitely needed to memorize those hands. 

You took a moment to regain yourself as sitting up felt like you ran a marathon. “I’m ready.”

“Well, Lady Ren there isn’t much that I can tell you. I know the subject of your relationship with the Supreme Leader can be a touchy one,” he said looking over at Kylo who was now standing rigid at the other side of the bed. 

“But as your physician at the moment it is my duty to inform you such things. The Supreme Leader informed me of the nature of your passing out and I have come to a conclusion that correlates with your current condition. There is a very small portion of the population has your condition. I can assume that because of your reaction that you and the Supreme Leader have yet to consummate your match. I suggest you refrain from such an act until you do. You have no judgment from me.”

“All he did was kiss my wrist.”

“Yes, my lady. But the condition that you have is currently unnamed but does not last long as most matches consummate soon or they refrain from such intimacy until they do.”

“Intimacy? All he did was kiss my wrist,” you repeat.

“Yes, your condition involves added nerve endings on your wrist, under his name. This act, this kissing stimulated the nerve endings too much. After you consummate things these nerve endings become less sensitive. They are most sensitive when you are in direct contact with your match, the lips being one of the most stimulating body parts to the wrist. Although you may have touched each other’s wrists before I suspect you may have only felt small jolts of electricity or goosebumps. I believe the Supreme Leader would rather not test this but I have a feeling that he may have a very similar reaction if you were to reciprocate the action.”

You looked at Kylo who looked guilty, like a small child who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. His head was downturned and his shoulders slouched. 

You turned back to the doctor, “Is that everything?”

“Yes, It is doctor’s orders that you rest for the rest of the evening. You will be fine tomorrow, but you should refrain from anything too strenuous or stressful tonight,” he said pointedly as he looked at Kylo who half turned away. “I also will tell you to refrain from doing so again, unless you desire the same result, which once won’t be detrimental to your health but multiple times it may.”

“Thank you, doctor,” you said. With that, he left. 

You and Kylo were now alone. He looked ashamed of himself, you could tell. You patted the bed next to you, inviting him to sit. He did. Neither of you spoke for a moment, but you hesitantly reach for his hand. And you hold hands for a while until you spoke up.

“We can move at our own pace. We don’t have to rush into things.”

His eyes which were previously focused on a spot on the mattress between you now shifted to your face. His brows twitched together for a moment before he shifted his gaze to the wall behind you. 

Hurt, “I’m sorry. I hurt you again.” You could see a tear fall from his face, his breath hazardous.

You pull on his hand, tying and failing to bring him closer to you. “But you didn’t mean to. You wanted to make me happy, and believe me, I was.”

“I didn’t mean to but when you were unresponsive I looked into your mind. I needed to know you were all right.”  
You were startled.”What did you see?”

He pulled his hand from yours and stood. His back was to you now. “Your discovery last night.” His voice was a mix of hurt, disgust, and anger. 

“It’s not like I went looking for it,” you felt hurt by his reaction--his accusation. 

He turned to you, his chest now puffed with anger lurking in his eyes. “No, but you found out.”

You were confused. This man just minutes ago, or was it hours, was kissing you, making your heart soar, but now it felt like it shattered into a million pieces. Your eyes drifted to your lap before you pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake.” you wanted to shrink, to shrink down so small that you could get lost between the threads of the sheets beneath you, between the threads of reality.

But Kylo’s reaction changed, you were expecting anger, but you were met with a hand on your cheek pulling up your face from where you had it buried between your knees. The hand you swore to memorize caressed your face, gone was the anger that he was just feeling. He crawled up to you, pulling you to his wide chest tucking your head into his neck. “I know.” His voice was now soft and quiet. It felt like a different person was speaking. 

You stayed like that for a long time, until a weird beeping sound made him loosen his grip on you. He pulled out a small device from his pocket. General Hux’s voice came through, “Supreme Leader, I have yet to receive word from Lieutenant Mitaka on whether or not Lady Ren will be joining me for her tutoring session.”

You groaned and felt for your phone to find the time, it was 1:55 PM, your tutoring sessions usually started at 2 PM. You had yet to have lunch, and you suspected that Kylo hadn’t eaten either, because of recent events.

“She will not be joining you, tell the lieutenant to get a debriefing from the medical ward to keep in his file,” said Kylo into the device that he then put on the side table. 

Your stomach growled signifying your lack of sustenance. There was a small smirk of amusement on Kylo’s face his eyes filled with mirth. 

“Can we order food?”

You heard a small chuckle escape him that was enough to rock his broad chest. His hand shot out in front of you and his data pad appeared in his hand, or more like flew into his hand. He handed it to you and shift your positions on the bed. He was now the one laying back on the pillows by the headboard. Your back against his chest with tangled legs. His large hands splayed across your stomach.   
You scrolled through the food options, although you were hungry you were taking your time. You settled on some sort of rice dish, that by the description reminded you of Chinese or Thai food. You asked Kylo what he wanted to eat. This time you were able to keep the data pad in your hands as he scrolled through the list of food choices. You took that moment to admire his long fingers, they were almost comically large and long. When he was finished he hit order and returned his hand to your stomach which promptly growled. He chuckled again. 

His nose buried itself in your hair. You could feel his lips brush your scalp and a shiver went down your spine. He let out an amused hum. One of his index fingers started tracing a circle into you. His breathing had slowed, had calmed. You glanced up at him, his eyes were closed and he had a pleasant look on his face. This put a smile on your face. 

A droid came in with your food. Kylo insisted that you do not move from the bed and you ate there. You did as he wished. Eating lunch in a pleasant silence. When the droid left with your trash you shifted in your position. 

Your ear was now to his chest listening to his heartbeat, your hand joining you. Kylo’s hand was on your hip. His other hand was now moving back and forth across your shoulders. 

That hand after a while shifted to stroke up and down your back. His hand started to drift lower and lower, skimming the top of the back of your pants. Shifting your shirt up to graze the small strip of free skin there. You felt hot once more with jolts of electricity shooting up your spine. 

You shifted your head to look up at him. “We can’t.”

“I know.” His hand then moved to hold your ribcage. He shifted his face once more to your hair. His thumb now rubbing circles into your ribs. The hand that was on your hip moved to caress your cheek. His long fingers wrapping themselves in your hair. He tilts your face up to meet his. 

He glances at your lips and back to your eyes. You were just an inch apart from your lips meeting. His eyes were staring deep into your soul. Just when you think he’s going in to kiss you he shifts, his lips landing on your forehead. Your heart speeds up. 

Out of breath, because you didn’t realize you were holding it until now, “We can’t.”

He whispers, “I know.” His lips shift up to your hair once more. His cheek now resting against your crown. 

“I want to wait. I want the moment to be just right. I want to know you, to really know you. And then to forget where you end and I begin. I don’t want to rush.” As you said this you traced and imaginary line down his sternum. 

You felt him shift, for his lips to be in your hair again and then for his forehead to the top of your head. He let out a sigh, “I know.” The hand that was on your face shifted he hooked a finger under your chin pulling your face up once more. This time his thumb ran over your lips as his eyes shifted back and forth from your lips to your eyes. He was asking permission. 

You gulp, your breath hitched, you but your lip and slowly nodded. He leaned in stopping only an inch from your lips. He asked, “may I?” He was asking permission again. 

You closed your eyes and whispered, “Yes.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My responsibilities have changed. I promise that the chapters will now be up by no later than 2 PM CST. They may be up before 11 AM CST like normal, but for the foreseeable future, my upload deadline is 2 PM. 
> 
> I apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause, but things have changed for me at home and I need to take care of them. 
> 
> Thanks.


	30. Taking Your Breath Away

Frankly, the kiss was something out of old Hollywood. A very  [ Gone With The Wind  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74kz5K70iAo) inspired kiss. A kiss that made your whole body melt, if Kylo wasn’t holding you right now surely you would be lost into a puddle on the floor. 

The kiss deepened, your mind went haywire and then blank. His tongue met your lower lip, begging for admittance. You complied. He roamed your mouth with his tongue touching, tasting everything. 

You were on fire. 

Your tongues danced in your mouth. His exploring and dominating, yours sharing and caressing. You finally have to break apart to breathe, both of you out of breath, but hungry. Hungry for more intimacy, hungry for more interaction. But you were still feeling rather faint. Your head was swirling.

Kylo immediately sensed this and shifted to have you lay back down. No longer on top of him as you were but now just cradled in his arms, by his side. His nose was buried in your hair once more, inhaling your scent. 

“See I told you we need to wait.”

He chuckled a true deep chuckle. He moved to rest his forehead against yours looking into your eyes, “I know and we will. I would wait out all of eternity for you, Kitten.” There was amusement in his tone that shared the look that was in his eyes. 

That was the first time he called you anything other than your name or title of Lady Ren. 

“Kitten,” you ask. 

He smirked at you, “Yes, because you curl up on my lap so nicely.”

You swear your face was aflame. “If I recall you are always the one who draws me into your lap.”

“Yes, but you said I get to keep you. If you think I am going to let you go then you are mistaken.” There was still some humor in his voice but his eyes were now hiding a bit of darkness behind them.

“Where would I even go,” you ask jokingly.

“Somewhere where I can’t protect you.” He didn’t take it as a joke. He was now very serious and you were unsure what to do. 

“How about a deal, I only call you Kylo when we are alone and you only call me Kitten when we are alone.”

“We already had a deal with my name,” he said furrowing his eyebrows but a smirk hinting on his lips once more. 

“Then how about this, I’ll promise to kiss you goodnight every night if you only call me kitten when we are alone.”

He chuckled again. “You drive a hard bargain kitten.” He then kissed your forehead. 

“So it’s a deal?”

“It’s a deal,” he then pulled you back into his chest holding you close once more. His hand made its way to your entangle itself in your hair. You closed your eyes. You tried to burn this feeling into your DNA.

You stayed like that for a while keeping each other close. You broke the silence first. 

“We have dinner tonight with your knights right,” you ask

“We can postpone that if you wish. Like the doctor said you need to rest.” This was coming from the man who minutes ago was taking your breath away. 

“I’m pretty sure I can handle dinner. As long as they mind their manners and don’t stay too long I should be fine.” 

“I think the Allegiant General would be thankful if you helped them mind their manners,” he said with amusement in his voice. 

“I thought knights were supposed to be chivalrous and gentlemanly,” you said confused. 

“Maybe on your planet but my knights are men who are good at what they do, and what they do is fight. They are a group of eclectic warriors who serve me. They enforce my will outside of the First Order’s hierarchy. They each have their own strengths and skills that make them effective in what they do, but manners and chivalry are not one of them. But I suppose they will have to behave themselves around a lady. Especially when that lady is you.” He placed another kiss on your forehead.

“But they are important to you, your knights?” 

“Yes, in many ways. They are the first people who I can call a home of sorts. They took me in when I was a boy, they helped mold me into who I am now. They are my brothers in arms, loyal to me until death.” You could tell he was speaking from his heart, even if he couldn’t. They mean a lot to him.

“Do you think they will like me?”

“If they don’t they won’t live to say anything about it. I am their master and you are my match. I shall give them the order to protect you until their dying breath and they will follow it. In fact, they will be replacing Commander Pyre as your usual escort, Pyre was only temporary. The knights and I are permanent.”

You thought about what he said. You knew that people may be less comfortable around these knights. After all, they did his bidding what that bidding was you could only guess. From the picture in the pamphlet, you knew that somehow a stormtrooper looked more friendly. 

“Well if they are anything like you I am sure I will like them,” you said confidently. 

He chuckled at this. “Don’t hold your breath.” 

You hummed in response going back and listening to his heartbeat again. Somehow you felt that this was the tempo that the universe ran on. At least your universe anyways. You stayed like that for a while.

“Where were they before they got here,” you ask. 

“They have been stationed on the  _ Supremacy _ for the last week. Before that, they were on various missions. Sometimes I go with them, other times they all go without me, and or I split them up for certain missions.” 

“Where is the  _ Supremacy _ ?”

“Orbiting around the planet that you call mars. Currently, we are researching what can be mined there. Your people have been looking at it as a planet to which humans may be able to survive on. The planet is rich in many valuable minerals and metals. It is also a plus that currently no one inhabits the planet so we don’t have to ask permission.” There was a mischievous look in his eyes as he said this. 

“Well, I’m sorry you have to ask permission here,” you jokingly respond. 

“The only person’s permission I am after truly is yours. If you weren’t here I can promise you that we would have just taken what we wanted.” His eyes were now scanning your face. 

“And so the people don’t matter?” 

“Not if they get in the way of the First Order no. We are doing what we are doing for the good of the galaxy if they fail to see this then so be it. I won’t be the knight that saves them.”

You took this seriously. You were the one protecting Earth now, you were its defender. You know you can’t fight with fists or guns because you are not as strong as the entirety of the galaxy. But you could fight with heart. You could make sure that Earth was safe by reasoning with the First Order, or more so the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Was freedom really the price to pay to keep your planet and people safe? Did freedom matter when lives were at stake during a galactic war? Or would you fight for freedom once it was all over? You didn’t know the answer.

“But will you be my knight, my protector?”

“Always. I would rather die than to see you get hurt.” He was serious in his proclamation. As he said before, he would like you to wield his blade for you. He wanted to give you the power to mold the galaxy, through his hand. 

“Mmmm. My knight. You have no idea how many girls would be thrilled to be able to say that.” you mused. 

“Well, then I have good news. Tonight you will be dining with six eligible bachelors who would love to hear that,” voice filled with humor. 

“Only six? I count seven men.”

“Well, unfortunately, one of them deems himself taken with his beautiful match whom he has promised the galaxy one day.”

You burst into a full smile, not only did hee consider you an actual thing, he called you beautiful. Your heart was happy. You quickly stole a kiss from his lips, which he groaned into but sighed once it was over. 

“When are they suppose to get here?”

“In about an hour, we should lie here until then.” If you thought you were close before he pulled you even closer, his arms were like steel beams--unmoveable. 

“I would like to get ready, I’m pretty sure I look like crap and I kinda want to change into something to meet them.” 

“You don’t look like crap, you could never look like crap.” But he groaned and released you from his arms. 

You attempted to get up, your legs feeling unsure under your body. Kylo was quick to assist you to stand. Once you were firmly on your feet you moved to your room to where you thanked him and assured him that you would be fine. 

You went about fixing your self up, nothing too much but your hair was kind of a mess. You changed into an outfit that you would wear to nice dinners with your family. Nothing too fancy but also nothing too risqué.

It only took you about 15 minutes to get ready but you were feeling the weight of the morning and your fainting spell catching up to you. You left your room bracing your self on the door. Kylo was right there waiting. You took his arm and he escorted you to the living room where you sit down on the loveseat. He put his arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes. You stayed like that until there was a beep at the door. 

Kylo moved to get up and answered the door. He stepped aside and six tall masked men entered your living room. They all had a unique look to them but they looked similar in many ways. You were intimated by them as they all looked very scary. 

Kylo seemed to sense this and ordered them to remove their helmets. You were surprised that they were all humans. They were all older than him, just as unique as their masks. One bald, some had scars littering their faces, another had a tattoo on his face all different but all similar. 

You were unsure of what to say. “Uh, hello.” 

There was a group laugh, one of the older knights recommended, “Why don’t we introduce ourselves dollface. I am Ushar.”

“Ap’lek.”

“Vicrul.”

“Trudgen.”

“Kuruk.”

“Cardo.”

“I am y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you.” There were nods in agreement. Kylo took your arm and lead you all to the dining room. You were unsure how this dinner was going to go. 


	31. A Dinner to Remember

You took your seats. Kylo was of course of was at the head of the table and you were seat next to him. The others took the remaining seats but Ushar was at the end of the table. 

“Everything has been ordered already we will just have to wait until the food gets here,” said Kylo.

You took this moment to ask, “So were are you all from?”

Ap’lek spoke up, “All of us were born somewhere on different planets but unlike you sweetheart, we don’t exactly call them home. So it really doesn’t matter.”

You bit your lip in confusion. So they had no home, but from what Kylo had said they at least had each other. 

“So Kylo informed me that you are all single, on earth being a Knight is somewhat of a turn on,” you joked. 

“You making us an offer sugar,” asked Cardo with a suggestive smirk. 

You were taken aback at this question, blushing at the suggestion. But before you could answer Kylo did for you. “She isn’t a prize and you best remember that before you end up on the wrong side of my saber.” He was serious and firm, a threatening tone in his voice.

“It’s just a joke boss, no harm done,” said Vicrul holding up his hands in surrender. 

One of Kylo’s eyes twitched and his jaw clenched. “What were you saying about the knights here though, that they are….chivalrous and gentlemanly. I think that would be a matter of improvement for you all.”

“We will follow your lead boss,” said Kuruk. You could tell they liked pushing his buttons a bit, you didn’t exactly why but you knew they might just like messing with him when they can--like brothers. 

“I suppose you could all take some notes from the Allegiant General then,” you said with a smirk of your own. 

You could tell that this was not something they liked hearing. Kylo suppressed a chuckle while the others glared at you for a second before shifting their eyes to him. He was now wearing a half-smirk on his face. 

Before anyone could say anything two droids came in with carts full of food and drinks. They served you all at an amazing speed. 

“So why don’t you like the general,” you asked curiously while starting to dig into your appetizer.

“You mean the sniveling little bastard that walks around in daddy’s uniform? The feeling is mutual between us. He has a stick shoved so far up his ass the blood flow has turned his hair red. He doesn’t like us because when we come back from missions we track dirt onto his ‘clean’ starships. He calls us dogs and hates that we don’t shit our shoes to anal perfection. What is there to like,” asked Ushar. 

“I can’t respect a man who hasn’t spent any time in the trenches. He gives his orders from the safety of his precious starship. He despises actually getting his hands dirty, he always orders others to do his work for him,” said Kuruk.

“I see. I’m sorry for asking,” you said. 

Kylo’s hand was a clenched fist on the table, he wasn’t happy about the conversation. 

“It’s best to stick to things you shouldn’t be sticking your nose into, Pet. How about something like baking and babymaking,” said Cardo. 

In a flash, Cardo’s back was against the wall and he was clutching his throat, choking. “Maybe you are dogs because you certainly need to learn how to obey your master and heel,” asked Kylo through gritted teeth. 

Cardo choked out, “I’m sorry boss, it won’t happen again.” And his body slid to the floor he was gasping for air. 

“Make sure of it. It is your life that is on the line. This is the final warning for all of you. Next time it will be my saber.” Kylo was furious. His breath was uneven and he was clenching his fists. 

“Kylo it’s alright, it’s not the first time something like this has happened and it really doesn’t bother me by this point,” you said trying to calm him down. 

“They should know better,” he said gesturing to the knights. “They all should know better,” he said gesturing to the rest of the ship. 

You move to place a hand on his arm, “why don’t we just try to calm down?” You were trying to appeal to him, “why don’t we finish eating?”

Kylo eventually gave in and you all resumed eating now turning to the main course. You tried changing the subject. “How did training go for you all this morning?” You were hopeful that they would all take the hint to be friendly and civil.

“We got our asses kicked, but that usually happens when we spar with the boss,” said Ushar.   
“If your sparing is anything like what Captain Phasma and Commander Pyre did the other morning then I would like to see it sometime.”

“The silver captain is a very formidable opponent. She and the golden commander are the only ones who are even worth trying to spar with outside the knights,” said Ap’lek.

“If the boss agrees with it you should watch us tomorrow morning,” asked Vicrul.

Kylo nodded in agreement. “I take my morning debriefings during our training, so you’ll be accompanied by most of the First Order High Command and other various high ranking officers. But it shouldn’t be a problem if you are willing to get up early enough.”

“How early is early,” you ask. 

“6:00 hours. I am usually up by 5:30 hours and take breakfast afterward,” said Kylo.

“I think that is something I can manage.”

There was a shared chuckle around the table. The droids took away your plates and served desert. Most of the knights seemed rather enthusiastic about this, you had a feeling some of them had a couple of sweet-tooths.

“You seem to be only asking about us m’lady. Why don’t you tell us about yourself? After all, the boss has made it clear that we are your new bodyguards,” asked Ushar. Who seemed to be the unspoken leader in the group, he was visibly the oldest too. 

This took you by a bit of a surprise. You wiped your lips on a napkin before asking, “what would you like to know?” 

“How about your favorite flower,” asked Trudgen this was his first time speaking all night. He looked to the others for confirmation, “women like flowers right?”

You chuckled. The old Russian saying, ‘what the priest is like, so is the church’ seemed to be true. “Why don’t you ask your boss that question?”

“_____ her favorite flower is ____,” he mumbled in response. 

They seemed confused by your laughter. “That is the first question he really asked me.”

“So, the boss has got as little game as Trudgen,” said Kuruk. The other guys seemed to laugh at both of their expenses. 

“I wouldn’t say that. There is a large beautiful bouquet next to my bed of them,” you responded jovially.

Ushar leans back in his chair, “so the kid does have game. Who would’ve thought?” 

Kylo repeats the action challenging the elder, “Better game than you and you know it.” There was a smirk on his face and a certain gleam in his eye. 

“Makes sense, but you know not everyone has your natural talent,” challenged the old man.

Kylo’s smirk tightened, the other knights held their breath. You were missing something but you didn’t know what. 

“You’re right my old friend. Don’t you forget it.” His eyebrow twitched. You could tell whatever you were missing was something that if pushed hard enough would certainly anger him again. 

Trudgen spoke again, you could tell he was the least confident in speaking to you. “What about your favorite color?”

You smiled at him, thankful that he was trying to cut the tension in the room. “It’s ______, it reminds me of ________. It’s always made me happy.” It worked the tension released.

“Do you like sweets,” asked Trudgen. 

“Yes, but not as much as you all I see.” At this, some of them blushed knowing they were guilty. 

Ap’lek put his hands up, “You caught us when you fight in the trenches most of your life you develop an appreciation for them.”

“Especially when most of the time you eat crap for food,” agreed Vicrul. 

You chuckled at their honesty. They seemed to be much more comfortable around you now than when they first came in. But you were starting to feel exhausted the entirety of the day catching up to you again.

“I think its best that you all go,” said Kylo noticing your exhaustion. 

They all thanked you for the meal and went to the living room to collect their helmets. They left saying their goodbye’s and saying that they would see you in the morning. 

Kylo turned to you, “what did you think Kitten?”

“I think they are all nice guys, just a bit rough around the edges. It might do them some good having to guard me, they might pick up a thing or two about being gentlemen.”

Kylo smirked at your response, he wrapped an arm around you and kissed your forehead. You definitely enjoyed his new confidence in showing affection. You smiled but felt very tired. 

“Why don’t you head to bed early, you had a long, rough day and you could use the rest. Plus you promised them you would be at training early in the morning and they don’t like to be disappointed.” He guided you up the stairs and to your room. You opened the door and started to head in before he caught your arm. 

“Now Kitten, you haven’t forgotten our deal already, have you?” There was amusement in his tone and a smirk on his face. 

You leaned in only to give a peck, but he caught you and took your breath away. You made a mental note to never forget a goodnight kiss, especially if they were going to be as good as this one.

You said your goodnights and you got ready for bed. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come. Knowing that you were going to watch him train was getting you hot all over once again, but you shook your head at the thought. You both promised to wait, and you would, but at least you were sure you would enjoy tomorrow’s performance. 

You set your alarm early and messaged Lieutenant Mitaka your plans before you drifted off to sleep.

  



	32. A Morning Exercise

Your alarm woke you up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 AM. You rolled out of bed and started to get ready. At 5:45 you were finished and left your room. The lieutenant was waiting for you in the living room like usual, as was Kylo who was wearing a similar outfit as the morning before except this time he was wearing a white tank instead of a black one. 

“Good morning, are you ready to head to the training room? It is halfway across the ship, so we should get going,” asked Kylo.

“Yes,” you replied excitedly.

He took your arm and you left. You made your ways through the halls and you were surprised to see that there were little to know officers and ‘troopers roaming about. You supposed that the ship really only wakes up at around 6:00 AM, as it was still Alpha shift. You made your way to a room with a larger than a normal door.

Entering the room you notice a large number of generals and other high-level officers on the outside of a large training area. Many of the high-ranking officers had lower-level officers by their sides, much like your own Lieutenant Mitaka. 

Kylo released you next to Allegiant General Hux, who greeted you kindly. “Good morning m’lady, my suggestion to you this time around would be to place credits on the Supreme Leader.”

You laughed at his suggestion, and then promptly yawned as you had yet to have any coffee.

“Shall I order you stimcaf m’lady,” asked the redheaded general. 

“Stimcaf? Is that like coffee?”

“Yes, m’lady but with a much higher caffeine count.”

“Yes, please” you groaned out. Which earned a hearty chuckle from the general who turned to his aide. 

Within a few minutes, a junior officer appeared with a steaming cup of dark liquid in their hand. You thanked them and proceeded to wait for the sparring to begin. Kylo was discussing something with an officer and then turned to the knights to begin. 

If you thought watching Captain Phasma and Commander Pyre was amazing, it had nothing on what you were witnessing now. 

Kylo was monstrously strong. 

They were sparing like the captain and the commander with metal staffs and dull swords. It was six against one at the moment, Kylo was showing his strength and dominance by easily maneuvering out of the way of any oncoming hits. Something about the way he was moving and dodging was magical. You couldn’t have paid the best ballerinas in Paris to move more gracefully than the knights and him. They put The Nutcracker to shame.

All while they were fighting various officers were giving Kylo updates on things around the First Order and he was responding in time. He was truly a marvel to watch.

Even though you thought it might be impossible seeing as the knights were all really strong, somehow Kylo was even stronger. He was broader and taller than his knights, but the strength comes mainly from his chest, shoulders, and thighs. You wondered how his massive hands might help his overall strength. 

Although they were all graceful Kylo seemed more refined in the way he fought, but very ferociously. His whole body was an extension of the weapon in his hand, his sword. He was deadly, you wondered how many people have faced him on the battle and lived, you doubted if there were very many if at all. 

You watched as they all tried to attack him at once he took them down with calculated efficiency without any obvious use of the Force. Cardo and Ushar were sent down to the floor, Ap’lek and Trudgen flew back to the wall, Kuruk and Vicrul were sent stumbling back into a group of officers who thought they were a safe distance away.

You failed to notice General Pryde come up alongside you, opposite to Hux. “Magnificent to watch isn’t he,” asked Pryde.

You were startled before you agreed. 

“Unlike many in the First Order now, I had the glorious opportunity to watch his grandfather, Lord Vader, fight. They have many similarities. It was truly an honor to watch,” said Pryde. There was something disturbing in the way he was watching the training. Somehow he had an air of lust for the power that Kylo held, it rather disturbed you. 

“Now Pryde her history lessons are with me after lunch. There is no need to plague her with your useless ideals of the past,” said Hux sneering toward the man. 

You could tell that Pryde was holding his tongue, probably as to not get in trouble so soon after the last time. He bowed and stepped away from you joining the Admiral Griss in a discussion with another officer. 

“It would do you best to avoid him for now, I don’t believe he has truly learned his lesson yet,” said Hux who then gave some sort of order to his aide.  
A female officer who appeared to be a general gave out the debrief of, “Yesterday was the last day of registration on earth. Currently, we still have less than 1 percent of the population that needs to register. The unregistered seemed to be mostly from populations that are normally inaccessible from earth’s records. Might I suggest that we send in a company of ‘troopers to each location.”

“You said they were typically inaccessible? These are mostly people who have little to no contact with the outside world. Sending in stormtroopers would only lead them to panic and possibly attacking them. You should consult with an anthropologist before proceeding to make contact,” you responded to the general. 

Kylo paused in his sparring and the other officers paused in what they were doing. All eyes were on you. There was a look of confusion on his face, but before he spoke General Hux spoke upcoming to your aid. “Why do you suggest this m’lady?”

“I am assuming some of the people you have yet to come into contact are various tribes from around the world. They still might be using bows and arrows and have no idea what electricity is. They may even still worship the sun as a god. They also do not tend to have any papers of any kind or they may not even have any sort of writing system. Our governments leave them alone for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is they do not have the same inherent immunity to some diseases so unless you vaccinate them immediately they may all die soon. They are an important part of history on this planet and should be disturbed as little as possible,” you said. 

“But these people will have to follow the will of the First Order,” said the female general pleading to the Supreme Leader. 

Kylo took what you said into consideration before saying, “You heard Lady Ren. Unless I dispute her, what she says goes.”

“And what of the people who are not in these tribes? There is a large portion of people out in the state of Utah who refuse to register and some many others across your planet. What are we to do with them,” asked the general still seemingly indignant. 

“Well by the way you are describing it, I believe you are discussing a cult. I personally have no problem with sending in stormtroopers unannounced to them. In my opinion, they have it coming to them. If there are any small groups or families that have failed to register I would do the same thing by sending ‘troopers to them,” you said.

This seemed to pacify the female general sufficiently and Kylo resumed his sparring with the knights after a head-nod to you. You were happy with your minor victory.

“Well done m’lady, not many are able to stand their ground with General Parnadee,” said Hux quietly with approval. Everyone seemed to turn back to what they were doing before your interruption.

“Thank you general. I will take that as a compliment.”

“As you should m’lady. You have done better than anyone has expected you to do,” said Hux with a slight bounce of pride. 

You gave him a smile and a nod. At this time the knights and Kylo had ceased sparing. Each of the knights seemed to try to catch their collective breaths while Kylo seamed already collected. He approached you and you could now see the nice sheen that his sweat had created on his skin. He was glowing. 

“Shall we return for breakfast,” asked Kylo holding out his arm to you. 

You nodded, words failing you as you marveled in his glow. He guided you through the halls which were now filling with people but unlike when he wears his mask, people were giving him a much wider berth. You wondered if there was a rule against seeing him without his mask or if it was just a faux pas. 

You were back at your chambers and went immediately to the dining room to order breakfast and coffee for the lieutenant. Your breakfasts came and you enjoyed them before the lieutenant gave you your morning schedule update.

“Today you have a long heath committee meeting that starts earlier today at 9:00 hours. The Supreme Leader will be in attendance. This meeting will also be a luncheon. After the meeting, you are to return to the ship to receive an extra hour of tutoring to make up for yesterday. Then you have dinner with the Supreme Leader as normal. Is there anything you would like to add m’lady,” asked Mitaka.

“The only thing I would like to add to that schedule is several orders of stimcaf.” This received a shy chuckle from the lieutenant and a smirk from Kylo who got up and headed to his room to shower away his morning sweat. 

Kylo was in and out of the shower in a matter of a few minutes. You were both ready to go at 8:30 for your shuttle descent to the surface. You were joined by Ap’lek and Kuruk as your guards and Hux was still the general escorting you to your meeting.

You knew that this meeting would be worlds different from the others for the simple fact that Kylo had decided to join you. You were worried about what it would mean and the outcome. As he had said earlier, what you say goes unless he disputes it. But what if he disputes everything you say? You were not ready for that. You held out hope that you would still be able to fight for your planet. Even if that meant fighting Kylo for it. 


	33. The End of the Committee

You, Kylo, the lieutenant, and the general enter the room. If you thought everyone was on their best behavior for the general, then they were trying to act like saints in the presence of the Supreme Leader. You were sure that it was mostly fear rather than respect that they held for him. 

You took your normal seat as did the general, but Kylo took the seat at the head of the conference room table where Dr. Koroban normally sat and the doctor sat next to you replacing the lieutenant who now stood behind you against the wall. Even though the lieutenant was not by your side he was still doing his job, seeing as a fresh cup of stimcaf was placed in front of you. 

Usually, before the meetings began there was light chatter, not this time. The room was dead with silence before Dr. Koroban spoke, “it is an honor to be joined by you today Supreme Leader, we much look forward to seeing what you do with all of the work that this committee has done.” 

Kylo, ever so intimidating just raised his head and simply ordered, “proceed.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. On the agenda today we will be discussing mandatory vaccinations and exercise. Along with wrapping up the entirety of the committee,” said Dr. Koroban.

“Shall we start with the mandatory vaccinations,” asked Dr. Dabrini. Of everyone in the room, he, Dr. Koroban, and the general seemed most relaxed in Kylo’s presence. All of the other officers and medical staff were sitting ramrod straight in their chairs and seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. 

“That should be the best course of action. What are the current standards right now on the planet,” asked Hux. You could tell that he was reading the room as he was saying it. As a way to help ease the tension from the lower officers. 

“Currently vaccination requirements are all over the place on the planet. Every military requires up to date immunization for their soldiers, but the country with the most rigorous policy is that of Slovenia. While a medical exemption request can be submitted to a committee, such an application for reasons of religion or conscience wouldn’t be acceptable and isn’t allowed,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“So, according to First Order Health Standards and Procedures, this will drastically need to change. But I believe we already knew that. Currently, most people have willingly received their vaccinations through the health stations, but it remains to be seen how many of them will need to be mandated into receiving them,” said a higher-ranking officer. With Kylo remaining to be quiet you could tell some of the officers were becoming more comfortable by the minute. 

“Lady Ren, what is your take on this,” asked Hux. Kylo’s helmet turned towards you previously he seemed to be staring at the wall ahead of him. Because of the helmet, you were unsure as to if he was paying attention or not, but he sure was now at least to you.

“I currently don’t have a problem with mandatory vaccinations. Unless someone has a health reason to be exempt from vaccinations, in any case, those people should be protected by the herd immunity effect. As that is who herd immunity is supposed to protect. I’m all for these mandatory vaccinations so go right ahead,” you said. If you could see Kylo’s eyes you were pretty sure they were dead set on you. When you were finished speaking he nodded and everyone took this for approval. 

“We shall do just that m’lady,” said Dr. Koroban. “Shall we move on to exercise before lunch is served?” He looked around for approval, everyone nodded in agreement except for Hux and Kylo who were just looking at you. 

“Yes, I believe last time I voiced my concerns for mandatory exercise, especially in private homes. Now I haven’t seen how the First Order education affects most people on this planet but I can promise you that making a mandatory exercise regime for citizens in their private lives will not end well,” you were trying to be confident. “I think that a suggested regime may be something you need to consider, it will go over better all-around. Many nations found suggestions better in past war efforts than everything being mandatory, especially in private homes.”

“But m’lady there is a desperate need for weightloss reform in many of your ‘first world’ countries, we need to do something more, something obligatory. Otherwise, there will be no change. We need exercise to go along with diet, nothing will change for these people unless we do it for them,” said a high-ranking officer.

“I didn’t say you had to do nothing, just leave the mandated watching out of it. Maybe there is a need for an incentive program. Something for people to get excited about. Maybe something like their name rolling across the broadcast screen at the end of a successful month? Something they can brag about to their friends. It might even start competitions to see who is a better citizen, keeping up with the jones as we like to say,” you responded. You knew that they wouldn’t give it up so easily. You were just hoping that they could make people think that they had freedom, even if the way things were starting to look like they didn’t. 

“You believe it to be that simple,” asked the general. You could hear the doubt in his voice even if you didn’t see the doubt in his eyes. 

“No, I don’t but this directly deals with behavior in a different way than many of the other things we have discussed. This program will need readjusting as it goes along. You will need to evaluate consistently, maybe the reward will need to be bigger, maybe eventually it needs to become mandatory, but implementing another mandatory thing that affects behavior will not help you right now,” you countered. Even though you didn’t know how the general populace was feeling right now you had no doubt that people might be scared. You were worried for them, the general populace, you were at least safe by Kylo’s side, with his nights, or onboard the ship, but you couldn’t say that for others. 

“I see. So we do as you suggest for let’s say six months then we readjust to figure out if making it mandatory is necessary. I think we could agree to postpone it for at least those six months, but only with the Supreme Leader’s approval,” said Dr. Koroban who then turned his head to look at Kylo for approval. 

Kylo didn’t turn to acknowledge the man sitting next to you. Throughout the whole discussion, his attention was placed firmly on you, however, he waved his hand to acknowledge that he was fine with the decision made by the  _ Finalizer’s  _ doctor. 

“Well then we better move on to lunch before we start our wrap up,” said Dr. Koroban. He then made a motion to one of the junior officers who let in a group of them carrying crome cloches and large platters. 

Everyone had been served and the junior officers removed the cloches on everyone’s food except Kylo’s. You watched as the younger officers looked to the doctors and the general as to what to do, they all began to eat so they took it as a sign to do so. You were not comfortable with this. Kylo was going to keep his helmet on the whole time? No, you were going to fix this.

You turned to the junior officer behind you, waiting on you and asked her if she could bring your plate down to the red sitting room. “Supreme Leader, would you like to join me in the Red Room for lunch seeing as we won’t be discussing anything until afterward?”

Kylo merely nodded and gestured to the junior officer behind him to take his lunch as well. You got up and left the room heading down the hall to your usual sitting room. The junior officers and Kylo were right behind you along with another junior officer bringing a table. They set up your lunch and left before shutting the door. 

They left you alone with Kylo.

He took off his mask before saying, “Thank you, although it isn’t the first time I have had to skip a meal in the presence of others.” He then started to dig into the rather delicious looking meal that had been served. 

You were shocked, but you laughed despite it. “I don’t think you should be skipping eating at a health committee meeting, seems pretty contradictory don’t you think?”

Kylo looked up through his lashes at you from while leaning over his plate, “you’re right. But I need to keep up appearances. One of the reasons why my knights and I wear the mask is for intimidation and power. The reason why I wear it to meetings is that people question me less, Hux is one of the few who has the guts to question my tactics while it is on.”

“And do you appreciate that? That he has the guts to do so?”

“Some times, other times he can be rather annoying,” he sniggered out. 

You could tell by his relaxed posture that he was enjoying himself. He carried himself differently even if he didn’t like to think so. You were happy that you two had this moment in the middle of the stressful meeting, but you knew it was going to come to an end soon as you both finished your lunches and would have to head back into the meeting. 

You and Kylo stood, he took your arm and then placed his helmet on his head with one hand. You wondered if he used the Force for assistance or if his hands were so large that he didn’t need the help. Either way, a part of you was sad when the helmet went on. It was like clouds covering the beauty of the moon, and you an evening primrose desperate for its gleam to touch your petals. All you wanted to do was dance in his night but you needed to return to the day, to the meeting.

You could hear light chatter from outside the room which died as soon as you both entered. His helmet and his presence seemed to be working to their full effect. You took your respective seats. 

“With your permission Supreme Leader, we should begin,” said Dr. Koroban.

Kylo simply waved his hand once more and almost everyone in the room shifted in their chairs, 

“Currently we have made an effort to produce programs on health. Things like daily hygiene, healthy eating, sickness prevention, and injury prevention. We have also discussed sex and reproductive safety, this has been dealt with now completely by the  _ Supremacy  _ as per the Supreme Leader’s orders _.  _ We have decided today that we will have mandatory forced vaccinations, with the exception of medical needs. And we have decided on an exercise regime that will need to be evaluated throughout its course,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“With the help of Lady Ren and Petty Officer Tanau we sent off a number of posters and videos as examples to the  _ Supremacy.  _ They answered back with many notes and several campaigns to start here on earth,” said Dr. Koroban. 

A projector then started to reveal a presentation on the walls around you. First up was a poster for daily hygiene. “While we may use some of the posters that have been sent, the  _ Supremacy  _ has made some of their own as you can see here and here. They agreed with the videos that were sent over as other research on this planet seems to favor the old-time nostalgia that these might bring,” said Dr. Dabrini. 

The projector then went to show the various [posters](https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/613586768473800704/if-you-would-like-one-of-these-posters-as-a-pdf) that had been sent over previously, “while we now these sicknesses prevention techniques could be expanded upon, we think starting with school-aged children will be the best option as they spread sickness around the most,” said Dr. Koroban. 

“Injury prevention has lead to videos like this  [ one ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCHYWE50s3c) and this  [ one ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViXh9O87SJ0) . Along with the need for every industry to have its own safety precautions. But as Lady Ren pointed out there are government agencies that already do this very well. The  _ Supremacy  _ has only made one example poster for this. They will be working with the agencies in place to bring the safety up to First Order Standards,” said Dr. Dabrini. 

“That should conclude all health and safety topics, does this meet your approval Supreme Leader,” asked Dr. Koroban. 

Kylo’s vocoder stated out a harsh, “yes” to answer the aging doctor’s question. There was a look of pride on the doctor’s face, a look that seemed as if you just told him that he had cured cancer. Almost to overjoyed. 

“That concludes the Health Committee. I would like to thank everyone’s helo on this, especially that of you Lady Ren. The planet here will be healthier because of us,” said Dr. Koroban in conclusion.

You all stood up to leave. Everyone waited for the Supreme Leader to leave first, he then just paused next to you taking your arm. You entered the hallway and were greeted by General Pryde.“Supreme Leader I have the list of behavioral videos that you and the rest of the First Order High Command have requested. It will only take a few minutes for you to approve them, I have already run them by the Allegiant General.” 

General Hux paused near you, “I have already confirmed that the list of videos would be most beneficial for the populace. The posters are what need the most of your approval. A few simple new recruitment ones based off of similar ones found here on this planet. This one that deals with finding members of the Resistance and one on Stormtrooper behavior.” Pryde handed Kylo a datapad with a list of recruitment posters and videos.

[ Let’s be Good Citizen’s at School (1953) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WetQOhrnitA)

[ Are You a Good Citizen? (1949) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQpzUdu150I)

[ Law and Social Controls (1949) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMv_utUPoWo)

[ School Rules ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMTFwls_4rM&t=148s)

[ Improve Your Personality (1951) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvFF9NlRlxQ&t=211s)

[ Everyday Manners  ](https://youtu.be/Q-6MrzHWBuk)

[ Right or Wrong ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFWJF41WBh4)

[ How to Keep a Job (1949) ](https://youtu.be/XV6QieHZT70)

[ You and Your Work (1948) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETe8ZREb0AM)

[ Personality and Emotions (1954 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dleUiM616y8) )

[ Habit Patterns (1954) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GTBMGUUz6I)

[ Obligations (1950) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3Rr-fiQ2_Y)

[ The Procrastinator (1952) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asegfPfuSHs)

[ Wastage of Human Resources ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k4zHzJJcPk)

You peeked over Kylo’s shoulder at the data pad. The general had procured an extensive list, by the titles of the videos nothing seemed to harmful. They reminded you of videos your health teacher might have a substitute play when they were gone, or on days you couldn’t go outside for recess. The posters seemed alright, recruitment like but over Kylo’s shoulder you couldn’t read the text of the one titled: How and What to tell a Rebel. 

“These are acceptable. Have them sent off to the  _ Supremacy _ for a final inspection.” With the helmet on you couldn’t tell if he was unimpressed or not. 

You could tell by the way he positioned that Hux was slightly guarding you from the gray-haired general. 

“I hope these will also please you m’lady. I would like to thank you for suggesting the Library of Congress to us, it has been very helpful in my research,” said Pryde. He had a smile reminiscent of an antique doll that you had once seen in a thrift shop, one that’s eyes seemed to follow you where ever you went. 

Hux’s eyes flicked and seemingly shared a look with Kylo like they were having a silent conversation. 

“You are welcome general, I am glad that it helped the First Order,” you replied. You griped Kylo’s arm a bit tighter, hoping that he would get the hint that you wanted to leave. You wanted to get away from the older general, who’s eyes hid some thirst behind them, what that thirst was you did not want to know. 

Kylo took the hint and maneuvered you through the halls and back to the shuttle, you were only accompanied by the knights, the lieutenant and the redheaded general. You felt at ease in their presence. You took off for the  _ Steadfast _ ready for your next lesson. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look at the posters I have made for this chapter: https://bexterbex.tumblr.com/post/613586768473800704/if-you-would-like-one-of-these-posters-as-a-pdf


	34. Leaving without Notice

Once onboard the Steadfast you and Kylo headed to the conference room with the general and your lieutenant. Kylo released you once you got to the room and were safely inside, he left the room in a rush. You were left to your lesson with the general.

“You did well today again Lady Ren, I know this morning was a bit stressful after yesterday’s events so we shall keep this lesson in a lighter tone,” said Hux. “We will be going over the ship a tour of sorts if you will, one that is much more in-depth than your initial tour, to show you what the  _ Resurgent- _ class Star Destroyers have to offer.” 

You followed the general down the hall. “While the size is reminiscent of Empire ships, the design of the  _ Resurgent _ -class recalls a similar design from the Republic-era capital ships. The  _ Steadfast’s _ dorsal flight deck, side hangars, and prominent keel; are similar to elements of  _ Venator _ -class Star Destroyers, reflecting a renewed appreciation among our tacticians for capital ships’ role as carriers. Like the  _ Finalizer _ , the  _ Steadfast _ can launch her full complement of starfighters and assault ships much more quickly than their predecessors of the Imperial Navy. Other Imperial-era design flaws have also been rectified -- the need for a better-protected command bridge was a lesson we learned from the loss of the  _ Executor,”  _ said Hux. 

You were making your way to the back of the ship, you following next to the general and your lieutenant following behind you. You made your way to some sort of large mechanical room. 

“All the way to the far right is the access to the Hyperdrive generator and the access to the Starboard main engines. This room mirrors another on the other side of the ship. Over here are the reactant silo and subsidiary reactor. Behind us is the isotope containment wells. Just above us is the Starboard primary turbolaser battery. We shall now move back to the main reactor.”

You were glad because the room you were in was hot, you had no idea how the technicians that seemed to be moving about the room seemed to stand it. The room felt as if it was an oven, and you were not cupcakes so it was no place for you. When you got back out the main hall you never thought you would be more thankful for the star ship’s recycled air, the hallway felt airconditioned compared to the room you were just in. It was also a fair bit brighter out in the hallway. You made it to a large room with a metal curved ball, but you could only see a small portion of the large sphere. 

“This is the reactor containment vessel unless you would like serious health issues unfortunately I can not take you to see the reactor itself. This is an SJFS III-a1a primary hypermatter-annihilation reactor. It is top of the line and allows us to stay in Hyperspace for days. This reactor could power two planets of your sizes for 100 years without stopping. We are currently standing in the reactor engineering control deck, up there are he atmospheric processing complect and the reactant ducts.” 

You then left the area you were in to go to a different hangar than the one you normally use. This one was much much smaller. There seemed to be a lot more boxes and other items scattered neatly around. 

“This is our port hanger, it mainly handles shipments from planets and all non-personnel ships. Although this is the smaller of the two hangars it is the one we use the most. Ah, yes here is a ship now.” 

You saw a large ship pull in, it was rather a shoebox like in shape, you guessed that since it was meant to carry cargo it did not have to look spectacular. You did not stick around for it to be unloaded seeing as the general was instant that you carry on the in-depth tour. You were then hauled off to many other places on the ship. No offense to the general but his voice seemed to drone on, and you were rather tired. Just when you realized you were tired the lieutenant made a cup of stimcaf appear, you briefly wondered if he could read your mind as Kylo could but you could care less at the moment. You had caffeine.

The ship itself has 3000 turbolasers, point-defense laser cannons, and ion cannons. Point-defense quad concussion missile emplacements and tractor beam projectors. There are 19,000 officers, 55,000 enlisted and 13,000 stormtroopers on board at the moment. But because she is a sistership with any of the Resurgent-class ships they are all armed the same. Kuat-Entralla Engineering has done a superb job making these galaxy-class destroyers.”

The general then turned to look at you, he then glanced at the time and declared your lesson over. You were thankful, and you wondered just how tired you looked. You also glanced at the time seeing that you had at least an hour before dinner. You hoped you could sneak a nap in, you made your way back to your chambers and thanked the lieutenant and told him that you would send for him if you needed him. 

When you entered your chambers Kylo was already there, shirtless and speaking to someone you couldn’t see. The last words you heard from him were, “you will return it to me.” His voice was low and predatory. He was a beast holding back from striking, but you could not see his prey. You broke his concentration when you entered the room. 

He looked at you, you could see the bloodthirsty look vanishing from his face the longer he looked at you. His eyes were softening, but still held a hunter’s forewarning in them. He cleared his throat and looked at the time, “It’s later than I thought.”

You just nodded and made your way to your room, he caught your arm and pulled you to him. You flushed at the motion, you were now against his bare chest, your head was in a tissy. 

“How much of that did you hear,” he asked staring you down. 

“I didn’t hear anything other than, you will return it to me,” you replied. Your face was scrunched up with confusion but your heart was racing with excitement. 

“Forget what you heard,” his voice was firm and harsh. His grip on you was harsher than it has ever been.

But your body was giving different signals than your brain. You couldn’t even form a coherent sentence to respond. Kylo released you and you stumbled back almost in shock. You eventually braced yourself against the wall, you could feel the anger radiating off of him. You were too tired to deal with him at the moment so you practically ran to your room. 

The moment your head hit the pillow you passed out, for the first time in a while your dreams were nothing but nightmares. 

After you woke up you felt more tired than when you went to sleep, but you needed to get up anyway. You were dazed when you left your room and you stumbled into the living room where you were greeted by the lieutenant. 

“I regret to inform you, ma’am, that the Supreme Leader will not be joining you tonight as he has been called to the other end of the galaxy for the next few days,” said Mitaka. “But he has informed me that I am to make sure you are not to eat your dinners alone.”

So he was gone. You wondered if this had anything to do with the voice he seemed to be talking to, or if it was something that you had done. You were thankful that he had the intuition to have the lieutenant here instead of just messaging you or leaving a note. You also felt bad for the lieutenant as he should not have been forced to change his plans to eat with you just because Kylo thought you shouldn’t be eating alone. You had done it many times before, why did you need company now?

“Thank you, lieutenant but I am more than capable of eating alone if you would rather go eat with your friends.”

The lieutenant flashed a worried and confused face. “It is no problem ma’am, I think I would actually enjoy eating with you tonight.”

You gave him a small smile, you were very happy that the young lieutenant felt that way. He was rather sweet and you were thankful that Kylo made him your assistant of sorts. You nodded to him and made your way to the dining room and both ordered your dinner. You felt slightly awkward because usually during breakfast you two sat in a comfortable silence until he gave you your daily debriefing, but now you were actually going to eat a proper meal together and you had no idea what to talk about. 

“Tell me about yourself lieutenant.”

He looked at you partially startled at the inquiry. You could tell that he was not used to higher-ups taking an interest, you supposed it would only be his friends that would even care, but you wanted to be friends with the partially timid man.

“There isn’t much to tell ma’am I am a lieutenant in the First Order. I graduated top of my Academy class and was placed on board the  _ Finalizer _ and I worked directly under the allegiant general when he was still in command of her. This was all when the former Supreme Leader was in power. After Supreme Leader Ren came into power the general promoted me not in rank but in position to be with him. And when you were found the Supreme Leader reassigned me to you,” said Mitaka.

“But what about before the Academy? Or what do you like to do when you are given leave or free time? Surely there is more to you than meets the eye,” you asked. 

“Before the academy, I lived with my parents on Coruscant. I am an older brother to my little brother. My father works in business and my mother works in medical. When I have free time I like to relax or reading up on galactic history. Although like most officers when on leave I enjoy going to any beaches on the planet we are on and I tend to enjoy the food. Unlike the food that has been served to you m’lady when we haven’t been to port for a while the food can get rather bland and unappealing.”

You chuckled at his last statement. You supposed that this was a military and so the need for really tasty food was outweighed by the need for nutritious food. You were glad that he was at least enjoying the food at the moment. 

When you both had finished eating you thanked him before sending him away for the night. He told you he would see you in the morning. You were left alone for the evening. You wondered if you should sleep in his bed again or not, unfortunately, your body made that decision for you as it barely got you up the stairs. His bed was closer so you collapsed into it, this time you dreamed of nothing but blackness. 


	35. From Sleep to Sleep

You awoke, you still felt like crap, like your sleep did nothing to reset your equilibrium. You didn’t even know why you were getting up today. Kylo was gone and the health committee was finished, unless the lieutenant had some sort of miraculous new task for you, there was nothing for you to do until your tutoring session with the general. 

You felt as if gravity was working against you when you tried to get up from the bed, but eventually, you got there. Your limbs felt as if the whole weight of the galaxy was holding you down. But you went through your morning routine but it seemed to take longer than usual because you really didn’t want to go anywhere. 

You made your way to the living room and greeted the lieutenant and went through the motions of breakfast. You ordered, it came, and you ate. 

“Shall I go over today’s schedule ma’am,” asked the lieutenant putting his coffee down.

“Yes, please.”

“You have nothing on your schedule until your tutoring lesson. It has been requested by the Supreme Leader that you find something to fill your morning. He has arranged for you to have dinner with the allegiant general and Captian Phasma.”

“Captain Phasma is still onboard? I thought she would have left with the Supreme Leader.”

“No, he took Commander Pyre with him.” 

“Is there anything in particular that the Supreme Leader has expressed that he would like me to do or did he just leave it as I needed to find something to fill my time?”

“He has expressed that you are not to leave the ship as he has taken the Knights of Ren with him.”

“Is that until he comes back or just this morning?”

“Until tomorrow, he has a special project for you that Captain Phasma will assist you with.” 

Great so you were stuck onboard and you were supposed to figure out what to do. It rather frustrated you that he told or messaged the lieutenant things instead of talking to you. All in all, you were rather unhappy with the whole situation. Being left behind with no word on to when he was supposed to be back, no real direction, you were beginning to wonder if this is what the rest of your life was going to look like. 

“What do you suggest that I do lieutenant?” 

“You could always spend some time on the bridge? Or we could go down to one of the stormtrooper training areas and you could watch them train?”

“Why don’t we watch the ‘troopers I feel like that might be more exciting to watch.”

You then followed the lieutenant to one of the lower levels that you had only been to the day previously. You made your way to a large room where many small groups of ‘troopers were training on various things like hand to hand combat, sparing with staffs, firearm training, and exercises. They were in various states of dress, some in armor, some without, some with a mix depending on what they were doing.

In the middle of the room, you could see the chrome ‘trooper captain herself. She seemed to be observing things as she went. She had an officer next to her making notes on a data pad. You felt a bit sorry for the man as she seemed to be talking fast, barking out orders, and moving quickly around the room, he could barely keep up. 

You and the lieutenant set up shop near the ‘troopers doing target practice. You watched as they fired weird colored lights at the targets which then seemed to cause burn marks on the targets, you wondered if this was for target practice or did they not use actual bullets. 

“Lieutenant, what are they using to shoot the targets with?”

“Blasters ma’am, they fire intense plasma energy.”

“You don’t use guns? Like rifles?” You had supposed that they still used traditional guns, but since they seemed to be advanced in so many areas, this was different too. 

You hadn’t noticed the silver fighting woman come up near you until she spoke, “Slugthrowers are outdated technology, they are only useful against a lightsaber, but even then if the sword wielder is competent enough they are not at all effective.”

“So the ‘trooper army has no use for them,” you ask her. 

“No. Unless it is the only thing available in a skirmish. They do not offer much stability to ground forces as they need to be reloaded too often. A blaster should be able to fire at hundreds of targets before needing any sort of maintenance.”

“Will you teach me how to use one?” 

At this question the silver captain lifted her head, in a way of approval, before she responded with; “I will have to ask the Supreme Leader if he wishes for you to be trained with a blaster. I do know that he wishes that you are never to need one and that you are always guarded. But I am more of a realist, I think there would be no harm in teaching you how to shoot.” With that, she nodded to you and moved on in her inspection of the floor.

You were there for two shift changes of “trooper training before the lieutenant notified you that it was lunchtime. You were reluctant to leave as that meant that you were closer to your tutoring session, and trying to cram more information into your brain. You and the lieutenant took lunch back in your chambers as you had had enough of being a spectacle for random First Order personnel for one morning. By the time you were finished, you wished you could take a nap, but you had to learn things about your new life. 

You met up with the general in your usual conference room. He droned on about some seemingly important aspects of what the Empire did right, but you were not in the mood for a history lesson. You weren’t in the mood to hear anything about the First Order, all you wanted to do was take a nap. He wrapped up, the lieutenant once again sent you word for word notes on the general’s lecture. The general then gave you a farewell greeting for the moment as he was to see you in an hour and a half for dinner. 

You went back to your chambers and dismissed the lieutenant for the evening, you felt bad as he had been spending so much time with you the last two days, he hadn’t had time to see whatever friends he had on board. Come to think of it you had yet to speak with your friends in almost a week. You were certain that sometime in the next few days you would beg Phasma to escort you to see them. 

Once again when your head hit Kylo’s pillow you dreamed of nothing but nightmares. Ones tinted in red and blue glows, what they meant you hadn’t a clue.

You awoke an hour later, still not feeling anywhere a bit refreshed. You were getting sick of it, but you carried on anyway. You made your way to your bathroom to fix yourself up, your hair was a bit of a mess from sleeping so you tried to put it in place. You went back into your room and noticed that the flowers that had been by your side table all week were now dead and black. You were quite sure they were still beautiful that morning but you carried them to the living room not knowing how to best dispose of them. Figuring that the general or captain might be able to help with that. 

You putz around waiting for them to arrive, checking messages on your phone apparently Scott had texted you wondering when you would be back to work, as far as you knew you weren’t going back to work. You were hoping that someone would be able to message the Jerk and tell him you were not coming back to work because you sure as hell weren’t.

After you were done checking various messages the doorbell rang. You went to answer and greeted the general and the blonde woman you now knew to be Captain Phasma. She looked odd in a regular officer’s uniform, you had only seen her in workout gear and her armor, in both she seemed rather natural, but the uniform seems out of place. 

They both entered and immediately noticed the dead flowers on the coffee table. “M’lady is there a reason why these are here, has someone sent them to you,” asked the captain. 

“Not like this, they were fine the other morning, but they turned black seemingly overnight and I need to get rid of them, but I don’t know how best to do that.”

The general looked puzzled, “I can have someone look into this for you m’lady, there is no reason why they should have turned black.”

That was a bit concerning, you had assumed that it had something to do with the ship, but unfortunately, it seemed like that wasn’t the case. 

You made your way to the dining room and you all ordered, the captain and general seemed rather comfortable in each other's presence, like old friends. 

“The lieutenant told me that the Supreme Leader has a special project for me and that you are to accompany me. Can you tell me what that special project is, or am I to be surprised tomorrow?”

The captain cocked an eyebrow at you and said with a smirk, “You will find out tomorrow, but I believe your planet has dubbed it as women’s work or something like that.”

Oh, great was he sending you grocery shopping, or were you now to clean his clothes instead of having them sent off. You were not in the mood for something like that. 

“The captain has informed me that you were down at the ‘trooper training facilities this morning,” said Hux. 

“Yes, I rather enjoyed watching them train. I even asked her to train me to shoot, but she said she would have to ask the Supreme Leader if that is something he would like me to do.”

They both shared an amused look before the captain said, “I think it would do her some good. More benefits than harm, who knows it even help with marital disputes further down the line.”

This caused the general to choke a bit on his drink. He then gave a full belly laugh before saying, “When that day comes I hope that we will have a ship strong enough to handle it. And for me to be somewhere else in the galaxy, I don’t need to be caught in that crossfire.”

You didn’t fully understand the situation, you knew Kylo had something of a temper, but would your relationship come to blows, or in this case blasts? You hoped to never find out. 

You decided to change the subject, “So how long have you two known each other?”

“Phasma is my oldest friend, who is still left alive. She is the only person on board that I trust with my life,” said Hux. 

“The feeling is mutual, but I will follow orders until my death,” said Phasma. 

You could tell that there was definitely a long history between them, you hoped that one day they might feel the same about you. Right now the people on board were ordered to protect you through Kylo, but you were pretty sure none of them cared enough about you to feel the way the general and captain did with each other. You weren’t even sure if there was anyone who felt that way towards you, although you were on a ship full of people, in a galaxy filled with people you felt alone. 

The general took the flowers with him on his way out after dinner, you told them you would see them both tomorrow. You made your way to Kylo’s bed and curled up, hoping that a black dreamless sleep would take you. 


	36. Woman's Stuff

You woke up, better than the last few times you slept but not a restful sleep. You were beginning to wonder if you needed to take a step out to the medical ward to get a sleeping pill or something. 

You made your way to your room, not caring what you wore or how you looked, that really went out the door when you started sleeping like crap. You went about your usual morning; greeting the lieutenant, ordering breakfast and coffee, taking your vitamins…

“Would you like to go over today’s schedule m’lady?”

“Yes, please.”

“This morning and this afternoon you are to be out with Captain Phasma. She has the details of what the Supreme Leader would like you to do. And then you have your lesson with Allegiant General Hux. Tonight you shall be dining with the general and captain in the officers’ lounge.” 

“Of course,” the lieutenant seemed to sense the annoyance in your voice. 

“Ma’am?”

You let out a large sigh and asked, “where and when are we to meet the captain?” 

“In the hangar in 10 minutes. Is something the matter ma’am?”

“Nothing you can fix, lieutenant but thank you.” 

You were then off down the hallways to meet with the captain. She greeted you and took you onboard a stormtrooper transport, which was definitely less luxurious than the command shuttle you were used to. You were joined by a rather large number of other ‘troopers. Among their armor, you and the lieutenant seemed to be very out of place. 

“Where are we going captain, and more importantly what are we doing,” you asked. 

“You shall see when we get there m’lady, it will not be long,” said the chrome warrior. 

You were growing more impatient by the minute. You were really sick of not knowing what was going on until the last minute. Would it really kill Kylo to tell you what you were supposed to be doing? What would it really harm, if anything?

You landed and the exit ramp lowered, you allowed the troopers to exit before you, and then you followed. When you got outside you realized where you were.

“Why am I at a mall, more specifically why am I at Harrods in London?”

Certainly the decent to earth didn’t take longer than usual did it? 

You were sure your eyes were fooling you until Phasma replied, “Is this not a luxury store on your planet? The Supreme Leader would like you to get new clothes.”

“What is wrong with my clothes?”

“He said and I quote, ‘she needs to look more like an empress.’” Even through the vocoder, you could tell she was telling you in a deadpan way. 

“And he didn’t want to tell me this before?” You were fuming. 

“Again he said and I quote, ‘I want you to go with her Phasma because I can’t handle that woman stuff.’” You could tell she wanted to be here as much as you did. You could see out of the corner of your eye that the lieutenant was rather scared.

You turned back towards the mall, “I can’t afford any of this.”

“The Supreme Leader is taking care of it. My suggestion to you m’lady is to have fun with it, at his expense if you feel like it. You might as well make the most of this opportunity.” You could tell that she was trying to make you feel better. She obviously didn’t want to go shopping either but here you were, at one of the greatest malls on the planet and your match was going to pay for everything. You were going to show him. 

When your landing party entered the building it was oddly quiet. No other patrons were roaming about so you turned to Phasma who answered before you could ask. “The Supreme Leader requested a private shopping party for you. You have the whole shopping center to yourself.” 

“That’s rather unfortunate for the workers. Is there anything we can do for them, like if I am not in that store can we pay for their food bill in the cafeteria?”

You saw a smirk on the lieutenant’s face so you suspect you had said something good, the captain nodded to you and said, “we can most certainly do that ma’am.” She then signaled to one of the ‘troopers who made his way to a concierge desk and spoke to the woman behind the desk. 

She spoke to the man next to her and he worked on his computer. She then stepped out from behind the desk and walked towards you. “It is a pleasure to meet you, ma’am, my name is Olivia-Rose Gordon I shall be assisting you today.”

“Thank you Olivia-Rose, do you know why I am here?” 

“We were told that you needed some shopping done.”

“Do you know who I am.”

Before she could answer Phasma stepped in and said, “she doesn’t none of them do and we would like to keep it that way.”

You nodded to her. So you were to remain a secret, but for how long? When were you supposed to take your place as ‘Empress’, if that was still something Kylo wanted. 

“Where would you like to start ma’am,” asked Olivia-Rose. 

“With anything that Kate Middleton or Meghan Markle would wear. How is that?” 

“Are those two your style inspirations ma’am?”

“Yes, but also throw in some Audrey and Katherine Hepburn, some Elizabeth Taylor and especially Grace Kelly and I think we have hit our mark.”

“Then we should start with Chanel. And we shall move on from there.”

You moved about the store, finding a few items here and there, all of the store employees seemed to be very enthusiastic about finding you this piece or that. You then moved on to Dolce & Gabbana which had much more of what you were looking for.

One of the male workers brought you a rather short dress and before you could say you didn’t want it the lieutenant timidly spoke up, “it has expressed that he would not like anything above the knee, anything too low cut, or anything strapless.”

Your eye twitched, “I wasn’t aware that I was buying him dresses.”

You heard a loud snort come from the silver-plated captain. She seemed to have lost her impeccable composure at your comment. 

You glanced at the lieutenant who seemed a bit distraught, “I’m sorry lieutenant that was rude of me. Next time I will tell him to his face exactly where he can shove his opinions. Especially when he won’t share them to me himself.” This didn’t quite seem to help the lieutenant, but you watched as Phasma braced herself on a clothing rack. Her laugh was distorted but was still a sound you were glad to hear. 

You turned back to the worker and told him about your new qualifications for your wardrobe. Olivia-Rose seemed to be very helpful throughout the store. She was finding many pieces that you liked, which you were grateful for. 

You moved through three more stores before needing food, which you were given the whole selection of the cafeteria and the cafes to choose from. During your lunch was the only time the store’s employees were not allowed to be there as the ‘troopers took off their helmets to join you. You watched as they seemed to enjoy the really delicious food that they were privileged to eat this time around. Like the knights, they seemed to have a soft spot for sweets. 

After lunch you spent time in the Hair Salon and spa, all while you were in there various personal shoppers came in asking for your approval on this or that dress, top, skirt, and bottom. They also brought in various accessories and jewelry. Once you were finished with a manicure, pedicure, haircut and facial you mad your trip to the beauty counter picking up all of the different luxurious makeup that interested you. After all, if he was going to be a jerk but was offering to pay why wouldn’t you? 

By the time you left, you had 300 some shopping bags filled with this or that. You weren’t sure how much you had spent but you didn’t care, either way, it wasn’t your money and you were taking advantage of it while you could. If he really was the Supreme Leader of the First Order and if he desired for you to be his empresses then no expense was too small right? 

“You did better than I expected m’lady,” commented Phasma. 

“Well captain I took what you said to heart and I made the most of the opportunity.” 

She snorted again, “I would say so.”

You were pleasantly in a better mood than when you got there. You had no idea where you would wear everything you got, but you sure as hell did not care, you now had something for every type of occasion. 

You arrived back at the ship and the general greeted you in the hangar. Upon seeing all of the shopping bags his eyebrows raised before you could say anything Phasma spoke up for you. “She heeded my advice.”

A smirk then appeared on his face, “of course she did. Remind me to take your advice more often captain.”

Another snort came from the chrome-gilded amazon, she seemed to be in good spirits. 

“Well m’lady your lesson today will be a bit different, the Supreme Leader has requested that you take some diplomacy lessons,” said the redhead.

“Diplomacy lessons?”

“Yes, he has already seen the great work that you have done with the Health Committee and would like you to learn more.” He could see the look of confusion and slight frustration on your face before he expanded, “I believe you will do well m’lady, the Supreme Leader is not known for his diplomacy skills, rather he is known for his lack of them. We are all hoping that you can use your strengths in this area to help the First Order expand to other parts of the galaxy.” 

You then followed him through the halls to your usual conference room, the projector had the image of an alien man on screen, he jarringly looked like a human but with blue skin and red eyes. 

“Today we will be watching some of the Empire’s Grand Admiral Thrawn, he was brilliant and ruthless, tactical and cunning. Someone you can learn from.” 

You watched this man for a few hours. You could see why the general admired him in many ways, you wondered if you could convince the general to watch some former diplomats from your own planet, not just ones from the First Order or the Empire. When you were finished you got up to leave, but before you left the general informed you of something.

“I had someone look into your flowers m’lady. There seemed to be traces of Force energy on them, which is probably the explanation of why they turned black. The Supreme Leader would be better at explaining this, I will let him know that it was a concern to you and he should answer it when he gets back.”

“Do we know when that will be?”

“Not as of yet, m’lady. I do know that they have reached their destination, but as of now they have been comms silent, which isn’t unusual. But do take care in knowing that he is one of the strongest things in this galaxy, so there is no need to worry.”

And with that you did worry, he was one of the strongest things in the galaxy, so what caused the long jagged scar across his face? 

When you went back to your chambers you glanced at your wrist for the first time in a while, the name  ** Ben Solo  ** seemed to be more faded than before. Is that what he was doing? Finding another way to kill that part of himself? You felt sick. So you lied down before dinner knowing that someone would come and get you. 

Once more your dreams were filled with blue and red lights, but there was something more this time. There was water, an ocean, you didn’t know where but you could almost smell it and feel the mist on your face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic I will try to never describe the reader's height, weight, etc. So even though these brands don't do plus size, pretend that they do, because you are an "empress" and you get what you want...............


	37. You Want Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Accidental Self Harm. You can read until the ***** and then skip until after then next **** as you should still be able to understand the story without it being too jarring.

You woke up, something was wrong. You didn’t have time to run to your bathroom so you made your way into Kylo’s. 

You vomited.

Something was wrong, but you don’t know what. 

Something had happened, but you don’t know where. 

Someone had died, but you don’t know who. 

All you knew was Kylo was somehow involved. You checked your wrist, Ben Solo’s name was still there, faint, but still there. So he wasn’t dead, yet. 

You knew it involved a bunch of colors, red and blue. You knew that an ocean was somehow involved, but didn’t know where. A million questions were swirling in your mind but you had no complete answers. No work to show for the problems. You couldn’t turn the homework in yet.   
Your brain was not going to let this go. 

You rinsed your mouth out in the sink. Glancing up in the mirror the girl looking back at you was not someone you recognized, she was hollow. Her face was gaunt, her hair was a mess, she looked dead in her eyes. In your eyes. 

You had to get out. 

You had to get out now.

You needed to get her out. 

You marched out of the bathroom, you went to your room and you grabbed your coat. You stormed out of your chambers and headed down the hall. You passed by stormtroopers and officers. All knowing where they were going, but you realized quickly that you were lost. You were on a ship full of people, a ship you had been living on for more than a week and you were lost. You had been escorted everywhere, and now in a rage of passion, you had no idea where you were going, or where you were. 

By some luck of fate, you ran into Hux. “M’lady I was just on my way to come get you.”

“I’m not going to dinner I need out of here. I need to get off of this damn ship.”

“M’lady?”

“You said Phasma could escort me? She is on the list to escort me? Well, I need to go.”  
“Need to go where m’lady?”

“Anywhere but here, anywhere normal. Anywhere where I am allowed to think for myself without everyone either questioning me or putting words in my mouth. I need out.” You were yelling now, anyone else that was in the hall had now disappeared.

“Right. If you will hold on a moment m’lady.” He then removed one of those little speaking devices from his pocket. 

“No, you will take me to the hangar and I will wait there.” 

He looked at you for a second, a mix of confused and angry, you didn’t care. You wanted out. He then lead you down the hallway to the hangar. You didn’t normally tap your foot out of frustration, like in those old cartoons, but you were doing it now. You wanted out. 

Within minutes you saw your chrome-plated ticket to freedom with here white armored little ducklings. You would be free in minutes. “Where are we off to,” she asked you but seemed to more or less asking Hux.

“I want off this damn ship and I want to be away from people, so where ever that may be that is where I want to be. All I need is you for an escort, no one else. I want to be alone, but apparently, I can’t do that without being babysat every five minutes.”

You couldn’t see what her reaction was under her helmet, you didn’t want to know. You wanted out. 

She signaled to the ‘troopers behind her who backed up and turned away. The general looked like he wanted to argue but you had already turned to march yourself on board the shuttle. Phasma followed. It was just you, Phasma, and the pilot now, the pilot was sealed away in his cockpit. Neither of you spoke, but you could tell she was staring at you with the way her head was cocked. You didn’t care, you wanted out. 

Within a few minutes, you landed and the exit ramp lowered. You were on a beach somewhere, you didn’t care. You were getting out. You exited the shuttle, your silver guard staying several paces behind you. It looked like there was no one for miles.

You were out.

Phasma stayed a considerable distance behind you, on guard. You shoved her to the back of your mind. You listened to the waves and the breeze. You listened to the sound of the sand crunching under your feet. You breathed in the cold salty air. You kept walking. For the first time in the last week, you felt like you again, if only for a moment. 

You made your way over to a boulder and sat down. Tears began to fall from your face. You wrapped your arms around yourself. Closing your eyes you saw the lights again. The damn lights that you had no idea what they meant. They wouldn’t leave you alone. 

You hunched over and threw up again. Phasma started walking forward towards you before you yelled, “Stop, just leave me alone.” Your voice was broken and harsh. You could hear your sadness in your voice. She stopped. 

You brought your knees to your chest, you were crying before but now you were sobbing. Loud heartbroken lonely sobs, the ones poets dream about when they write of heartache. 

But why were you heartbroken?

Your heart broke for the girl you use to know, for the girl you use to be only a week and a half ago. She was gone--and was slowly being replaced by someone you didn’t know. Someone whose soul you didn’t know. 

Every time you closed your eyes you saw the lights. You saw those damn lights. 

What did they mean?

What did this all mean?

You didn’t know, but what you did know is that your heart was broken for the girl you used to know and for what? Some stupid spaceman? A man who couldn’t even properly talk to you? A man who cowardly hid behind telling others to tell you what to do? What to say? What to think? 

Why didn’t the fairytales ever tell you that your match could be like this? Would be like this? No. All they knew was happily ever after. A prince who sweeps his match off her feet and rides off into the sunset. How realistic is that? Why did we tell little girls that? Why did you still believe that? 

Yes, on the surface you knew it wouldn’t be that way, but deep down a part of you was still holding on to that childish naive thought that your match and you would ride off into the sunset somewhere and live happily ever after. He did come from a space ship, like some sort of space prince. He was a knight but wasn’t by any means a knight in shining armor. Hell, he hid behind a mask to everyone. 

While you were childish and naive for thinking that you would end up in a fairytale at least you weren’t playing dress-up. You weren’t a child in a mask pretending to be a man. 

Well, you would have to play dress-up soon. In all of those clothes, you bought, rather that he bought.   
One thing was for sure, you were sick and tired of being told what to do and you were sick and tired of not knowing anything. You wiped your tears on your sleeve. 

*************************************************************************************************************

  
You got up from the rock and walked towards the water. You took off your shoes and crept in. It was cold, almost ice cold but you ignored it. It was one of your few moments of freedom and you weren’t going to spoil it. You had already cried enough. 

You closed your eyes once more, you saw the lights. You moved further into the freezing water, the lights dimmed. You kept going until they were but a tiny flicker.

You felt a hand pull you out of the water, you hadn’t realized you were now neck-deep, without your coat. Phasma was hauling you out of the water if you weren’t so delirious you would have marveled at her strength. She was hauling you back to shore. You had dropped your coat there. With one hand still hauling your arm, her other swiftly grabbed the coat before pulling you to the shuttle. 

You were cold, but you felt less hollow. She didn’t speak to you, she just threw your jacket around your shoulders. The shuttle took off. You were back to your cage. Back to being the pretty songbird once again. Back to singing on command for crackers. 

If you thought she was staring at you when you were going to the beach, she was definitely staring now. This time the flight felt longer. It might have been because you were cold, but it most certainly was because you were dreading heading back to your prison.

You felt the shuttle dock and you heard the ramp lower, but you weren’t as quick to get up this time. Before you could move your own two feet there were two men in medical uniforms hauling you up and practically carrying you out of the shuttle.

You tried to struggle, you tried to thrash. You had no idea what was going on. You had no idea where they were taking you. Actually, you had some idea, but that thought scared you. Why were they hauling you away? You didn’t do anything wrong. 

No one was answering the million questions coming out of your mouth. Everything on the ship seemed too bright. You smelled where you were going before you arrived. The chemical sterile smell. You were in the medical bay.

You were being stapped down to a bed before Dr. Dabrini came into the room Phasma following behind.   
“You are being placed on suicide watch,” said the doctor.

“Suicide watch? But I didn’t do anything,” you were exasperated. Suicide?

“The Captain says she witnessed you trying to drown yourself.”

“Drown myself? All I did was walk into the water.”

“Chest deep, in freezing water. Why did you do this?”

“All I wanted to do was stop the lights.”

“The lights? What lights?” Both the doctor and Phasma tilted their heads out of confusion. 

“The lights I see every damn time I close my eyes.”

“What do these lights look like? What do they do?” You could tell he was concerned but curious. 

“They were red and blue. They seemed to be fighting each other. I don’t know all I know is I want them to stop. I haven’t been able to sleep well. I either see them when I sleep, odd nightmares that I can’t remember or blackness. All I know is that for the last few days every time I have tried to rest, I haven’t been able to. I wake up feeling worse than I already have.”

The doctor looked at the captain before answering you, “you will stay here tonight, under watch. I will give you something that will help you sleep.”

“Can I have the straps taken off, I promise that I wasn’t actually trying to hurt myself, all I wanted is for the stupid lights to stop.”

“I believe I can do that.” He then moved to take them off of you. He left the room and a nurse came in with some pills and a glass of water. You took them, but she stayed. You thought she would have left but she moved to a chair in the corner of the room. You supposed she was your ‘watch’.

Even though the door was shut and the large glass-windowed wall was frosted over you could see Hux and Phasma having an argument outside your room. You strained to see if you could hear them.

“She was under your watch, the Supreme Leader won’t be happy,” said Hux. 

“She was, but how was I supposed to know that she was going to try and drown herself?

*************************************************************************************************************

  
And she is under your care, you let me take her alone,” accused Phasma. 

“So now this is my fault. He won’t be happy,” said Hux. 

“No, he won’t but you will still have to try and reach him anyway.”

“Is that really the best course of action? You and I know that he can be unpredictable at the best times,” reasoned Hux. 

“Yes and suppose we wait and tell him and he finds out you failed to inform him as soon as possible,” corrected Phasma.

“You’re right, I hate when you are right.”

“No, you hate when you are wrong, there is a difference,” there was a bit of smugness in her voice.

“Hmm, I suppose.”

“We really should try and get this over with. Let’s go to your office and try and contact him. See if we even get through. See if he is done with you know who.”

Before you could even begin to form questions, the pill kicked in and you drifted off into a dreamless medicated sleep. 


	38. A Watched Songbird

You dreamt of nothing, thanks to whatever medication the nurse gave you. You woke up in a fog, rested, but in a fog. It took a few minutes for your eyes to adjust and focus on the room around you, like defrosting car windows in the winter. When you finally fully came to you could see the lieutenant was doing something on his data pad and you could see the outline of the general through the frosted glass wall. 

Your voice was hoarse, “Good morning lieutenant.”

He looked up and rushed to get you the glass of water that was by your bedside. “Good morning ma’am. How are you feeling?” You could see the worry on his face, you wonder just how stressed out he has been. There were bags under his eyes, he probably didn’t get much sleep.

“Better now, but you look like you could use some coffee or some sleep.” You were a bit concerned. 

“Do not worry about me, ma’am. I am just doing my duty.” You could tell he was nervous about the attention you were giving him. 

Before you could say anything more to him Dr. Dabrini and the general came in. You could see the lieutenant dodge out of the way. 

“How are you feeling this morning Lady Ren,” asked the doctor. The general stood by his side with his hands collapsed behind his back in his usual power position. 

“As I was just telling the lieutenant, I am feeling better. When will I be discharged?” You looked between the two men who were standing over your feet. 

“You should be able to leave with the general in a few moments. I just have a few more questions for you. First is how did you sleep?”

“I slept fine, I didn’t dream but I feel more rested than I have in days.”

“Good, good. Now I would like you to close your eyes for a few minutes.” You complied. You saw nothing but darkness. “What do you see?”

“I see nothing,” at first not understanding the question but then it hit you, “I see nothing.” There was a huge sense of relief that washed over you. 

“Good, the medication worked. I will have you take another this morning. And you will continue on that regiment until this has been discussed further with the Supreme Leader.” 

A nurse came in and handed you fewer pills than last night, probably missing the sleeping pill they gave you. You took them and thanked her. “So this medication does what exactly?”

“It is an anti-psychosis medication, don’t be alarmed. We do not believe you to be psychotic but it is the only thing that we believed might work until we get answers from the Supreme Leader.” 

“So he knows what’s happening to me?”

“No, not yet. At least not the lights and the dreams. But I believe this might have something to do with the Force, and since no one else in the First Order can use the Force he is the one who will most likely be able to answer our questions.”

You thought about what he was saying. So the lights had something to do with the Force? What did that mean? Also, what did he know right now? What did the general tell him? 

“Is that everything?”

“Yes, I will release you into the general’s care. He and the lieutenant have been given strict orders to watch over you.” With that, the doctor left the room and you were alone with the two officers.

“M’lady would you like to return to your chambers to change and eat,” asked Hux. 

“I think I would. I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday and after that, I got sick twice, so breakfast is good.” You moved to get up, you were a bit uneasy on your legs, the sleeping pill still having a bit of an effect on you. The lieutenant was by your side instantly offering assistance which you gladly took. 

You three made your way down the halls and to your chambers, “Everything has been put away m’lady. If you give me a moment I can have a female officer down here to assist you while you change or do whatever it is that you need to do,” said Hux typing something away on a small data pad. 

“Why would I need someone to help me?”

“You are not to be left alone until the Supreme Leader has deemed it safe to do so. So unless you would like the lieutenant or myself to accompany you in the bathroom I believe it is better to have a female officer assist with this.”

“But I didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident.”

“Yes, but the Supreme Leader gave his orders.”

You were now very unhappy, so one mistake meant you were locked up even tighter. A bird in a cage with a tomcat both inside and out. All while having to wait for the master to come home and release you when he wanted you to sing like a ‘free’ bird. 

The female officer came in and you both went to your bathroom. You took a shower, which seemed awkward for both of you, but you had to wash the remnants of last night off of your skin. You were quick to cover yourself once you were done and you both moved into your bedroom to grab your clothes, which were no longer in your closet. None of them, all of the shelves and hangars were bare. “Where are my clothes?”

You stepped out of your room carefully and into Kylo’s room. Luckily neither the lieutenant nor the general were there but one wrong look up the stairs they could see you in your towel. You hid behind the wall next to the stairs and called down, “why are my clothes not in my room?” You heard footsteps coming closer to the stairs. Both you and the female officer shared wide-eyed looks. “Stop, just tell me where my clothes are.” The footsteps ceased. You could see here making a shoo motion with her hands as she made eye contact with someone at the base of the stairs. 

“M’lady the Supreme Leader has requested that your things be moved into his room for the time being. All of your things should be in the closets there,” yelled the general. 

You and the female officer made quick work of trying to find your clothes in the long wall of closets. You opened one that revealed your new clothes, and another and another. Your old clothes were nowhere to be found. Instead of arguing right away, you thought it would be best just to get dressed and then ask questions later. 

You picked out a beautiful shirtdress, that fit your waist perfectly and made you look as if you were bathing in a floral bouquet of pink roses. The officer found a nice pair of flats to go with. You went into Kylo’s bathroom to see a new shelf with all of the makeup you bought yesterday. If you were going to start dressing like an ‘empress’ you might as well go all out, just out of spite.

After you were finished you walked back down to the living room and the female officer took her leave. “I suppose I am now ready to join you for breakfast.”

“You are m’lady and might I say that you look wonderful in that dress,” said Hux.

“Thank you. Golden age of Hollywood inspired.” You all made your way to the dining room. “What can I get you both?”

“Tea would be fine for me,” said the general.

The lieutenant was still acting very timid. “Nothing for me ma’am.”

You looked at him with a sort of motherly scrutiny, “When is the last time you ate lieutenant?”

You could tell he did not want to answer, but he did, “yesterday at lunch ma’am.” 

“You will eat what I order you and then you will go get some rest. You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“But ma’am I need to stay with you.”

“Did the Supreme Leader give orders saying you did? That I need both you and the general looking out for me or did he say the general was to watch over my care?”

“He said that the general was to watch over your care.”

“Right, so this is an order from me. You will eat what I order you and then you will go get some rest. I’m pretty sure the general is more than capable of watching over me. I appreciate the concern, but you can’t help me if you don’t help yourself a little too.” You gave him a warm smile and moved on to ordering food. 

Both of them worked on their data pads while waiting for the food and drinks to arrive, you took this as a moment to revel in the fact that there were no lights behind your eyes. You almost failed to open them when the food arrived. You were very happy watching the lieutenant eat, a bit of relief washed over you knowing that he was now in a bit better shape than when you first woke up. 

Midway through your breakfast, the lieutenant started to brief you on your morning schedule. “This morning m’lady the general will be with you and has requested that you take your lessons here in your chambers this morning instead of this afternoon. The Supreme Leader will be back sometime after lunch and you will be attending the First Order High Command debriefing with him. He will then be joining you for dinner.”

“Thank you, lieutenant.”

“Ma’am if I am to go rest would you like me to send for another officer to take notes for you?”

The general answered for you, “That won’t be necessary lieutenant, what I have planned for her today isn’t something she needs notes on. We shall be watching videos and discussing them directly.” 

The lieutenant nodded in response. Happily going back to eating his breakfast. 

“Tell me general. When did we find out that the Supreme Leader would be returning,” you ask. 

“Last night while you were asleep. I informed him of your situation and he decided to come back a day early. He said that he was finished with whatever it is that took him away, but he had initially planned to stay an extra day on that end of the galaxy. He made the choice to come back for your health and safety.”

“Did you inform him that I am fine now?”

“Yes, m’lady. But I would not hold your breath if you think that he is going to hold back on his  _ feelings.  _ In our last communications with each other, he was not in the best of moods. I believe we might have to brace ourselves for one of his tirades.”

You could see the lieutenant visibly pallor. Whatever slightly relaxed state he was in a few minutes ago was now gone. 

“Will this tirade be anything like what I witnessed at the White House?”

“No m’lady I do not believe it will. It will be worse, much worse. But we will only know when he gets here.” 

Great, just great. What was worse then him choking someone with the Force? Would someone actually die? Would he take his anger out on you? You were angry at him too, you had a right to be. What happened last night was just an accident. If he would get angry at you for just an accident then he had another thing coming to him. You may not have the Force or his fancy lightsaber but that doesn’t mean you can’t get angry. 

Wait. 

Would he use his lightsaber on something when he was angry? Would he use it on someone? Is this what the general means by needing to ‘brace ourselves’? 

You weren’t ready for this.

At the same time, you were ready for this. It was his fault anyway. Keeping you locked in a cage like a little songbird. No, wait. Like a kitten trapped in a cage, only to be let out whenever your owner wanted to pet you or show you off. If he wanted a kitten you were going to show him your claws. 


	39. No But They Can Try

You finished breakfast and bid the lieutenant a good day, sending him off to go get rest. You turned to the general. “So what is it that we are learning today?”

The general was over on one of the walls preparing a giant screen that you didn’t know existed. “It has been requested by the Supreme Leader that you take some finishing lessons.”

“Finishing lessons?”

He successfully brought a video to the screen. “Yes, along with your diplomacy lessons the Supreme Leader has requested that you take finishing lessons or etiquette lessons. You are to be a refined lady, an empress. He has made it clear that you are to succeed in the areas he does not.” 

He started the video or lack of video as it seemed to be an audiobook. 

[ **Ch. 1: What is Best Society?** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_01_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 2: Introductions** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_02_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 3: Greetings 10 min** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_03_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 4: Salutations of Courtesy** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_04_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 5: On the Street and in Public** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_05_post.mp3)

There wasn’t much discussion as he had talked about with the lieutenant. You both just sat back and listened, rather you listened and he worked on his data pad. After the fifth chapter, you had enough of listening to rules of etiquette, so you decided to strike up a conversation in hopes of ending the lesson. 

“Why is it that I am learning this and you are working on something else?”

“Because I am not going to become a lady. That is your job, my job is to make sure that you are learning what you are learning. I am currently working on my other job of running the First Order. Just because the Supreme Leader has assigned me to be in charge of your care and your lessons does not mean any of my other duties have ceased.” He still failed to look up from his data pad. 

“I thought the Supreme Leader ran the First Order?” You were digging for something. 

The data pad hit the redhead’s lap in frustration, but before the words you suspected that he wanted to say came out of his mouth he answered, “of course the Supreme Leader does, but there are many,  _ many _ duties he cannot do himself and so he leaves them in the very  _ capable  _ hands of others.” 

“I sense some hostility in you general. You don’t have to keep it from me that you wished he would do more or that you did less.” You were looking at the man rather pointedly. 

“The Supreme Leader and I knew each other before he became the Supreme Leader. At that time we were both competing for the previous Supreme Leader’s good graces. Ones that he never really gave out. And then the Supreme Leader usurped him. I was afraid that because of our past grievances that he would just put me out, but he looked past that and saw the greater good I could do for the First Order. He gets the glorious title of Supreme Leader and the ability to supersede anyone that questions him, but I get to make the First Order into a legacy that outshines the Empire.”

The man sitting next to you loved what he was doing. Married to his duty. Has the love of creating a great empire of his own. 

“I’m sure he’s thankful, even if it just means he doesn’t have to do all of the paperwork. In my lessons of the Empire, Vader and Tarkin had a similar relationship. Maybe not as vicious as your relationship has been, but a parallel none the less. I am thankful, from what I have seen from the Supreme Leader, he is much more an intimidation tool than he is a leader.” You were being honest with the man, after all he really has only kept things from you because of Kylo’s orders.

“That he is. He is very effective in leading Stormtroopers. They gladly follow him into battle. And not just because he will kill them, but because the enemy focuses on him, and it is almost a guaranteed win if he is with them. You saw him in training, but seeing him on the battlefield is something else entirely. He becomes the human embodiment of rage and destruction. Which unfortunately can transfer back to damages on board the ship.”

“Is this what you meant by needing to ‘brace ourselves’? I understand that he is quick to anger but isn’t there something that we can do about it?”

“If I knew the answer to that m’lady I would be the richest man in the galaxy. Yes, that is partially the reason why I said it. The other reason is that any time an issue is about you, before or after he met you he becomes even more unstable, more unpredictable. I may have known him for years but I have no idea what he will be like when he gets here.”

“I see, so are you suggesting that I should be scared?”   
  


“No, m’lady just prepared.”

“Prepared for what? You just called him unstable and unpredictable.”

“Prepared for the unexpected, occasionally and I mean rarely he surprises me. The last few times that has happened it has been about you. So just be prepared for anything.”

You didn’t know whether to find his words comforting or horrifying. You could already see that Kylo was unstable. You glanced down at your wrist, to the faded  **Ben Solo.** You wondered if the unstableness was Kylo or Kylo’s struggle with Ben. You had seen him almost kill a man who spoke and thought ill of you. What would he do this time because you did it to yourself, accidentally but to yourself? 

“I believe it is time for lunch,” said the general. 

You then went about ordering and eating lunch in the dining room, not really talking about anything in particular but just light conversation. He then escorted you down the halls to the large conference room that you usually met in for your lessons. This time the room was filled with generals and admirals and holograms of generals and admirals. You took a seat next to Hux, who was sitting across the table from Pryde. Phasma was on guard in the corner of the room in her silver armored glory. You wondered when would be the best time to apologize. 

“As you all know the Supreme Leader will be here in a matter of minutes. He will give us the rundown on his mission, and maybe his next plans. He is currently not in the best of moods so brace yourselves. Everyone,” said Hux. 

The room went about idle chatter for a few moments before you heard loud footsteps coming down the hall, and some screaming too. If the door had hinges you would have guessed that it would have slammed open. He stalked in with the Knights of Ren filling in the back of the room along with Commander Pyre. 

You saw Ap’lek eye Phasma up and down with hostility, almost assessing whether or not he could take here out now. But he then turned to face the Kylo on the other side of the room. You could see Phasma’s body language change, she was now ready for an attack. 

Your attention quickly shifted to Kylo, who seemed to refrain himself from slamming his palms on the table, but just barely. His clothes were slightly singed in various places, he and the knights seemed to have some light mud on them as well. They look as if they have come straight off the battlefield, Pyre even had scuffs on his gold armor. 

“Skywalker is dead.”

There was malice in his voice. You could sense the anger and hostility that radiated off of him in dark waves. His own personal storm cloud. 

The other generals and admirals around you lifted their heads in what seemed to be acknowledgment and relief. 

A balding general whom you have never seen before spoke up, “And what of the scavenger?”

In an instant, he was on the ceiling choking. His chair had been thrown back and clattered to the ground. He was crying out, gasping for air. 

Kylo’s head turned quickly to you, assessing you. He moved swiftly from the front of the room and grabbed you by the arm pulling you up and out of the room. He was grabbing your arm so tightly you were sure that it was going to bruise. He did not stop until you were both in your chambers. 

You were scared. 

“I have half a mind to kill her.” The helmet was still on. 

You were confused, “to kill who.”

“Phasma, you were under her care and she let it happen.” He then abruptly took the helmet on and backed you into a corner. “Why did you do it? Are you that unhappy with me?” His voice was still laced and stitched with anger.

You were frozen in fear. 

His eyes were almost black. You could literally feel the anger that was radiating off of him in the electricity in the air. Or was it the Force that you were feeling?

His hand slammed into the wall next to you. “Answer me!” He was yelling, his voice dripping with fury and rage. 

You thought you were going to die.

His other hand hooked itself under your chin and yanked your face upwards while he stood over you menacingly.

No, you knew you were going to die.

You trembled out, “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to.” Your voice barely a whisper. Your eyes were wide in fear. 

“What do you mean it was an accident? How could it have been an accident?” He was still yelling. 

“I wanted them to stop.”

“What to stop?” He was a tiny bit calmer. 

“The lights.”

“What lights.”

“The lights I saw every time I closed my eyes since you have been gone.”

His face shifted slightly, you could see the concern start to brew in the cauldron of his eyes. “What did these lights look like?”

“They were red and blue and they were fighting. Every time I closed my eyes I could see them.”

The hand that was under your chin shifted to caress the side of your face. “Tell me more.”

“There was also an ocean, I don’t know where it was but it was big. I haven’t been able to really sleep since you have been gone.”

“All you wanted was for them to stop, and you didn’t realize what was happening?”

“Yes, and Phasma saved me. I had ordered her to stay away from me. I wanted to be alone.”

The hand then shifted down to your neck. It rested there. “Why did you want to be alone?”

“I feel like a songbird in a cage here. People constantly telling me what to do, say and think. I am watched 24/7. You give them orders to tell me, without telling me anything. I wanted to be free, if only for a few minutes.” 

The hand shifted back up to your face, his thumb ran over your lips. “You are a beautiful songbird Kitten.” He then drew you in and kissed you. You missed this, oh how you missed this.

When you broke apart, “but kisses won’t fix this.”

“No, but they can try.” He leaned back in to kiss you. Pushing you into the wall, eventually, his kisses started to roam down to your neck, “no, but they can try.”


	40. A Beautiful Songbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Short chapter, but tomorrow's is a lot longer.

You were caught up in his kisses. Those sweet tantalizing kisses. The ones that make your insides go all fuzzy, that make your brain go all fuzzy. When his hands started to roam that’s when your brain woke up when you woke up. You pushed him off of you. 

You had to get your head on straight. He looked confused and enraged again. You move passed him, trying not to get cornered again. 

“What about her,” you ask, this time it was your voice that was raised. 

“What about who?” 

“Phasma. Ap’lek looked like he was ready to fight her on the spot. If anything happens to her from all this I will never forgive you.” You crossed your arms and stamped your foot like all of the wives in the old Hollywood films. 

He narrowed his eyes at you but took out a communicator and barked a quick order that sounded like, “leave the captain alone.” 

His body language then shifted into something you didn’t recognize, “I missed you.”

“Cut the crap. Why am I always the last to know what’s happening? Why are Hux and Mitaka always letting me know what you want? Why can you not message me or talk to me yourself? I feel like a songbird in a cage that is only brought out when my master wants me to sing.” You were mad, all of the feelings from the last few days were boiling up now. You were sick and tired of being manhandled around and told absolutely nothing until you absolutely needed to know. 

He didn’t answer, he just proceeded to stare at you. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but you wished you did. You wished you knew the man in front of you but you don’t. He was an enigma.

“Who is Skywalker?”

“No one.”

“Fine then. I guess you won’t answer and even if you did it probably won’t be the truth will it?” You were fuming, but you could see something boil up in his eyes. “Who is the scavenger?”

That did it. 

“No one,” he screamed.

For the first time, his lightsaber was ignited in his hand. He looked ready to kill you. You backed up, slowly until you found your back against the wall. He was stalking towards you. But before anything could happen he extinguished it and dropped it to the floor. He made his way over to you traping you against the wall once more. 

With quiet malice, he said, “you will not speak of her again.” His hand had hooked itself under your chin once more. His lips found your ear, “never again.”

Chills crawled down your spine. Who was this man? What happened to the one that was here before he left? Surely he was a bit nicer.

Your hands were pined by the Force above your head. “Do you want to know why I left?” His eyes were now boring into your soul. 

You tried to nod but his hand still held your chin so you whispered “yes.”

“I went to kill him, to protect you. I only have one more task and then you will fully be mine, no more sharing.”

Sharing? Who was he sharing you with? And then it hit you like a load of bricks. **Ben Solo** , he went off to kill **Ben Solo**. Now he only had one more task to fully kill him. Was this why he was acting so different? 

You gained a little courage, “Did you kill Skywalker to help kill him?”

His hand shifted up to caress your face once more. These mood swings were going to kill you. He swallowed, “Yes, and I would do it again.” His eyes looked clouded over like he was in some sort of haze. 

“Who do you have to kill to finally have me?”

His eyes broke through their haze and his jaw clenched. “His mother.”

So this is why he never spoke of his parents, of **Ben** ’s parents. He needed to kill them in order to kill him. In order to have you all to himself. To fully be Kylo’s. Somehow this both thrilled you and scared you at the same time, but it mostly scared you. 

His lips came crashing to yours. The hold that the Force had on your hands released. Whenever he kissed you it was like all the rational parts of your brain shut off and stayed off until he started to touch you elsewhere. The hand that was trapping you against the wall found its way to the small of your back. And held you flush against him. The hand that was caressing your face applied thumb pressure to your cheek causing you to open your mouth. His tongue snuck in encapsulating you into a deeper kiss. 

You heard him moan into the kiss, into your mouth. You felt hot, your body and mind betraying your rational thoughts. But then again your brain shut off when he kissed you. But luckily for the rational part of your brain, the hand on the small of your back started to wander down towards your ass. 

You tried your best to break the kiss, to push him off of you. It slightly worked, he stopped kissing you and let you go, but you were still trapped against the wall. 

“You never answered my previous questions.”

“No, but you are a beautiful songbird Kitten.” He leaned in to try and kiss you again.


	41. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren isn’t really a nice guy. He smashes consoles, chokes people with the Force and kills people. So there are times he is very angry towards Reader. Some of it is verbal, some of it is physical. If you are expecting a super cute full of fluff story this isn’t it. Here is your warning to turn back now.

Your hand meets his lips stopping him from kissing you, he was not happy about this. 

“Before you get any more kisses you will answer my questions.” 

He fully backed away from you, he went to retrieve his helmet and left the room. He left you all alone versus actually trying to talk to you. 

You were done. You picked up your data pad and messaged General Hux, ‘I would like a ship to escort me down to the planet’s surface or I need you to send the Supreme Leader back to our chambers.’

You received a ping moments later, ‘I will have an escort ready for you in 20 minutes.’

The door opened to reveal Lieutenant Mitaka, “The allegiant general said you may wish to see me.”

“Yes, send a message that female officer to come down here, I need help packing. I am going away for a few days.”

“Right away ma’am,” he sent a message. “Does the Supreme Leader know you are leaving?”

“He will soon enough, you will not inform him of this. If he would like to know anything about me for the next couple of days he will have to ask me himself.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” You could tell he was infinitely worried about the outcome of keeping this from the Supreme Leader. You knew it was part of his job to report your condition to him, to essentially spy on you for him, but that didn’t matter at the moment. You were going to break out of your cage for a few days until Kylo decided that you were his empress and not just a songbird. You were a kitten showing your claws. 

The female officer arrived and assisted you in packing. You estimated that you should pack for two weeks, as that would give you enough clothes to wash just in case he decided to be more of a jerk than he already was. But you knew you might not even be gone for more than a few hours. 

“Lieutenant, is Phasma still on the OK list to guard me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good, tell her I would like her to accompany me on this trip. I shall have no use for the knights anyway.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Make sure she knows that I have packed for at least a two-week stay. Do you need to pack lieutenant?”

“Yes ma’am but it will only take a few moments. Will I need to pack anything special?”

“Not unless you want to.” 

You were all packed. You told the lieutenant to meet you back here when he was finished and to have his and your bags sent to the hangar. The lieutenant was gone all of five minutes before returning. You wondered if his quarters were close because they needed to be or if he just ran frantically down the halls, but he didn’t seem out of breath. 

You both made your way to the hangar where you were greeted by the sterling-plated captain and the illustrious allegiant general. 

“Where might you be heading off to m’lady, in case the Supreme Leader inquires,” asked Hux. 

You looked directly at him before boarding the command shuttle, Kylo’s command shuttle, “to my parents.” 

You sat and waited for the captain and lieutenant to board. “Will you require more guard than myself m’lady,” asked the captain. 

“No,” you said simply. While you might not have the greatest relationship with them you would be safe with them. You knew you probably won’t be there long, once he caught wind that you had left, but you were prepared none the less. 

The shuttle took off and you three sat in silence. One look at the lieutenant and you saw that he was ready for some sort of beast to tear into the sides of the shuttle. You were worried yes, but you were mostly angry. Deep down you knew he wouldn’t kill you, but he may try to scare you. 

It didn’t take long for the shuttle to land, you all departed. There were two other stormtroopers with you, carrying the bags. You approached your house and knocked on the door. Phasma and the others were patiently waiting behind you. 

“Y/N? What is all this,” asked your mother answering the door. 

“I thought I would come home for a few days.”

“Unannounced,” asked your father standing right behind her. 

“I am not really allowed to notify people of my movements at the moment. Are we able to come in?”

Your parents stepped aside and allowed you all to enter. The two stormtroopers set your bags inside and abruptly left to guard the front door. You then heard the command shuttle take off.

“Mom. Dad. This is Captain Phasma and Lieutenant Mitaka. They will be staying with us.” 

“And the others outside,” asked your mother.

“They won’t be disturbing us m’lady,” said Phasma. 

Your parents were taken aback at her female voice. You supposed that the only stormtroopers that they came in contact with were all male. In fact, she was the only female ‘trooper you had seen. 

“How long will you be staying,” asked your mother. 

“I don’t know, hopefully no longer than two weeks but we will have to see.”

“Why are you here,” asked your father.

“Well do you remember why I called the other day, the news I had to tell you?”

“You called a day after your normal check-in date. We talked about your brother getting a new position, your sister’s work, your other brother having doubts,” said your mother.

“Yes, but what did I have to tell you? Or did you not listen past that in favor of my siblings?”

“Don’t be like that Y/N, you called to tell us about meeting your match. Is that what this is about,” at least your father remembered. 

“Yes, I am here because I might be going away for a long time and this may be my last chance to see you,” you lied, rather you didn’t know if you were telling the truth or not. Kylo would probably fail to tell you when or if you would be going away for a long time so you thought it best to try and be prepared.

“And the guards,” asked your mother rather annoyed. 

“I told you that he was a high ranking officer. They are here for my protection, I can’t go anywhere now alone.”

“Yes, but isn’t this one special,” asked your mother pointing to Phasma. “How high ranking is he?”

“Yes, the captain is special. She commands all ‘troopers. And I can’t tell you, all I can tell you is that he is high ranking.”

Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. “So you aren’t even allowed to tell your own family?”

“Not until the Supreme Leader allows it.” That wasn’t a lie at least. 

“I see, are we ever going to meet him,” asked your mother. 

“Who?”

“Your match,” said your father. 

“Hopefully, he should be the one coming to pick me up at the end of this visit.” You turned to look at the lieutenant who was trying his best to mask the fear he was feeling but he was really struggling. 

“Would you like something to eat,” your mother asked the captain and the lieutenant. You could see her start to target the lieutenant, she could sense his fear. She would probably try to corner him at some point to try and get answers from him.

Both said no, but your mother started dinner anyways. You made your way into the kitchen and the captain and lieutenant followed but stayed in the dining room. 

“That’s a new look,” said your mother. 

You looked down at your dress. “Yes, it was his idea.”

“I like it, you look more like a lady. I always liked you in dresses,” commented your mother. 

Of course, she did. You had made the choice of a simple wardrobe for ease and financial reasons, but she had always tried to buy you dresses and more frilly girly things. Things that did not match your style and things that you had nowhere to wear. 

“Did he buy you more or is that the only dress?” You could tell that she was eye up the dress to possibly steal it. 

“Yes, he took me on a shopping trip, or rather he had the captain take me on one. He bought me a whole new wardrobe filled with dresses and all of the things you like. But I don’t think he will let me share. He really isn’t really the sharing type.”

“And he could afford all of this. He’s that high up?”

“Mother, I told you I can’t tell you. But yes he can. He gets paid really well.” 

“He gets paid well enough to buy you a new wardrobe of designer clothes?” She was on to you. 

“Yes, but they gave us a rather large discount. They want to be in good favor with the First Order higher-ups,” you lied. But actually, you never got to see the total amount of what you spent. For all, you knew you could be telling the truth. 

“So he’s high up, high up. Is he a general? An admiral?”

“I can’t tell you, you should stop asking questions mother. You don’t want to get in trouble.”

She let out a hmph, and turned back to making dinner. You grabbed the dishes to set the table. You entered the dining room and the lieutenant jumped up. 

“Let me help you m’lady,” said the lieutenant. 

“Lieutenant I am fine. You are guests in my parents’ house. And setting the table isn’t really a big deal.” You urged him to sit back down. 

“I don’t think the suprem---” you cut him off with a look before he could finish. 

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks right now. Until he gets here you are fine.” You tried calming him down. “I won’t let him do anything to you, or the captain for that matter. He likes to blame other’s  _ incompetence  _ for things that are his own problems.”

“I appreciate the sentiment m’lady,” said the captain. 

“If he wants me to come back he will have to apologize and come get me himself. I won’t have him hurt either of you. I ordered you both to come with me and for the general to arrange this. He will have to deal with this rationally if he wants me to come back,” you said in a hushed voice knowing your mother may try to eavesdrop.

“Rationality is not exactly what he is known for m’lady,” said the captain. 

“Yes, but this time he doesn’t have a choice,” you responded before heading back into the kitchen to finish grabbing what you need to set the table. 

Dinner was an interesting affair. Phasma took off her helmet and your parents seemed surprised again to see that she was a woman and a rather beautiful one too. Your mother still seemed to be targeting the lieutenant. You thought the First Order could use her in an interrogation room as she seemed pretty skilled but you and the captain came to his aid any time she asked a question that seemed to be out of line. 

After dinner, your father retreated back down to the television your mother was at the other one. This was their nightly routine, your mother made dinner, they ate and then they went their separate ways to watch their different shows until they went to bed. They were matches but you never really saw them agree on much. They had their occasional fights and arguments like most couples but they weren’t the fairytale happily ever after. You wondered if they weren’t matches would they have ever gotten married? Probably not. 

Your mother was a complainer, but your father was a sweet man. Even though they both tended to ignore you for your siblings you were thankful that they didn’t kick you out when you arrived. You never seemed to meet their expectations, but that didn’t matter right now. You got two of the other rooms ready for the captain and the lieutenant. You would be in your childhood bedroom. You put the captain in the room closest to you, your sister’s, and the lieutenant in one of your brother’s rooms.

The lieutenant followed you around like a lost puppy trying to let you let him help you. You kept telling him you were fine and that he was a guest. The captain took this time to roam through the house and to check things out. She checked on the ‘troopers outside and she checked the perimeter.

You had a feeling that Kylo would come to get you tomorrow. You had a feeling that he was probably wreaking havoc on the ship, but you didn’t care right now. Well, you did care about officers and their safety, you didn’t want them hurt, but he needed to learn a lesson. One that might cost him and the First Order a bit, but it was one that he needed to learn. 

You got ready for bed, your mother came into the bathroom and seemed to inspect your new luxury skincare products and she seemed to follow you into your room and inspect your bags too. She seemed to be very interested in all of your new clothes. You knew if you weren’t careful something might just walk off with her. Not that you really cared about your new things, but you weren’t going to have her think that it was ok to do so. 

Once ready for bed you said goodnight to your parents and the lieutenant and captain. Surprisingly you had an easy time falling asleep without the aid of any pills. You did not dream much, but what you did was pleasant and when you woke in the morning you felt rested. 

You walked downstairs after getting dressed in another floral dress, but this one was a swing dress that had a nice pouf in the skirt. You greeted everyone good morning and went about finishing getting ready. Your father was making breakfast. Your mother once again came in to inspect your new things. 

“You know, I had one of the officers make a list of everything I brought with me. They will inspect my bags once I return,” you lied. That seemed to catch her attention though as she put what she was holding down and walked away. It made you giggle internally. 

You joined everyone for breakfast which seemed to be as pleasant as last night’s dinner. Once breakfast was finished you helped your father with the dishes. 

“Is he treating you right? Is that why you are here,” you had always had a better relationship with him, he could read you a bit better than your mother could. 

“He messed up a bit and I needed a break. I don’t have my apartment anymore. I also needed to send him a message.” 

“Does he know you are here?”

“Yes. I left a message. If he wants me to come back he will have to apologize the right way. I obviously can’t tell you much, but he needs to learn what is ok and what is not. How often do girls run away to their parents’?”

“I suppose I can’t really threaten him like back in the old days can I? Well if he is smart he should be here soon. Your mother has been eyeing your bags.”

“I know she has been. But you are right you can’t threaten him it would be treason. I am hoping he will be here soon as it would prove my point that he can’t just treat me any way he wants to.”

Your father and you just went about finishing the dishes in silence. Once done you went to check on the lieutenant and captain. Who were in your room for some reason. 

“M’lady your mother keeps checking your bags,” said the lieutenant. 

“I know. She wants something, I don’t know what but usually if I have something nice she tries to take it. It doesn’t bother me really but if you want to threaten her captain in regards to my safety go right ahead.”

You heard a chuckle come from her, “will do ma’am.” 

With that, you heard the roar of shuttle engines outside. So he was finally coming to get you. You knew you needed to stand your ground, or what little ground you had. You went down to be the one to open the front door. 

There was a knock, you opened the door. There stood Kylo in a three-piece all-black suit with a grey tie with First Order symbols all over it. You slammed the door in his face and marched right back to your room and sat on your bed. 

There was another knock, this time your father answered the door. You could hear him and Kylo talking. Your mother called up to you, “Y/N your match is here to see you.”

“Tell him to go away,” you yelled down. 

The lieutenant and captain just stared at you. You really needed to help the lieutenant work on his poker face. 

You heard footsteps climb the stairs. At your door, you saw him. He ordered the lieutenant and captain to give you both privacy. He stood awkwardly for a few moments before saying, “you look nice.”

“I look like a housewife from the 1950s.”

“I said you could buy anything you wanted.”

“You told me, wait, no you told the captain to tell me that I needed to look like an empress. I didn’t have much to go off of other than corsets and huge fucking dresses. So I picked the next best thing I could think of, princesses.” 

“I can get you all of the best gowns in the galaxy. Long things that will trail behind you.”

“I don’t want gowns Kylo.”

“What do you want?”

“I want someone who will fucking talk to me. I want someone who will listen to me. Someone who won’t put thoughts into my head. I want a match who will be there for me, one who won’t make me into his trophy wife or puppet. One who won’t lie to me or keep secrets from me. I want a partner. How did it feel for me to treat you the same way you treat me?”

Kylo stayed silent for a while before extending his hand to you, an offering. “I want to take you home.”

“This is home Kylo.”

“No, I want to take you back to my home.  _ Our  _ home.” He grabbed your waist and hauled you up into a kiss. It felt much like your first one, all of the sparks and memories came crashing back. 

When the kiss finally broke you said, “You said you wanted me to be an empress, you wanted me to be the one to tell you when to strike. I can’t do that if you treat me like a songbird in a cage. I need to be treated better.”

His lips were on your neck, “You will be, but first I need to take you back.”

“What if I don’t want to go back?”

“You have to as we will be leaving Earth soon. The finalizer will take its place as running things and you and I will return to the _Supremacy_ where we will roam and rule the galaxy as we please.”

“And if I don’t want to go?”

“Then I will leave you on this Earth to rot and I will make General Pryde in charge of the planet. I’m sure that’s what you want isn’t it?”

You were afraid. He was about to make the general who he knew you didn’t like in charge of your home, in charge of your people. You were going to have to sacrifice a bit of yourself to keep them safe. 

“I will go, but I want to choose who gets left in charge of Earth, and I would like to be able to say goodbye to my friends. And I would like to be honest with all of them about who you are. I should be safe because we won’t be here long.”

He looked at you for a moment, before crashing his lips harshly down on yours. Once the kiss was broken, “As you wish Kitten.” With that, he waited for you to finish packing before escorting you downstairs to the living room where your parents, the captain, the lieutenant and General Hux were sitting. 

His grip around your waist was tight. There would be no running away. 

“Sir and Madam I am aware that your daughter has told you that I am a high ranking officer in the First Order. This isn’t true. I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order. It would do you both well to keep this a secret if you wish to continue living.” He then swept you out the door while barking to the others to grab your bags. 

The look of horrification on your parents’ faces was something that was burned into your mind forever. You tried to look back at the house but you were yanked forward by the man next to you. He practically dumped you into your seat before he buckled you in. You could feel the Force holding you down keeping you from going anywhere. 

“If you run from me again, I will have no mercy on your planet or your people. You are mine. You are not the empress yet. Not until you finish your training. For now, you are mine to do with as I wish. I will respect your wish to wait, but just know that I am not a patient man.”

You saw the others carrying the bags. You may have just made things worse for all of you. The man sitting next to you was not the same man you had first met. He was changed. He was darker. He was scarier. He was a beast. And you needed to figure out how to tame him without getting caught in his claws. You were a kitten, he was a lion. You had to think quickly otherwise you didn’t stand a chance. 


	42. Lies and Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the tags before reading. I have updated "warnings." So if it looks like it isn't something you want to read now, I suggest you turn back.

You wanted to break the tension in the shuttle, “you look nice.”

Kylo looked down at his suit, “It was Hux’s recommendation, to not draw too much attention to who I am, but that’s out the door now.” He was most certainly angry with you now.

“Well I like it, we look like a pair now.” You tried to defuse the situation. He did look good. 

“Would you like to visit them today or tomorrow?”

“Who?”

“Your friends. You said you wanted to see them before we go. So that is either today or tomorrow.” There was a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“Why don’t we visit them today? I have a feeling you don’t want to ruin both days do you?”

“Ruin both days,” he asked rather annoyedly.

“I thought you really didn’t like people. So get it over with now and tomorrow might be a better day.”

He scoffed, “It will be a better day if you cooperate.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. Not knowing how to respond. You then heard him give orders to the pilot to change courses to Toronto and to Mitaka to let your friends know you were on your way. Other than that you sat in relative silence. 

A tear slipped down your cheek. You tried to hold back your emotions, but you were failing miserably.

A gloved hand came to your cheek and a pair of lips to your ear, “don’t cry you don’t want that to be the last image they have of you do you?”

You sniffled, “this will be the last time I get to see them?”

“Until you are empress, yes.” The hand carded itself through your hair. As much as you hated it it was comforting and you leaned into him as best as you could. His Force hold on you was no longer there. 

A few minutes later the shuttle landed and the exit ramp lowered. You felt the Force holding you down once more as you were being unbuckled by him. It made you feel like a child, what once was rather endearing and protective felt controlling and possessive. Once unbuckled he took your arm in his and you could feel the heavy air of the Force keeping you with him. He wasn’t going to let you run. Not this time. 

You exited together. The others following behind you, you were at Carter’s place. Both Carter and Hayden had larger apartments than you did, but Carter’s was always the fanciest one. Why you all always spent time in your tiny apartment was something you would never understand. 

You all crammed into the elevator, Kylo’s grip on you never letting up. You got to Carter’s floor and you walked down the hall to their door. Kylo knocked hard. 

Carter opened the door and their eyes were as wide as dinner plates, “Y/N? Why don’t you all come in?” 

You did, Kylo maneuvered you through the door and you were greeted by an equally wide-eyed Hayden. 

You all sat around Carter’s living room. The tension in the air was something you could choke on. 

Carter was the first to speak, “are you going to introduce us Y/N?” 

You turned your head to look at Kylo, whose eyes were burning into your’s, “Go on, tell them who we are.” 

You bit your lip before turning back to Carter and Hayden. “This is my match. The redheaded man you see over there as you know is Allegiant General Hux. The silver armored stormtrooper is Captain Phasma and the officer is Lieutenant Mitaka.”

His voice was low and dark, “tell them who I am.”

You swallowed back, but your mouth was dry. “This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.” You swore you could feel the metallic taste of blood in your mouth you were chewing on your lip so hard. 

Both of them, Carter and Hayden dropped to their knees and surprised you. Their voices in robotic unison, “Supreme Leader forgive us for our ignorance.” 

Kylo’s head lifted with a sense of superiority, “you are forgiven.” 

They remained on their knees with their eyes focused on the ground in front of them. You were in shock at what you were witnessing. 

“Why are they doing this,” you asked. 

“This is the effectiveness of the education, or enlightenment that they have received,” replied Hux. 

Before you could verbalize the disgust you were feeling Kylo was hauling you up and out the apartment. You tried to break free and to try to reason with your friends, but his actual grip and the grip of the Force tightened around you. You were in his snares and he was not letting you go. 

He practically slammed you down into the seat on the shuttle. When he buckled you this time he tightened the straps so they dug into you unpleasantly. 

Your voice was small, “why are you doing this?”

“Why does anyone do anything? Power. Order. Control. I tried to warn you, as did the general. Well, you are now out of warnings.” 

And just like that, everything about your previous life came crashing down. Your fairytale was no more. You were to be his songbird and there was nothing you could do about it. You were pretty sure all of the sweet things he had ever said to you were lies. 

He wasn’t a man. He was a monster. 

His head snapped to look at you, a hand wrapped itself around your throat and yanked your head harshly to look at him. “DON’T YOU EVER THINK OF CALLING ME THAT AGAIN.”

If you thought he yelled at you before it was nothing compared to what just happened. Or was it a scream, you didn’t know. You could see out of the corner of your eye that the general and the lieutenant looked terrified. Captain Phasma’s body language told you that she was too. At the same time, the ship seemed to buckle with turbulence that you were sure never happened before now. 

You were terrified. Tears fell down your face. He was in your mind and there was nothing you could do about it. No, you were still in a fairytale, but one that you were sure that didn’t have a happy ending. You wanted whoever was writing this story to stop the torment. Your heart couldn’t handle it. 

The shuttle docked on the ship. The exit ramp lowered and Kylo ordered, “get out,” to everyone on board. Even the pilot and copilot left. He unbuckled himself and walked over to the wall and the ramp closed. You were now alone with him, strapped into your stupid seat.

He walked over to you and crouched down in front of you. His eyes drill into your’s, into your skull. You could no longer tell what his eyes were hiding. They seemed to once be windows into his subconscious, into his soul, now they were vault doors and you didn’t have the combination anymore. 

You watched as his breathing sped up, in what you guessed was anger. “I will give you what I promised, but only if you cooperate. You will say, do and think as I tell you to. If you want to be an empress, my empress, you will have to earn it. You will have to show me that you are worthy of it. Because I am not afraid of, doing as you said, keeping you like a songbird. Locked in a cage and only taken out when I want you to sing. I am not afraid of keeping you locked away, because you are mine and no one else’s. Do you understand?”

The words died on your lips as you tried to say “yes.”

He spoke louder this time, “Do you understand?”   
  


It took all of your energy, “yes.”

“Good.” His hand went to your throat once more, this time it was gentler. “Now Kitten, I do not like having to do any of this. But you need to understand who is in charge. You only have power because I have given it to you. But I believe with the right training and guidance you will eventually be able to take power for yourself.”

His hand shifted up to your face and caressed your cheek, his bare thumb rubbing over your lips, “Now Kitten I promised you that I would wait, but that doesn’t mean I won’t play with you before then.” You heard the clicks of the buckles come undone. You felt his arms beneath you as he proceeded to bridal carry you out of the shuttle and back to your chambers. 

He carried you up the steps and threw you down onto his bed before crawling on top of you. His lips came crashing down on top of yours. His teeth bit into your lower lip causing you to gasp, he took this as an opportunity to practically shove his tongue down your throat. You heard him laugh at this. One of his hands ran along the inside of your leg and shoved it to the side, he forced himself between your legs. He bucked into you. This made you gasp even more as you struggled to break the kiss. His lips started to trail down your body, he nipped at your collar bone.

You struggled to find the words, “I thought you said we would wait?” A small part of your mind was screaming out to have him stop, but the rest of you was entranced by his spell. 

“We will, but like I said I want to play with you,” you could hear him chuckle in response. His lips found their way up to your ear and he placed a kiss there. “I will follow your wish only if you obey me. But in the meantime, you will let me do as I wish.” 

His hands pinned yours above you, but it only took one of his to hold you down. His hand trailed down your body and came to rest on your breast before giving it a rather rough squeeze. You squirmed, which caused him to buck his hips again, but this time he also ground into you. His lips encapsulated yours once more. His hand kneading into your breast, his fingers flexing and splaying around you. 

The hand that was holding yours above your head let go and trailed itself down your side and down your thigh before pushing your skirt up. Your hands clutched his back and his hair out of excitement and fear. His hand felt your wetness through your underwear, you heard him chuckle again. “Are you sure you want to wait, Kitten?” 

The small bit of rational brain that you had left screamed, “yes,” but it came out broken. 

He chuckled again, “have it your way then.” He then proceeded to grind his fully clothed crotch into your barely covered wetness. 

You could feel what you were doing to him. He sped up and both of his hands squeezed your breasts, which caused you to buck up into him. He moaned into your ear. His grinding turned into dry humping. He asked once more, “Are you sure you want to wait,” this time it came out as more of a heated groan.

Your brain was short-circuiting, the heat, and the pleasure you were feeling were almost taking over, almost. “Please,” it came out all breathy.

You could feel his excitement. “Please what Kitten?”

“Wait.” 

You could feel his disappointment as he bucked harder against you. “As you wish.” His teeth were marking your skin now. Sucking and biting and kissing. His lips came up to yours and it felt as if he was trying to get you to swallow his tongue. You could hear him repeat, “Mine, mine, mine,” into your mouth. One of his hands found its way to your clothed wetness once more and began rubbing circles into you. Your brain was going haywire. 

You moaned into his mouth as your orgasm eventually came crashing in. Your eyes fluttered and your breath hitched. He sped up his hand until your wave was over. He moaned into your mouth before he broke your kiss. He flipped you both so he was spooning you on your side, he continued to kiss up and down your neck while grinding into your ass. One of his hands rested grabbing your breast while the other was against your clothed heat. You stayed like that until you drifted off into sleep. When you finally awoke you could smell that he had taken a shower.

“Did you relieve yourself,” you asked. 

“Yes, I promised to wait, but I did not promise to keep either of us from orgasming. I helped you and I needed to help myself. Would you like to try that again,” as he asked his index finger followed the line of your fire and your toes curled. 

“No, I am good for now.” It took all you had to respond. His lips then found their way up and down your neck.

Eventually, he stopped and hooked his chin over your shoulder. “I need to attend to some things. You will need to come with me. I am not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the day.” He then got up and pulled you up along with him. With your hand in his, he leads you back out into the real world. Into the other parts of your cage. 


	43. A Decision is Made

He escorted you down to the conference room where the First Order High Command had gathered, or rather all present persons had gathered and any others appeared as hologram projections. 

He sat you down in a chair at the middle of the table. Allegiant General Hux was to your right and General Parnadee to your left, Admiral Griss faced her and General Pryde faced Hux. The chair opposite of you was empty, you knew that it was to be Kylo’s chair that he never seemed to use.    
  
“Lady Ren and myself will be leaving Earth in two days. I am sure you are all wondering what will be done. The  _ Finalizer  _ will be stationed here until a proper base can be built,” said Kylo, his mask distorting his voice.

Heads around the room nodded in acknowledgment and agreement. 

“I also know many of you are eager to hear who will be left in charge of the planet.” As he said this many of the generals and admirals had looks of excitement in their eyes. “I have made an agreement with Lady Ren, she is the one who will make the decision as to who will be left in charge. She will give us her decision now.”

You knew he knew that you had yet to make a decision on what you had only discussed hours ago. You only knew a few of the faces in the room, this was something he knew too. He wanted the upper hand in the relationship, all of the power and control. 

You needed to play your hand right, to gain some semblance of power, of control. You acted quickly hoping your brain would make the right decision. You turned to your right, “Allegiant General Hux, I value your opinion on this matter. How well would you recommend General Parnadee?” 

You saw Kylo’s head shift, questioning you, even though you knew he could see into your mind you were acting on impulse. Something you weren’t thinking about too much ahead of time. And it was throwing him for a loop.

“General Bellava Parnadee is a good candidate m’lady. She received exemplary marks when she was in the Academy. She also has been highly admired by subordinates and peers. After the fall of Hosnian Prime, she focused on the occupation of contested worlds and directed ground forces on Torost, Odynnia Gavo and the planet  Kijimi. Her input is invaluable as she has an avid love of history, but instead of admiring the past she learns from it, builds from it. I believe she would be most excellent in guiding your home planet to be a model for the First Order and the rest of the galaxy,” said Hux. 

You could see the woman in question sitting next to swell in pride at the compliments from the allegiant general and from the honor of being a candidate. You could also see Pryde’s jaw twitch at the allegiant general’s words. Especially the part about learning from history and not idolizing it. 

You turned to her, “I am willing to offer you the position only if you agree to weekly debriefings with me, however that may need to work. And you will take my advice and input. Do you accept the position General Parnadee?”

“I would be honored to m’lady. I now recognize this as your home planet, it is one of the most valuable resources the First Order has and I will treat it with respect,” she responded. 

Although you had your disagreement with her earlier, over the treatment of your people, you trusted Hux. You also knew you could stand up to her when it was needed. And honestly, you knew that an admiral was in charge of ships and a general was in charge of ground forces, mostly. So you had a very limited choice in who you could choose. And as much as you wanted to be as far away from the unpleasant gaze of General Pryde, you knew you could not leave him in charge of your home. 

“Congratulations General Parnadee,” said Kylo. The room was still, you had no idea how he would react to this decision, and it seemed that no one else did either. You wondered if he could see that you still tried to hold some of the cards, some of the power. “We will be heading back to the  _ Supremacy  _ which will be docked outside Mars for a few more days, as we are finalizing permanent mining operations there. Once we are finished there we will be going on a mission that I have planned, those who need to know will know. But if done correctly we will be able to increase the size of our military ten-fold.”

There was a murmur of excitement throughout the room. A positive energy for once. 

“That is all, Allegiant General I have some matters to discuss with you.” With that everyone filled out of the room. 

Parnadee thanked you again. You could feel General Pryde’s eyes rake over you before he left, it sent the most unpleasant shivers down your spine. You remained in your seat knowing that you were only allowed to leave when Kylo allowed it. 

“You will continue educating Lady Ren. But see to it that you find a way to keep a close watch on Pryde. I do not want him on board the  _ Supremacy _ but I do not want him attempting anything,” you heard Kylo telling Hux. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader. Did you think about my recommendation for Lady Ren?”

“I believe you are correct,” he then turned to you. “You will have two ladies-in-waiting joining us on board the  _ Supremacy.  _ One will be your choice, one will be mine. They will keep you company and keep you occupied when neither the general or I will be around. You will receive more when you become empress, but for now, the two will do. I expect you to make a decision by tomorrow morning.” 

Two ladies-in-waiting? You needed to pick someone to trap in your cage with you. Could you be so cruel to someone who already had their own freedom? No one came to mind when you initially thought of it, maybe you would need to ask for help, but not from Kylo. You know this was just him throwing you another bone. 

Kylo and the general continued discussing matters you had no interest in, you zoned out. You had no idea how long you were out of it before Kylo pulled you up and guided you back to your chambers. Chambers that were now guarded by two knights right outside the door. Your guarded cage. 

You were there for dinner, which was quiet. Neither of you speak, or rather want to speak. You tried to keep any thoughts you had buried deep down, tried to keep your mind from wandering to things he wouldn’t approve of. After dinner, you both headed to the living room, where he pulled you down onto his lap, his heavy arms trapping you against him. 

He groaned at the pressure of you on him. His lips found your neck as he turned on the big projector screen, the same one Hux had used during your tutoring session, but this time it was some weird First Order children’s show and not some boring etiquette video. 

You weren’t at all interested in the show, but anytime your eyes shifted away for too long he snapped his fingers and pointed to the screen. But he was also distracting you with his lips and the fingers that kept exploring your sides. Eventually one of his hands came to rest on your heat once more, this time pushing your underwear aside and letting his fingers roam free. You were frozen but just as he tried to tease the tip of his finger into your entrance you cried out, “no!” 

His fingers backed away but still tried to roam, so you caught his wrist in your hand, “no.” 

He scoffed and brought his fingers to his lips, tasting the wetness that had seeped out of you, “mmm better than I could have imagined.” His other hand came up to squeeze your breast while the other one moved back down to squeeze your ass. “Why deny something that you want?” His voice dripped in sensuality, low and velvety. 

A moan escaped your lips, again only a small part of your brain was screaming for him to stop, the rest of your body betraying you. Before you could answer one of his hands, grab yours and pull it behind you to feel his crotch, you could feel his hardness beneath you. “Do you feel what you do to me?”

“Yes,” you called out. Your heartbeat was in your ears. You couldn’t really even breathe. All he seemed to want to do was to set fire to your nerves. “I want to wait.” 

“When? When will I fully have you?” he breathed into the crook of your neck, grinding your hand harder down onto himself. 

That small bit of rational brain had a thought and it ran like wildfire. “When I become empress, on that first night.” Your breathing hitched. “A celebration, for both of us.”

He groaned in frustration as he bucked up into your hand, into your ass. He then bit down rather hard on your shoulder, “As you wish Kitten.” His hand then squeezed your breast hard once more before picking you up and carrying you up the stairs. 

He set you down in front of the closet that held your sleep clothes. You grabbed what you needed to get ready and headed to the bathroom where Kylo trapped you in the doorway. “No misbehaving.” He then hooked his hand under your chin and came down with a crashing kiss before letting you go. 

The door shut and you felt as if it was the first time you have had a chance to breathe all day. You quickly took a shower and got ready for bed. You noticed your neck was now littered with dark lovebites. You left the bathroom and your body was immediately pulled into his, his lips crashing onto yours. He sucked and bit on your bottom lip asking for entrance which you granted. He pulled you down on top of him on the bed. 

His hands trailed down your back and squeezed your ass. This caused you to straddle him. He groaned into your mouth as he rolled his pelvis into yours. You pushed yourself up onto your elbows breaking the kiss. He looked up at you, “Does Kitten not want to play,” he teased. 

“Kitten would like to sleep,” you referred to yourself in the third person and used his nickname for you. You crawled to the left side of the bed and lay on your side with your back to Kylo, who crawled up to spoon you. 

As he started to grind into you once more he said into your hair, “Mmm I can’t wait to get my kitten to purr.” This was the last thing you heard before you drifted off to sleep. 

Your dreams were filled with the kinder man you had first met. You dreamed of him saving you from a high tower off a cliffside with waves crashing at the bottom. He was still a knight, but this time classically dressed in armor. He rode a beautiful white steed and he seemed happy. He saved you after slaying an awful black dragon, that spit red fire and had yellow eyes. It was the largest dragon you had ever seen, a legend in your dream world. In the end, you rode off into the sunset with him to a beautiful castle filled with light. Every fiber of your being wished this dream, this fairytale would come true. 

Sadly it looked like you were not going to get your prince charming as you were still trapped with the dragon, that hoarded your beauty and happiness like gold. 


	44. Facing the Consequences

You awoke with pressure behind your ear. As you become more conscious you realized Kylo was leaving a love mark behind it, for whatever reason. “Ah, Kitten is awake. Good, I need to go to training.” He got up from behind you before pulling you up to do the same. 

It was just as early as the other morning you had watched him train. You weren’t coherent enough for this, but he had said that he was going to keep an eye on you so that is what he intended on doing. You were a kitten on a leash or a songbird in a cage. You were attached to his hip. 

You got up and got ready this time putting on a turtleneck and trousers in an attempt to hide his love marks. You did a subtle amount of makeup in an attempt to draw attention to your face and not the dark bruise behind your ear. When you came out of the bathroom Kylo hooked a finger in your collar while his lips grazed your cheek before whispering in your ear, “I know exactly what you are doing Kitten.” His finger then widens the opening of your neck while his lips dipped down to make one of your marks darker. His other hand came to squeeze your ass, “Mmm Kitten there is no time to play.”

He was telling you there was no time to play? He was the one obsessed with playing with you, you wanted to be left alone. He was the horny one, your spark mostly ignited when he kissed you or touch you in certain ways. Your body often betraying your brain. 

Like the last time, you and he were to have breakfast after training. You were greeted by the lieutenant as usual. You all made your way to the room, the only real difference this time was the presence of Captain Phasma. You joined her and Hux on the outside of the circle. Phasma moved so they were now on either side of you. 

Kylo and the knights proceeded to spar. He routinely glanced in your direction, you couldn’t tell if it was because he needed to make sure you were there or if it was because he was looking for something else. You made the conscious decision to ignore him. 

The lieutenant produced a cup of stimcaf for you without you having to ask. That man needed a pay raise, you thought as you brought the just right temp liquid to your lips. 

You were the first to speak in your little group, “I have been tasked to choose a lady in waiting. And I have no idea how to do it.” 

You watched the general who contemplated your predicament, but it was Phasma who spoke up first. “The girl from the shopping center. She seemed to be knowledgable enough about what you would need.” 

Before you could respond the Hux asked, “what was her name?”

“Olivia-Rose Gordon,” responded Lieutenant Mitaka. 

This caused Hux to look up something on his data pad, “She is 27, unmarried, matchless, no children, a clean record. She would be a good candidate.”

Your head was spinning. “I can’t just ask her to be my lady in waiting.”

“Why not,” asked Phasma. 

“Because she might feel pressured to accept and then she will be trapped in space far from home,” the weight of your words not fully hitting you yet. 

“I assure you m’lady she will not be trapped. She will be given one of the most prestigious positions in the galaxy. She will be able to travel with you and given many luxuries your planet cannot offer her.”

Your mind was frozen. You knew she would be trapped with you if you were to ask her, would it even be fair? Before you could respond Phasma spoke once more, “she seemed taken with you m’lady, and she seemed interested in the opportunity to travel, she asked about it during her registration.”

“Send someone out of uniform to ask her, I don’t want her to be pressured into it. If she says no, we will need to respect that.” 

“As you wish m’lady,” responded the general who then seemed to type out the order on his data pad. 

You then just all seem to watch the training, your mind drifted back to the horrifying thought that you will no longer be able to be home in a matter of minutes. That small rational part of your brain kept telling you that you will still be in the solar system for a few days. That you will still be home in a sense. 

Your mind then drifted to all the memories you didn’t get to make, all of the Friday nights going out to the bars with Carter and Hayden, all of the birthdays with your nieces and nephews, all of the holidays back at your parents’ place. You had no idea when you would become empress so you had no idea when you would be able to come back, if at all. 

If Kylo was any other man you could simply reason with him to end any sort of romantic relationship, and just be platonic matches. You could then be free, and not caged like you are now, but he wasn’t any other man, and your heart wouldn’t be able to take it. You had to face the fact that you loved him, as twisted as he was becoming you did love him. 

Another thought drifted into your mind, who would he choose? You were allowed to pick one of your ladies-in-waiting but who would he choose? Did he already know her? Did you already know her? Come to think of it you had yet to ask the general what happened while you were gone. How did Kylo react? 

“Tell me general, how did he react to my departure?” 

“I was able to have the damage done to your chambers repaired before we returned, but just barely. There are still several communications terminals that need repairs, an entire squadron of ‘troopers are still recovering in the medical bay, as is that female officer,” his voice trailed off. 

“Oh, no what did he do to her,” you ask. 

“It wasn’t pleasant, to say the least, she has a broken clavicle, a fractured sternum, several cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and broken femur.” 

“Why did he do it,” you were concerned you had rather liked her. 

“Several reasons apparently, in his eyes she failed to report that you were leaving, both the lieutenant and I had orders from you one way or another as to not tell him, she did not. She had taken a few pieces of jewelry while you were packing, and she has had a not so subtle infatuation with the Supreme Leader. This is not uncommon among some of the younger female officers. Especially if they have had the chance to see him without his helmet.” 

“Even if she did do all that she didn’t deserve to be beaten like that.” 

“I say she got off better than execution,” replied Phasma. “She also attempted to seduce him once he cornered her.” 

You felt as if you were not talking about the same sweet girl that helped you pack. “But she should have been demoted and reassigned, not have the crap beaten out of her.”

“I would have executed her,” commented Phasma. 

You looked at her. 

“What? It’s what I would have done,” she reasoned. Even through her helmet, you could hear that she was honestly telling the truth. 

“I still feel bad, maybe I should go and apologize to her.” 

“I don’t think that would be a wise decision m’lady. I also do not believe the Supreme Leader would allow it,” said Hux. 

  
You frowned. Of course, he wouldn’t, but then again he would probably want to escort you so maybe it was for the best, not having him near her. 

Kylo and the knights were wrapping up training, all of the high ranking officers done giving him their morning debriefings. Soon you would be at his will once more, following him wherever he pleased. He took your arm in his and took you back to your chambers.

You both ate breakfast before he got ready for the day, while he was in the shower Trudgen and Kuruk were waiting with you along with the lieutenant. You felt as if this was to tell you there would be no running away while he was busy. Once ready he informed you that he had one last meeting at the White House, to set up General Parnadee as the Commander of Earth.

You went about down the halls to the hangar where you were greeted by the large entourage of Hux, Parnadee, Phasma, Pyre and an escort of ‘troopers. Throughout the flight down to the surface Hux and Parnadee were discussing some of the importance of what she would be doing along with how many ‘troopers she would be expected to recruit initially. 

The shuttle lands and you all depart. Kylo’s grip on your arm tightens and you feel the Force around you do too. No running. Even if you did have the chance to run, where would you run to? 

Your parents would send you back, as would Carter and Hayden. The education they had received would be sure of that. You had no idea what state of mind your siblings would be in but you were pretty sure they were in the same boat. The entire planet was in the same boat. Your ark. And it was your covenant with Kylo that would keep it afloat. Your covenant would end the floods, and the suffering they may receive. 

Before you and Kylo enter the room the Hux asked to speak to you for a moment, and by you he meant both of you seeing as Kylo refused to let you go. 

“M’lady we have received an answer to your inquiry from earlier this morning,” said Hux. 

“We have,” you honestly didn’t expect an answer so soon. 

“Yes, m’lady. She has agreed to take the position as your lady-in-waiting. She will join you tomorrow on your departure from the  _ Steadfast  _ to the  _ Supremacy.  _ I have made arrangements for everything she will need. One of our seamstresses will assist you with packing, the lieutenant was kind enough to make an itemized list of your purchases, and everything will be checked. After that, any other trip you shall take one of your ladies-in-waiting will help you prepare,” responded Hux. 

Really, he was the one running things, making sure the whole First Order was together and operating with stellar efficiency. Whereas Kylo was the hammer that cracked down anytime he saw fit. He had others do the work, but he made sure those others were people that could do their jobs. Just as he was going to have you be his diplomat. He was an enforcer, a brute, a beast. You would be refined, tame, and calculated. You needed to keep a closer eye on the general to learn tips from him. He almost always knew when to bite back at Kylo and when to hold off, but you suppose it was because they have been doing this dance longer than you had, and he knew all the steps. 

Kylo then had Hux enter the room and you were left alone in the hallway with him. A hand came to hook itself under your chin to bring your eyes to meet his, or rather where his were supposed to be under his helmet. 

“You will behave yourself. Your people are to believe that Earth is completely under General Parnadee’s control and therefore my control. They are not to know exactly when we are leaving. You will remain quiet unless it is called upon you to speak, do I make myself clear Kitten?”

“Yes, you made yourself very clear, Kylo,” you respond. You could feel his grip on your chin tighten as you said his name. But you had an agreement that if he called you Kitten when you were alone that meant you could call him Kylo. 

He released your chin only after his leather-clad thumb swept over your lips, if he wasn’t wearing the helmet he would have kissed you. You entered the room together, much seemed the same except for all the projectors seemed to have video conferences with all of your world’s major leaders, like a giant U.N. meeting. Upon your entrance, everyone stood and gave a weird sort of salute, and in unison said, “Long Live the Supreme Leader.” 

All of the eyes of the world leaders looked different than from just over a week ago, they now looked dead. Their eyes had no life behind them, no soul. You were afraid, you were very afraid. Your ark was now tainted with sin, the devil had won. Your people were no longer your people anymore. You were alone in the galaxy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been getting to respond to comments as I would normally. I shall be trying to answer as much as I can today.


	45. A Decision is Put in Place

You sit down next to Kylo, the weight of the planet resting on your shoulders. You felt like you should morn, morn the loss of your people but they were still here. In fact, they might be better off than you, while they didn’t have control of their minds, their bodies were free and they don’t have a clue as to what they are missing. You, on the other hand, had a ‘free’ mind, but a trapped body. You were about to explore the endless galaxy while trapped inside your cage. 

You were silent sitting next to him. He was the first to speak, “Today your plant has a new commander. I present to you General Parnadee. She will oversee Earth and the rest of the annexation. She reports directly to me.” He gestured to the general sitting off to his left. He gave her the floor to speak. 

“Yes, I will be the one overseeing all First Order decisions. Admiral Griss and the  _ Finalizer _ will remain here with us until the main base is built. Your planet is invaluable to the First Order and will be treated as such,” she was calm and commanding in her tone. You hoped you had made the right decision. 

“And where will the Supreme Leader go might I ask,” asked the Prime Minister of Canada.

“I will be overseeing the annexation of another planet, but you will be receiving updates from me through General Parnadee or through a holo transmission,” replied Kylo.

You could see the various world leaders nod in acknowledgment. 

General Parnadee then went to talk about some of the logistics of how the next few days will work. You zoned out as it didn’t really pertain to you anymore and it was talking about moving ‘troopers to-and-fro. And relinquishing of militaries to the First Order. No one seemed to be opposed to this which had rather surprised you but you assumed the education was doing its work.

“Lady Ren will you be staying with us or will you be leaving with you Supreme Leader,” asked the President of the United States. 

“She will be leaving with me,” replied Kylo for you. It seemed that even though you were asked to speak, he wanted to do so for you. 

You saw the world leaders’ curiosity pique at this although none of them said anything further. 

General Parnadee continued on with logistics and you were bored out of your mind. It felt as you were there for an eternity before the meeting dismissed. But once it was you were immediately escorted by Kylo back to the shuttle, you didn’t even really have a second to say goodbye to your planet. You were sure this was the last time you would set foot on Earth’s surface for the foreseeable future. Kylo didn’t seem to care as he pulled you along. 

General Parnadee and Commander Pyre stayed behind. The rest of you were to return for lunch and after lunch was your usual lesson with the general. You and Kylo returned to your chambers to eat. You and he ate in comfortable but uncomfortable silence, you supposed this was something you had to get used to. 

After lunch, the general joined you in your living room once more going over etiquette recordings. Two of the knights joined you as Kylo was off somewhere else, to make sure you didn’t leave like before. 

[ **Ch. 6: At Public Gatherings** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_06_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 7: Conversation** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_07_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 8: Words, Phrases, and Pronunciation** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_08_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 9: One's Position in the Community** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_09_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 10: Cards and Visits** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_10_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 11: Invitations, Acceptances and Regrets** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_11_post.mp3)

Hux was doing work on his data pad once more, basically a supervisor to your audio recordings and not much more. Your lesson was a lot longer than usual and left you with little downtime, you supposed that since Kylo was off doing something else that he requested to have you occupied. You assumed that this would be your life for the next few weeks until he trusted you to be alone again, or until he trusted you to handle your own tasks if that day were to ever come. He stormed in just minutes after you were done and grabbed your arm and pulled you into the bedroom. 

His helmet was off and his lips came crashing down on yours. His lips moved to feverishly kiss you down your neck and back up again, pulling your turtleneck down to do so. His lips came to rest on the mark on the back of your ear. His tongue encircled it, his teeth grazed it. This love mark was his mark of ownership, his brand.

His hands roamed your body, caressing and squeezing where they pleased. Leaving no part of your body untouched. He held you firmly against himself like you were the oxygen he needed to breathe. One of his hands came to cradle the back of your head, gently bringing you to look at him. His voice sweet, and velvety, “hello Kitten, I have missed you.” His lips then sweetly took yours once more. 

You granted him entrance to your mouth, his tongue taking the lead in their dance. He deepened the kiss before trailing kisses down your neck once more. He seemed to be worshiping you, not as lustful as the last few times he had kissed you. His lips came to your ear as he whispered, “We can have dessert later, first we must eat dinner.” 

You were in some sort of trance, as he leads you to the dining room. His hand sweetly holding yours as you waited for dinner to arrive. Something was different but you were not going to voice your question. When dinner arrived it also came with wine and a set of candles that the droid set up. All in all, it was a quiet romantic meal, there was a dish that the droid had brought but neither of you had touched. When you were finished Kylo grabbed the dish and your hand and lead you back into the bedroom. 

You both sat on the end of the bed. Kylo uncovered the dish to reveal a beautiful purple fruit cut into slices. “Our dessert Kitten, your first piece is free,” he said as he took a slice between his fingers and held it up to your lips. You took the fruit into your mouth, but instead of removing his fingers right away, he let them drift over your lips. The fruit was amazingly sweet and your mouth was watering for more. 

You were in a trance once more, “may I have another?”

He chuckled and took another in his fingers, “the first piece was free, now you need to pay.” He held the fruit just out of reach. 

“How do I pay,” you ask. Your mouth was watering so much. 

“Like this,” said Kylo as he leaned in for a kiss. You were eager to comply and leaned in to kiss. The first kiss was a quick peck and then you were rewarded with the fruit. 

You kept repeating this game, with the length of kiss getting longer and longer until the last piece was given and you were then just snogging. Holding a kiss you crawled up into his lap and your hands wound into his hair. His hands rested on the back of your head and on your lower back. You both stayed like that for a very long time, just kissing before you had to break for air. Your brain was in a fog and all you could say was, “wow.”

Kylo chuckled and ask, “so you liked that Kitten?” His hands moving to rest on your hips, pressing into your pelvis a bit, trying to flex the bone underneath. 

Still trying to catch your breath, “yes, what was that fruit called?”

There was a smirk on his face, “Jogan fruit, it is considered a delicacy in many parts of the galaxy.”

There was a frown on your face and the fog was starting to lift, “you didn’t eat any.” 

There was that beautiful chuckle once more, “No, but that wasn’t my dessert, you were my dessert.” 

  
Your insides felt warm at his words, you rested your head on his chest, letting his heartbeat ground you in the moment. Your eyes closed and you took a moment to smell him. He smelled of his shampoo, a rich musky scent, that reminded you of a dark forest on a crisp autumn night. A hint of pine with the crispness of leaves and some smell you couldn’t put your finger on other than associating it as a part of him. While you were taking this moment he wrapped his arms around you pulling you close.

Eventually, you spoke, “what brought all this on?” Your head was still resting on his chest, your breaths in sync with each other.

His hand playing with the ends of your hair, “I took some advice from Phasma.” A hand came to cradle your face. His thumb smoothing over your lips. 

You moved your head to look at him, “what advice?” You were genuinely curious as to what advice she gave him. 

“I had asked her how you were when you left, both times, and she said that you seemed lonely. You were surrounded by people and you were lonely. This is something I saw in your mind earlier today. She gave me the advice that I should make you like me, something ‘romantic’ as she said. I asked her what that would be and she said sweets and a candlelit dinner,” 

“So what you are saying is that this was your attempt to seduce me,” you joked. You took your finger and swiped the tip of his nose. 

He stole a kiss, “You could say that.” He then proceeded to kiss down your neck once more. “Did it work?”

You hummed in pleasure, “it did, but I am afraid that the day has worn me out.” You got up from his lap and moved to get ready for bed. He had a dejected look on his face as you got up, but you needed to get ready for bed. You had just spent the last two hours kissing and cuddling. 

You changed with the bathroom door closed but opened it when you washed your face and brushed your teeth. Kylo came up behind you and kissed the crook of your neck while you finished getting ready for bed. You kissed him goodnight and crawled into bed, with him behind you once again.

Tomorrow you would be leaving your planet, leaving your home for what others might find as an exciting adventure, but deep down you were terrified. Space was the final frontier, but you were no pioneer woman, you were just a lonely girl from a planet that would soon forget itself. A planet that if you were not in your position, would soon forget you. It was all rather terrifying but you felt a calmness wash over you. 

You drifted off into pleasant dreams again. This time you were not stuck with the dragon, but you got to go with the prince. That bright castle becoming more and more vivid in your dream. You also dreamed of a long beautiful dress and a kingdom to call home. Your kingdom was a small but happy one, very Disney-esque. Somewhere someone was spinning your dreams into something you had longed for. Something you could not have, were they trying to help or were they making things worse? You did not know because you could not see them. 

In the middle of the night, you were woken by the sound of Kylo’s voice. He was not in bed with you, you could hear his low voice drift in from the living room. He was speaking to someone but you could hear no reply, all you heard was, “let the past die, kill it if you have to.” He then stopped speaking and you could feel a calmness wash over you once more, and you drifted off into dreamland once more. If you were coherent you should have questioned it, but you were not and you were back in the prince’s arms once more. 


	46. Packing Up Again

The pressure behind your ear was there again, as was pressure on your lower stomach. You woke up to Kylo kissing and marking that spot again, both of his hands rested on your lower stomach, threatening to drift even lower. “Good morning, Kitten we have a lot to do today,” as he said this, his hands added more pressure. “First we must go to training.” And his lips moved to kiss your ear. He pulled you up along with him, to get ready for the day. 

You dressed in a simple boat neck top with cropped trousers and flats. Seeing as it was something simple and similar to your minimalist old wardrobe. The top showed off most of the dark lovebites Kylo has left you, you thought no one this morning would be too shocked to see them, and you were too lazy to find something else to wear. 

This outfit choice seemed to please Kylo, while you finished getting ready in front of the bathroom vanity he took the opportunity to darken some of the fading spots all while his hands groped and finally rested once more on your lower stomach. His lips came to your ear, “You look beautiful Kitten, but I am afraid it is time for us to head to my training.” You quickly finished up the last few touches you needed to do before his arm wrapped around your waist and led you out of your chambers. You gave your usual greeting to the lieutenant on the way out. 

Somehow you felt better than you had the day before, last night’s dinner and sweet dreams had put you in an overall better mood. On the walk over, Kylo’s lips kept finding ways to kiss your ear and hair. Apparently he was in a better mood too. You entered the room and Kylo stopped to put you in your usual place next to Phasma and Hux, but before he let you go he placed a kiss on your lips. This being the first time both showed such affection in front of anyone. The room seemed to stop around you, everyone stared. He then turned and proceeded to work with the knights. 

The room then filled with chatter, people whispering and conversing with those around them. You had no doubt they were all speaking about you. 

“I see my advice worked then,” said Phasma, the first to break the silence in your group. 

“It did, and I must thank you,” you responded with a small smile. You could still feel the warmth of his lips on your own. And for a few moments, you could feel the buzz of the Force around you. 

“Are you prepared to leave m’lady,” asked Hux. 

His words shook you out of your happy state. You were leaving, and not returning for who knows how long. You would be confined to the metal walls of a spaceship, surrounded by strangers. 

“Yes, for the most part. I still need to pack,” you lied, well you partially lied. You were not ready to fully leave your home, but in many ways, you knew that your home had already said goodbye to you. Your people forgetting themselves and soon, you would too. Leaving parts of yourself all over the galaxy. You would transform fully into a woman whom you did not know. This scared you, this unknown change that you were undertaking. When would it stop? Who would you become? 

“Of course m’lady, I have received instructions that the  _ Steadfast  _ will approach Mars during your usual lunchtime, we will disembark and you will take your lessons with your new ladies-in-waiting as they help you unpack. You should find your chambers onboard the  _ Supremacy  _ to be much better than those of the  _ Steadfast _ ,” said Hux. 

The lieutenant appeared with your usual cup of Stimcaf made just right. After taking a sip you asked, “how much better are they?”

“Well, they are much larger, there is a personal bar in your chambers and large sitting room. A large kitchen and dining room. The  _ Supremacy _ is the largest of our ships so these chambers are your castle m’lady. I believe the Supreme Leader also has some surprises for you,” said Hux. 

“Surprises, I suppose you can’t give me any hints,” you ask. 

  
“No m’lady I think it wise if I did not,” replied Hux. As he said this you could see Kylo focus on you for a moment before returning back to fight. 

“Will you two be joining us on the  _ Supremacy,”  _ you asked looking between them. 

“We will m’lady, we are always at the Supreme leader beck and call, so it is easier to be near him than halfway across the galaxy unless he is the one who sent us there,” replied Phasma. As she was saying this you saw General Pryde saunter over to your group.

“M’lady I am afraid this will be the last time we shall see each other for a while,” said Pryde. His voice laced with something that you could not put your finger on, but you could see his eyes drift over the marks that Kylo had left and it made your stomach roll with disgust. 

“Watch your self Pryde,” you heard Hux cut in quickly. He was watching the general look at you and you could see it on his face that he was not pleased with the situation.

“But sir I was only coming over here to bid farewell to Lady Ren, and to offer her and the Supreme Leader a congratulation.” His eyes sweeping over you once more before meeting Hux with a deceitful smirk. 

Hux asked the question for you with raised brows, “what congratulation would that be? Is it one that you have been reprimanded for before?”

You could see Pryde swallow back fear, before he bowed and walked away without another word. “That’s what I thought,” said Hux. “If I could have had that man executed ages ago I would have, but he always seems to just barely keep himself out of trouble. If he was as minutely honorable as his former colleagues he would have been dead by now.”

You were glad to know that Hux disliked him, it made you feel safer. “Why does the Supreme Leader keep him around?”

“Because some of the old empire sympathizers want someone of his status still around. If we were to get rid of him, it may make our relationships with them more difficult,” said Hux. “If we can get you to be a good enough diplomat there shall be no more need for him.”

This perked you up a bit, now you had a reason to care about your lessons, a bit of true motivation. If it meant that man would be gone you would gladly take the most boring lecture classes available. You could see that Hux noticed this too and gave you a small nod and smile. 

The training was wrapping up and you could see that it was your time to go. Kylo came to your side and stole a kiss from your lips before wrapping his arm around your waist and guiding you back to your chambers. You ate breakfast together hand in hand before he went off to shower and go about some of his duties. 

After Kylo kissed you goodbye Ap’lek and Vicrul entered the room to keep a watch on you from the inside. They removed their helmets. “Good morning, sweetheart,” said Ap’lek with his usual drawl. 

“The boss wants us to keep a close eye on you,” said Vicrul with a smirk. They both then put their helmets back on, just before the seamstress, that was to assist you packing, arrived. 

The seamstress, yourself and the lieutenant went into the bedroom and started to pack. You should really thank Phasma for reminding you to get the largest luggage set they had available, as you were seeming to need every single bag, trunk and case. 

The seamstress made sure every garment was packed away properly to prevent damage and wrinkles to any of them, the lieutenant read off what a garment was, and filed away what bag it was put into. It took you about four hours to fully finish packing everything. The seamstress made sure to put in scented sachets and tissue paper to make sure everything stayed nice. You mostly helped put away the accessories and your toiletries. Once everything was packed away you called on some stormtroopers to carry your things down to the hangar where they would be loaded onto the command shuttle. 

You only had about 10 minutes before Kylo was to return for lunch, you dismissed the lieutenant so he could go pack his own belongings to join you on the  _ Supremacy.  _ You were left alone with the two knights once more. They took off their helmets once everyone had left. 

“Got enough stuff sweetheart,” asked Ap’lek you could see a playful smirk on his face. 

“Don’t tease the girl, she is taking the boss for all he’s worth. And I don’t blame her,” said Vicrul who lightly punched his fellow knight in the arm. 

“I was told I needed to look like an empress, so I have acquired items to do so. I was also not given any budget so I ran with it,” you explained. “And Phasma gave me the idea to do so.”

The smirk on Ap’leks face turned into a frown, “I once saw her as a formidable opponent, but she has a lesson to learn after what happened to you sweetheart.” 

“She is not responsible for what happened to me, both times she was following my direct orders and if you remember, she broke one of those orders to save my life.”

“As is her duty, but we would have never have let that happen,” responded Vicrul placing a hand over his heart. 

“You will forgive her. I have unless you wish for me to ask your boss to do so?” As you said this the door opened and Kylo stepped in.

“What are you asking me to do,” asked Kylo still with his helmet on, the tone feeling more menacing than he probably meant it to be. 

“Tell them to forgive Phasma, she was only following my direct orders, and she still saved me. They believe they would have done better, that it would have never happened but we can’t know that can we,” you pleaded to Kylo. You took his arm under your hand. 

He removed his helmet, his eyes staring into yours, “have you forgiven her?”

Your face was painted in confusion, “She didn’t do anything wrong.” Why was he asking this?

He squarely faced you now, his eyes hypnotic and peering into the deepness of your soul, “have you forgiven her?” 

You answered him, “yes.” Still confused as to why he was asking, surely he did not hold her accountable still? 

He turned his head to look at his two knights, “She is forgiven.” With that, both knights nodded, donned their helmets and left. 

Kylo’s eyes searched your face for a bit, what they were looking for you hadn’t the slightest clue. His hand then came up to caress your cheek and bring your lips to kiss in a gentle sweet kiss. Once you two had broken the kiss Kylo led you to the dining room where you awaited your lunch. There was something different about him that you couldn’t place your finger on, he was in a different mood than this morning you were sure of it.

“We will arrive outside Mars within the hour. We will then embark on the command shuttle to take us to the  _ Supremacy.  _ Both of your ladies-in-waiting will be there to help you unpack and to take your lesson,” said Kylo as your food arrived. 

It hit you just at that moment, the  _ Steadfast _ was moving. Here you had thought foolishly for a time that it was unmoving, yes you knew it to be a great ship, but for the entire time you had been on it it had been stationary just outside the Earth’s orbit. More of a base than a moving ship. You wondered when it was that you had finally left Earth, and how far along were you now to Mars. The planet of your planet’s dreams, the one so many Sci-Fi movies were made about, the one where NASA had plans to explore, the one your people hoped to one day colonize. 

You were leaving Earth behind for a hopefully better future, at least if Kylo continued to treat you well and not like a songbird. You looked forward to a better future, one that you could dream about. 

  
  
  
  



	47. Leaving and Arriving

You finished eating your lunch when Kylo’s commlink notified him of your arrival to Mars. He stood and took your arm under his, he started to escort you out of your chambers and you made him pause, “What is it kitten?”

You looked around the room, “Just saying goodbye to the home I’ve known for two weeks.” 

He drew your face up into a kiss, “Now kitten, we will be going to a better home, this one was always going to be temporary. And anyway my home is always with you.” He kissed you again before you let him take you out into the halls, for once he was not donning his helmet, but rather it was under his arm. 

You made your way to the hangar where the command shuttle awaited to take you the short distance to the  _ Supremacy.  _ You were greeted by the knights, Phasma, and Hux along with some other officers. You spotted Mitaka double-checking your luggage. Before you boarded the shuttle an entire battalion of stormtroopers and various pilots and officers saluted your entourage a farewell. 

You, Hux, Phasma, Mitaka, and Kylo boarded the command shuttle, but the knights boarded a ship of their own, you also watched as TIE Pilots prepared for your escort. You were excited and nervous all at the same time. You were made nervous by the TIE fighters, you hoped you would never have to see them in action. 

You noticed someone missing from your group, “Where is Olivia-Rose?”

“Her flight has already landed on the  _ Supremacy  _ m’lady she arrived there early this morning,” said Hux.    
  
“I was under the impression that she would be joining me on the flight there,” you said as you remembered the general had said that she would join you. 

“Yes, m’lady I do believe I said that. But your other lady-in-waiting wished to meet her and prepare with her before your arrival. She has had a good amount of training, but your other lady-in-waiting wanted to make sure she was up to speed on what she would need to know.” 

“There are things that she needs to know?”

“Yes, m’lady but I think it is best that you let them explain what their full duties are.”

You were now curious as to the secrecy of your other lady-in-waiting. You wondered how often you would be with them and what they were to do with you. This was a whole new experience you were not quite ready for. 

The flight was rather short and silent, Kylo’s gloved fingers ran over your knuckles as he held your hand. He still insisted that he was the one to buckle and unbuckle you, his hands always lingering a bit longer than they had to. You could sense that the lieutenant was equal parts nervous and excited. He kept looking at your luggage and back to his data pad. This caused a small smile on your face. Hopefully, your new ladies-in-waiting would help ease some of his stress, otherwise, you had a feeling that he would die young from stress and not in battle.

The shuttle docked in the hangar, Kylo got up to unbuckle you this time stealing a kiss from your lips. After he assisted you to stand he fastened his helmet, once more you were greeted with the dark black helmet marred with jagged red lines, and the brightness of chrome. 

The others departed the ship before you two, he took your arm in his and lead you down the exit ramp, where you were greeted by hundreds and hundreds of officers and ‘troopers. It took your breath away for a moment. They saluted and in unison said, “Long live the Supreme Leader.” 

You were shaken by the might of it, Kylo’s other hand coming to rest on your arm to help steady you before he said, “Long live the First Order,” to which the rest of your flight companions echoed shortly thereafter. You felt awkward being the only person to not say anything but Kylo urged you on forward. 

You then spotted the lieutenant taking place next to two women. One you recognized as Olivia-Rose, the other you didn’t. You assumed she was your other lady-in-waiting. They contrasted each other in many ways, Olivia-Rose was young-looking with honey-colored skin, straight black hair wrapped up in a bun and brown eyes but the other woman was middle-aged with curled red hair, green eyes, and rather pale skin. Both were dressed in black dress suits that reminded you of old Hollywood movie stars. Olivia-rose wore simple delicate jewelry but the other woman wore elegant statement jewelry and had a leopard print bow attached at her lower waist. The lieutenant in his uniform looked both out of place but yet right at home in his black uniform. 

Kylo moved to have you greet them. The middle-aged woman spoke first bowing lowly, “It is an honor to serve you Supreme Leader. I am humbled by your decision to make me your matches’ lady-in-waiting,” she then turned to speak to you. “It is an honor to serve you, Lady Ren, my name is Adlez.” She bowed once more to you and stepped back.

“Hello again, m’lady. It is an honor that you have chosen me for such a position,” said Olivia-Rose, her posh British accent coming out in full force. She bowed to you and stepped back. 

“We will meet you with your things in your chambers in 20 minutes, as that should give you both sufficient time to see them,” said Adlez. All three of them then left to take care of your luggage, or rather you heard Aldez order stormtroopers around while Kylo whisked you off down the halls of your new home. 

It took you a while to reach your new chambers, the door seemed larger than the one on board the  _ Steadfast.  _ Entering the room you were greeted with large ceilings of a large room, you were surrounded by creamy walls and lots of wood accents. If you had to place your finger on a style design it reminded you of atomic age mid-century modern decor. The Jetsons meets Mad Men. The general was right in saying there was a large sitting room with a bar. The part where you entered the room went up two stories, but near the sitting area and bar, there was a tall loft that overlooked the entrance. 

But you could see nature outside the large windows, you pulled Kyo along to see the large yard outside the large wall of windows, You opened a glass double door and took a step ‘outside.’ “What is this place,” you ask.

Kylo gave a small chuckle, “You have a fondness for being planetside, one that I do not share. So I had this large garden put it, so you could still feel like you are home.” 

You paused and felt the simulated sun on your face, you watched as Kylo went to grab a remote from the patio table in between a set of lounge chairs. You could see a pool and plenty of greenery, there even was a garden bed with your favorite flowers growing out of it. The yard was sparsely surrounded by large trees. You wondered how he got all of this in here. He then hit a button on the remote, and the forest beyond your trees that you were seeing were replaced by an image of a waterfall, then a desert, then some mountains, then a beach, and finally by the stars that were surrounding you. You approached the window, to your left you could see Mars in all of its red glory. It was all wonderful.

Kylo took your hand and lead you back ‘inside.’ You walked passed the large bar into a hallway where you were greeted with large warm wood panels, ones that made you feel fond of Earth rather than horrid wood paneling from gross basements. To your left was a large vanity/dressing room, with a long wall of built-in armoires in the same wood the walls in the hall. The rest of the room was painted in your favorite color, there was a large vanity on one side, for you to get ready and in the middle of the room was a chaise lounge and ottoman, to the left was a large full-length mirror. It felt as if you were in a dream. 

The room opposite in the hallway was the kitchen, that seemed to have a wall on either side of it, but the glass windows facing the ‘outside’ were the focal point of the room. It had a door that leads to a beautiful dining room that had a table as large as the one in the conference room. He then guided you to your main room, the bedroom. It was large and featured a bed that reminded you of ones in palaces as it was so big, the wood paneling continued in this room, your chambers did not have the harsh florescent lighting of the rest of the ship, it reminded you of the warm glow of old incandescent bulbs. Along one of the walls was another set of built-in armoires, which you assumed held Kylo’s things.

To your left was a staircase that took you up into the loft, which was another large sitting space, with a large fireplace on one wall. The wall that divided your bedroom from the rest of the mostly open concept living area. All in all, there were only 5 enclosed rooms in the large space, including the bathroom, which was next on your list to see. The bathroom faced the windowed wall, but you had privacy through shrubs and trees. It was large and beautiful, with a large tub and a large separate shower, it was almost as large as your apartment was. 

Kylo kissed you and then asked, “Is this a good enough home?” His hands carding themselves through your hair. Holding you sweetly.

“This is perfect,” you responded. Chasing for another kiss. You both stayed like that for a few more moments before a chime rang through the chambers. Kylo leads you to the door where you were greeted by the lieutenant, Adlez, Olivia-Rose and several stormtroopers carrying your things. You both stepped aside for them to enter. Adlez leading the march to your dressing room. You both watched the ‘troopers scramble to get out once they had dropped off their load. 

Cardo and Ushar entered shortly after. “This is where I have to leave you,” said Kylo kissing you. His lips came to whisper in your ear, “be good Kitten,” and he left. 

You nodded to the knights and went to go join the others in your dressing room where Adlez was taking charge. Constantly asking the lieutenant where something was packed away and where it was to go based on her chart.

“Is there anything I can help with,” you ask.

Adlez looked at you with one of your new dresses in her hands, “No m’lady, we have it all handled here. But if you would like you can set up the vanity according to your preferences.” She then proceeded to go about putting things away and Olivia-Rose was right behind her. 

You took the cases that you needed for your hair and makeup and started setting up the vanity. You changed the hue of the lights to your preference and the configuration of the drawers. It didn’t take you very long so you took the rest of your toiletries and set them up in the bathroom. When you returned you noticed that they seemed to be moving much faster, putting things away more efficiently than you had packing them. 

You decided to ask the question that had been on your mind for a bit, “what is it that you two are to do for me?”

Adlez paused for a moment before continuing her work and answering your question. “We are your ladies-in-waiting. We tend to you. We are hairdressers, dressers, packers, and seamstresses. We help with correspondences and the supervision of other servants. We keep you company in any capacity, through whatever hobbies you desire. We also are informants on other people of court or diplomacy, giving you messages and relaying information to the topic or person at hand.” 

“You do all that,” you were shocked at the distinct amount of what their duties entail. 

“Yes, and more, Olivia-Rose is still in training under my care, but soon she will be a top-notch lady-in-waiting. I also am a sex coach and a midwife, but do not worry the Dark Lord has informed me of your decision to wait.”

It hit you as to why he asked her to be your lady-in-waiting. “Dark Lord?”

“The Supreme Leader m’lady. Another formal title for his dignity. Would you like me to refrain from using that title?” 

“No, no. It’s fine, you are just the first person I have heard use it.” Although referring to him as dark in any other context other than his dressing in black made you rather uncomfortable. 

“Well, it is a common use of his title on my home planet, Corellia. We are very thankful and forever indebted to the First Order from saving us from the horridness of the New Republic,” said Adlez. You could tell she was proud but stern, with an air of motherly instinct thrown in there. Olivia-Rose seemed much more shy and timid than her counterpart, but she also seemed in awe of the woman who’s wing she was under. 

“M’lady, the allegiant general will be here at any moment for your lesson, we shall finish down here and then join you upstairs,” said the lieutenant who also seemed a bit intimidated by the strong personality of Adlez. You took your leave and went to the sitting area upstairs to wait for your next lesson. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	48. Learning Boundaries

There was a chime that ran through your chambers, Ushar answered the door for the general. You looked down and out over the edge of the loft to him. “Are the chambers up to your standards m’lady,” called Hux up to you. 

“I think they have most certainly surpassed any standards that I may have had,” you laughed as you watched the general move to go up the other staircase that you failed to notice the first time around. 

“That is good to hear. The Supreme Leader had his doubts, but I assured him that this would feel nicer and more ‘homey’ than anything of our usual standards,” he said taking a seat next to you pulling out a remote to lower a screen above the fireplace. 

“I do appreciate the garden very much, and all the wood, the  _ Steadfast  _ seemed so cold with all of the metal that surrounded us. This feels like a mansion straight out of a mid-century magazine.” And it truthfully was, grand but homey, open but cozy, bright and warm. You really appreciated the simulated sunlight that came in through the windows. 

“Good, our lesson today will be very topical, your ladies in waiting will appreciate it once you are done.” He then pulled up your lesson. 

[ **Ch. 12 Part 1: The Well-Appointed House (para. 1-46)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_12-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 12 Part 2: The Well-Appointed House (para. 47-106)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_12-2_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 12 Part 3: The Well-Appointed House (para. 107-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_12-3_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 13: Teas and Other Afternoon Parties** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_13_post.mp3)

Chapter twelve was about how to run an efficient house with servants, about five minutes after the first recording stated the others had joined you. 

“So you both take on the duties of a lady's maid,” you asked. 

“Yes, m’lady we do, really we are to do anything you ask of us,” said Adlez. “We are to help prepare you to be a proper lady of high society and to assure your place.”

“I believe it is time that I take my leave, m’lady. The Supreme Leader will join you for dinner, but for now, I leave you in the capable hands of your ladies-in-waiting,” said Hux as he bowed to leave.

“Now m’lady we are to get you ready for dinner,” announced Adlez. Instead of questioning what this meant you followed them down to your dressing room. 

  
Adlez ordered the lieutenant out of the room, she then opened your armoire and pulled out a dress. “M’lady we must dress you for dinner.” 

You were now confused. “Why must I change for dinner? Is someone joining us?”

“The Supreme Leader will be joining you. Isn’t that enough, and besides you should get used to changing for dinner. In many parts of the galaxy, it is the proper thing for ladies of your status to do,” responded Adlez.

“I don’t think the Supreme Leader really cares what I wear when we are alone.” But you allowed them to dress you, which itself was an odd feeling. You hadn’t been assisted in such a way since you were a child, but Adlez was insistent. 

“I believe you may be right m’lady, but if the Supreme Leader were to have it his way you would be completely naked while you ate. He is a man after all,” this made you blush all over. “But he respects your wishes, so you will wear a dress.” 

When they were done assisting you getting dressed they led you to the vanity, where Adlez took the position behind you ready to do something with your hair. Olivia-Rose was keenly watching. Adlez moved to do a simple hairstyle, something refined and more elegant than your normal look. Her hands moved swiftly and gently as if she had done it a million times before. 

“Even though the Dark Lord is no ordinary man, he is still just that--a man. Men like to look at pretty things, they like to have pretty things on their arms, and most importantly they like pretty things in their bed. Even though he is the Supreme Leader, I have sworn myself to your will. I can help you play your cards right, so you turn his head in more than one way. He is the head of the First Order, but you will be the neck,” said Adlez completing your hairstyle. 

You took her words into consideration, she in a way echoed what Kylo has said his dream for you was. That you would be the one directing him to strike, but he would ultimately be the end-all decision-maker. You would direct him, and he would act. “Thank you Adlez.”

Olivia-Rose helped you pick out small pieces of jewelry to wear, something to compliment what you were wearing. Both of them help you pick out some light makeup to wear. You believed Adlez was right, it would not hurt to be a pretty thing that kept Kylo’s head turned to you. After all, he was the one who wanted you to look like an empress and to have ladies-in-waiting. If you played your cards right he would still think he had full control. 

Once you were finished with getting ready you stood and both of them did once overs of your look and outfit before bringing you to the full-length mirror. You were beautiful, not that you weren’t normally, you were, but now the dress, the hair and makeup complimented you in such a way that you started to look more like an empress. 

“All you need to do is hit the button on the wall over there and we will come to get you ready for bed. I must remind you that this is what we are here for, to assist you. An empress employs a team to help her shine like a star, so let us do this,” said Adlez. 

They both exited the dressing room and you took a moment longer to look at your reflection before leaving. You were in the sitting room for just a few moments before Kylo entered and the knights exited. He took off his helmet and set it on a pedestal in the entrance room. “You look stunning,” he said taking your hand and kissing you sweetly. 

“Thank you, but it is all Adlez and Olivia-Rose’s handiwork, I mostly just sat there,” you replied kissing back. 

“Yes, but you are the beautiful painting that they only added finishing touches to, Kitten,” he kissed you once more before leading you into the dining room. The room honestly felt too grand for just you two, but he chose to sit along the window wall, which made things feel cozier. 

You ordered and a droid delivered your meal, like usual. Your meal was silent, neither of you ever really talked during dinner at least when you were alone with each other. His eyes occasionally drifted over you, while you did your best to do the same without getting caught. Once dinner was over he took your hand and led you ‘outside’ where he pulled you down onto his lap on one of the patio lounge chairs. 

His hands roamed you back as he pulled you down into a kiss, that he moaned into. You eagerly reciprocated, your hands winding themselves in his hair. “You look so beautiful,” he said as his hands then wandered to grope various parts of your body. His tongue found its way into your mouth to do its usual dominating dance, tasting everything. His hand then found its way to the hem of your dress and slowly guided itself up your legs. 

His long fingers danced along your inner thigh, slowly reaching your heat. You grabbed his wrist pulling his hand away. You broke your kiss, “No.” It was a simple command. 

He let out an angry huff, “Now Kitten, I would like to play.” His other hand now reaching up the skirt of your dress again. Your other hand grabbing it, now you had both of his strong arms trapped in yours. He let out another huff that turned into a growl, his eyes locking on yours with a predatory glower.

“I said no.” 

The cauldrons of his eyes swirled with anger, you could tell this was not what he wanted to hear. He ripped his arms from you, you braced yourself for their impact which did not come. Instead Kylo stood and you slid off his lap. He then marched himself back inside and made his way to the bathroom. You followed after him only to see the bathroom door close and hear the shower turn on. Ending any discussion of what had just happened. 

You sighed. Walking into your dressing room you called your ladies in waiting with the call button. In a matter of a minute or two they were there. Both of them stopped in their tracks seeing the sad and hurt look upon your face. 

Adlez quickly moved to the armoire to pull out something for you to sleep in. Olivia-Rose was the first to speak, “Is everything alright m’lady?” She was nervously standing behind you, you could see her fidgeting her hands in the reflection of the vanity mirror. 

You met her eyes in the reflection, “Everything will be alright. He just needs to learn boundaries.” You started to remove your makeup, while she got your hair ready for bed.

“Men. They don’t know boundaries unless they are taught. They are no better than children. He is very much used to having his way m’lady. You will have to just whip him into shape. If we play our cards right it won’t be that difficult,” said Adlez with your nightgown in her hands. It was one of the less modest ones you had gotten, nothing too revealing, but it was rather sheer and had a deeper neckline than you normally would have liked. 

You were about to tell her to grab something else when she practically thrusted it at you. “Now, if you would like my advice, stick with this. Push him away when he gets too handsy. Teach him your boundaries. Remind him that you are to be an empress, not some cheap whore, that he’s used to.” She and Olivia-Rose then helped you undress and get into the nightgown. “As I said before, m'lady men like pretty things in their bed, but they sometimes need reminding that they need to take care of pretty things otherwise they won’t be pretty anymore.”

You looked at your reflection in the full-length mirror. The nightgown was alluring yet modest. Not too sheer as to show everything off, but sheer enough to give hints as to what lies beneath. The lace straps and bodice were soft and the nylon skirt was silky smooth. You looked a bit like a greek goddess. 

You thanked them both and dismissed them, looking at your reflection for a bit longer, admiring the way you looked. You exited your dressing room and headed to the bedroom, you saw Kylo in just some lounge pants, his back was to you as he grabbed a shirt. He turned as you entered the room, looking at you, his face still twisted with anger until his eyes drifted over you. You could see his demeanor change as you stepped closer to the bed. He abandoned his shirt on the ground in favor of crawling over the bed to get to you. 

His hand wound itself into your hair as he drew you into a kiss. His hand then drifted over your breast, and then down your side attempting to lift your skirt. You stopped the kiss, “Hands stay above clothing.” His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “That includes skirts.” You then grabbed his hand and placed it back on your chest.

His eyes were laden with lust his face fell into the crook of your neck, “But Kitten I want to play.”

“You either respect my boundaries or you don’t get to touch me at all,” you countered. 

He groaned at your command, his hips desperately trying to find some friction against yours. His lips deepening a new mark on your collarbone, his hands squeezing your breast and ass. “Fine,” he groaned out of frustration. His hips grinding more into you, his lips returned to yours and you continue this for a long while. Eventually, he got off of you and stood, his clothed erection very visible under his lounge pants. “Now Kitten, I will have to take another shower.” He bent down to kiss you once more before heading back into the bathroom.

You felt hot and pleased by the reaction you gave him. Maybe Adlez was right. He just needed to be told what your boundaries were. You drifted off into sleep before he returned. 

This time your dream had you and your prince in a jungle. One that was filled with sounds and beautiful birds and flowers. But the entire time you were there you felt as if you were watched and you could swear you could hear a woman’s voice in the wind, calling for your prince. By his old name, any time you tried to ask the prince about it, the dream would change. The last words you remember the woman saying were, “Return him home.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	49. Playing Dress Up

You were woken from your sleep, by a kiss on the lips. You opened your eyes to see Kylo dressed in his usual uniform. “What time is it?”

You hear him chuckle, “It is time for you to get up Kitten. Your ladies-in-waiting will be here at any moment. I have things I need to attend to. So this is goodbye until dinner,” said Kylo who then left down the hall and out of your chambers. 

A few moments later the door opened again, Adlez and Olivia-Rose were followed by the lieutenant, Cardo, and Ushar. You went to meet them. 

You heard a distorted wolf whistle, “Looking good Pet,” said Cardo ogling you. You immediately crossed your arms in a failed attempt to cover yourself. You could see the lieutenant turning red and averting his gaze. Olivia-Rose rushed into your dressing room getting you a robe. 

Adlez let out a loud gasp and turned around to face him. “That is no way to speak to her.” You could hear the anger and authority in her voice. They were almost chest to chest as Cardo challenged her. 

Luckily Ushar threw his arm in front of Cardo pushing him back. “I can speak to her how I want,” replied Cardo. 

Once your robe was firmly secured around you, you approached the group. “No, she is the Supreme Leader’s match, you must treat her with respect,” said Adlez. 

Cardo puffed up his chest once more, pressing against Ushar’s hold on him, but you spoke before he could respond. “Especially when the Supreme Leader has already reprimanded you for such in my presence once before. Shall I call him down,” you ask with a tilted head and cocked eyebrow. You were not going to be playing my horse is bigger than your horse this morning. 

You heard Ushar release a distorted laugh, “Lady Ren has got a backbone Cardo, you better not test her. I like her too much.” 

A smirk found its way to your face. You watched as both of them backed away, to go stand near the door. Adlez gave one last humph before turning around and assisting you in your dressing room and told the lieutenant to wait in the dining room. 

Once the door shut behind you, Adlez quickly joined Olivia-Rose in getting you ready. “How did last night go m’lady,” asked Olivia-Rose. 

“Better, he learned some new boundaries. Like keeping his hands above my clothes.” 

Both of the women laughed at this, to which you smiled in response. Their hands expertly taking care of you, dressing you in a similar relaxed outfit as yesterday morning. This time your hair was done in a casual elegant style, very old Hollywood. You could tell that Adlez was an expert in this style. 

“Now that he has learned this, you can use it to your advantage m’lady. Teasing him and using any additional privileges like a bartering chip,” said Adlez. 

“I like that idea. Although I may occasionally extend my favors as I wish.” 

“Obviously, the Dark Lord is a handsome man. If I were you it would be very hard to keep my hands to myself,” said Adlez, finishing putting on a necklace for you, while Olivia-Rose applied your makeup. 

“I have really tried to refrain from touching him anywhere else but his head. I might lose my battle with him as it would be too much for my brain to handle, and we might cross my imaginary boundary,” you replied. “Also, why did he choose you for me, if he was going to know that you would be helping me mold him into my will?” 

Adlez let out a laugh, “He chose me because of my experience, my ex-husband was a diplomat on Corellia. Unfortunately, because the First Order took over his and my position were cut, and I no longer needed to be married to him. We are better off not married anyway. And because of this position, I now have access to a bunch of eligible bachelors onboard,” she gave you a wink. You saw Olivia-Rose blush at this too. 

“I wouldn’t know about the selection you have available, just promise me you two won’t get into too much trouble. I already have my hands full with the Supreme Leader.”

Both of them laughed at that. You all got up to go have breakfast, the lieutenant was waiting in the dining room for you as were Cardo and Ushar. 

“Would anyone like anything while I order? I know to get you a coffee lieutenant.” You looked around to everyone. 

“Coffee for both of us m’lady,” said Olivia-Rose referring to Adlez. Both Cardo and Ushar shook their heads. 

While waiting for your food to arrive Ushar asked, “So what princess lessons are on the agenda today?” He turned his helmeted gaze to your lieutenant. Who swallowed back a lump of fear before responding. 

“Lady Ren is free until her lessons after lunch. After they are finished she has dinner with the Supreme Leader,” replied Mitaka. 

“So the princess has a free morning, what shall she do with it,” teased Cardo. You saw Ushar hit him again.

Adlez looked at you and said, “If you don’t mind a suggestion m’lady, Olivia-Rose and I would love to spend the morning styling you in various ways for different occasions. A test really to see what you like and what you don’t.” 

You heard a distorted snicker come from Cardo, who turned to Ushar, “They are going to play dress up.” 

You grew your backbone once more, “If you are going to be rude Cardo then there is no need for you to be here. You can safely guard me from someplace else if it is too difficult for you.” 

You watched him stand and clench his fists before Ushar hissed his name and told him to get out. Ushar muttered apologies to you and the others before stepping out of the dining room himself. 

You finished your breakfast with some idle chatter with everyone. Not really commenting on this or that. Preferring to eat without much distraction. Once you were finished you saw Olivia-Rose start to take the dishes into the kitchen and you told her to stop, that the droid would take care of it. She was just as out of place as you once were, not knowing how things fully worked. 

You entered the dressing room and dismissed the lieutenant until your lesson. Both women seemed to be very happy changing your outfits and accessories and your hair and makeup. Taking you through this scenario and that one with outfit changes. Deciding what works together and what doesn’t. Olivia-Rose did well as she was there when you bought most everything. 

“Now we should discuss your routine. I think it would be best for you to take baths every other day, to maintain healthy skin. We should also get a full regime of face masks in the works to keep your skin looking as young as possible,” said Adlez. You trusted her opinions on this, as her skin looked flawless. “We should also get a regular routine of body hair removal and nail care. I will work something out with the lieutenant to always have it in your schedule one way or another. Not taking care of yourself is one of the quickest ways for a man to lose interest. And it is in our best interest to keep the Dark Lord interested in you.”

You did take care of yourself but not to the degree that Adlez was speaking. It sounded like a lot of upkeep and work. But you trusted her, after all, she was right, you needed to keep Kylo interested in you, even though he had shown no real example of not doing so something in your gut told you that something was coming. 

“I was wondering if we should take lunch ‘outside’? I would love to feel the sun on my face,” you asked them both. 

“Of course m’lady, just let me check to make sure the simulated sun doesn’t give off any UVA UVB rays. Otherwise, we will have to lather your skin in sunscreen. The sun is aging’s best friend and one of your worst enemies,” said Adlez. She then left the dressing room to go check. She came back and informed you that it was all clear. 

You three went to the patio and enjoyed the simulated sun during your lunch. This is where both the lieutenant and general found you when it was time to begin your lessons again. You all headed upstairs to the large sitting area once more. 

[ **Ch. 14 Part 1: Formal Dinners (para. 1-36)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_14-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 14 Part 2: Formal Dinners (para. 37-80)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_14-2_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 14 Part 3: Formal Dinners (para. 81-116)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_14-3_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 14 Part 4: Formal Dinners (para. 117-152)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_14-4_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 14 Part 5: Formal Dinners (para. 153-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_14-5_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 15: Dinner-Giving with Limited Equipment** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_15_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 16: Luncheons, Breakfasts and Suppers** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_16_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 17 Part 1: Balls and Dances (para. 1-53)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_17-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 17 Part 2: Balls and Dances (para. 54-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_17-2_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 18: The Debutante** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_18_post.mp3)

“We will be throwing a formal dinner in a few days with some of the leaders of some First Order planets. You and the Supreme Leader are expected to be in attendance. I will also be there. This is your official debut as Lady Ren, so it will be very important. The Supreme Leader has left it in our hands to get you ready,” said Hux. 

You were nervous. You were going to be at a formal dinner, with lots of people you didn’t know, who would be expecting you to be a lady when you weren’t one. This was something that you hoped Kylo would spare you from or something that he would have at least had the courtesy of telling you himself. 

You were immensely grateful for Adlez and Olivia-Rose now. They would help you prepare yourself so you didn’t look like an idiot. 

“Will I have lessons as to who these leaders are? And to what the rest of the galaxy is,” you ask fiddling with your hands. 

“Of course m’lady, it is not my intention to allow you to attend unprepared. It is also the Supreme Leader’s wish for you to be as prepared as I can get you. You will not be alone at the dinner he and I will be there along with other First Order High Command members,” consoled Hux. 

“Will Pryde be there?”

“Yes, m’lady, unfortunately, he will be, some of these leaders are the ones I was telling you about. Ones that were Empire sympathizers who like him. But this will be a good time to showcase yourself as someone they can trust. Do not worry, the Supreme Leader will be the whole time with you.” You could see the earnestness in his face. It calmed your nerves a bit. 

“When will this formal dinner take place?”

“In a week, seven cycles time. We will be on the other side of the galaxy then near Arkanis. And it will take place here on board the ship, so you will be perfectly safe.” His reassurance did help, as did the date of the dinner. Although you knew that the anticipation may kill you. You were nervous, to say the least. 

“Thank you for informing me general, is that all for today?”

“Yes, m’lady. I believe it is now time for you to prepare for dinner.” And with that, both he and the lieutenant left. 

You and the girls made your way downstairs to your dressing room. They got out another simple dress and started working on another simple but elegant hairstyle, one that you had worked on earlier that day. 

“Do not worry m’lady, we will have you prepared for that dinner, none of those old men will know what hit them,” said Olivia-Rose, voicing herself confidently for the first time. 

“Exactly, we will make you the belle of the ball as they say. No one will be able to resist your charm, and if we do everything right, so will the Dark Lord,” said Adlez. 

“I know, but I would have preferred him telling me this news versus the general. After all, I am his match, and this is my debut,” you said voicing your displeasure at the situation. 

“Well then m’lady you will just have to show the Dark Lord that,” said Adlez while she changed the initial lipstick she was going to hand you. She then picked out a more alluring perfume for you to wear along with a pair of heels. “This will help show him just that. Keep him at arm's-length and he will be eating out of the palm of your hands in no time.” 

You liked her thinking a lot. She was right; you needed to show him how it displeased you to have others tell you things that he could have easily told you himself. You were now playing his game, and he did not hold all the cards, but neither did you. But you did have a few aces up your sleeve and now was the time to play one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	50. Demanding Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big chapter 50. Hope you like it.

You were ready to walk out into the living area to wait for him. While you waited, you went behind the bar to see if there was anything to drink. You waved goodbye to the ladies and found a nice wine to drink while you waited. You poured yourself a glass and walked over to the couch to lounge, rather suggestively. 

You heard the door open and you watched him walk in, he took off his helmet and set it on the buffet in the front entrance area. All while not taking his eyes off of you. He sauntered over to you while his eyes roamed over your body, “Do you want to play Kitten and skip dinner?” As he reached you he bent down for a kiss. 

You turned away and moved to get up, setting your finished wine glass down on the coffee table. “No, I would like dinner, and for you to explain some things to me. And if I get my answers then we can play.” You made your way down the hall to the dining room before receiving an answer. 

He did follow you. You made your way to your seat and pulled up the menu. He followed and made his way to kiss your cheek which you also avoided, with the back of your hand meeting his lips. “Dinner and questions first, play later,” you commanded. 

He let out a frustrated huff but sat down. He made his order and you two sat staring at each other waiting for the food to arrive. You could tell he was getting more annoyed by the minute. You were keeping your face neutral, waiting for him to crack first. 

Which he did, “So are you going to ask these questions of yours? Or am I supposed to pry them from your mind.” His fingers thrummed on the table. He hadn’t taken his gloves off yet, something that was starting to annoy you. You prepared yourself for dinner like a lady, but he failed to simply take off his gloves. 

“I don’t know, would you rather have some food before you get angry and storm off or would you like to possibly ruin dinner now, before we have even eaten?” Your question was based on history. The last few times you had tried to get him to answer things he had blown up and walked out or made you do a 180 and forget about it until days later. 

He was annoyed by this question you could tell. His jaw clenched and the hand that was drumming on the table turned to a fist for a moment before laying its palm flat. “I wouldn’t want to spoil your dinner,” he said through gritted teeth.

Your dinner came in, along with another glass of wine. You were going to need a bit of liquid courage to be able to keep your backbone. As you both ate the tension in the room was high. You could tell by his rough eating of his dinner that he was just getting angrier and angrier. When you were finished you slowly finished off your glass of wine before standing and leaving the room.

You heard a crash, but it did not stop you from your mission. You walked up the stairs to the lounge space and sat down in front of the fireplace causing it to turn on. Before he descended the stairs after you, you ordered a stronger drink from your phone. You could hear him stomp after you, like a child being told what to do. You smirked at that thought. Oh yes, like a child.

He did not sit next to you, but he stood off to the side of the fireplace, glaring at you. With clenched fists and a clenched jaw he asked, “Your questions?”

You raised a finger at him, signaling for him to wait. At that moment the door to your chambers opened and a droid flew up the steps and delivered you your drink. You took the drink from its tray and held up the glass to inspect it before taking a drink. You then hold it in your hand, “Why did  _ you  _ not tell me about the formal dinner? You, not Hux, not Phasma, not your knights, not my ladies-in-waiting, but you.” Your head was level but you glared at him through your lashes, your lips slightly pursed. 

You watched him clench and unclench his fists for several moments. His clenched jaw allowed you to see him grind his teeth. If he could harm you with just the look of his dark eyes, you would have been painted across the walls by now, but you were serving him a look back. “It was not a matter of importance,” he sneered finally. His eyes were twitching and seething with anger and frustration. 

“Really, because it doesn’t appear that way. Is this not a formal dinner with high ranking planetary officials of the First Order? Is this not the first official event where I will be presented as Lady Ren? Your match. Or is that not something that is important to you anymore, me being your match?” You leaned forward, testing him. Daring him to do something. You took a sip from your drink and swirled it around in your glass waiting for his answer. 

You heard a crash come from somewhere downstairs, but you held your ground not moving, not being phased. “Yes, they are important to the First Order and the final agenda, but they are not important to me. You will be presented as Lady Ren because you are Lady Ren. You are my match, the other half to my soul. You are important to me.”

You scoffed at this, something that earned another crash only this time it was a chair that flew off the lounge space balcony and down to the floor below. You flinched for a second before regaining your composure. “If I was important to you then you would tell me such things, or at least you would have the decency to send me a message yourself. Or did you forget that I still have my phone?”

He tore his gaze away from you, his hands clenched tightly into fists, his arms tense and shaking with anger. “Is that what you want?” You were pretty sure his anger was burning a hole in the wall behind you. 

“Yes, that is what I want. For you to message me at the very least. I don’t think that is a lot to ask for, or you could tell me before you leave in the morning. Is that such a hard request?” You tilted your head towards him. Your eyes analyze his reaction. 

His fist clenched and unclenched several times before he answered, “No,” through gritted teeth once more. 

“Good.” You leaned back in your seat and took another sip of your drink. “Now, I would like you to tell me who you have been speaking to when you think I am asleep.”

This set something off, “I told you never to speak of her again,” he roared. You could see his chest vibrating with anger. Seeming to struggle to keep his emotions locked inside his chest, like a cage. 

You racked your brain to think of who he was talking about, but then something clicked and your body felt like ice had been poured through your veins. You stood and turned to walk to the edge of the balcony, “So the scavenger is a she.” Your back was to him. 

“She is nothing, she means nothing.” You could hear his anger, but could no longer see it.

Something inside you broke, “If she means nothing then why won’t you tell me about her? Or are you lying to me and yourself.” The ending came as more of a whisper. 

You could hear him step forward, “She is no one, she means nothing.” His voice was flat. You turned to look at him, but the look on his face told you everything you needed to know. His eyes were windows that betrayed the privacy of his mind, and heart. 

Your drink fell to the floor, your legs moving on their own. You ran down the steps, tears falling down your face. He was frozen in his spot. Your brain and heart were moving at two different paces, without thinking you went into your dressing room and locked the door. You fell to the ground, your heart shattered with the drink you left upstairs. You were alone, but without thinking you hit a button on a remote, to call for them. You did not want to be alone. 

There was pounding outside the door. Kylo, he was yelling too, but your brain didn’t process what was being said. You felt numb.

After a few minutes, you heard another voice behind the door and the pounding and yelling ceased. You heard a simple knock and Adlez’s voice, “M’lady it is us, please let us in.” 

You hit a button on the remote and the door opened revealing Adlez and Olivia-Rose, Kylo was looming behind them. Adlez’s face upon seeing you was a look of horror and sympathy. She and Olivia-Rose entered and Kylo tried to follow, but Adlez swiftly turned and pointed a finger into his chest. “This is no place for a man. And that very much includes you. Especially when you caused the problem now out.”

Kylo was a bit in shock at what Adlez said, he stumbled back out of the doorway. His face turned to anger and you could see his chest puff up before Adlez hit a button on the panel and shut the door in his face. And she hit another one, presumably locking it. You heard yelling and banging once more. 

She quickly rushed to your side, “Now now m’lady, you are safe. Olivia-Rose and I will fix everything just you see.” They both hauled you up, helping you to the vanity.

You glanced at your reflection, your face was a mess, your eyeliner and mascara leaving streaks down your face with puffy red eyes. Your lipstick was smeared and mostly gone from your lips. Your hair was a mess, but you don’t remember ever touching it in the first place. You looked like a girl who was dumped on her prom night.

Both of them moved quickly around you. Taking down your hair, removing your makeup, putting on some weird face mask. You were hauled up once more and changed into a nightgown, one that was similar to last night. Your voice was hoarse, “But I don’t want to wear this.” More tears streamed down your face, making the face mask start to run.

“I said we would fix this, and we will. First, you must wear that and you must stop crying. Now tell us everything,” said Adlez sternly, both of them walked you to the chaise lounge.

You recalled all of the details from dinner and your questions. When you got to the part about the scavenger you could hear Adlez scoff. 

“A scavenger for a lady, I think not. Especially when that lady is his match. Why are men, such idiots?” She was angry, you don’t know if it was for you or her own anger, but it made you feel minutely better. Adlez then got up and walked over to the vanity picking up a washcloth and bringing it over to you, she started to remove the face mask. 

“Now m’lady if he is still out there, which I have a feeling he is, you will stand your ground. You will demand to know who this scavenger is. If he does not answer, then I want you to come back in here and call on us. We will stay with you all night. If he does not answer you will not sleep next to him. In fact, you will not sleep in his bed until he does.” She walked back over to the vanity to grab various creams and oils. 

She applied them to your face and something cool to your eyes. “Remember what I said, men like pretty things in their bed, but they must know to take care of them if they want them to stay pretty. Now I have a correction to that. They must take care of them if they want pretty things to stay. I am more than prepared to spend many nights and days with you in here until he answers you.” A part of you wished you had an ounce of her conviction and confidence. He was a fool for assigning her to you. She finished applying whatever it was to your face and pulled you to stand. 

She told Olivia-Rose to grab the perfume from last night, which she then sprayed you with. On either side, they joined you in front of the full-length mirror. Somehow they managed to put you back together again. “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,” you mused quietly. 

“Yes, but they were the king’s men, you are an empress,” said Adlez confidently. This caused a spark within you. “Now, you will go out there and show him exactly that. You are an empress and she is some dirty scavenger. You will not ask to be told what she is, you will demand it. You are an empress, now act like it.” This caused the spark to be a fire, a roaring fire.

“Head up, shoulders back,” said Adlez as she followed you to the door. You were an empress. Not a queen. Not a princess. Not just a woman. Not just a girl. And most certainly not a scavenger. You were an empress, and now you were going to claim your empire. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	51. Receiving Answers

You step out of your dressing room. You look to the right, you see the living area is a mess, furniture tipped over, glasses and bottles from the bar shattered everywhere, it looked like the aftermath of a natural disaster. You ushered both of your ladies-in-waiting out of your chambers. Olivia-Rose’s eyes were wide looking at the state of things, Adlez was unfazed. 

You took a deep breath and turned back down the hall, to the bedroom. You paused in the open doorway watching Kylo pace back and forth. When he noticed you the pacing stopped.

You were the first to speak, “You will answer me this. Who is she?” Your voice was even but your tone was flat. You tried to make your face a stone mask, unmoving and unwavering. Your eyes burning into him.

His fists clenched and he resumed pacing. “I told you she is nothing,” his jaw clenched. 

“Clearly that isn’t the truth, I will ask again. Who is she? Clearly she means something to you if it causes this reaction. And before you answer I want you to think about something. If you don’t answer I will not sleep next to you and you will not be able to touch me.” You were holding your ground, trying to channel some higher being to assist you in your efforts in this standoff against a demi-god. 

“She is no one. She means nothing to me.” His voice was breaking, you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or something else. His eyes said he was guilty. 

“If you continue to lie to me, I will leave. I will leave and I won’t come back.” Tears fell down your face but you held your ground. “When we first met you asked me to stay. You told me you were a broken man, that you were a monster. I am willing to fix you, but I can only do that if you let me. If you lie to me about her again. I will leave. I will not stay. I can not stay with a man, a monster, who continues to treat me like a songbird in a  _ cage.”  _ Your voice was breaking. “I will not stay. I can not stay with a man who does not care for me. I cannot love a man who… who continues to treat me like this.  _ I will not stay.” _

You said it, you said the four-letter word. The one that could cause your heart to shatter into a million pieces to never be put back together. The one word that could break the strongest of men, reducing them down to nothing. You loved him, but you feared that he did not love you back. That the same place that you had in your heart for him, was taken--taken by her. 

You were shaking but you did not falter, tears freely streaming down your face as you waited for an answer, any answer. The suspense was killing you, and was causing fractures to spread across your delicate heart. 

You watched him, he was frozen in place, his eyes were large cauldrons of dark water, with currents spinning so fast you had no idea what was in them. “She is a scavenger. From Jakku. She is strong in the Force. She is the only person to ever fully beat me in battle.”

“What is her name?” Part of you did not want to know, but all of you had to know. Your blood was churning from ice cold to boiling and back again, for each second you had to wait. 

“Rey,” he said finally as if it was the first time her name had ever graced his lips. Those fractures were becoming full-on cracks now. Your heart swayed in the waves of your emotions, losing the battle of the storm. His voice saying her name was the wind that broke the sail, soon your ship would sink. 

It took every bit of sanity you had left to ask, “Rey who?”

This time he answered quicker, “Rey, just Rey. Just a scavenger from Jakku. A no one.”

You bit your lip, your eyes clenched shut, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. Your voice small as you asked, “And what does she mean to you?” The ship was frozen in time, a large wave threatening to come crashing down. You needed the answer like you needed oxygen to breathe like you needed water to drink like you needed love to hope.

You felt a hand on your cheek, prompting your eyes to meet his, “She means nothing to me compared to you. She is nothing.”

Your face crumpled with disbelief and confusion. “Don’t lie to me. She means something to you.” You paused for a few seconds. “What does she mean to you?”

His other hand came to your face, he was now holding you. In another life, this would be comforting, but it was only slowing down the inevitable crippling wave that was about to sink your ship with his next answer. “She is but a formidable opponent for me in battle. A weakness that I do not know how to fix. She. Is. NOTHING. Compared. To.  _ YOU.” _

You pulled away from him, bracing yourself for the crash that will end your maiden voyage. “Why is it that you speak to her? Why do you hide her from me?” You dared your eyes to look at him, waiting for the answer. 

“The Force connects us, I do not know why. She uses it to taunt me, to lash at me. A weapon in my own mind. I hide her from you as I hide you from her. It is the only way to protect you. She uses my mind like a weapon against me, imagine what she could do to you. I would never forgive myself if I were to let that happen. You are mine. I will not let her take that from me. She and her  _ friends _ have taken so much from me already. I won’t let them, have you. I will die before that happens,” you could see his confession was true. His eyes told you so as did the trembling of his lip. 

Your body swayed under the weight of his answer, you came crashing down into his chest. He was solid. Your broken and battered ship came into the safety of his port. Your hands bracing yourself on his broad strong chest. “You will not hide her from me anymore. I do not want secrets between us. I promised to fix you, to mend you, but I can only do that if you are truthful to me. I will only stay if you are truthful to me.” Your hand traced along his sternum. 

“I will try, but you must know that I must protect you. You are mine.” He brought your hand up to his lips. “Mine.” And he kissed your knuckles. 

Your heart froze, the cracks seemed to start ever so slowly filling in. Your eyes meet his. He leaned you back and kissed you. Both of you crave each other like oxygen. The kiss deepened as he bent down to wrap your legs around his waist to carry you to bed. Your back hit the mattress and your hips crashed and rolled together. Both trying to find some semblance of friction, him more so than you. 

He sucked hard on your bottom lip causing you to moan into the kiss allowing his tongue to slip in and do its usual dominating dance. His hips trying to find more and more fiction. The passion that always burned after your fights, was ablaze.

Between pants, you mustered, “We can’t.”

His voice was just as breathy, “I know.” He groaned and started to almost violently buck into you, finding as much friction as possible. “You said above clothing, so that’s what I am doing.” His pelvis ground down hard into yours. 

You let out a breathy laugh between kisses, “Clever bastard.”

This earned a smile from him, one that was being hidden by snogging, but one that was there nonetheless. His lips found their way down your neck and onto your clavicle finding a new spot to mark. His teeth scraping, but failing to break skin. Once he was satisfied by his new declaration of ownership he resumed feasting on your lips. You stayed that way for a good hour or more, his hands occasionally groping and caressing different parts of your body. He gave one good hard roll of the hips before breaking your kiss. “Now Kitten I think that is enough for tonight,” he groaned climbing off of you.

You watched him stumble into the bathroom. You climbed back up to your spot on the bed and laid on your side. It took you a minute or two to realize that he did not close the bathroom door behind him.

You heard the shower running and after a few moments, you heard his loud moans and grunts. Your name was peppered in with his animalistic sounds. It was rather erotic. You clenched your thighs together and rubbed them together causing some friction. You threw your head into your pillow and bit down, trying to resist the urge to do something about your growing desire. You did not want to give him the satisfaction of your reaction to him. After a few minutes, you heard your name as almost a shout and then nothing. The water continued for another few minutes before you heard it shut off. 

You were not expecting him to exit the bathroom in only a towel slung low on his hips, threatening to fall even lower. He started to walk towards the bed. You shot up, “Don’t you even think about it.” 

A smirk plastered across his face. He turned around and walked towards his closets. He opened one and looked over his shoulder at you, meeting your eyes before he dropped his towel. 

Your face was hot. He was more of a man than any you had seen or been with before. You could tell by the way he bent over to get out a pair of lounge pants that he was trying to put on a show. He grabbed them and stood straight once more, he then looked over his shoulder with a smirk on his face and turned around. Giving you an eyeful of what he had to offer, before you averted your gaze.

He bent down to pull up the pants, but out of the corner of your eye, you could see that he fully had to tuck himself in, instead of the usual it went on over the first time. You returned your gaze to him, your face and body flushed. You watched as he tied the drawstrings at his waist and then in a show like fashion he adjusted himself. Your face was on fire. Your mind also screamed at you that he liked going commando. Just him and his pants, the only thing separating  _ him _ from the rest of the world. 

He fully swaggered back to the bed, shirtless. “Did you like what you just saw Kitten?” His tone and face told you everything you needed to know. He was putting on a show. This whole thing was a show. The shower. The towel. The lack of a towel. The  _ him.  _ Was all just a show, a private one for you. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” You turned to face the wall, back to him. 

He crawled up next to you, his hips to your ass as he swung his arm over your middle. “Well, I guess next time I will have to just do what I was going to do, and crawl into bed naked. After all, do hands really have to stay above clothing if there is none?”

You didn’t even have to look at him to know he was smirking. And that smirk made its way to the mark behind your ear, the one that you knew was going to be forever branded into your skin, his own personal badge of ownership over you.

The waiting game was going to be hard, especially when the man lying next to you looked like something the gods carved out of the purest marble. A gift to mankind. A work of art. A masterpiece that the old masters could only dream about but never achieve. A god amongst men. Your own personal image of perfection. Waiting was going to be hard, but apparently not as hard as him. But boy did you have something to tell the ladies in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	52. Gossip and Glass

You woke up to the pressure behind your ear and felt a soft pillow of skin move across your cheek and to your lips. “I need to go Kitten, but I promise to let  _ you  _ know if I need you to do anything.” Another kiss to your lips before he disappeared. You were alone for a few minutes before you heard the ring of the doorbell. You groaned but got up to answer it. 

Passing by all the broken glass and furniture, you wondered who you would have to talk to get it all cleaned up and fixed. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were the first to enter after you opened the door with a remote that you found on the ground. You yawned as you rested against what was the remains of one of your couches. 

Adlez froze as she took in the sight of you, “I thought we fixed you last night. What happened?” 

As you got up to lead them into your dressing room you saw the lieutenant’s face at the sight of everything. You felt bad for him, knowing he was the one who would have to place all of the purchase orders and other things to make the living space inhabitable once more. 

You entered your dressing room and sat down at your vanity allowing Olivia-Rose to work on your hair. “You did fix me, then I became a mess. And we worked it out for the most part.”

“You didn’t have sex with him did you,” asked Adlez pulling out your outfit for the day. 

“No,” you said reassuring her. 

“Good,” she said firmly. “This morning we will draw you a bath, I believe you need it after last night.” She then left the dressing room.

“But everything worked out, right,” asked Olivia-Rose. 

You smiled at her through the reflection in your vanity mirror. “Yes, for the most part, it did. I think we will be fine for now.” This caused her to smile.

Adlez came back into the room and announced that your bath was ready. You and Olivia-Rose followed her into the bathroom. Both just waiting for you to get in. Even though you had been naked in front of them before when they changed you, this was a bit different. 

“There is no need to be embarrassed m’lady. We have already seen you naked. And proudly more times than the Supreme Leader, much to his frustration,” claimed Adlez.

This caused a laugh from you, and it broke the uneasiness. You undressed and climbed into the soothing tub. Adlez had filled the water with various fragrant oils. 

“Speaking of that, there is something I have to tell you.” Now you had both women’s utmost attention. 

“Go on,” said Adlez as she lathered up a fluffy sponge and started working on your legs. Olivia-Rose was tending to your hair. 

“After we made up,” you started. 

“And made out,” butted in Olivia-Rose which caused a devilish smirk from Adlez. 

“He did his usual of taking a shower to relieve himself of his urges. This time he purposefully left the bathroom door open. Allowing me to hear everything,” heat rising to your face at the memory.

“Mmm I bet the sounds were delicious,” said Adlez, the smirk deepening. You heard a hum of agreement from Olivia-Rose. 

“But that isn’t the best part. He came out of the bathroom in only his towel,” if it wasn’t for the hot bath making you already red, you would have flushed with color.

“And that isn’t normal,” asked Adlez rather sarcastically. You could hear her in your mind saying that was a typical man behavior. 

“No, it isn’t. But he then changed in our room in front of me, giving me a full show.” That part of the memory was playing on a full loop. 

Adlez’s eyes came up to meet yours, her eyes full of curiosity. “How full was it?”

You smirked and responded, “Very full, and of course, being the proper lady I am I averted my gaze but the show wasn’t over. He put on his pants, but he remained commando.”

“Mmm he was a commander,” you heard Adlez comment. 

“And then he fully  _ adjusted himself  _ for show.”

“And a show it was,” commented Olivia-Rose. 

You turned around to meet her eye, rather shocked but pleased she was opening up, even if it was talking about this. 

“He then had the gall to walk back to the bed and asked if I liked it.” A shiver ran down your spine at the memory of him being so close like that. 

“What did you respond,” asked Adlez, you could tell she was on the edge of her seat. 

“That I had no idea what he was talking about.” You were sure she would be proud of your response. Holding your ground.

“Good,” said Adlez, turning back to lather up your arm. 

“But then he said ‘Well, I guess next time I will have to just do what I was going to do, and crawl into bed naked. After all, do hands have to stay above clothing if there is none?’ Can you believe that?”

“He’s got some nerve, but we’ll do better. Remind me of this when you change for bed. I have got just the trick,” said Adlez now lathering up the rest of your torso. 

It felt odd having them wash you, but in a way, it was rather relaxing. Almost massaging away the pain from yesterday. They finished up cleaning you, shaving you, and prompted you to get out. Then they had you sit back down on the edge of the tub while they oiled and lotioned you up. Once they were finished they dressed you and escorted you back to the dressing room to finish your hair and makeup for the morning. 

You all walked into the dining room to order breakfast and coffee. Once again speaking about nothing important in particular. You could see the lieutenant was stressed so you ordered him a cup of tea along with his usual cup of coffee. Before you could finish your breakfast your phone pinged with a message from Kylo, ‘The knights will be guarding you from outside the chambers from now on unless you are alone, then they will be inside with you.’

“Well, so far he is keeping his promise,” you said. 

“Praise the Supreme Leader, he can learn,” said Adlez. You looked at her for a moment, questioning her phrases but dropped it as one of her quirks. 

The lieutenant seemed a bit thrilled at this piece of information so you decided to ask him about it. “Is this good news lieutenant?” 

He nodded rather quickly, “Yes, m’lady. The Knights of Ren are rather unnerving.” You could see him swallow back fear. “And if the Supreme Leader is messaging you things it means he won’t be angry with me if your reaction isn’t good, like when I pass along information.” 

“So you're saying you would get in trouble,” you looked at the short brunette man with confusion. 

“Yes Ma’am,” you could see that he was rather uncomfortable with the question like he just got in trouble all over again. 

“When was this? I’ve never seen him confront you in front of me.” You racked your brain at all of the possibilities. Not finding any time that Kylo confronted the lieutenant in your presence. 

“Well ma’am you may not be required to attend his morning training and debriefing sessions, but I am.” This came as a shock to you. The poor lieutenant had to get up at an awful time just to be berated without you present. 

“And this is when he criticizes you for something that is in no way your fault,” you were mad now. He has done nothing wrong, but Kylo doesn’t see it that way, like the man child he is. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He still had a look of worry on his face. 

“Well, that will have to change. You are my assistant and I should be informed of any ‘punishment’ you should receive, and if you deserve it. And you most certainly have not,” you were learning from Adlez rather quickly that you had a backbone and you were going to use it. 

“Yes, ma’am,” said the lieutenant as he started to make notes. 

“M’lady we will add it to the list of things the Supreme Leader needs to work on,” said Adlez who nodded to the lieutenant. 

“Oh, he royally screwed up by assigning you to me.” with that both of you shared a laugh. 

“M’lady there isn’t anything on the agenda this morning. And the technicians should be here soon to fix and clean up the mess. You will have a learning lunch with the general to go over proper meal etiquette and your normal lesson is to follow. And dinner with the Supreme Leader as usual,” said the lieutenant. 

“What shall we do with the morning then,” you asked. 

“I have an idea,” said Adlez with a sly grin. “But you will have to trust me.” 

You were scared by what that meant, but also rather excited. You followed her and Olivia-Rose out of your chambers where you were followed by the lieutenant, Trudgen and Kuruk. You were winding the endlessly large halls of the  _ Supremacy _ to who knows where, but you were excited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	53. Day Drinking?

Adlez led you all to a door that you, of course, had never seen before. “After you m’lady,” she said with grandeur. 

You entered the room and were rather stunned at the sight. A full-fledged bar. There was a bar on the First Order’s capital ship, a military ship. Not just one in your private quarters. “Adlez isn’t it a little too early for drinking,” you asked, still shocked and taking in the fact that there were people here in the A.M.

“It might be m’lady but it is a change of sight. I assume that if this is rather a shock for you, that you probably don’t want to return here on the Delta shift? It might be a little too risque,” she said as she sauntered over to the bar and was greeted by the bartender with a strange familiarity. 

You followed her, Olivia-Rose sat off to her right at the bar, you to the left, and the lieutenant to your left. Kuruk and Trudgen were seated in a booth close to the door, and a waitress came to take their orders. The bartender asked if you wanted a drink, to which you declined.

“This is supposed to be fun, m’lady. Loosen up just a little bit,” scolded Adlez. 

“I don’t know, for some odd reason, I feel like I shouldn’t be here,” you explained. It honestly felt like something Kylo wouldn’t approve of and you felt rather conflicted. You shouldn’t need his permission to be here, but at the same time, you wanted to know if he was ok with you being here. If this was something acceptable for you to do. 

“As I said, it isn’t like we are here on Delta shift, we are here when things are appropriate for a lady of your status,” said Adlez. 

“What happens here on Delta shift,” you were curious.

“It turns into a gentleman’s club of sorts, nothing too uncouth, more dancing than anything.” Adlez took a sip of her strong-looking drink. 

“More burlesque than striper,” interjected Olivia-Rose quietly. She was babysitting some overly neon thing. 

Your mind rather raced at the thought. Of course, you knew the men and women on board needed entertainment, and would probably seek something like this when they came to port, but to actually have something like this on board sort of blew your mind. “So the First Order employs people specifically to do something like this,” you ask. 

“No ma’am, various officers and enlisted members. No one is paid by the First Order, they do it of their own free will,” responded Mitaka trying to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. 

You only nodded in response. Somehow it made you feel better. That they weren’t employing/forcing people to do this against their will. You were just shocked that it was something the prim and proper First Order would allow. 

“Do any of you partake in this,” you ask looking at each of them. 

Adlez responded first, “Yes, but not as a dancer, only as a spectator. It can be a rather good place to find a willing partner for the night, or a great place to bring one, they do half of the work for you.” 

The lieutenant vigorously shook his head and gulped while he looked towards the stage. Somewhere his mother would probably be proud of him, but you didn’t look down on Adlez either. 

“I’ve only been in here once so far, Adlez dragged me here last night,” said Olivia-Rose. 

“You say that as if it was a bad thing,” rebuked Adlez. She then took a big swig of her drink, which was rather impressive. “I was only trying to broaden your horizons.” 

Broaden her horizons. Olivia-Rose was rather pretty, but you were pretty sure she wasn’t as suave as Adlez and probably didn’t need to go to a bar like this to find someone. You were pretty sure you saw the lieutenant sneaking glances at her the last few days. 

Of course, she was a bit older than him, but they would be rather cute together if you did say so yourself. Maybe that was something you could help with, but you wouldn’t force them into anything, seeing as they would be with each other too often. But they would be cute. 

As if on cue you received a message from Kylo on your phone, ‘It would be preferred if you were not in the Officers’ bar. Find something else to fill your time.’

“Well, this is a no go option ladies and gents,” you said to your group.

“Why is that m’lady,” asked Adlez looking over your shoulder at your phone. 

“The Supreme Leader has asked me to not spend my time here,” you explained. You properly showed her your phone. 

“He said it would be preferred, it doesn’t mean you have to listen,” she said finishing her drink. 

“I know, but I would rather not put him in a bad mood at the moment. We have been going back and forth at each other’s throats, and I am too tired to start right now.” You were honest, you hoped you could go a few days without fighting. It was all becoming rather disheartening and exhausting. 

Her eyes traced along the love bites marking your neck, “You’ve been at each other’s throats all right.” She put down a handful of credits and got up to leave. You all followed. Olivia-Rose knocked back the rest of her drink and hurried up to follow, to which you see the lieutenant tried to stray a bit for her. 

You all left the bar with the knights following behind. “There really isn’t much to do m’lady unless the Supreme Leader would allow you down on the surface. Which I doubt. This is a military vessel. They set most of the entertainment up in the living spaces, so the bar was really the only option we had while your chambers were being cleaned up. Unless you want to go sit it on various training or observe people working there really isn’t anything to do. They designed your chambers to keep you entertained,” said Adlez.

“I could ask him but I doubt that he would allow such things.” You then turned to the lieutenant, “Do we know how far along they are at cleaning up the mess?”

He nodded and quickly pulled up the work order on his data pad, “They should be wrapping up now. It seems you might be without a few things for a few days while one of the workshops start on them, one couch wasn’t able to be repaired and it may take a few days to get some of the bar items imported from across the galaxy.” 

“That seems fine, why don’t we head back. I would like to lie out in the simulated sun for a bit.” With that, your party seemed content on returning to your chambers. 

There were a few technicians finishing up when you got there, but you paid them no mind as you headed straight out to the patio to lie on one of the lounge chairs. Adlez set the temperature and sun strength for you. You felt like a cat laying out in the sun, you even took a quick cat nap before you heard a commotion coming from ‘inside.’

You turned to look through the windows that looked into the living space. You saw Adlez yelling after a male technician and you saw Kuruk take him into a headlock before dragging him out of your chambers. You were curious, so you went to investigate. 

Adlez was clutching her pearl necklace and yelled to Trudgen to, “Make a sweep of the whole place! We don’t need another pervert in here!” You then watched him move throughout the place, taking time to open up every cabinet and door. 

“What is going on,” you ask her. 

“Oh, nothing m’lady. Just a lonely technician who thought it was a good idea to go through your intimates. Nothing we can’t handle. I am just glad it was me in your dressing room and not you.” She held your shoulders reassuringly. She seemed a bit shaken up, but still so well-grounded. 

You saw Trudgen come back from somewhere in the bedroom. He just nodded at both of you which prompted Adlez to ask, “So everything is all clear?” 

He nodded, and you answered for him, seeing as he was the least talkative of the knights, “Yes, I believe everything is all clear. Thank you, Trudgen.” You then turned to the lieutenant who had followed you ‘inside,’ “Can you report this to the Supreme Leader? Possibly have him transferred off the ship?”

You heard Adlez laugh at that, “Good luck with that, he’ll be lucky if the Dark Lord allows him to live let alone have the capacity to be transferred someplace else. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow there is a public execution in the main assembly hall.” She was still holding her pearls as she walked around behind your bar and poured herself a drink of some amber-colored liquor. 

“Well, let’s just hope that the Dark Lord takes my opinion into account and just demotes and transfers him.” You were really hoping you would not have to watch any public execution. You knew they were a thing that the First Order did frequently, but you were hoping to avoid ever seeing it. 

She did a sort of surrendering bow to you as she drank from her drink. You weren’t standing there more than a few more seconds before the doorbell rang; the lieutenant reached the door before you did. It was the general to which you now remembered that you were to have etiquette lessons during lunch and after. 

“Good afternoon, m’lady. Are you ready to start on your dinner etiquette,” asked Hux.

“I suppose I have to be, I don’t want to waste either of our time. But can you answer something for me first? How likely would an execution be for rifling through my things? I mean that female officer got injured and demoted for stealing my things, along with propositioning the Supreme Leader. What would rifling get?” You hoped that the technician would just get demoted without the beating. 

“Well, m’lady I hate to inform you but both of them are on the schedule for tomorrow morning’s assembly. The Supreme Leader would like to make examples of them now that there is a pair. One for propositioning him and one for attempting to proposition you.”

You turned to Adlez in shock, “You said he was just going through my things, not that he was attempting to proposition me.”

“Well, m’lady I don’t think that there was going to be a proposition if I am being honest. He did ask me to fetch you but there was a look in his eyes that told me otherwise, that and he held a pair of your underwear like a savage beast. As I said, you are lucky that it was me that was in the dressing room and not you. We should probably discuss with the Supreme Leader to give you some self-defense courses,” she said, all of this rather matter-of-factly. She wasn’t messing around and probably hoped to avoid telling you. 

You turned to the general, “Will I have to be there?” You loathed the idea, but you had a feeling what the answer might be. 

“I believe it might be for the best that you would be m’lady. As they both committed crimes against you, and therefore the Supreme Leader himself.” You could see that he saw that you were rather displeased with this statement. “You could ask the Supreme Leader if you could be there before while their crimes are being read off and then leave before the execution itself.”

“Thank you general. I suppose I will just have to ask him tonight,” you relented. You then followed the general into the dining room, as did the lieutenant and your ladies-in-waiting. You were rather dreading having a lesson while you ate, but it had to be done. 


	54. Learning and Encouraging

The general placed your lunch order for you, stating there were specific things needed for your course. When the droid arrived it placed a rather elaborate [place setting](https://emilypost.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/formal_place_setting.gif) in front of you. Lots of silverware and glasses that you weren’t familiar with. 

The general seemed to want to make sure everything was precise and forced you to maintain a straighter posture than normal, “Now m’lady it is important that you take such a lead at this formal dinner. Other than the Supreme Leader, you will be the next highest ranking person there.” He then started to show you by example how to do things. 

“So everyone will be looking at me and judging me. Got it.” You instantly got nervous. You hated being the spectacle of everyone’s judgment. 

“Now, now m’lady, they will simply be following your lead, as will the Supreme Leader. One of the reasons why you are learning such things is that he needs to be shown what to do, he will follow your example. He has been taught these things, but he tends to either ignore them or forget them. He will be searching your mind and following you at the dinner,” Hux informed you.

“Searching my mind? Like he will literally be following my lead? I don’t know if I like that.” Truly you didn’t, it rather creeped you out. 

“Well, m’lady it is either you or I, and I think he much prefers your mind versus mine. I can tell you that he does it anyway, if you know where to look you can feel him moving around in there.” He pointed to his head, “You might find that it is a good way to communicate without alerting others. I have found it rather useful at times.”

You considered this for a moment. He was in your head? You knew he read your thoughts, but you assumed that he didn’t do it all the time. But now you thought twice about it. Could he see what Adlez and you were doing? Would it even work if he knew what you were trying to do? How good was his concentration? This was something you were going to have to test.

“Ok, so if I do this correctly then he will take my lead?” You weren’t sure if that was the best thing.

“Yes m’lady, but I might recommend that you rather overly think it when you do. Like yelling in your own mind or rather when you pick up a glass you need to truly _t_ _hink_ about picking up a glass or a fork. He will need to be led by you as to what to do, less we want to make fools of ourselves.” He then went through what each item was used for and in what order you were to use them. 

You eventually got to actually eat your food, “But it is very important to note that anytime you get up from the table all males will stand with you,” said the general. “The Supreme Leader will probably initiate this. You do not have to stand when another woman gets up, but any male that does not stand for you is someone who is insulting you.”

“Do you have a feeling that someone might try to insult me?” This was not something you wanted to repeat, not after the last time. 

“There may be some at the dinner that do not appreciate that your planet has not been in the last few galactic wars. And now it is reaping the benefit of the First Order’s graces without doing the work.” You could tell this was not his personal feelings, only possible opinions that he was relaying to you.   
  


“Would they possibly be the same people who are in favor of General Pryde staying around?” You had a gut feeling. 

The general did not answer exactly but shared a pointed smile with you as he turned back to eating his lunch. You got the message. You were about to fight an entirely different battle. One that Kylo wasn’t proficient in, one that you would lead on your side. 

“They may also make snide remarks about you m’lady, so you best be prepared. Adlez and Olivia-Rose will make sure you are presentable. It will be best if there are no marks along your neck. While they may be something, the Supreme Leader enjoys, it will not be something appreciated by them less you be in a different position; like that of a courtesan and not a lady.” He pointed to his own neck, miming to where your marks were. 

“We won’t have that,” stated Adlez. “If anything, that will be the women they call wives that they will bring along.” She seemed ready to take this battle for you. You wonder if it was ever insinuated that she was one in her previous marriage. High society women were known to be catty and backstabbing.

“Of course not, but Lady Ren may have to remind the Supreme Leader as to the purpose of covering herself up.” You could tell that both you and the general knew that he probably wouldn’t be happy with the decision to cover them up. 

Your hand went to the mark behind your ear, the one he almost seemed to insist be there at all times. Not that the other marks didn’t mean anything, but this was the one he darkened and remarked every morning. You had a feeling that this was the one that would have to stay, his little mark of ownership over you. His signature, his brand. 

“I will try to do so general, but perhaps we can find a dress that makes covering them less tedious?” You turned to your ladies with the question. 

“I have just the dress in mind, m’lady. It will show off a bit of your back but almost nothing of your collarbone and what is shown will be easy to cover. One of your many beautiful floral dresses,” said Adlez. 

“We are confident we can cover any mark, the Supreme Leader decides to leave,” said Olivia-Rose.

Both of them made you feel better, you were glad you had their company otherwise you would be all alone here. Floundering trying to make this all work, lost trying to find your new role. They were essential to your success. 

After lunch, you all made your way up to the second level. You walked past the place where your drink from the other night had crashed. There was a stain in the carpet there. You stared at it for a moment before taking your spot. Adlez noticed the stain and walked back downstairs before coming back with a brush and a bottle of seltzer water, salt and a rag. She went to work lifting the stain if only she could do that to the memory. 

The general informed you that you would be skipping around in order of lessons until the Supreme Leader informed him that you were to do some of the others he had in mind. 

[Ch. 19: The Chaperon and Other Conventions](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_19_post.mp3)

[Ch. 27 Part 1: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 1-24)](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_27-1_post.mp3)

[Ch. 27 Part 2: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 25-59)](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_27-2_post.mp3)

[Ch. 27 Part 3: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 60-97)](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_27-3_post.mp3)

[Ch. 27 Part 4: Notes and Shorter Letters (para. 98-140)](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_27-4_post.mp3)

[Ch. 27 Part 5: Notes and Shorter Letters (chart How to Address Important Personages - to end)](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_27-5_post.mp3)

[Ch. 28: Longer Letters](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_28_post.mp3)

“Once you are officially introduced as the First Lady, Lady Ren of the First Order and because you are not married to the Supreme Leader at any official events, you are not to go off alone with him. I believe the Supreme Leader has designated myself as your official chaperon at the dinner. You will also take up some duties, including some official correspondences with some of our allies. When we get closer to the dinner the Supreme Leader and I will sit down with you and go over your new duties,” the general then stood and folded his arms neatly behind his back. 

So you were not only were you and he going to be watched by everyone, you couldn’t be alone together for five minutes. You were also going to be given new duties and responsibilities. Part of you was happy because you were going to be trusted with things, but part of you was dreading having to possibly do something you didn’t want to do. 

“It is also recommended that for the next few meals following up to the dinner that you follow that same set up to practice your etiquette. It should now be set up on your meal preference list to eat this way. Even though the Supreme Leader will probably just follow you, it may not hurt to have him eat like that with you beforehand,” you could tell that the general was giving you a hint. You would agree that Kylo had some manners to work on and it wouldn’t hurt to start early. 

The general then took his leave as you followed your ladies down to the dressing room to get ready for dinner. You saw the lieutenant linger for a moment before he also took his leave.

You then got ready with your ladies, putting you in another rather simple dress for the evening and doing another simple but elegant style. 

“So is there anyone that has caught either of your eyes on board,” you asked both of them. 

Adlez caught your eye in the mirror you could tell that she knew what you were doing. “Not particularly for me, but I have had fun with some of the officers at the bar.” 

Both of you watched Olivia-Rose blush and duck her head when both of your attention turned to her. “There is no one in particular.”

“No one in particular, or someone who hasn’t noticed yet,” asked Adlez taking the lead. Her all-knowing eyes settled on her younger counterpart. 

“I don’t know if it would even be appropriate, or even if it would be reciprocated,” Olivia-Rose said in her own defense. She looked stressed and worried. 

“It is most certainly reciprocated and really all you need to do is ask permission from Lady Ren,” said Adlez to her. She then looked at you, asking permission for her. 

Olivia-Rose then caught your eye in the vanity mirror, you got up and took her shoulders in your hands. “Of course you can, all I ask is that if it doesn’t work out that you will be able to work together. He is my assistant after all, and you will have to be near each other every day.”

Olivia-Rose just blushed and ducked her head. Eventually, she nodded in response. You then walked over to the vanity mirror with her and Adlez to inspect their handiwork. They did an excellent job, as always. 

“Adlez do you think you can get me ready for bed by yourself?” You turned your head to the older woman.

She met your eye in the mirror and answered it with a smirk, saying, “Of course I can.”

You then turned to Olivia-Rose, “I expect that you should be able to track him down. Or do you want me to send him a message? I am giving you the opportunity to do it now before things get too hectic for all of us.”

She blushed and ducked her head once more, “I can find him m’lady and thank you.” 

With that, you dismissed them both and headed to the living area to wait for Kylo to return for dinner. You had some things to discuss tonight, one of them being the execution tomorrow. You just hoped he could keep a level head for once so that another night together wasn’t ruined. 


	55. Execution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter contains exactly what its title says. Proceed with caution.

Kylo entered in a flurry of black. In an instant, his helmet was off and he was next to you, pulling you up into his arms. Kisses were peppered along your neck and collarbone before he took your face between his hands and asked, “Are you all right?” His lips ghosted against yours as he waited for your answer. 

“I am fine, nothing happened to me, Adlez saw to that, but is tomorrow’s execution really necessary? I mean, other than trying to take my things and spook Adlez, is there really a need to kill him? Or her for that matter, I thought she was demoted? Or does that not matter anymore?”

His hand found its way to your lower back and pressed you against him. Flush against him. His eyes were burning deep into yours, “You forget that you are the Future Empress of the First Order, that you are currently the First Lady, what they did are threats against your safety. And shall I be lax against threats against you? What sort of message would that send the rest of the galaxy? That you can be threatened or attempt to be replaced without any consequences? No. You are mine, so you will be protected.”

His hand then slid down to your ass, groping along it, squeezing. His lips grazed your ear as he whispered sensually in your ear, “And besides, I should be the only man that handles your intimates, even if I wish you wore none.” 

A shiver ran down your spine as his lips made their way to yours. He tipped you back in a romantic way as he deepened the kiss. Your body flooded with warmth and arousal. That small part of your brain set off sirens to tell you that you needed to eat dinner. You were thankful that a small portion of you remained rational while in his grasp.

You placed a hand on his chest and pushed you two apart. “We should eat dinner.”

He huffed in response; you were pretty sure that if it was up to him, he would be devouring you for dinner instead of eating real food. You made your way to the dining room. Where you instructed him to pull out your chair for you, “I would like to practice for the dinner.” 

He obliged and responded, “And I see that you are taking the general’s advice. Did he call me a heathen when he talked about my manners?” 

“No, he did not. But I did take his advice to try to practice my table etiquette, and he made the suggestion that it would not hurt to have you practice too. I want to make a good first impression at my first official event as Lady Ren.”

Your food came, and the droid set out your food in the formal dining placement. You started with your salad, and you saw Kylo watching you and following your lead. You then started to explain to him what you were doing and why you were doing it, just like the general did earlier that day. 

You still weren’t at the stage to really ask about each other’s day with any sort of normalcy. That was still a rather foreign concept for you two. He seemed to prefer to eat in silence. Maybe because he could already see how you were doing in your mind? He was also rather private with his own thoughts and feelings and you didn’t want to push anything tonight. 

After dessert was done Kylo pulled out your chair for you and took your hand, leaving everything to the droid. Instead of making your way to the bedroom like normal, he guided you ‘outside.’ He prompted you to lay back on one of the lounge chairs while he did the same. He pressed something on the remote and suddenly the fake darkening sky that you were used to changing to allow you to see through the large windows that encased the room.

Your world was filled with the night sky, you felt like you were floating amongst the stars. Neither of you said anything but a droid came in with a chilled bottle of champagne and glasses. It seemed that he was insistent on another romantic night. You had no idea if this was to appease you or if it was something he genuinely wanted to do. 

You had drunk more of the champagne than he did, and when it came time to go to get up, you could feel it. He silently helped you into your dressing room where he called Adlez to get you ready. She showed up a few minutes later after he had already left you alone, knowing that she did not like men in your dressing room. 

When she looked at you she tutted, “Now, now m’lady let’s get you ready for bed. You have a big morning tomorrow.” She then removed your shoes and then jewelry for you. 

You weren’t paying much attention to anything as your head was still fuzzy from your bubbly drink. You did have the hiccups which plagued you while you were finishing getting ready for bed. Adlez disappeared for a few minutes before returning with some sort of drink in her hand, “Drink, you can thank me in the morning.” 

You followed your orders. “I at least hope he gave you good champagne. You deserve nothing less.” She was always the one to tell you your worth. You were thankful. 

Once you were finished with the drink, she took the glass from your hand and brought you over to the full-length mirror. “Now remember your stance, m’lady. Don’t let him trick you into anything.” 

You don’t know if you had the energy for anything, your body feeling the weight of the alcohol you had consumed. She then brought you to the bedroom where Kylo was getting ready for bed. He was just in his pair of black lounge pants when he noticed the two of you. You could hardly stand by yourself as exhaustion hit you. 

Kylo came to your side, taking your arm from Adlez and dismissing her for the night. You leaned your entire body weight into him, the buzz fully taking you. He helped guide you to the bed. 

“I have changed the permissions on the door, you should no longer need to allow the knights, the general, the lieutenant, or your ladies-in-waiting in. So in the morning, they can come get you out of bed.” He deposited you onto the bed, crawling to the side of you. 

His hand-carded itself through your hair, his lips found their way to your lips, his body pressing into yours. 

“Do I really have to go tomorrow,” you ask sleepily. You were really lazily not returning the kisses. 

“Yes, but I can make it easy for you, make the pain and dread go away.” His kisses were unreciprocated as you drifted off into sleep. You could feel his hands grope a bit before you felt a blanket come and cover you. You then drifted off into sleep. 

You dreamed of a family. A man, a woman, and their young son, who looked to be around the age of 3, just from his size alone. You couldn’t see their faces as they moved about the house around you. The man seemed to be leaving, the woman seemed to be dressed in a fancy dress ready to go out. They were arguing about something, you couldn’t hear what but, they were yelling. And they both left. Left the boy by himself in his baby corral.

Time seemed to both standstill and fast forward at the same time. You watched as both of the parents walked in and saw the boy, who cried himself to sleep. They both yelled at each other and woke him up, his crying, starting up again. They both ignored him in favor of yelling at each other before eventually the woman picked up the boy and put him in his nursery. That’s when the dream shifted. 

You saw the same woman, older now, staring off as the boy was older being taken away by another man. The father was with that man before he turned away to walk to the woman. The boy was much older. Your heart broke for him. The dream shifted again. 

The woman was now staring off into some endless sea, with a blazing fire behind her. She was much older now, you still couldn’t focus on her face. This was the first time you could hear her say something clearly, “Ben, where are you?”

You woke up to a familiar pressure behind your ear, “Wake up Kitten.” The pressure turned into a full wet like which caused your face to scrunch up in disgust. “I need to go with the knights but I will return to fetch you for the morning assembly.” With that, he gave you one long hard kiss and bid you goodbye. 

You stayed in bed and didn’t stir until you heard Adlez say, “M’lady you absolutely have to get up. We need to get you presentable.” You were then practically yanked out of bed. And marched into the dressing room. Where you sleepily just allowed them to manipulate you into whatever they needed you to do. 

You were dressed in a dress instead of your usual classic casual outfit. Adlez muttered something about whether or not you would need to change for dinner if you just kept the dress on all day. Once they were finished dressing you the lieutenant, and they joined you for breakfast. 

You all exchanged pleasantries, but this was the first time you got to see the lieutenant and Olivia-Rose together since you sent her away last night. You watched as they exchanged glances and blushed at each other every once in a while. You shared a look with Adlez, your mission was accomplished. She smirked in response. 

“We all have the mandatory assembly this morning. The Supreme Leader will come and get you Lady Ren, but we must leave before you,” said Mitaka. “Then you have nothing on your plate until your lesson after lunch.”

“I was thinking after the assembly we should go over your dress for the formal dinner and make sure it is something you want to wear,” said Adlez. 

You nodded to her in agreement. Not really caring in particular what you did, so long as it took your mind off what was going to happen. You finished your breakfast, and you all got up to leave the dining room. You went to go sit in the living space to wait for Kylo while the others all left. 

Kylo once again entered in a flurry of black, but this time there was also the paleness of his strong arms that came in with him. He was helmetless like he usually was when he trained with the knights in the morning. He rushed up to kiss you before saying, “Let me shower and grab something to eat quickly and then we can go.”

He was off down the hall to the bathroom; he was gone no more than five minutes before he appeared back near you, and he entered the kitchen that you had yet to step foot in since your initial tour. He walked out and finished a smoothie looking drink before setting the empty container on the bar top. He was dressed in his usual black uniform, his hair was freshly washed and appeared to be rather dry already. He donned his helmet before taking your arm and whisking you down the halls of the  _ Supremacy.  _

You came to a large set of doors that opened upon your arrival. The stadium-like room was filled with officers, stormtroopers, and enlisted members. You felt sick as Kylo led you to the stage in the front of the room. There on the stage were Phasma and Hux waiting with the two officers who were about to be executed and a handful of other officers, stormtroopers, and of course the knights. 

You felt immensely sick, not only were you going to watch these two lose their lives, but you were now on spectacle for what seemed to be a couple hundred thousand people. You could also see that there were camera droids floating about and capturing this whole thing. Behind the stage, there were large projector screens, large enough that the people in the nosebleeds had a rather decent view. 

You felt like you were going to throw up as you reached the chair that Kylo was sitting you down in. It was near a podium that held the First Order’s insignia. You watched as the general stood at attention next to Phasma, who held a large axe in her hands. 

A wave of calm washed over you as Kylo began to address the assembly. “As you all know this assembly has been called to order to address the crimes against your first lady, Lady Ren.” He gestured to where you were sitting. “Any crime committed against her is a crime committed against me. And any crime committed against me is punishable by death.” You heard a roar of excitement in the crowd. They wanted this. 

“Both of these fellow members of the First Order have committed such crimes and bring down the purity of our regime.” He gestured to them where they knelt and were bound to the floor. “Today they will meet the consequences of their actions. Being your gracious Supreme Leader, I have made the decision to run a lottery amongst the ranks as to who will be the executioners. One for JL-9843 and one for GV-2367, two separate executioners.” The roar was deafening now. You felt as if you were sent back into ancient Rome now not some futuristic space society.

Hux stepped forward with a data pad in his hands, he called out two identification numbers, “WY-9287 and EQ-2997 please come forward.” You watched as one male and one female started to descend down the stairs from their seats. The male seemed to be holding himself back from running with glee towards the stage. The female had a smug air about her as she came forward, her head held high with her nose in the air.

Both looked to be about the same ages as the two who were about to die, and by your memory of uniform rank identification, they seemed to be similar ranks too. You felt the nausea hit you again as you bent forward in your chair. It immediately dissipated when Kylo’s hand came to rest on your shoulder. He was right. He was going to ease whatever holdbacks you had about the execution, but you were still going to have to watch it. 

“Both of you have the honor of purging impurities from the First Order, those who wish to cause disruption to our superiority over the rest of the galaxy. We have one simple purpose: to maintain order. Now it is your duty to restore that order.” The general then placed them next to their soon to be victims. 

You watched as Kylo’s other hand lifted into the air, both of the soon to be executed slid back into positions on the floor, facing each other and over high blocks. You watched as the chains that held them to the floor tightened and pulled them down, so they rested on the blocks, assuming a position for execution. 

Phasma first handed the axe to WY-9287 as he was going to execute JL-9843, who had been in your room the previous day. He gladly took the axe, almost vibrating at the thought of committing this act of execution. The room fell silent as they waited for the order. You clamped your eyes shut; you heard a thud against the stage floor and then the room erupted in deafening cheers. 

You heard footsteps, and the room fell silent once more. Without opening your eyes, you knew the axe had been handed over to the woman. You heard another thud just before the room grew loud again. Your eyes were clamped so shut that you started to see white, instead of the usual darkness. 

You were hauled to your feet by Kylo; you didn’t dare open your eyes yet. He brought you to the edge of the stage, where you felt compelled to open them. You saw the faces of adoration and jubilation among the crowd. You felt as if you had no control over your body as you smiled at them.

Your eyes shut once more as you felt Kylo guide you back down the stage and out of the assembly hall. You didn’t open them until you were back in the safety of your chambers, where he held you in his arms while tears slid down your face. 

“I did this to protect you. It was a message to the galaxy. I am sorry it had to be this way Kitten, but it had to be done.” You don’t remember him taking his helmet off, but his lips were against your crown and his fingers in your hair. 

You wondered just how many more executions you would have to witness. Was this going to be a common thing? Would the message get through to the rest of the galaxy? That you were not to be harmed, less they wanted to face the wrath of Supreme Leader of the First Order Kylo Ren. You didn’t have an answer to your own questions, but you knew an answer would come sooner or later, you just had to wait. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	56. Broken

You were in Kylo’s arms for a few more moments as you waited for the others to arrive. Once they were there Kylo assisted you to stand and deposited you in your dressing room for Adlez and Olivia-Rose to fix you. 

You sat in front of the vanity as they fixed your makeup. You felt numb and rather unwhole inside as you sat there staring at your own  _ living _ reflection. Your mind not wanting to process what had happened. Your brain felt like it was full of cotton, your body attached to strings like a meaningless puppet. 

You had no desire to really do anything at the moment but your ladies-in-waiting were attempting to distract you and cheer you up. Putting your hair into a beautiful elegant hairstyle, something fancier than you were used to, and putting you into the beautiful flowy dress that Adlez had planned for the formal dinner. It was still as beautiful when Olivia-Rose first recommended it to you when you had your shopping spree but you weren’t in the mood to look at it, let alone be all done up with nowhere to go. 

They then dressed you in a different dress from this morning. Something lighter, and happier. A silent hope to improve your mood. Once they were done dressing you down you went out to the patio to lay out in the simulated sun. Hoping that its warmth could not only warm your bones but warm the cold feeling that was plaguing you. 

When it came to lunch you ordered on the patio, something small as you didn’t think you could stomach anything more than that. You were silent the whole time, lost in your own non-existent thoughts. When it came time for your lesson the general came out to greet you on the patio, he stopped dead in his tracks after assessing the condition you were in. 

“M’lady it is time for your lesson.” You did nothing to show that you had heard him, you just continued to sit there. The general just stood and analyzed you before he sat down in the chair next to you. “If you would like I can have someone come down and talk to you about this morning.” His voice was soft and sincere. 

You turned to look at him, “I will take my lesson out here.” And you turned your head back to stare at the simulated horizon. 

“As you wish,” he then took the remote and started your lessons. 

[ **Ch. 32: Etiquette in Business and Politics** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_32_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 33 Part 1: Dress (para. 1-39)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_33-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 33 Part 2: Dress (para. 40-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_33-2_post.mp3)

“Today’s lesson was short, would you like to start on something new? I can make arrangements to have you start learning more diplomacy issues.” He waited for your answer that did not come. He shared a look with your ladies-in-waiting and the lieutenant. 

He got up from the lounge chair and walked away. You watched your entourage leave with him. You were left alone for a few minutes before a silver figure came into view. You were rather surprised to see her here, you shifted in the chair to allow her to sit on your lounge chair. 

She took off her helmet, but you both remained silent for a while until you couldn’t take it anymore, “They died because of me,” your voice sounded foreign to your ears. 

“But m’lady its more than that, they betrayed the First Order. It had to be done.” Her voice was even and firm, but still gentle in many ways. 

“If I were just some random officer’s match and the same thing happened would they have lost their lives?” You could feel the tears fall from your face. 

She was silent for a moment before she responded, assessing your emotions.”No, but they would have if there was someone else in your shoes, it is your position that they acted against. You mustn’t blame yourself, they would have slipped up someplace else, prolonging the inevitable.” 

But that wasn’t good enough. “But they didn’t have to die. If they would have messed up doing something else they would have just been reprimanded and not killed. I am the reason that they are dead don’t you see.” They were killed because of you, and you did nothing to stop it, nothing that mattered anyway. 

“We are at war ma’am, you might have just given them a more merciful death.” With that, she stood and walked away. You were confused for a moment before Kylo replaced her. 

“You said you would make the dread and pain go away,” you looked at him, meeting his cautious assessment of your condition. 

“Is that what you want Kitten? I can still do that.” His hand was in your hair. That is what you want, you wanted all of this nothingness gone. You wanted it gone. 

His hand moved to caress your forehead, you started to feel yourself become more numb, but in a different way. Your consciousness was separating itself from your being. 

“My old master once said ‘Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.’ This might hurt Kitten.” 

But it didn’t all you felt was nothingness before your vision faded to black, but before you became fully unconscious you heard him once more say, “You will be hollow. I shall squeeze you empty, and then I shall fill you with myself.”

The blackness took over. You were fully out now and stayed like that before the dreams took over. 

The woman was there again, this time joined by a lot of people you did not recognize. Two men, one woman, a golden figure, a tall hairy tree, and a white barrel. You couldn’t see them exactly. They were staring off in the distance over a cliff and you were facing the cliff but too far away to make out any more details. Black smoke swirled through the dream and shifted to something else entirely. 

You saw yourself, or what looked to be you sitting on a large throne. Chained up next to you was a large black dog, with black eyes. Its hair was shaggy and the chain that was around its neck was thick. The dog moved to put its head in your lap, your other self petted it. Stroking its long black fur. You took a step closer to yourself. The dog shifted and growled as you approached yourself. You could now see the scar that graced its face, jagged and red. 

Your other self laughed as you stepped back in fear of the dog. A haunting laugh that chilled you to the bone. You paused. You tried to speak to yourself but no sound came out of your mouth, your lips moved but you were silent. The other you just laughed and sat forward. Your other self’s eyes glimmered with a sense of malicious intent. Before anything more could happen the dream shifted once more. 

You were on a desert planet. Miles and miles of sand and nothing. As far as the eye could see. In the distance, you could see him. Kylo his back was to you and another woman was at his side. Not the older woman who you had seen before many times, but a younger one. A brunette that was a half a head shorter than him. As you approached them you could hear laughter, his and hers. His arm was behind her back as hers was to him. She kissed his cheek and you felt the earth collapse under you. 

You were sinking into quicksand, rapidly. You struggled as it pulled you down. The earth was swallowing you whole. To never release you again. You blacked out in your own dream. 

You woke up to a similar scene to the one before. You were on a grassy planet now. Miles and miles of grass and wildflowers. Kylo had his back to you, but he was alone. You looked around you to see if you could see her, the other woman, but you couldn’t. You started to run towards him. As you reached him you held out your hand. When you touched his shoulder to turn him to face you felt a familiar pressure behind your ear.

You woke up. 

Gasping for air, you jerked awake. Flailing for a few moments before you heard his voice, “Kitten, Kitten it’s alright. I am here. Nothing can hurt you now.” His hand combed through your hair. 

Somehow you had gotten changed and were now back in your bed. Something that Kylo must have asked Adlez and Olivia-Rose to help him with. At least you hoped he did. 

His lips were against yours, his tongue winding its way into your mouth, just before he pulled away. “How are you feeling this morning?”

It was a simple question, but you didn’t know how to answer. You didn’t feel like yourself that’s for sure. You felt foreign. But not in the way you did previously, it was a new foreign now. “I don’t know.”   
  


A hand came to caress your face, “That’s ok, it might take a few days to fully feel better. But I promise you will.” Another kiss graced your lips. “I promise Kitten.” 

His arms were under you as he carried you into your dressing room, leaving you with Adlez and Olivia-Rose with one final kiss. “I shall be back for lunch, but you should like the surprise I have for you this morning.” And with that, he was gone. 

Adlez spoke first, “How are you feeling m’lady?” She was cautious as she started on your hair. Her fingers have a lighter touch than normal. 

Like answering Kylo before her you did not have an answer, “I don’t know. Not like me and also myself. I don’t know how I feel, how I am supposed to feel.” You watched as both of them exchanged worried glances. A sort of silent communication that they were starting to form. 

You just sat there while they got you ready, your outfit this time was athleisure. You wondered if it had anything to do with Kylo’s surprise, but you knew that you would be told when they wanted you to know.    
  
When you were finished you walked up the stairs to the lofted lounge. Finding a spot in front of the fireplace to have your breakfast. Something that shocked the two women, but they followed nonetheless. The lieutenant eventually joined you as you all sat in silence listening to the flames crackle and pop. 

Eventually, your food came but you still ate that in silence. Knowing that small talk was rather useless at this point. Nothing about being in the confines of the First Order made small talk feel normal. You all knew the same news that was broadcasted out, you were together most of the time, and there was no weather aboard a starship. Small talk felt pointless. 

When you were finished the lieutenant announced that you were to follow him. And you did. Out the door and down the never-ending hallways. Feeling numb to your surroundings and the faces and lack of faces you saw along the way. He led you to a large door. 

To your excitement beyond the door was a training facility and waiting was the chrome gilded Amazon herself. “M’lady it would be an honor to teach you how to shoot.” 

Your body filled with glee as you followed her to the target range, a small blaster in her hand. “It is rather simple. Line up the sights, undo the safety and pull the trigger.” She moved your body into a wide stepped position. One hand placed under the butt of the blaster while the other held it. “Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot. And only then do you fire.” 

She stood next to you as you fired at the target, narrowly missing your aimed position, but still hitting the target.

“Adjust your shoulders a bit and relax your arms. You want to be firm but not too rigid. Inhale as you aim, exhale as you fire.”

This time your shots were perfectly on the mark. A female figure appeared before the target as your next shots hit. The woman from the desert planet. Right to the heart. A kill shot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	57. The Dinner Pt. 1

You couldn’t believe your eyes, she was gone as fast as she appeared. But you felt a slight sense of relief watching as the blast went through her heart. But she was gone, and you watched as the blast sizzled into the target. You felt the burning deep within your bones. Their fire burns within you again.

You practiced for a couple of hours. As Phasma just seemed content in letting you shoot your frustrations out on to the target. Once you were finished you headed back to your chambers for lunch. 

Kylo returned as he promised. Joining you for lunch. He kissed you upon entering the dining room where you sat waiting for him. Lunch went on mostly silently with neither of you speaking. He kissed you before he left. 

Your lessons with the general went by in a blur, you watched more diplomatic videos and it all blended together. You changed as usual in your dressing room for dinner. Dinner came and went. You changed for bed and made out with Kylo for a bit. You fell asleep like normal and your dreams were a blend from the night before, except every time you were on the desert planet there was a blaster in your hand. You attempted to shoot the woman but before the blast hit her the dream shifted again, the earth beneath you collapsed into quicksand. 

You woke up to the pressure behind your ear; you felt like you were in a fog. Kylo kissed you and told you to go target practice with Phasma. You did your routine of getting ready and changing, eating breakfast. Target practice was the only time you felt a bit human once more. But then you had lunch, your lessons, dinner, getting ready for bed, kisses, falling asleep, nightmares: repeat. 

This was your life for the next week, the days all blending together. You haven’t felt at all human. A monotonous machine going through the tasks. No smiles, no joy, nothing. The only time you had felt anything was when the blaster fired. Wake up, get dressed, breakfast, blaster practice, lunch, lessons, dinner, kisses, bed, and nightmares. 

You woke up to a pressure behind your ear, and then kisses down your neck, “Good morning Kitten, today is a big day. We have our dinner tonight.” His hands then roamed down your sides, caressing and squeezing your body as they had been doing the last few days. 

Your brain woke up at the mention of this. When was the last time you had truly had a thought? Had a week gone by without a single coherent thought? You felt a pit in your stomach. 

“I’ll be back after lunch, we will get ready during your usual lesson time.” His finger grazed your cheek before he hooked it under your chin, giving you one last kiss before he left. 

You sat up. Today was the day you were supposed to be presented officially as the First Lady of the First Order. And time had just slipped you by. You had been frozen, and now you didn’t know how to feel. Something in your gut told you tonight was not going to be a party like Kylo seemed to insist that it was. 

Something in the back of your brain reminded you of what Hux had said. That there would be people at the dinner that would not like your status, would not like that you had come from Earth. 

You then remembered why you were dreading the dinner, Pryde. He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be there as a good gesture to the people who would look down upon you. The man who made your skin crawl. Before you could feel like you were going to throw up Adlez and Olivia-Rose were at your side hauling you up and into the bathroom. 

“Now m’lady, you are supposed to get ready with the Supreme Leader after lunch but we need to get you prepped before that,” said Adlez. You were being stripped and put in the tub that was filled with fragrant oils. They worked on your hair and skin. Washing away the numbness that you had felt all week. Mending you whole again. 

You started to feel human as Olivia-Rose brushed conditioner through your wet hair. Adlez buffed away at your skin before inspecting your nails, “We shall have to do something special for tonight.” 

You were washed, shaved, and thoroughly moisturized by the time you had got out. This was the first time you ate breakfast in just your robe with wet hair. You stared out the window in the dining room at the simulated horizon. You turned to Adlez, who was chatting quietly with the others. “Can you change the windows to the stars outside?” 

She smiled and got up to do so. You watched as the simulated background beyond your ‘outdoor’ plants changed to allow the galaxy and stars to shine their darkness through. You continued to look out the window as you finished eating. 

You followed Olivia-Rose and Adlez into the dressing room. Where they moisturized your skin once more. Olivia-Rose gave you a facial and sculpted your brows as Adlez gave you a manicure and pedicure. They were sculpting you into an Empress, mending you whole again. Or at least mending the  _ you _ that the outside world got to see. Your mind, heart, and soul still felt empty. 

You had no idea how much time had passed before you heard a knock on the door. Adlez went to answer it. 

“We need to get ready,” you heard Kylo’s voice through the doorway. 

“Of course, we will have her ready for you. Do you need any assistance m’lord?” 

“No, I shall be fine, just make sure she is ready.” And then you heard the door shut. 

“You heard the Dark Lord, we need to get you ready,” laughed Adlez. It was the first time in the last few days that you remember hearing her laugh.

They placed you in front of the vanity. Adlez doing something intricate with your hair. The same hairstyle she had practiced days before. Olivia-Rose doing your makeup. By the end of their handiwork you looked like you had just stepped off the silver screen with Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, and Marilyn Monroe. You looked otherworldly.

They then walked you over to the open armoire and helped you dress. Adlez insisted on some shapewear, “You look stunning m’lady, but you don’t want to give anyone any chances of finding out what you are hiding. That is for the Supreme Leader only to know. And besides, the dress is really flowy and this will help you feel more secure.” You took her advice, they really did help the dress fit you that much more. 

You still looked like yourself, but a bit better. When you looked at yourself in the full-length mirror. You saw a woman who was fit to be the First Lady of the First Order. A woman who was sure of herself and her position. If only the inside reflected what the outside portrayed. 

You thanked both of them and stepped out into the hallway. You could hear movement in the living room, so that’s where you headed. Kylo was for the first time pouring himself a drink from the bar. When he saw you he paused before setting the bottle down. “You look stunning, Kitten.” He stepped out from behind the bar abandoning the drink. 

While you looked like a beautiful garden in your  [ floral dress ](https://us.dolcegabbana.com/en/women/clothing/dresses/long-floral-print-chiffon-dress-floral-print-F6I0OTIS1ATHC1AM.html) , he looked like a god incarnate. You were so sure before that nothing could make his chest look wider but you were wrong, oh how you were wrong. 

He no longer donned his usual ribbed uniform. He was dressed in  [ soft black leather ](http://lookbook.jupiterascending.com/intl/uk/images/assets/Costumes-19.jpg) with a cape attached to his shoulders. His forearms and the underside of his cape looked like they had captured the stars. His shirt fit him tightly and the v of its neck revealed a high collar of the same stars, with the First Order insignia resting among them. His pants and boots were leather that seemed to kiss his powerful thighs and calves. The top of his head had  [ several braids ](https://reylo-trash-lives-here.tumblr.com/post/163443800406/boomdafunk-kylo-braids-the-sweetest-villain) keeping his long luscious black locks out of his face. Oh, how the gods made him handsome. 

Your breath could go no deeper than your throat as you were stunned at the sight of him. He seemed to figure out what was happening as he closed the distance between you and took your face in his hand. “Do you feel the same way about me, Kitten?” Heat flooded you as you attempted to nod in response. 

A hand graced your lower back, as he whispered into your ear, “Good, I was hoping you would feel that way. But we must be going, after all, you are the guest of honor.” His lips left your ear, and he shifted his body to start to lead you down the hall. You were glad he did not expect you to answer right away as your brain was failing to make even a  _ word _ coherent. 

He led you down the ever-winding halls, your breath still in your throat as you walked next to him. His lips were against your ear once more, “We shall have to get you a drink right away to calm your nerves.” And he was right, not only were you speechless because of him, you were nervous as all hell. 

You had failed to notice initially that you were being flanked by the Knights of Ren, all six of them. Wearing their masks and armor. Guarding you both from any eyes that might be watching as you walked down the halls. 

You came upon the door to the formal hall, one used for occasions like this. Your heart was pounding before Kylo’s lips came to your ear once more, “Everything will be fine Kitten. No one can harm you while I am here.” 

The door opened, and you saw lots of unfamiliar faces, a few you did recognize but lots that you didn’t. And one face you hoped to never see again, but alas he was here and walking towards you. Thankfully Hux was waiting for you both as he announced, “The Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and the lovely First Lady, Lady Ren.” Everyone broke into light applause at your entrance. You watched from the corner of your eye as Kylo’s head lifted in acknowledgment. You chose to smile at the crowd. 

Kylo then guided you to Hux, before Pryde could reach you both. “M’lady you look exquisite tonight,” he said bowing to you. 

“Thank you, you certainly look handsome yourself.” He did, he was out of his normal black uniform and in a white jacket with black pants. His skin and hair looked rather beautiful against the white. 

You then turned your head to watch Kylo, whose eyes were scanning the room like a hawk. He spoke to the general, “Is everyone here?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader they are.”

“And their status?”

“Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, but GH-531, Garel, and more importantly Kuat have expressed slight disinterest in Lady Ren.” The mention of your name grabbed your attention.

“All three of them are standing with  _ tradition, _ I see?” You watched as his gaze tore to Pryde and the three men standing with him. They all matched him in age and stature. 

“Yes, it seems like Senator Ormes Apolin will be the hardest to persuade. Remember his stance on significant others joining meetings and formal discussions.” 

“I remember Hux, it took everything I had to not cut out his tongue when Snoke invited him for dinner the last time.”

That name, you were worried now. The man who had previously held Kylo’s position was not a kind man in any sense. You were worried if the man that they were speaking of, this Ormes Apolin if he would do something drastic tonight.

You watched as Hux bowed and stepped back, Kylo guided you around the room where you met various important officials and he did see to it that a glass of champagne was given to you and finished twice over before you finally made your way to the group of aging men.

“Ah, Supreme Leader! Lady Ren, it is a delight to see you again.” Pryde’s eyes were open doors to his deepest thoughts. You could tell by the way he was looking between you two that he had not learned his lesson.

Kylo spoke for you, “General Pryde, Senator Apolin, Senator Slenic, and Ambassador Gakon, this is Lady Ren.” You gave your best welcoming smile to each of them. 

Senator Slenic spoke first, “It is an honor to be here m’lady. This whole thing must be a shock to you. Especially compared to where you came from.” 

You heard the dismissal of your planet but you played it off, “In many ways it is, but I am learning. Allegiant General Hux has been a great help. But I have been informed that my planet has a lot to offer the First Order and I am grateful to show its opportunity.” You smiled sweetly back. 

You could see a small smirk on the corner of Kylo’s mouth. He approved of your answer. 

“Yes, I am sure your planet will be very useful. But what about you m’lady? Will you be useful to the First Order,” asked Ambassador Gakon. His tone was the least spiteful. He seemed the most hopeful of the three galactic officials. 

“I hope to be, but we can never truly be the judge of ourselves now, can we? I can only learn by what others show me and by doing. It is for the rest of the galaxy to decide whether or not I am useful as the First Lady of the First Order.” 

“That’s a new title, isn’t it,” asked Senator Apolin. “Even the Empire did not have such a title. You can not live up to it as it has not existed before you. And as far as I am aware, you have no prior experience.”

You could feel Kylo tense up next to you. But you answered before he could do anything. “I believe it is the Allegiant General that told me that the First Order’s ideals are based on the Empire’s success but we have learned from their mistakes.” You shook your head and spoke, “We are to strive to outlive them, to perfect what they got wrong. They failed in showing a united front with the Emperor. He had no family. How is it that families all over the galaxy were supposed to trust him? My position is to assist the Supreme Leader in any way that I can, as is all of our positions. Or would you disagree?” You waited for an answer. 

“I see the Allegiant General has been teaching you well, as a bastard son, he is doing well to live up to his father’s legacy. But all of that gives no comfort as to the lack of experience you hold, it may do you best to comfort the Supreme Leader in his bed and leave the galaxy to more experienced hands.”

You watched as Kylo stiffened at the man’s words, his body rigid and tense. His jaw clenched, and nostrils flared. You quickly turned your head and met the eye of General Hux and nodded to him. 

“Everyone please take your seats as dinner will be served,” Hux announced. 

You did your best to pull Kylo away from the senator. Trying to avoid any possible blood spilling before dinner. You wanted to get through this thing as quickly as possible and return back to the safety of your chambers. 

Kylo took his seat at the head of the table. You were seated to his right and thankfully Hux was seated to his left. You watched as one of the few faces you knew before this dinner sat next to you, Admiral Frantis Griss. You were thankful, but much to your dismay Pryde sat next to Hux, and next to him was Senator Apolin, Senator Slenic, and Ambassador Gakon. 

Being seated at the table, you noticed for the first time that you were one of the few women. Most of them being wives of various officials and officers. Even though you were in a society that was supposed to be more advanced than your own, you were still outnumbered by men. Many of whom looked down upon women of your position as no more than bed warmers for their more powerful mates. 

Kylo was watching you as you made this realization, you couldn’t tell if he was searching your thoughts yet but he gave a toast to the attendees. He stood, “This dinner tonight is held in honor of Lady Ren who sits here next to me. Today marks the first day that we step out of the shadows of the Empire. We have learned from the mistakes of the Empire—they were too lenient. We are better. We are making strides in the wake of their fall. Succeeding where they have failed. The first major step in doing that is by having a role like hers. A role that is compassionate to the people, one that shows our people's kindness. Something the Empire has failed to do. A role that will provide an example to our people, the way we are to live. A perfect role model for our citizens. To Lady Ren.” He raised his glass. 

Everyone echoed and did the same. You flushed at the gesture of faith in you. You gave a quiet, “Thank you,” to the table as he sat back down. 

You had no idea what to make of his words, his insistence on you being a role model for First Order citizens. That you were supposed to lead in a way you hadn’t expected. You remembered that Kylo and Hux were supposed to sit you down and talk with you about your role. Have you missed that talk? When you were in your haze, did you miss it? Or had it yet to happen?

You met Kylo’s eyes, and you heard him, but his mouth had yet to move,

_ “We will discuss your role tomorrow morning.”  _

Your eyes went wide, he was speaking in your mind. That scared you. You looked to Hux, who sat across from you. Who shared a look at your recent discovery, and a small reassuring head nod. 

_ “Do not be afraid Kitten, this is only temporary. Too many ears to hear, eyes to see and tongues to speak. I will do what I must to protect you.”  _

The dinner had only just begun, and you were already afraid for your life. If he couldn’t freely speak to you, what danger were you in? Your heart was racing as the first course was served. You repeated the mantra in your head that dinner had only just begun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	58. The Dinner Pt. 2

You watched as the first course was served. He was still somewhere inside your head. And you watched carefully as others were watching you, waiting for you to screw up, waiting for you to make a fool of yourself. 

You looked ahead at Hux and followed his lead. Starting in on the salad that was served you mentally made sure to grab the right fork, the salad one. You watched as Kylo watched you, following your lead, as you did with the general. 

You also watched as everyone’s eyes seemed to follow your every move. Watching. Waiting. You hoped someone would break the ice for conversation. You watched as Hux and Griss shared a look across the table before Griss turned to you, “How have you been enjoying the Supremacy m’lady?” 

You shared a look with Hux and then a quick glance at Kylo before you turned to the admiral, “The Supremacy has been wonderful. It is amazing a ship this large can fly as it does.” 

From across the table, Senator Apolin chimed in, “Yes it must be a true marvel for you when you come from a planet that has only had the ability of flight for a little more than the last hundred years. It’s a wonder why you’ve been so behind.” He was testing you and your anger. 

‘Do not give in to his snide jests.’ You heard Kylo in your mind. 

“I suppose that might be it? But rather I believe it is still an amazing feat in the galaxy to have a ship this large, the last one of comparable size was the Death Star which took 19 years to build? And it had less personnel onboard? I think this ship is a great feat of engineering and should not be downplayed.” You were testing him yes. Slightly ignoring Kylo’s plea of not giving in but you couldn’t help yourself. 

You watched Apolin’s face turn into a sneer and his eye twitch before Hux chimed in. “You are right, m’lady. The Supremacy is a greater ship in many aspects. We are more capable to serve the rest of the galaxy with our resources.” You were thankful for his help, but that did not stop Apolin from trying.

“And what resources have you seen? Or have you not seen much outside the Supreme Leader’s bedroom?” He was really testing your limits now, but apparently it was not only yours that was being tested. 

“If you wish to keep your life Senator Apolin, I suggest you hold your tongue,” Kylo was clutching the salad fork in his hand so tightly it was starting to bend. 

“I was only questioning her, sir. If she is to be the role model for the First Order, she must see more of the galaxy than the ceiling of your bedroom.”

A bottle of champagne exploded somewhere near the bar. Kylo was barely holding on to his own temper. You placed a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down. 

“I hear your concern, Senator. Would you like to set up a time to observe my education with the Allegiant General? We would be more than happy to have your expert opinion on the matter,” you said, giving him a sickeningly sweet smile. 

He sat back with an astonished but pleased look on his face. You were giving him the opportunity to look at how you were to be educated. An olive branch of sorts. He took the bait. 

“That would be most agreeable. I shall get in contact with you in a few days as to when would work best for me.” And with that everyone seemed content to turn back to their salads and finish the course. 

And the harsh silence breaker worked. Conversations sprung up all around the table, some involved laughter while others seemed to be deep discussions. 

‘You did well, but do not disobey me like that again. I only look out for your safety.’ You looked at each other in the eyes as he spoke in your mind. 

The main course was served. You could hear pleased murmurs all around the table as the pleasant looking entrée was set before you. You turned to the admiral to have a light conversation, but you could feel as though you were being watched. You glanced over at Kylo, who was in a three-way discussion with Hux and a senator you had been introduced with earlier. None of them were watching you. Your eyes quickly darted to Pryde whose eyes were locked on you as he discussed with three men he was seated near. 

You tried to focus back on your conversation with the admiral. One of the few other females at the table, the only female that wasn’t someone’s spouse, a senator, joined in on your conversation. This made you glad. She seemed relieved at your presence as well. 

Kylo had seemed to calm down in his conversation, but then the room got eerily quieter. The conversation between Pryde and his friends had ended. Their attention seemed to be divided between you and Kylo. You watched as Pryde made a quiet remark to Apolin and then Apolin repeated it with Slenic. 

You absentmindedly reached for your glass of white wine when Slenic asked, “So when can we expect a baby?”

Your hand knocked into the glass causing it to tip, but no wine left the glass as it suspended in mid-air. Kylo was holding it with the Force as he stared directly into the eyes of Slenic. His breathing quickened, and his chin raised at the man. He looked as if he was going to devour the older man. His nostrils flared and his teeth clenched as he said, “That is information you are not privy to, Senator. I suggest that you and your dear friends keep your minds out of mine and Lady Ren’s bedroom. The next person to insinuate about such affairs will meet their death at the hand of my blade.” 

The room was silent, and you could feel the buzz of the Force around you as you were sure that everyone could. Hux grabbed your attention. He gestured to the wineglass in front of you. You picked it up from where Kylo’s Force hold on it and had it frozen. You also carefully returned the suspended spilled wine back into the glass. Not a drop made it on the table. 

Once you set the glass back down you rested a hand onto Kylo’s forearm. His head turned to you, as did his gaze. You could see the burning anger in his eyes. Like a deep fire that roared to devour anything in its path. You watched as his eyes roamed your face, and the anger dissipated slowly. As if you were rain slowly, putting out the flames. His breathing eventually returned to normal. 

You took control of the situation as you turned your head back to the female senator to ask her more about her planet. Everyone took this as a cue to return to normal. You could feel Kylo’s arm relax under your touch. Eventually, he took your hand in his as you continued to finish the main course. 

It didn’t take long afterward for dessert to be served. You could see many of the faces around the table lift at the presence of it. You did not know if it was because everyone was excited about dessert or if they were excited for the dinner to be almost over. Again small conversations continued around the table. 

Once dessert was finished Hux invited everyone to have a digestif. You all got up from the table, Kylo wrapped his arm around your waist. You both then walked to the bar where you were handed glasses of wine. “Alderaan sherry wine, this one is particularly good after dinner,” he whispered into your ear. 

Everyone seemed to mingle pleasantly for the most part. Kylo guided you to the large bay window, which jutted out slightly from the wall. You both stood there watching the stars as the rest of your guests mingled about. You rested your head on his shoulder, content with listening to his breathing. 

Hux approached you both, “That went over better than I thought.” He sipped his wine as he looked out into the vastness of space. 

You glanced over your shoulder to the rest of the room. Watching as people slowly started to depart. “How so,” you asked.

“Well, no one died for starters. And you may have figured out a way to pacify Senator Apolin. And the Supreme Leader and I were able to negotiate another deal with one of our biggest steel providers. All in all, tonight went well. You did very well, m’lady.” He bowed his head towards you. 

“Thank you for the compliment, general. I am also glad no one died tonight. I would hate to have to explain to Adlez why there would be blood on my dress,” you joked. The general returned a small huff of amusement and a smile. 

“If someone would have died, you would be the last person in the room with blood on their clothes. I would see to it,” deadpanned Kylo. 

This caused a warm reaction from both you and the general. You leaned up to Kylo’s ear and responded with a velvety voice, “Yes, but I would also hate for there to be blood on your clothes. You look so good and knowing you if there were to be anything on you, that you would give it to me. Seeing as you can’t keep your hands off of me.” 

Kylo pulled you fully against his chest and said, “You’re right, I can’t.” He then leaned down to give you a very passionate kiss, one that sent a spark through your veins. 

“Now, now you two know the rules. Keep it appropriate or I’ll be forced to separate you two,” said Hux, laughing into his wine. 

Kylo broke the kiss and glared at him silently. 

Hux responded, “Don’t look at me like that, it is only until you get married.” You could hear his eyebrows lift in his voice as he teased Kylo, even if you couldn’t see his face as your back was turned to him.

Kylo just grunted in response as a waiter came and took your empty glasses away. His hand then came to your face as he chastely kissed you. “Shall we turn in for the night,” he asked you.

You simply nodded in response as he took your arm in his. You gave your goodbye and goodnight to the general as Kylo escorted you back to your chambers. You were once again escorted by the Knights of Ren. You felt safe. 

Once inside the safety of your chambers Kylo forcefully drew you into a deep kiss. His hands digging into the meat of your ass, pushing you against him as he hungrily nipped at your bottom lip. You granted him entrance as his tongue explored the cavern of your mouth. But soon that wasn’t enough as his lips trailed down your neck and a hand came up to squeeze your breast. 

“Oh, Kitten. You have no idea what you do to me,” he groaned into the crook of your shoulder as he left a deep dark mark there. 

You playfully brought your hand to his clothed crotch. Here he vigorously bucked into your grasp. He let out a deep moan at the touch. “I think I have a pretty good idea,” you responded. 

You removed your hand and brought it up to his lips and with just a finger you pushed him back, “I am pretty sure we have an agreement to wait.” While he was entranced you were taking hold of the situation. 

He let out a frustrated groan as he ground his pelvis into your hip. Wanting more than what you were giving him. You gave him one last kiss to the lips as you pushed him off of you. You stepped around him and walked down the hall to get ready for bed. “It seems like there is another shower in your future,” you teased as you stepped into your dressing room. Just as you shut the door you heard a loud frustrated protest. 

Adlez and Olivia-Rose were already waiting for you as you sat down to be carefully undone from the dinner. “I see you are willing to tease him until you get what you want. Good girl,” said Adlez proudly. 

Olivia-Rose openly laughed along. It didn’t take them all that long to get you ready for bed. Adlez chose another rather demure nightgown, which you happily agreed with. Once finished you dismissed them as you took a few moments to moisturize yourself once more. Content at looking at your reflection in the vanity. 

Once you were satisfied with your soft skin, you got up and stepped out into the hall. You made your way to the bedroom and you could hear the shower running from the open bathroom door. “Tease,” you muttered as you crawled into bed. A moment or two later you heard the water shut off. You expected him to appear with his towel around his hips like before, but you were wrong. 

He appeared with the towel, yes. But it was in his hands as he roughly dried his hair. He wore nothing to cover himself. He flipped his hair back with a cheeky smirk as he dropped the towel to the floor. His smirk widened as he strode toward the bed. His full glory on display. 

You let out a squeak as he climbed up next to you. Your heart rate racing and blush spread all over. “If I remember right our agreement was hands above clothes, but that doesn’t matter if there are none. And I have agreed to wait, to let you initialize when we will… make love, but nowhere in that agreement did I ever agree to be fully clothed. In fact, I rather enjoy sleeping naked. Don’t you agree, Kitten?”

You clutched your hands to your heart in an attempt to keep your hands where you could see them so they didn’t wander off on their own. His hands, however, roamed your body as they usually did, but your face was molten lava at this point.

You couldn’t help it when your eyes glanced down at him as it is a very large thing to avoid, but oh so prominent. He scooted in closer; it came to rest against your outer thigh. You squeezed your legs shut at the touch. You closed your eyes for a moment before letting your hands wander his wide bare chest. “Yes, you can be naked all you want but I would like to go to bed, goodnight.” You gave him a quick kiss before turning on your side and closing your eyes. 

His hands continued to roam your body, and he sucked on your collar bone for a minute or two before you scolded, “I said goodnight.”

He let out a huff as he rolled his hips into your ass, abandoning your collarbone before he settled down. You slowly drifted off into sleep. 

For the first time in a week, your dreams were different. Something new. This time you were able to fully see a face staring back at you. A woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	59. Dreams

You looked at her face. She was beautiful with her angular features and smooth skin. Her heart-shaped face gave way to her large brown eyes. Her skin was peppered with freckles, and her high brows framed her face. She was rather breathtaking to look at, goddess-like, but something in your gut told you not to trust her.

She had been the woman who kept appearing before your target during your target practice, one that you were glad to shoot. Shot right through her heart. You could hear her now. 

“You’re making him more into a monster.”

Her words confused you. Was she talking about Kylo?

“He’s killing him, you know? He’s killing Ben.”

How did she know that? How did she know who Ben was, who Kylo was? 

“He needs to come home, and you need to let him go. He is turning into a monster, but I can save him. You need to let him go.”

Thoughts swirled around in your brain trying to figure out who she was. She obviously wasn’t his mother, no she was too young. He hadn’t mentioned a sister. Or any childhood friend of any significance. You struggled to figure out who she was until it hit you. She must be  _ her.  _ Rey the scavenger. 

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. 

“You need to let him go. I won’t let you turn him into a monster,” her voice was bitter.

You tried to speak again, but nothing. 

“I can fix him, but you need to let him go. Ben needs to come home.” 

You were yelling when your voice finally broke through, “He isn’t yours he’s mine! He’s always been mine!” You flung your wrist at her, “I can fix him if I want to. You need to leave him alone, he isn’t yours. Anyway, what would he want with a scavenger?”

You saw her resolve flicker at the mention of her position. Anger and sadness. She glanced at your wrist, and her nostrils flared. 

“That doesn’t mean anything you know,” she pointed to your wrist. 

“If it doesn’t mean anything, then why has he searched the galaxy for me? If it doesn’t mean anything then why isn’t he with you? It means something. It means something to him and there is nothing you can say or do about it that will change his mind.” You could see by the way her facade flickered that what you were saying was true. Even if she didn’t want to believe it. 

“His mother wants him home.” That was all she could say. 

“Is this the same woman who has been contacting me in my dreams? Been affecting me so? Causing a rift between me and him. I’ve seen some of his memories. Her abandoning him. Why would he go back? Especially when you call him a monster?”

You could see the horror on her face, you knew what you were saying was true, even though when it left your lips you weren’t sure. Her reaction cemented the truth.

“You both call him by the name he wishes to forget. The name that he says isn’t strong enough. What did you do so wrong that made him want to kill Ben? Why isn’t Ben strong enough?”

The look on her face said it all. 

“You don’t have an answer. Well, I do. If you come near him, I will kill you even if it kills me. You, his mother, his father, and Skywalker have harmed him enough. You have killed Ben, he is just putting him out of his misery. You can’t have him, he is mine.” You were seeing red as you bared your teeth to her. Who does she think she is, trying to take him from you? 

Before you could say anything more, there was a pressure behind your ear. And then you felt someone climb over you. You opened your eyes to be greeted by Kylo’s creamy neck. 

He released his hold on the back of your ear. You glanced down at the rest of him, which was still naked. “Good morning, Kitten,” he said as he pushed his bare pelvis into yours. His hands now trapping your arms to either side of your head. 

Your dream temporarily is forgotten as you had  _ nirvana _ pinning you down. “Do you want to join me at training this morning,” his groin tantalizingly grinding into you. His lips then attacked your neck, not relenting until you answered. 

“No, you can play with your knights all by yourself,” you teased. 

He narrowed his eyes at you as he released his hold on your arms. He propped himself up on his elbows and dropped his head as he started to kiss down your chest, “Mmm what if I want to play with you Kitten?”

He continued to kiss as he reached the crevice of breasts, his nose tucked between them perfectly as he pushed your neckline down so he could kiss the bare skin hidden there. You took your free hands and grabbed his hair and brought his head up out of your chest. His face scrunched in disappointment before you nose kissed. “No, you have got work you have to do.” 

You rolled your hips up into his, his hands came to hold your hips. You could feel the problem that was arising because of your teasing. You just smirked at his frustrated groan. You kissed him before you pushed him off and got up. You smoothed down your nightgown and just looked at him with a smirk before you headed to the dressing room. Before the door shut to your little sanctuary you heard the bathroom door shut. Problem solved, you thought. 

You weren’t in the room more than two minutes before Adlez and Olivia-Rose walked in.

“I hear the shower running before his morning workout. Is there something you would like to share,” asked Adlez as she jokingly batted her eyes at you.

Both you and Olivia-Rose giggled at her antics. “Maybe, you know how a week ago, Kylo was cheeky about using the shower before bed?”

Adlez’s face broke out into a smirk, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Praise the Supreme Leader. Did he climb into bed without any clothes on like a naughty boy?” 

The last part caught you off guard, “Adlez!” You gawked at her, shocked at her choice of words.

She shook her head at you, “You have so many things to learn, m’lady.” 

While you were surprised Olivia-Rose acted as if this was a normal occurrence, and it might be seeing as they were around each other much more than around you. 

“Don’t worry m’lady I have no interest in taking the Supreme Leader from you, however, his knights are a completely different story.” 

You smirked at her. “Even Cardo?”

“I could make him be a good obedient boy in no time.” She whacked one of your combs in her palm. A glint in her eyes told you she wasn’t kidding. 

“Well, when I first met them Kylo said they were all single so go for it. General Hux also mentioned that my influence on them might teach them some manners, but I believe you might be able to do that more effectively.” 

The smirk widened as she winked at you through the mirror. She put your hair into a more elaborate style than normal.

“Today is your first official day as First Lady. Are you excited,” asked Olivia-Rose. She was the quieter of the two but she brought a nice balance to your group.

You sat stunned for a moment. Between Kylo’s flirting and your dream, you had forgotten that today was your first day on the job so to speak. “Is it? Wait, what time is it?” You tried to crane your head around to look at the clock but Adlez grabbed your head and straightened it forward. 

“Earlier than you are used to. We are here a whole two hours early. As we will be every day from now on. No more sleeping in. You shall get up when the Supreme Leader does. You shall be prepped during his training, and you will eat breakfast together from now on. After that, you shall do your duties in the morning, shall take lunch meetings and after lunch, you shall have your lessons as normal until you are finished with them,” said Adlez firmly. The look on her face said that she was prepping you for war. 

Once Olivia-Rose was done with your makeup Adlez moved you to the armoire, “From now on if you are expected to have meetings in the morning or during lunch you shall have to wear a dress. No compromising. You must look your best.” She then started to put you in your [ dress](https://www.givenchy.com/us/en-US/short-dress-in-crepe-de-laine-with-graphic-neckline/BW20V710EG-001.html?cgid=DAY_DRESS_W#start=1) of the day. 

“Now let me look at your nails, we can’t have you looking any less than perfect on your first day,” said Adlez. Apparently, they were up to inspection as looked over them. “Your daily maintenance will be a much bigger ordeal. While technically the Supreme Leader is the face of the First Order, you are much more. He hides his face behind a mask, but yours is open for anyone to see. So it must be as perfect as we can get it.” 

You had never thought of it that way. Kylo got to hide behind his mask and his black armor. You were exposed for the galaxy to see. You had no mask to hide behind. You were vulnerable at that moment with them, Adlez seemed to take notice. 

“Do not worry m’lady, I will be the second to slash anyone’s throat who dares to criticize you, the first being the Dark Lord himself.” 

Her declaration reassured you for a moment. You knew there would be many more struggles ahead of you as the First Lady, but you knew people had your back for the most part, even if you would have to face some battles yourself.

You stepped out of the dressing room, hearing the shower turn off in the bathroom as you waited for a few moments before entering the dining room. The lieutenant was already in his usual seat as you sat down. You told him good morning as a fully dressed Kylo entered the room. 

He stopped to give you a kiss before he took his seat next to you at the head of the table. Olivia-Rose and Adlez then filed in. You and Kylo took your breakfast together as the others quietly mingled. 

“Would you like to go over today’s schedule m’lady,” asked Lieutenant Mitaka. 

“Yes, please,” you answered simply. Used to the monotony of it all. 

“You have your meeting with the Supreme Leader and Allegiant General this morning to go over your role. After that, you will be joining them and members of the High Command for a lunch meeting. To which afterward you then have your lesson with the Allegiant General and then dinner with the Supreme Leader.” 

Today was practically a whole day with General Hux and a whole day with  _ Kylo.  _ You bit your lip as memories of your dream came back to you. You wondered when you should bring it up to him or if he already knew. After all, he could see into your mind when he wanted to, right? Your mind was no longer just yours to inhabit. He was there too somewhere. 

His eyes flickered to you as if he knew that you were thinking about him. 

_ ‘What is it, Kitten?’ _

So he hadn’t been in your mind just now?

_ ‘No.’ _

Are you only here when you want to be? 

_ ‘Yes, unless you would like me here all the time? Because that can be arranged.’  _

The image of the woman flickered in your brain, asking who she was.

His face scrunched up in confusion and anger. You started to replay the dream, and his eyes began searching your face for something. 

_ ‘She cannot harm you, I will not allow it. I will stop her from entering your dreams.’ _

It was your turn to search his face. You could see the frustration and anger there, and the tiny bits of worry that clung around the edges. He said he would protect you. That he would keep her away from you. And you believed him. 

You closed your eyes as you sent more of your dreams to him. This time he spoke out loud but not to you, “Out,” he commanded the others. You opened your eyes to the order. 

They were confused, but they obeyed the order. You could see the worry on all of their faces. 

Kylo brought his hand to the side of your face, “Show me,” he whispered. 

You closed your eyes once more as you drew the dreams from your memories. When you got to the one with the man, woman, and child his breath hitched. You could feel the hold on your mind waver for a moment. You opened your eyes for a split second and you saw a tear fall down his cheek. His eyes were closed. 

You closed your eyes again, showing him the desert planted dream. Showing him and her, and how it hurt your heart. “That is a lie,” you heard him say out loud. 

“She believes it will be true,” you said back. Your heart aching for him. 

“I know, but it won’t be. Not when I am so close to killing him.” You could feel the grief crash in waves off of him. Your breaths syncing together.

You then showed him the dream on the grass planet. The one where it was just you and him, you always waking up before you could fully reach him. The one where your dream would end with you waking up to him. The waves of grief calmed, as you showed your memories of you waking up to him. 

Kylo then pulls you into his lap, burying his face into the crook of your neck as you pet his hair to comfort him. After a few minutes of just holding you, you say, “There is just one more.” 

You then show him the dream of you on a throne with the large black dog with the scar. The one with the long black shaggy hair and the chain around its neck. 

Kylo kissed the crook of your neck and then said, “That will be us one day. You on the throne, me being the dog that worships at your feet. Your protector.”

You took his face in your hands, looking him in the eyes, “But I don’t want that. I just want you and me together and happy. I don’t need anything more.” 

He pushed forward and kissed you, leaning his forehead against yours, “But you deserve the galaxy. And I will give it to you.” Another kiss graced your lips. This one held on for moments. Eventually, his hands came to rest on your hips as he said, “We have to meet with Hux. It is one step closer to you becoming an empress, Kitten. So we best get to it.” 

You slid off his lap and moved so he could stand. You could still feel his hold on your mind as you left the dining room and headed upstairs to your meeting. You wondered how long he would stay in there, holding the most intimate part of you. Part of you didn’t want to find out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	60. First Lady

The general was waiting for you as you both sat down. Kylo and the general sat opposite of you. The lieutenant came up to join you. The general looked at Kylo, who nodded and began, “We are here to discuss your duties as First Lady of the First Order. An inaugural role that has not been done before in the history of the galaxy.” 

He paused to make sure you were paying attention and understanding the gravity of the position. You nodded to signal him to continue. 

“As the First Lady of the First Order, you have many duties, some more obvious than others. First, you act as the identity of the First Order, the face in which our people will rely upon and trust. You are the focus of unity and pride. The person who gives a sense of stability and continuity to the First Order. You are the official recognition for success and excellence. And you are to support the ideal of voluntary service.” 

You were to be the complete face of the First Order. Not Kylo, who is hidden behind his mask, but you. “So you are asking me to be like the queen of England,” you asked trying to make sense of your role.

“Yes, in many ways, except you have actual power when you want it. While she is unable to make decisions for the United Kingdom in its entirety, as that power now belongs to parliament, you do. The only person who can override your decisions is the Supreme Leader himself.”

You watched as Kylo nodded along to what the general was saying. 

“You shall be in charge of official First Order Social events like the formal dinner that we just had, and ceremonial events like commissioning of new destroyers and bases. You shall present titles of high honor within the First Order Military, and any civilian titles. You may also preside over military ceremonies such as remembrances of historic galactic battles, and major retirements.”

Your eyes grew wide at the list of things you would be responsible for. The general could see the look of hesitation on your face as you were processing everything. 

“Of course you won’t have to do everything alone. You shall have a team of people to help you, one of which is the lieutenant,” he then gestured to Mitaka sitting next to you. “And a few others, you shall not have to handle everything yourself, but you will essentially be supervising it all. You will also be handling many correspondences which will go through your team, and you will be a patron of many charities. We will need to announce a charity today as a start. That is a decision we can make together, so you do not have to make it alone.” 

You sat back in your chair as you started to process everything. Your life has shifted from working a 9-5 job, to doing very little with your time, to now being a head of state all in the matter of a month. Less than a month ago you were wondering who Kylo Ren was and now you were to be leading the largest government in the galaxy with him. Leading a group of people you had no idea existed. Being a face to the galaxy when you were perfectly content to just be friends with your match and living a life alone. 

You felt his hold on your mind once more, the worry that you felt dissipated. You don’t know whether or not you should be comforted by this or horrified. He was in your mind messing with things. 

_ ‘There is nothing to be afraid of Kitten. You will do great. This is one of the big steps in becoming an empress, my empress.’ _

Something about the way he said that you would be his empress made your belly warm. A spark of desire to be something powerful to him. 

You could feel his tendrils of hold swirling with that desire in your mind. Playing with it, caressing it. You closed your eyes at the feeling, your body welcoming the touch. The tiny rational portion of your mind was screaming, but the feeling was so nice that you ignored her. 

You felt a hand touch your face, which shocked you out of your bliss. It was Kylo’s hand. His eyes told you that he was just as spellbound as you were. 

Both the lieutenant and the general didn’t seem to know what to make of the moment as they both shared a confused face at both of your actions. 

Kylo’s hand caressed your cheek before he withdrew it. His eyes never leaving yours. No words were spoken between you, not even in your mind, but you knew what just happened changed something. 

You could almost hear the rational part of your brain whimper in pain at being ignored, whimper because of his grip on your consciousness. That rational part being afraid at what just occurred, but the rest of your existence being overjoyed at it. You could feel the tendrils recede slightly and the rational part slowly coming out of the corner that it had been backed into. Still very much afraid of the dark mass that just took over. 

The general spoke first, “M’lady shall we go over what will need to be decided today?” He hesitantly looked between you and Kylo, trying to figure out your next course of action. 

Without breaking eye contact with Kylo, you responded, “Yes. I think will be best.” You examined Kylo’s face as if it were a rare piece of art. Going over every last detail.

“We should decide what charity you should patron first. Is there anything, in particular, that strikes an interest in you m’lady? Any topic that you would prefer?” You could hear some unease in his voice as you failed to look at him. Your eyes still locked on Kylo. 

You could feel the tendrils shift as a thought presented itself, “Something for abused or neglected children.” You watched as Kylo’s eyes phantom fluttered for a moment. His eyes then roaming your face as yours did his. 

Both of your breathing is in sync. Two halves of a whole as his hold on your mind made itself at home. The tendrils tucking themselves in the corners of your skull, occasionally skimming your brain when needed, but mostly just there watching. 

“There are many orphanages throughout the galaxy shall I choose one for you,” asked Hux with his voice wavering. You could hear how uncomfortable the whole situation between you and Kylo was making him. You could not see nor hear the lieutenant, but you guessed that he was worse than the well-seasoned general.

Kylo answered for you, “Yes.” 

You heard the general stand, “Well sir, m’lady we best be off to our luncheon. There is much to discuss.” 

Kylo stood first, holding out his hand for you to take. Which you did. He then tucked your arm under his. Never breaking eye contact as you walked down the stairs and to the entrance of your chambers. You paused as Kylo put on his helmet, breaking your stare and trance. He then faced forward as you walked down the winding halls to the conference room. 

You entered arm in arm with Kylo; he guided you to your seat, you never took your eyes off of him. Still enrapt in a trance. He walked with power around the room as he reached the head of the table where he chose to stand. 

All around you were the High Command members, most of whom were holograms as they holocommuted in. Luckily for you, Pryde was also holocummuting in. You were relieved at his lack of physical presence. You also noted that there were several other officers standing along the opposite wall to you. 

Kylo addressed the room, “Today is Lady Ren’s official first day as First Lady of the First Order,” he paused and you could hear a small applause coming from the High Command, both those who were physically present and those who weren’t. “She has many responsibilities in her new role, you are to do what she asks of you as if it was an order from me.”

You watched as chins raised in acknowledgment. You could see that some were not happy about having another person ruling over them. Kylo sensed this too as his head cut to an older male admiral, “I sense unease Admiral Berand.”

What shocked you was that the man wasn’t even here, he was holocommuting. Were Kylo’s Force abilities that strong?

“No, sir,” said the admiral. 

You watched as Kylo marched around the room and came up next to the holo projection of the man. Even though they were technically a galaxy apart, the admiral shrank away from Kylo. “Good, keep your thoughts under control or I will do it for you.”

You could feel the tendrils in your own mind flex with excitement. They apparently wanted the admiral to mess up, so they could arrange his thoughts for him. 

Kylo then spoke again addressing the room, “You have all given candidates for Lady Ren’s staff. Her chief of staff will be Dopheld Mitaka, now a captain, but there still remains her press secretary, correspondence secretary, social secretary, her advisor, and her spokesperson. Five positions to fill. And after General Hux’s initial weeding of the candidates, there are 15 applicants. We shall now proceed with the filling of positions.” Kylo then gestured to the Allegiant General to start. Hux then waited patiently for your signal, waiting until you were ready. 

You broke your gaze from staring at Kylo to look to your side. You gestured to Mitaka to come forward and join you by your side. Which he gladly did. You then nodded to the general to commence the application process.

You picked out your press secretary, social secretary, advisor, and spokesperson with ease. You took into account the opinions of Kylo, Hux and Mitaka. The final position of the correspondence secretary was being considered.

Unfortunately, Pryde’s recommendation was still in the running. The young officer that he had put forward as an applicant gave off similar vibes to the man himself. Almost a younger version of himself. You quickly denied his choice. The officer had a look of disappointment and anger on his face as he was forced to step back. You could tell your decision also displeased Pryde as you had a feeling that this officer was going to be some sort of informant to him.

Across the room, you could see Kylo’s body stiffen as he was probably monitoring both men’s thoughts. He barked at the officer to get out and to return to the  _ Steadfast  _ as he was no longer needed here. You watched as he left the room. He was the only rejected officer that was asked to leave before the meeting was over. 

Next up was General Parnadee’s choice, a nice young lieutenant with a kind face. Parnadee introduced her, as the other generals did with their recommendations, “This is Lieutenant Amala Graven. She has an impeccable memory. The ability to recall voices and has a knack for routines. She is quiet but very decisive when it comes to printed languages. She has been my trusted personal secretary for two years and I can think of no one better for the position of correspondence secretary.” 

From what you knew of Parnadee, even after entrusting your home planet to her, you knew that if she was recommending someone, especially someone, she trusts that you should highly consider the person. You then looked over her file, which was a clean record. She came highly recommended from the academy and she had been promoted quickly into Parnadee’s trusted and highly coveted secretary position.

After sharing a look with Mitaka, you made your decision. You looked at the female lieutenant in the eyes and said, “I believe you will make an excellent correspondence secretary and I would be honored if you would join my staff.” 

The lieutenant thanked you and joined the group of others that had been selected. Your attention then shifted back to Kylo as he dismissed them and Mitaka while you were to have the luncheon portion of your meeting. 

Everything went by rather smoothly after that, Hux telling those who holocommuted in that they were free to go as no official business was going to be discussed. You were thankful because you were sick of Pryde’s holo eyes watching your every move. 

You watched as slowly every hologram was disconnected. Pryde getting in one last final creepy stare before disconnecting. You were relieved when Kylo took a seat next to you instead of his official unused one across from you. 

You were in a large conference room filled with only a few generals and admirals. Lunch was served and Kylo relented in taking off his helmet so he could join you as you ate. Small pleasant discussions popped up around you. The Allegiant General giving his opinion here and there to the different conversations. 

Meanwhile, you and Kylo ate in a comfortable silence between you two. There seemed no need to say anything as you could feel the tendrils exploring your mind. Seeing how far they could go before hitting a wall or turning around. You could feel them warmly caressing your happiest memories and completely covering those that caused you pain. You felt light-headed but in a way that didn’t make you sick, but as if a weight had been relieved from your consciousness. 

You felt as if you could stay in this moment forever. But soon you would have your lesson with the general and soon you would have to move on with real life. But for now, you chose to be stuck in this moment. This little piece of forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	61. The Hold on Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slight Dubious Consent

You, Kylo, and Hux went back to your chambers. The little piece of forever being left in that conference room. You entered and Kylo removed his helmet, giving you a kiss before he left to go take care of some other matter. Leaving you with Hux, Mitaka, and your new staff. 

You all got situated upstairs in the large lounge space. Hux spoke to them for you, “As you all know these positions are highly coveted and are highly important to the First Order. You shall all need to be careful with who you discuss things with outside each other. Lady Ren’s safety comes first and foremost as decreed by the Supreme Leader. This shall be reflected in your behavior.” 

You watched as he slowly looked each staff member in the eye, to prove his point. “If you have any concerns about your position ever, you can make them known to Captain Mitaka, Lady Ren, the Supreme Leader, or myself. I ask that you follow proper hierarchy chains at all times when applicable. You six will also be in close proximity to her ladies-in-waiting, it is up to Lady Ren to decide if they are to help you in your positions or not. But note that they may be privy to much of the information in this group, but there might also be information that may need to be kept from them.” 

You watched as slowly every single staff member nodded in agreement with the general. And you watched him carefully analyze each reaction. 

Your mind drifted off to Kylo. He was somewhere on the ship. After a few seconds of thinking about him, you could feel the tendrils start to stir and caress your mind. They were happy that he was on your mind, that you were thinking of him. You heard the general say your name, which snapped you out of your mini daydream. 

“Lady Ren is there anything you would like to add?”

You looked at him, wondering how long you were not paying attention. “No, but if I think of anything, you will all be informed.” 

The general stared at you for a moment before speaking to them again, “You all shall need to review [ FM 22-100 Military Leadership 1965](https://archive.org/details/FM22-100_201211/mode/2up) tonight before you report for duty tomorrow morning. Captain Mitaka will always be the first one on call for Lady Ren, but you all must be prepared too, at any hour.” They were all then dismissed except for Mitaka as he was to stay with you through your lesson. 

“I shall have your press secretary write up a press release announcing your first patronage, it should be sent to you by the end of today. But for now, let us continue with your education. We have spoken about diplomacy, and I believe you have expressed interest to the Supreme Leader that you may want examples from your own people, versus ones from the Empire. Is this correct?”

You don’t remember ever discussing this with Kylo, but then you felt the tendrils shift, a sign that he probably found it in your mind without having to ask. Before the rational part of your mind could raise alarm to this, one of the tendrils smothered it. 

“Yes, I apologize general, I just feel as if I would connect better to examples from my own peoples’ history versus people and history that is still too new to me.” You weren’t lying, galactic history still confused you, there was too much of it. Too many people are involved over too wide of an area for you to really make sense of it all. 

“Yes, I have done some searching and have modified much of my initial lesson plans to accommodate this. For the rest of the evening, you shall be watching  _ The King’s Speech _ while you don’t have any speech impediment it will serve you well for when you will need to address an entire assembly of people, not just a meeting room.” 

You then spent the rest of your tutoring time watching the movie, you watched as Captain Mitaka occasionally asked you what pieces of technology were. Being that the film was set back right before World War II much of the technology on your planet that he had come into contact with had changed. You also explained some other differences to him while he made important notes. 

Once the movie was over the general informed you that he would see you tomorrow during a luncheon meeting again, and the captain informed you that he would see you in the morning. 

You all headed downstairs together as you bid them goodbye for the evening. You watched them leave and then headed to your dressing room where you called upon your ladies-in-waiting. 

Both of them came to prepare you for dinner, Adlez insisting that you should change again as the Supreme Leader had already seen that dress this morning and that a change wouldn’t hurt anything. You relented as you could feel the tendrils caressing your brain at the mention of his name. 

Once changed you sat in front of the vanity, watching yourself. This made the tendrils the happiest they had been all day. You could feel them dance around your skull, caressing and stroking as they moved around. You slowly allowed them to feel more of your mind and to see more of your memories. They carefully handled the happy ones while they caused the painful ones to disappear. 

You got up to head to dinner, a doll’s smile painted on your face. A blissful sense of security caused by the tendrils hold on your mind. You waited for a few moments for Kylo; the tendrils getting more excited the closer he got to you. 

When he entered your chambers and took off his helmet, you could feel them trying to leap out of your head. This caused you to involuntarily jerk forward. Kylo caught you in his arms, “Excited to see me Kitten?”

If you thought the tendrils were happy earlier nothing could compare to how they were acting now. Especially when his lips found yours. The tendrils caused your brain to go numb, which caused your legs to give out under you. Kylo held you close to him as this happened. His lips crossing over your cheek as he then whispered into your ear, “I am excited to see you too Kitten. Shall we go eat before we play?” 

You nodded dumbly in response, words failing you as your mind was numb from his touch, both physically and whatever he was doing with his hold on your mind. 

He then bridal carried you to the dining room. Only after trying to drag you with him for a second, while your legs failed you. Setting you down in your seat he gave you a long deep kiss before taking his seat. 

Dinner went by with no discussion. Both of you content to stare longingly into each other’s eyes. He then stood and took your hand, your legs finally working again. You made your way to the bedroom, your mind still fully entranced by him. 

He sat on the edge of the bed while he beckoned you to him. You numbly and happily obliged by straddling him. Your hands wound in his hair as you began to devour his lips in kisses. Feverishly kissing him as if he was your life force and you were a dying man, holding on to your last bit of strength. Consuming him like oxygen. 

The tendrils numbing your brain; you had no idea where you ended and where he began. Everything blending together in some sort of euphoric haze. You felt his hands skimming up the side of your thighs pushing your dress up. His hands were then behind your back, unzipping it. Soon your dress was over your head and then somewhere on the floor. 

His tendrils dance in your skull, keeping your mind occupied while his hands dance over your now bare flesh. He was fully clothed, but you were stripped down to your undergarments. In a much more intimate position than you had ever been in with him. 

You felt his hands wander over the bare skin on your back and slowly caressing your bare stomach. His hands mapping out your skin, you sucked on his lower lip as he then fell back. You were over him as he laid back on the bed. You felt his hands come up and hold your face as they moved your hair to the side. Exposing your bra strap to him. As he slid that down your arm, and his other hand caressing your still clothed heat you felt alarms go off in your brain. 

The rational part of your brain fighting back against the tendrils that threatened to take over, that threatened to pacify you, to make you numb. To make you obedient to all his wishes. You felt your brain kick into overdrive. The rational part started alerting the rest of your brain as to what was happening. You broke the kiss; you moved away from the hand that was pushing down your bra strap; you took hold of the hand that was caressing your crotch.

It took all of your willpower to choke out, “Get out of my head.” 

His face was unfazed by your actions, his dark eyes analyzing your new reaction to all of this. “But Kitten we were just playing.” 

Your stomach lurched with disgust, “We agreed to wait, this isn’t waiting.” 

You heard him chuckle, “I wasn’t going to do anything Kitten. We were just playing.” 

You released his hands and pushed yourself off of him, backing up off the bed. “Get out of my head.” You could feel the tendrils fighting the rational part of your brain, but she was winning this fight. 

He sat up and held his hands up. Something swirled in his dark eyes, something you couldn’t place. “Alright, I admit I was having too much fun during our playtime. There is nothing to be afraid of, Kitten. I will never harm you. So I will do as you wish.”

You felt the tendrils surrender within your mind, shrinking and backing away from your brain. Seeming to disappear into the corners of nothingness. You looked at him for a moment before grabbing your discarded dress. “I am going to get ready for bed,” you announce.

You then walked into your dressing room and shut the door. You got yourself ready for bed, not wanting to face the questions from Adlez and Olivia-Rose. You spent a long moment staring at your reflection in your vanity, staring into your own eyes as a single tear fell. You stared for a moment longer before leaving the sanctuary of your dressing room and heading to bed. 

You heard the shower run, and the door to the bathroom was open once more. You ignored it as you climbed into bed. Begging that sleep would take you soon. But alas Kylo was finished with his shower before that could happen. You ignored him as he walked into the room, the same as the night before with no towel around his waist, forgoing any sense of modesty. 

He crawled into bed like that, crawling up to you and placing a kiss on your exposed shoulder. His hands beginning to wander over your clothed body, “I would like to go to sleep,” you said to him. 

He paused for a few seconds before running his hand through your hair, “As you wish.” 

You then felt blackness take over as you drifted off into sleep. You hoped tonight would be a night of pleasant peaceful dreams, but of course, it was not.

Your blackness swirled to meet a face you were not entirely familiar with, but one that seemed recognizable to you. As you had seen her in many different forms throughout your dreams since you met Kylo. The older woman who called his name. The woman you assumed to be his mother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	62. Dreams Again

You were in the house that the young boy was left all alone in; you assume it was Kylo’s childhood home. 

She didn’t speak at first. The older woman, she invited you to sit with her. She silently offered you tea, which you accepted. You watched each other. 

“You are probably wondering why I brought you here. Why we are speaking now.” Her voice had a feminine leathery sort of sound, calm but aged in a way that you know she has been through a lot. 

You simply nodded, not knowing if your voice was going to work or not. 

“I fear for my son, Ben. You know him as Kylo, a creature of his own construction. I know of his plans, his plans to kill Ben, to kill the light within him, and thus the need to kill me. This I know to be my fate.” She looked down into her own cup of tea, not meeting your eyes before continuing. “Ben was once a happy boy, before Kylo, before everything went wrong. His father and I may not have been the best parents, but know that we loved him, that I still love him.” 

She was quiet for a while, staring into her cup. You could feel the emotions coming off of her in soft waves. 

You attempted to speak, putting in a bit of effort, “What is your name?” You had yet to learn of either of Kylo’s parents. You now had a face, but you wanted a name. 

“Leia,” she then looked at you in the eyes. Which were filled with grief, “Your name has always brought him comfort. Since he was old enough to understand what was on his wrist. Something his father and I could never do after sending him away.” She paused for a moment. You could see her holding back tears. “We thought we were doing what was best. Now I know we were wrong. His father was afraid there was too much of my father in him, but I know better now. Ben is good, but Kylo is not. You need to believe me.” 

You were confused by her words. “You sent your only son away? Why?” If Kylo wasn’t going to give you answers, you were going to try to get them from her. 

“My brother, Luke was a Jedi. He was taught the ways of the Force, he taught me. Once the Empire had fallen, we felt it was safe enough to start the Jedi Order again. So Luke opened up a temple. To train those who are strong in the Force to be able to use it. Ben was one of them. He was unstable at times, I couldn’t teach him, so we sent him to train with my brother. He was young, too young, I know that now. He felt that we had abandoned him, but that was never my intention.”

Before she could continue you interjected, “But it wasn’t the first time you had abandoned him, was it?” You recalled the dream that you had. The one that also took place in this house, the one with the boy. 

She looked shocked. Probably wondering how you knew such a thing. “We never meant to. His father and I loved each other, but we weren’t good for each other, not in the long run. We were matches, but we worked better as separates together than we did as a couple. We were the people who worked out better as platonic soulmates versus romantic. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love him, I did, but we were healthier apart.” 

You wondered if this was an omen for your own relationship, would Kylo and you ever work out? Or would you bring a child into existence and not realize where your fates lied until it was too late.“So you sent him away, then what?” 

“He was trained by his uncle but influenced by another. Influenced by Snoke who turned him to the dark side, like my father before him. He tormented him into thinking that we were the ones that were wrong.”

“But weren’t you? You said it yourself, you sent him away. You abandoned him. You raised him in an unhealthy household. I have felt some of his pain. Things you have caused. Things that I now must fix, must mend to make him whole again.” You were fighting back both tears and anger now. She may be his mother, one who loves him, but she has caused him so much pain, pain you doubted that you could heal.

“I just want my son to come home. I want him to know I still love him. That I forgive him for what he has done. I just want him home.”

You stared at her, the anger now starting to take control. “So tell me. Just what has he done?” 

“He has killed both his father Han Solo and his uncle Luke Skywalker. He has killed a great many other people too. All in the name of power and the First Order. He will kill me too, in order to finally end Ben Solo.” 

Her words hit you like a bus. So she was his final task. Killing his mother was part of his plan to kill Ben Solo--to protect you. You tried to not let this faze you as you asked, “And what of Rey? What is she in all this?”

Her face eclipsed with confusion as she answered, “They are connected somehow through the Force, I do not know why. Luke did not know why. She has been helping me bring him home.”

Tears fully spilling from your eyes, the anger and heartbreak taking over your rational. Venom filling your mouth, “So you both want me gone? You both want me to step away from him? Because why? So you can attempt to fix what you have broken? To take my soulmate away from me just so you can be a happy family again? When he has explicitly said that isn’t what he wants? I don’t think so.” You stood up from the table. Ready to march out the door of this dream. 

She stopped you, “Wait. I never told Rey to try to get him to abandon you. That is her agenda. I just want my son. Please let him know I would like to see him. That I want him to come home.” 

You faced her now, “Why don’t you visit his dreams instead, I’m sure that would be more effective,” you spat. 

“I can’t, he is too strong in the Force. Your mind is weaker. And he will listen to you. Please, I want my son home.” You could tell that she could also feel the dream world shake around her. Whatever she was doing to make this happen was starting to fail now. 

You coldly met her eyes, “No, you need to listen to him. If he doesn’t want to come home, then you need to listen. You obviously didn’t respect his wishes when he was a young boy. But you need to do so now. You’ve harmed him enough. Ben wasn’t strong enough, but Kylo is.” You stormed out of the house. As the door slammed behind you the dream world dissipated. And you woke up in a cold sweat. 

Kylo was awake next to you, sitting up in a hurry, “Kitten what’s wrong?” You could hear the worry in his voice.

“I’ve just met your mother. And let’s just say things didn’t go well.” Really, the other women in his life, other than anyone in the First Order, had a real knack for pissing you off. 

He shifted next to you, “Show me.” It wasn’t a question, but a simple command. 

You both held eye contact for a moment before shutting your eyes and leaning into him. You felt his hand caress your face as you replayed the dream if you could call it that. 

His voice was stern, “Kitten?” 

You hummed in response. Wondering what he was angry about. 

“I will have to be in your mind. You are too weak to be able to protect yourself from them. I must do it, you leave me no other choice.”

Before you could respond you felt the tendrils come back in full force. This time they were no longer politely inhabiting your brain. They took up every square inch. Leaving no memory or thought untouched. You blacked out from the force of it all. 

You dreamed again, but this time it was a variation of the throne dream. You were once again sitting on a throne with the black shaggy dog. Except this time you were watching your own reflection, instead of encountering another version of yourself. 

You looked the same in the reflection, but the dog didn’t. The dog was Kylo, still with a chain around his neck, and his head in your lap. You watched as the Kylo in the reflection seemed to bask under the pets that were given to him.

You watched as in his hand out of nowhere appeared his lightsaber. He ignited it. In one quick slash, he cut his chain. You quickly looked over at the dog that was next to you, his chain still intact. You then returned your attention back to Kylo. He had removed the collar that was around his neck and disabled the lightsaber and placed it on his belt. 

You then watched as he came closer to the edge of the reflection, inspecting it. He then stepped forward through the threshold of your side. The reflection shattering behind him, like broken glass. As if he was actually trapped in a mirror. He approached you.

“Kitten, you look wonderful as an Empress.” He knelt down on one knee, taking your hand in his, kissing it. “I am unworthy to bask in your radiance. To grovel at your feet.”

You grabbed his face in your hands and brought your face to his, “Thank you Kylo, but that simply isn’t true.” You then kissed him deeply. This time you took dominance over the kiss, he submitted to your actions. 

He moaned and broke the kiss for a moment. “Kitten,” his voice purred. 

But before the dream could continue, you felt pressure behind your ear. 

“Kitten, it’s time to wake up,” called the Kylo that was based in reality. 

Your head felt as if it weighed a million pounds as you attempted to wake up. You could feel the tendrils shift as you did so. “Mmm, I don’t feel good.” 

His hand carded through your hair, you felt the weight lessen, but not completely dissipate. “You can’t stay in bed all day.”

“Why not?” You turned on your side so your back was facing him. 

“Because if you stay in bed, I’ll want to stay in bed. And then no progress gets done. And then we are that much father from you becoming Empress.” 

“You mostly want me to become Empress so I’ll have sex with you,” you huffed. 

“That isn’t the only reason. I think you would make a great Empress and that the galaxy isn’t worthy to have you rule over it.” His hands caressed down your sides, just as the tendrils caressed your mind. 

“Fine, but I want to lay in bed until Adlez and Olivia-Rose get here.” He seemed content with this answer as he got up to get ready. Leaving you alone.

Even though you weren’t fully awake, and you felt the tendrils moving about you tried to process what you learned through the night. Your mind came up short as the tendrils kept shifting. You weren’t able to complete a stable thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	63. Taking Over You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being patient with me (and all your kind messages). I needed to take a break for a few reasons, but one big one is my eyes were just too strained from looking at a screen for so long, and I can't get new glasses until the eye doctors open back up.

You heard footsteps approaching from around the corner. You did not want to open your eyes. Hoping that you had turned invisible and that you could just lie there all morning. 

“M’lady it’s time to get up, you can’t just waste away the day in bed,” said Adlez pulling back the covers. 

You groaned and turned away from her, trying your best to ignore her prompts at trying to get you up. Your head still feels weighed down, feeling like an anchor against the pillow. 

“The Supreme Leader said you weren’t feeling good, but there is too much to do m’lady you have to get up.” She was physically pulling you up now. Your body felt heavy to you as you didn’t do much to assist her. You felt as if the gravitational pull on the ship was forcing your body back to the bed. Olivia-Rose assisted her in getting you to the dressing room. 

Once there, you sat in front of the vanity as they buzzed all around you getting this or that ready and finished. The most difficult part was getting you dressed, as your body wanted nothing to do with standing up. You would rather collapse on the chaise lounge, but eventually, they had gotten you fully dressed and ready for the day. 

Heading into the dining room for breakfast was a much easier affair, although you were now joined by all of your staff. They all appeared rather pensive and nervous at the situation. You took your time ordering a spread for everyone to enjoy, not feeling bothered as to whether to ask what each individual person wanted. 

Your head was pounding as if you had the worst hangover of your life. You calmly asked Adlez if she could turn down the lights as they seemed to be aiding in the pain that you had. Your eyes felt tired and strained anytime you needed to look any farther than two feet in front of you. You felt miserable. 

“Would you like me to go over today’s schedule m’lady,” said the lieutenant, wait no it’s the captain now. He seemed a bit more confident now that he was in charge of others, but you have known him for a while. There was concern etched in the corners of his facade. You could tell that your condition was affecting not only yourself but the captain and your ladies-in-waiting, the new staff had yet to learn how you were. 

“Yes, please,” you mustered up the best smile you could while it felt as if a knife was trying to poke out your temple. You did your best to try to massage it, hoping it would relieve some built-up tension. 

“You have a meeting with your staff this morning. Starting now, or when you feel like it. This afternoon, you have a meeting with some of the High Command, to go over a direction that the First Order would like to take. And then you have your lesson with the Allegiant General. And finally dinner with the Supreme Leader.” His voice became calmer and steadier as he continued to speak. You were thankful that the captain did not have a harsh voice, as you were sure your head would burst over that. 

Looking at him but truly addressing your whole staff, “Shall we take our meeting here or would you like to be somewhere else?” None of them spoke up, they just rather looked confused at each other, probably because they were not used to being given a choice like this. 

Adlez spoke for them, “Why don’t we go to the lounge, I can have the windows and the lights dimmed so as to not progress your headache. You can also lounge up there more easily and make yourself a bit more comfortable, m’lady.” 

“Thank you, Adlez. And can you see if there is anything I can take to numb this headache, wait no migraine that I have?” You got up and with the assistance of Olivia-Rose made your way up to the lounge. You had never had a migraine quite like this before, not this excruciating anyway. 

After you made your way upstairs to the lounge, you took a place by the fire. Adlez came upstairs with a fluffy blanket, some tea, and some painkillers. You thanked her as she got you settled in. She was eyeing you like a hawk. You could probably see the worry on her face from a mile away at this point. She knew something was off. 

After you took the pain meds, you felt the tendrils plaster themselves to the bowl of your skull, no longer touching your brain, just along the bone. You could still feel the heavy weight of their existence, but they were no longer causing you throbbing pain as when they touched your gray matter. 

“What is this meeting about again,” you ask finally. You could see that all the staff seemed to be wary, they looked to Mitaka for guidance. 

“This meeting is a follow up from yesterday. We have things we all need to discuss with you and tasks that need to be completed. I believe yesterday the press release for your patronage of Chaako City orphanage was sent out,” he turned to Lieutenant Amala Graven and your press secretary to confirm this. 

“Yes, you did not approve it. I had sent it, but it didn’t get approved by you. I also sent it to the Allegiant General who then finally approved for it to be sent out,” said Lieutenant Graven, your correspondence secretary. She seemed to be unsure if that was the thing to do. 

“Good, last night did not go well for me, as you can see I am not well this morning.” She seemed slightly relieved that you approved of this. Seeing as you could not take what was sent out back you might as well make them feel better. Especially if you were going to be working with these people every day. 

“You will be going to the orphanage in a week for some volunteering and some PR opportunities,” said your advisor. 

You simply nodded in response, feeling the weight of your head doing so and instantly regretting it. 

“We will also have to prepare you for your first full First Order assembly. The Supreme Leader gives one at the beginning of the Galactic Standard month. You will be there, and you will need to prepare an address for the First Order. This will be broadcasted across the galaxy,” said your spokesperson. 

You were going to have to speak in front of a couple hundred people while your speech was being broadcasted to billions, if not trillions of people. You felt sick. You felt the tendrils in your mind immediately grab your brain and caused you to immediately calm down, but you then felt the migraine and sharp pains kick in again. You didn’t know what was worse. Being sick to the stomach or having throbbing pain in your skull. Both made you feel just awful. You lurched forward, clutching your head and stomach. 

Adlez seemed to jump into action. “M’lady why don’t you go lie down for a few minutes. I shall go call a doctor.” You almost didn’t feel yourself being hauled to your feet as they guided you down the stairs. They placed you into your bed, where you wanted to stay before this day began. 

You were on the bed for a few minutes before a doctor came in, you were surprised to see Dr. Dabrini. “Good morning Lady Ren, I have been informed that you aren’t feeling well.”

You sat up on your elbows to look at him, trying to focus on your face, but the headache was so splitting that your vision was out of focus, “Dr. Dabrini? I thought you were stationed aboard the Steadfast?” 

“I was m’lady but the Supreme Leader thought I might be more valuable onboard the Supremacy as I am the doctor most familiar with you. As I have now seen you twice before for other conditions and ailments. So what seems to be affecting you, m’lady?” His voice was as calm as ever. 

“I have a splitting headache, that when it does take a temporary break, it feels as if my head weighs a million pounds. I also had temporary nausea upstairs, but I believe that was because of the thought of public speaking.” You were being honest about the last part. The idea of speaking in front of potentially trillions of people made your stomach churn in such a way that it has never done so before. 

“How long has this headache lasted,” you could see the concern on his face. He definitely knew something you didn’t.

“For sure since last night, I’ve been feeling weird for a few days now though.” You then looked at the concern on Adlez’s face as she stood behind the doctor.

He seemed to take notice of this and asked if you two could be left completely alone. He assured her that you would be safe with him and that he needed to ask you some rather confidential questions. She eventually agreed, but you could see that she was not happy about leaving you alone. 

Once you were alone with the doctor he asked, “How long has the Supreme Leader been in your mind?” His voice was laced with concern. 

“I don’t know for a few days, maybe? For sure, since the execution.” 

“And the purpose of him being in your mind then was to ease the grief of the execution,” he asked. 

“Yes, and his presence has been there ever since. Nothing as heavy as today though, it feels as if he were taking up every square inch of my skull, and any time he touches my brain it feels as if there were knives trying to escape my cranium.” Your hand came to your head as if you were trying to show him where the pain was, but in your case now the pain was all over.

He could see the struggle with your pain and excused himself from the room for a moment before he returned with a few pills and a glass of water. “I want you to take these, they are stronger than what Adlez gave you earlier.” 

You happily took them, hoping they would relieve even an ounce of the pain you were feeling. By the time you were finished taking them, Kylo entered the bedroom. 

“Ah, Supreme Leader, please have a seat. We have some things we need to discuss about Lady Ren.”

You moved to sit up, and Kylo rushed to assist you, putting pillows behind your back to support you. He then took a seat at your feet and faced the doctor. “What is there to discuss?” You could sense confusion, worry, and anger in his voice, or maybe that was what the tendrils were projecting in your mind. 

“I do not know your reason for being in Lady Ren’s mind now, but it is negatively affecting her health.” The doctor gestured to your current condition. Kylo followed his gaze to you, his brow furrowed. 

“Why would my presence in her mind be affecting her health? I am not actively ripping memories or trying to gain access. Snoke had done similar things to me.” This made you wonder what had Snoke done to him? If he was doing this to you. 

“But there are two things different with this situation, sir. One she has no Force abilities that we know of. You know as well as I do what can happen to those who are not Force-sensitive when their mind is opened. Second is that you are bonded in a way that makes you different from your former master. You have already seen what happens when you spend too much attention on the name that is on her wrist,” said the doctor. He was right after that incident Kylo hasn’t touched his name on your wrist for weeks. You unconsciously rub your thumb over his name. 

“Your biologies match too much. Your Force projection inside her head doesn’t want to just take hold of her mind, it wants to completely replace it,” the doctor’s voice was laced with stress and worry. 

So the piece of Kylo that was in your brain right now wanted to completely take over, to control you entirely. Your heart jumped to your throat, your stomach dropped, and a cold sweat took over. Panic set in. That he could have complete control in less than a blink of an eye. You closed your eyes as your breathing picked up. Trying to help the rational part of your brain remove his hold on you, or at least defend what little of your former self you had left. You could feel a tear fall down your cheek before a hand came to wipe it away. You did not open your eyes to greet what face you knew was on the other side. You needed to protect you, and those eyes could hypnotize you if you weren’t careful.

“I must ask you, Supreme Leader, is the reason why you are in her mind so important that you risk losing her, or at least risk losing the part that makes her, her? Because if you continue with the occupation of her mind, you may end up killing her mind, she will become a shell of herself with no thoughts of her own. A most basic droid if you will, something to be ordered around that is lifeless. Is it more important than losing her,” asked Dr. Dabrini. 

You didn’t open your eyes, but you used your strength to bring your knees to your chest, where you wrapped your arms around yourself. Trying to take the most defensive position possible. Fearing the response to the doctor’s words. Was Kylo really going to kill you, your personality, your thoughts, and your memories? Was he really going to make you a mindless being that would follow his every word? Why wouldn’t he? It would make his life so much easier if you were the match that submitted to everything he asked and demanded. He could make you do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. You could feel the tears flowing freely as you waited for a response from him. 

You could feel the tendrils shifting and moving, like a horrid black mass in the recesses of your mind. The rational part of your brain seeking it out with the little light you had left, trying to scare it away. Trying to defend you from it, from him. Your brain was a battleground, and your heart was a sinking ship, waiting for Kylo’s response. You were waiting for the other boot to drop. 

“I need to protect her from them. Other Force users who seek to harm her, to take her from me. I don’t know how else to do it.” You could hear the break in Kylo’s voice. He couldn’t protect you without causing harm. 

“I see.” The doctor paused for a moment, taking his time to gather his thoughts, “Is there a specific time that they attack her?”

“In her sleep, when she is most vulnerable.” You could hear the tears in his voice. You wanted to know what this all looked like. Your crying and his. You wanted to know what the doctor was seeing. Seeing his two leaders of his regime, crumbling down in front of him, two broken beings. But you didn’t dare look up, for fear of possibly meeting Kylo’s eyes. 

“I may be able to give her something for her sleep, something that would put her out enough that she wouldn’t be vulnerable to their attacks. But I do fear that you may have weakened her enough that she may now be vulnerable to attacks when she is awake. The only way to know for sure is if you leave her mind. I cannot be sure that if you stay in her mind too much longer, there will be much of her left. The only way to fully protect her is if you kill those who attack her, and soon.” 

You felt the weight of the doctor’s words. The gravity of the situation you were in. Kylo holding your future in his hands. One choice away from making you a lifeless match that would follow his every whim. His choice on whether or not to save you or to create a perfect version of you. Something he could mold to fit his image or someone who had a heart and brain that could think for themselves. 

This terrified you.

You waited for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. Only hearing his words before your brain comprehended the impact that they had on you. And then they hit you. A crash came down, washing over you. Your outlook forever changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	64. Empty

You felt the weight of his presence in your mind leave you, slowly dissipating like smoke in a room. “I shall leave for now, but if the pills don’t work, and she is too weak to guard herself it will leave me no choice but to protect her.” His hand came to your crown, almost as if he was trying to physically caress your mind with his own hand.

Your head felt rather empty without him there. The rational part of your brain, the one that always had its own personality, the fire that kept you going, was now reduced down to not much more than a lamp flame. Your wildfire was almost completely snuffed. Your spark was almost gone. 

“How do you feel, m’lady,” asked Dr. Dabrini. Kylo remained silent. He removed his hand from you. 

You lifted your head, trying to avoid meeting Kylo’s direct piercing gaze, your sight still blurry from your tears. You tried to focus on the doctor, trying to meet his analyzing but gentle gaze. “I don’t know. Better I guess, but I don’t feel the same as before,” your lips trembled as you spoke, afraid to know the truth of what was happening to your mind. You felt the hollowness of your own mind and the heaviness of your heart. 

The doctor came to kneel next to you; you knew that he would be able to see into your mind as Kylo could. He could ask questions, but that was only so good. He couldn’t feel what you were feeling. “What do you feel, m’lady? Can you describe it?” His voice quieter than before, like he wasn’t wanting to scare you off. 

“I feel… empty, like what was there before isn’t now. It isn’t completely gone, but it is mostly gone. My heart is heavy and my head is light, but not in a good way? I don’t know how else to describe it.” Because in truth, you couldn’t—not really. How would you explain that a part of yourself was now gone?

You felt the bed shift as Kylo stood up, his back to the both of you. 

The doctor glanced at him before he spoke to you again, “I cannot guarantee that the missing pieces of you will ever return m’lady. I do know that you should spend some time reflecting on what is still there, the memories, emotions, thoughts, and figure out how to move on with them. I know that it might not be ideal and that it may scare you, but there is nothing that I can do to bring them back. What I can do is give you dreamless sleep tonight.” You could hear the sincerity in the doctor’s voice. You could tell that he wasn’t happy, that he couldn’t do more for you. His face was full of grief and sympathy. 

You nodded and looked at Kylo, whose back was still turned to you, with clenched fists. You wondered what he was thinking. How he felt about taking so much from you? How did he feel knowing he hurt you again? He broke his promise, but with good intentions. He was trying to protect you after all, wasn’t he? 

The doctor glanced between you two before standing, “You know all that I can offer you. Tonight I will have a sleeping pill delivered, and tomorrow we can discuss its effectiveness. But for now, this is all that I can offer, and I shall leave you two alone to discuss our findings.” Dr. Dabrini then stepped out of the room. 

Kylo had yet to move a muscle, his hard rigid back creating a wall between you. You didn’t know if it was protecting you or if it was keeping you out. 

Your voice was small and broken, “Kylo?”

He turned to you, “He’s right. I must speed up my plans, our plans.” He then glanced down the hall, to where you did not know. “I will do what I must to protect you. They will be eliminated and soon. I do not want to take over you, but I will if it means keeping you by my side. Do you understand?” His voice became hard, his cauldron eyes ablaze with cascading emotions. Currents of dark painful water that you knew you could not swim against. 

You did not want to lose yourself, but neither did he. Leia did not want to hurt you, she just wanted him home,  _ Ben  _ home not Kylo. But Rey, Rey would harm you to get Ben to come home, to leave you so he could be with her. Ben not Kylo. Ben the weaker half. “Yes.” You looked up to his face, and attempted to get up to meet him, 

He moved to meet you on the bed. He drew you into his arms. “I will be fully yours then. Won’t I?” You searched his face for an answer. 

“Yes, if I complete my task, you will be mine alone. Ben Solo will no longer exist. But you will be stuck with a broken monster.” His hand came up to move your hair behind your ear. You were a mess after this whole ordeal but there were more important things to worry about. 

“So if you do this there will be no more you or him?” You didn’t know if that scared you or thrilled you. You thought all the gentle moments you two shared may not have been  _ him _ , but you couldn’t be sure. 

He brought your wrist up to his lips, and kissed his name gently, for the first time in weeks. “Yes, if that is what you want.” 

Your heart pounded at the gentleness of it all. You were two equally broken people clinging to each other, to mend yourselves whole. Two souls that were chosen from the galaxy to intertwine. Where one couldn’t survive without the other? 

“I don’t want to be hurt by this tug-of-war anymore. I want you Kylo, just you. Ben Solo betrayed me, by not protecting me, by leaving me defenseless to attacks, but you have tried to protect me. You only harm me when you fight him, so the fight needs to end.” It was partially true, he was a monster, but he was fighting against himself and his slashes were hitting you in the process. You needed to figure out who the monster was, so you could fix him. Train him to be your hound. Once you were Empress. A monster only you could understand, a monster that you were created to love. 

“Then I will have to leave you, to kill him. To kill them. You are  _ MINE,”  _ the monster growled. “I will not let them have you, I will not let him win.” His lips crashed harshly against yours, biting your lip as they did. Teeth scraping and rough, this was him, this was Kylo. “And when I win, you shall be Empress,” he snarled into the kiss. A rough lover, one with intense passion, that ignited heat within you. 

His sharp teeth nipped, and he sucked down your neck, marking you as his and his alone. His nose guided his lips back up to your ear, “As much as I would like to play with you Kitten, we have a meeting to get to, one that will help us accomplish our goal,” he gave you one last harsh nips to your lips as you broke apart. His arms sliding under you as he stood, carrying you to your dressing room where Adlez and Olivia-Rose were waiting to fix you.

“You have ten minutes to make her presentable,” he then set you down in front of your vanity. A harsh bruising possessive kiss to your lips before he left you into their care. 

You glanced at your reflection in the mirror. You looked like and felt like hell. Your appearance made it seem as if you just got out of an active war zone, out of a fight for your life. Adlez and Olivia-Rose buzzed around you with such a speed you hadn’t witnessed before. Adlez carefully but quickly put your hair back into place and started assisting Olivia-Rose in covering the dark circles under your eyes, and the fresh love bites along your neck. You were then pulled to the armoire where your dress was practically ripped off you and then promptly replaced. Almost as soon as you were placed for inspection in front of the full-length mirror, there was a loud knock on the door. Time was up. 

If you hadn’t started to move you were sure that Adlez would have ripped the door out from its pocket in the wall and screamed at Kylo. But you made it to the door before she did. Your body moving on a sort of autopilot. Once the door opened an arm pulled you out into the hall and started walking you out of your chambers. He was moving with a purpose and taking you with him. 

You walked down the halls until you reached the familiar conference room from the day before. Kylo sat you down in your seat as he stalked to the head of the table. You could see that it wasn’t just a few members of the High Command present like Hux had said before, it was everyone. Well, some were holocommuting in, but still all members were present in some form. 

Everyone seemed to be on edge. Kylo’s mood resonating to each individual person. Hux was the first to speak, “You called for this meeting Supreme Leader? Have things changed?” You could hear the uneasiness in his usually confident voice. His eyes reflected that same fear as he gazed upon the black monster in front of him. 

“Yes, the plans have changed. Things have changed. The need to kill the scavenger and General Organa has become more important, more immediate. It needs my full attention. I shall leave sometime tomorrow to complete the task.” His voice through his mask is more menacing than ever. 

“But we do not know where they are,” said Pryde. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as Kylo shadowed towards him. His dark threatening black form seemed impossibly large. 

He brought his face to be level with Pryde’s holo one. “Do you doubt my abilities, General Pryde?” You could hear the taunt, like a hyena’s laugh, only more deadly. 

You watched the general swallow, to what you could only assume to be a dry mouth. His lips trembled in fear as his hologram eyes met the chrome of Kylo’s mask. “No, Supreme Leader, I do not.” 

Kylo’s mask was less than an inch from the projection before he said, “Good.” He then stood back up to his full ominous form as he tracked back to the head of the table, “we wouldn’t want  _ tradition  _ to doubt authority and the ability of the Force.” You could hear the direct jab at Pryde’s pride. “After all, I am my grandfather’s heir apparent. Am I not,” his head whipped around to meet Pryde’s gaze. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader, you are. You shall exceed Lord Vader’s legacy,” you could practically smell the fear through the hologram. You could certainly see the sweat forming on his brow, anyway. 

Kylo lifted his head in a mock approval before he haunted around your side of the table before stopping next to you, “Once I return, Lady Ren will assume the position of Empress. And you will all be prepared for this. All preparations will need to be prepared. As neither of us will wait.” His hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Preparations will begin immediately,” responded Hux. 

“Would you like for the ceremony to take place back on Earth? Or shall it be somewhere else,” asked General Parnadee. 

“Where would you like the ceremony to be held,” asked Kylo. He was speaking to you and you alone. The rest of the room waiting on your answer. 

“How about somewhere new, somewhere important to you maybe? There is no use going back to my planet, is there?”

“As you wish,” responded Kylo. 

“There is your grandfather’s castle on Mustafar m’lord,” said Hux. 

“Yes, send preparations there. We are finished here.” With that, he guided you back up, escorting you back down the halls to your chambers. To be alone with him once again. To see the monster behind the mask, to learn about him. To love him, to mend him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	65. A Rose by Any Other Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter because I was busy and then my brain couldn't brain.

You both entered your chambers, where your staff was waiting for you, Kylo ordered them to get out. You were to be alone with him, he told your ladies-in-waiting that there would be no need for them to get you ready for bed. You were to be his and his alone tonight.

“I will be leaving tomorrow, and I won’t see you until the ceremony, so I want you to myself tonight, Kitten.” His arms wrapped around your waist as he drew you close. Your eyes met the chrome of his mask, his muzzle. 

He crashed his helmet down into your lips, you would be kissing but the helmet was blocking his reciprocation of your lips. You were unsure what to do, but you obeyed what seemed to be his command kissing the helmet, wrapping your arms around his neck, letting your tongue graze over the cool metal, feeling the red seams where it was repaired following them. You heard a synthesized groan come from the mask before, “Kitten. I do not know how much longer I can hold out. It is lucky for you that I will not return until you can be made Empress.” 

His words sent shivers down your spine as one of his hands traced down your back. He released you for a second but not really, you felt the Force wrap its own protective limbs around you, in tendrils just like it had done with your brain. 

You heard Kylo’s deep harsh chuckle once the mask was off, “I think my Force likes you.” You could see the smirk form on his face as one of the invisible tendrils moved up your bare leg, you felt the hem of your dress get tugged as you felt it wrap tightly around your lower thigh, “I think it likes you almost as much as I do.” He then pulled you back to his broad chest. You felt the tendrils slowly unwrap their hold on you. 

His lips meeting your own, his teeth pulling your bottom lip with such a force you thought he was actually going to take a bite out of it. His teeth clashing into yours. He growled into the meat of your mouth like a hungry ravenous dog. His tongue bullying yours around like its own personal punching bag. You were held hostage in the cage of his arms, the rational part of your brain not really fighting back. Eventually, his lips abandoned yours to leave marks along your neck. Almost as if he was feasting on your flesh. In the crook of your neck, he laughed out, “Soon you will be known to the galaxy as the fair maiden that has tamed the bloodthirsty beast that is Kylo Ren.” His nips made way to your collarbone and down the neckline of your dress. Leaving deep bruises in the supple tender flesh. 

“But I’m not a maiden, not really.” 

He removed his head from your chest and met your eyes with an intense frown. “I know, and I am not happy about it.” His hand gripped your jaw, “If I didn’t have more important things to do I would hunt down every last one of them. You are mine and only mine.” His lips collided into yours, his hunger taking over once more. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” 

This was a question that you knew you were probably going to have to answer at some point. You hadn’t viewed your virginity as such an important construct since you were in middle school. You lost it because you doubted Ben/Kylo’s existence, he wasn’t in the database, he wasn’t on social media, you began to doubt his existence. You also knew that it was more common for people to have platonic relationships with their matches, and you didn’t want to break your heart with the rejection. So you mainly messed around in college, it wasn’t that big of a deal to most people, but then again Kylo wasn’t most people. 

“Why didn’t you wait,” you countered. If he was going to accuse you, he couldn’t do so without being held accountable for his own actions. 

“Because Kitten, for me it was a right of passage with the Knights, a way to break my previous training and vow against attachments. My uncle, Luke Skywalker, took the traditional vow of chastity and a vow against attachments. I knew that would never be the life I wanted, as your name was a part of me.” His hand then grabbed your wrist and his thumb glided over his name. “I was also inexperienced, something I would never have wished upon you, a lack of skill, but I promise that you are the only one I have ever been attached to.” His lips glided over yours, “But you still need to answer my question Kitten. Why didn’t you wait for me?” 

“Because I didn’t know if I would ever find you. I also did not know if you would ever accept me as your match, so I prepared myself. I also have never viewed my virginity as something special.” 

“Then why are we waiting Kitten?” He was slightly agitated either from regular frustration or sexual frustration.

“Because you are special,” you said sweetly. With a smirk on your face, “And because you promised that I would be Empress first.” You leaned in to give him a sweet kiss, which he reciprocated. For a moment before your stomach growled out of hunger, you had missed lunch and it was slowly approaching dinner time. 

“Hungry Kitten,” he asked with a smirk. His lips teasing your ear. 

“Yes.” 

He then led you out onto the patio, where you sat in the lounge chairs. He ordered food for you both. Once you both finished eating he beckoned you over to his chair, to sit on his lap. You complied as you felt the Force wrap around you again. For a bit Kylo was content with you just laying back against his chest, while the tendrils of the Force caressed over your body. Eventually, a tendril played with a lock of your hair and Kylo’s hand came to caress your face. 

“I do not know how long I will be gone Kitten, will you miss me?”

You sat up and turned around in his lap, you were now lying chest to chest. “Of course I will.”

His hand found the back of your head as he brought it forward, to kiss the crown of your head. You scooted down to lay your head on his chest and listened to his beating heart. The heart many in the galaxy claimed he did not own. He was a beast, a mutt of a man. He compared you to a fair maiden, but in truth, you were more of the rose that he kept under the glass. Something he cherished above all else. 

You knew most of the galaxy couldn’t see this demon man be as gentle as he was right now. He was an absolute horrid creature in their eyes, something that would trample a rose like you instead of protecting it. But they didn’t know what his heart held. The spot he carved out for you long ago, when your name was the only thing that kept him going. 

His fingers played in your hair, the pressure of the Force gone. “It’s time for bed Kitten. Tomorrow I shall leave you and when we see each other again you will be crowned Empress.” 

You moved to stand and he followed. You made your way to your dressing room and got ready for bed. When you exited Dr. Dabrini was speaking to Kylo in a hushed tone. As you approached them the doctor faced you. “M’lady I have returned to administer the sleeping medication. I suggest you lie down as it will take effect quickly.” 

You nodded in response and did as you were told. He gave you the drug and a glass of water to take with it. Once taken he told you that he would be back in the morning to access its effectiveness, and took his leave. 

Kylo joined you on the bed, only after stripping off the lounge pants that he wore for the doctor’s sake. He crawled up next to you. “I’m sorry I am unable to protect you like I should.” A kiss fell on your lips. 

“It’s all right, you heard the doctor earlier, we are too compatible and for this it's a bad thing but for everything else it's good.” You carded your hand through his raven hair. Kissing him again. 

He settled over you as he kissed over your love mark riddled neck. Unlike before the kisses and nips were gentle as you felt sleep take over. And not just a normal sleep, a black sleep of nothingness for which you were thankful. 

No dreams. No surprise dream visits. Only blackness, that was now a comfort as it reminded you of your match, your black eyed monster that only cared for you. A twin soul that shared the galaxy with you. 

  
  
  
  



	66. Without a Proposal

Your brain was rather foggy when you felt a familiar pressure behind your ear. He continued down your ear and kissed you. You felt the weight of his body above yours, “Good morning Kitten, I’ll be leaving soon.” Another kiss fell on your lips. “Please wake up, I would like to see your beautiful eyes before I leave.” 

You opened your eyes and were greeted by his dark cauldron eyes, scanning your face as he looked at you. Once you held eye contact long enough he resumed peppering your face and neck with kisses. Marking your collar bone with more love bites before meeting you for a deep kiss. “I have to go Kitten, but I will try and holocommunicate with you when I can.” He gave you one last kiss before he stood up. 

You watched him leave, taking your heart with him as he left. You knew that he was leaving you for the greater good. To protect you, but that still didn’t mean you were fully ok with him leaving. Your protective hound was about to go out and fight while you were to stay behind. You also did not feel ok with him facing Rey, the scavenger, who wanted Ben to come home. You knew Kylo did not feel the same about her, they were connected through the Force but you were his match. He wouldn’t leave you especially with you being so close to being Empress, to being fully his. His mother was another thing that made you worry a bit, you didn’t have the best relationship with your family, but you could never imagine killing them. But they threatened your existence by wanting Ben Solo back. 

Adlez and Olivia-Rose appeared around the corner and got you out of bed. You made your way to the dressing room where you sat down in front of the vanity. Adlez gave you a look as she worked on your hair, “How are you feeling?” There was a tone in her voice that seemed to judge you.    
  
“Good. Why are you asking?” You knew she suspected something but you didn’t know what yet.    
  
“You weren’t feeling well yesterday. We called the doctor, you did something with him and the Supreme Leader. We were told to put you back together. You went off to a meeting and when you returned we were ordered out. You spent the night alone with him and he leaves this morning and will be gone for who knows how long. I don’t like it,” said Adlez. “I would like to know if you are all right.” 

“I am fine, there were some complications that are fixed now. The Supreme Leader needs to do some things in order to protect me, once it is done I will be Empress.” You met her eyes in the vanity, trying to reassure her and yourself at the same time. 

They finished getting your ready in relative silence. You could tell neither of them liked the situation you were in. They knew you weren’t really telling them the whole truth. But you had other things occupying your mind. As you stepped out into the hall you were greeted by Dr. Dabrini. 

  
“Good morning m’lady I am here for our follow up,” he gestured for you to follow him into the bedroom as Adlez and Olivia-Rose headed into the dining room. “How are you feeling?”

“My head is a bit foggy but I did not dream last night, at all.”    
  
“Good, good. I believe this may be what you need until the Supreme Leader gets back. I will be monitoring your doses closely for the next few days just to be sure. But if you feel any nausea or feel anything other than normal please contact me immediately.” After receiving confirmation from you he left and you joined the others in the dining room to eat your breakfast. 

“Would you like to go over your schedule this morning m’lady,” asked Captain Mitaka. 

“Yes, please.” You were wondering what Kylo has left you to do while he was gone. 

“This morning the Allegiant General will be joining you to plan your ceremony to become Empress. You will then have a luncheon with members of the High Command. Then you have your lessons, and then a dinner of your choice.”

It dawned on you that this would be the first time in weeks that you would be eating dinner without Kylo, sleeping without him for the night. You also remembered he tended to take the knights with him when he left. “Who is guarding me with the Supreme Leader gone?” 

“There will be a rotation between Captain Phasma and Commander Pyre with Knights Trudgen and Kuruk. They will be rotating 12-hour shifts and will switch over during your lesson time,” responded Mitaka. 

Your staff tended to stay quiet as they were still getting used to you, and their first few days haven’t been the greatest as you have been affected by a number of different things. 

“Shall we go wait for the Allegiant General in the lounge,” you ask the group, who all just nodded in agreement. You then proceeded to meander upstairs as you waited for Hux to arrive. You answered various questions from the staff as you watched him enter. 

“Good morning m’lady, I hope you’re feeling better,” said Hux. 

“I am thank you, so we are to plan my ceremony,” you ask him as he takes a seat across from you. 

“Yes, there is a list of things we need to plan right away, one of them being your dress.” 

“My dress,” you ask curiously. You assumed that there would need to be some sort of regal gown, but you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal that it would need to be planned first. 

“Yes, I believe the customary color in your culture is white,” said Adlez. 

You turned to look at her as curiosity took flame, “So like a wedding?”

“It is a wedding,” said Adlez with confusion on her face. “Did the Dark Lord not inform you as to what the ceremony is?”

  
  


“No, he didn’t.” You turned back to Hux. “So you're telling me he just up and left and is making me plan a wedding, without so much a proposing? I assumed I was just going to be crowned Empress or something, like that type of ceremony, Not a wedding.” You were now getting angry but reasonably so.

  
“I was unaware that he did not tell you what the ceremony is. Right now, unmarried you can only take the title of First Lady. But within marriage, you are allowed to take the title as Empress,” responded Hux. You knew he was telling you the truth there was no need for him to lie to you, especially about this. 

“Now I can see why you suggested that I would want this to happen on Earth.”

“Would you like to change venues m’lady,” asked Mitaka. 

“No, no I already agreed to Mustafar, a planet that is important to the Supreme Leader. So I will just have to deal with it. But if this is really a wedding I would like a white dress, is there any place I could look at designs or anything?”

“I can have a dressmaker come in and design something with you,” said Adlez.    
  
“That would be preferable, can you find examples of some of the most important dresses in the galaxy? So we know what we have to hit as a goal?”

“Anything you wear will be considered the most fashionable thing in the galaxy. After the ceremony, people across the galaxy will be asking for replicas, and you will be seeing similar dresses for years if not decades,” replied Adlez.

“I know but I only have Earth fashion to really base anything off of, I would love to be inspired by parts of the galaxy too.”    
  
“I can arrange for that, something inspired by his grandmother might be preferable. Although I would suggest less heavy makeup and not so intricate hair,” said Adlez, there was a giggled shared around by your staff members. 

“Is there something odd about his grandmother’s fashion,” you ask not understanding the odd amusement. 

  
“Naboo isn’t known for its simple fashion. They can be rather…,” said Hux. 

“Avant-garde” jumped in Olivia-Rose.

“I see. I trust your judgment Adlez, send over sample ideas to beat, and then the dressmaker has a good idea where to start.” 

After that decision was made everything went rather smoothly. The luncheon with members of the High Command went quickly, nothing too out of the ordinary. And soon you were off to your very topical lesson with Hux. “I technically haven’t been given the go-ahead by the Supreme Leader, but seeing as you now already know we can finish your standard lessons.”

[ **Ch. 20: Engagements** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_20_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 21 Part 1: First Preparations before a Wedding (para. 1-50)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_21-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 21 Part 2: First Preparations before a Wedding (para. 51-114)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_21-2_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 21 Part 3: First Preparations before a Wedding (para. 115-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_21-3_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 22 Part 1: The Day of the Wedding (para. 1-57)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_22-1_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 22 Part 2: The Day of the Wedding (para 58-108)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_22-2_post.mp3)

[ **Ch. 22 Part 3: The Day of the Wedding (para. 109-end)** ](http://www.archive.org/download/etiquette_0709_librivox/etiquette_22-3_post.mp3)

After your lesson, you decided to take dinner alone. Not wanting to be disturbed by anyone as you have yet to be really alone for a long while. You have been constantly surrounded by others 24/7, you were surprised you could even go to the bathroom by yourself honestly. The peace and quiet were refreshing. After dinner you let Adlez and Olivia-Rose help you get ready for bed. Dr. Dabrini delivered you your sleeping pill, and Adlez insisted on staying until you fell asleep. Once again you were greeted by blackness, no dreams, no surprise visits. Only calming blackness. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	67. Planning a Wedding

This was the first time in a while that you had woken up completely alone. You were thankful that the sleeping pill put you to sleep because if it didn’t you were pretty sure that falling asleep would have been hard since Kylo wasn’t wrapped around you. The bed felt empty, but you weren’t alone for long. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were there a few minutes after you became conscious. 

You went about your usual morning routine of getting dressed, having breakfast, learning your schedule, and so on. Somehow it all felt rather monotonous. This repeated for the first few days until you were informed that the dressmaker would be arriving to take your measurements and to design your dress. 

You were expecting to meet a man but were surprised to see a rather older looking woman greeting you, “Good morning Lady Ren, I am here to design your ceremony gown.” Her voice was that characteristically sweet old lady voice that always comforted you. 

“It is nice to meet you, I trust my lady-in-waiting sent you some of the designs we need to beat. This is a rather important dress and I would like to get it right.” No, you had to get right, and she knew that. 

“Of course, the dresses she sent over were some of the best ones worn by [ Queen Padme Amidala](https://i.redd.it/xj3qysz3v0h21.jpg) . Are they something you would like to emulate or are they just something to compare to?” You watched as her kind gray eyes watched your face, they were rather comforting. 

“Something to compare to, I also believe she sent over some dresses from my planet as well, some dresses that [ royalty have worn](https://www.townandcountrymag.com/the-scene/weddings/g15836640/best-royal-wedding-dresses/) .” You had seen some of the royal wedding dresses splashed across tabloids at the supermarkets. You knew people always loved them, and you had to admit that they were rather pretty. 

“Yes, the main theme from those dresses that I could see were white lace gowns that were modest and featured long trains. Is this something you would like to start with?” She seemed to read you very well, in many ways she seemed like another person you could trust.

“Yes, I want a white dress as it is traditional where I come from. But I would like to include something from Naboo if possible.” You had seen the dresses Adlez had sent over, none of them were really your taste, but you knew Kylo’s grandmother was famous for her fashion sense. And he had a deep devotion to his grandfather, so you wanted to honor his wife. 

“We could include some specialty embroidery or lace, Naboo is famous for it unless you would like to have a stuffed bodice?” You did not want the horrid puffy sleeves of her dresses, nor did you want the rather elaborate hairstyles she favored.

“No embroidery or lace will be fine. I am not a fan of large puffy sleeves. I sort of want something sleek and timeless. Something that will be spoken about for millennia.” You hoped the galactic fashion trends were similar to Earth’s in that some things were considered timeless. 

“May I ask where the ceremony is being held?” She started to take out her sketchbook and jot down some notes. 

“The castle on Mustafar,” you stood by your agreement to have it there, even if a small part of you wished you could have it back on Earth. 

“Ah, so I must make you stand out from the architecture. It features a lot of harsh lines and symmetry. And you must stand apart but yet together with the Supreme Leader. I trust the Supreme Leader will have something special made by one of the First Order tailors.”

She started sketching design after design, eventually; you settled on one. Something that would make you look feminine and delicate against the architecture, but yet regal and powerful. It would feature lace from Naboo, and a long train and veil combo that would bring in the royalty vibes you were hoping for. She took the final design and informed you she would be back in a few days with the dress.

All the excitement of designing a wedding dress dissipated after a bit. You were then left to your regular routine of learning, going to meetings, and meeting with your staff. 

Kylo had been gone five days before you heard from him. He had yet to make any real headway in finding the scavenger. 

“I’ve missed you,” you said as you saw his face appear on the holocall. 

“I’ve missed you too, Kitten.” Gods how you missed his voice. You hoped all of this would end soon because you couldn’t take it for much longer. 

“Are you lonely without me?” If he asked you that question back you would beg him to come home. But he didn’t. 

“Terribly, the bed is cold, I miss my morning kisses. My nightly showers are even worse, as there is no beautiful woman to climb into bed with afterward.” He gave you a wink that had you blushing all over. You were glad the holocall gave you a blue cast as you were sure he would tease you about it. “As much as my knights are my brothers, they are no replacement for you. I also don’t think Ushar and Cardo would appreciate playing with me like you do, Kitten.” Now you were fully beat red. “Although Cardo does seem lonely himself. Maybe you could talk to that lady-in-waiting of yours to message him, to cheer him up?”

Of course, Adlez was up to shenanigans when you weren’t with her. “I know nothing of their relationship. If he is feeling lonely, then he can message her himself. “You truly didn’t know anything, and you kinda preferred it that way. 

You heard a chuckle come from his deep resonating chest, only muffled by the audio of the holocall, “You are lucky you don’t hear their talks about her then. I am afraid your lady-in-waiting might tarnish my knights.”

“Hey now, she is the one  _ you  _ picked for me. I think she’s just whipping them into shape.” He did pick her out for you, a decision he should probably regret. 

“Literally,” he said with a smirk. You could see the playful water swirl in his cauldron eyes. Eyes that you really wanted to drown in. 

“I did not need to know that.” Now the image of Adlez with a riding crop popped into your head, an image that would scar you presumably for life. 

“Well, Kitten, it might be something we can experiment with too once I get back.” And for the first time since you’ve met him, he actually winked at you. You had no idea where this truly flirty side was coming from, but you hoped it didn’t leave. 

Your face was now completely on fire. In an attempt to change the subject, “How are you advancing on your mission?” 

His face turned into a scowl. “She has been difficult to find, It hasn’t been easy. Once Rey is dead, my mother will hand herself over quietly. But for now, I have to go, we will be dropping out of hyperspace in a few minutes and we will be searching the planets in this system.”

“Where are you off to again?” You haven’t heard directly from him in the last few days, but you have been receiving updates. But you had still yet to learn about the galaxy and its many planets. 

“Pasaana, we have a lead that she may be headed there. I will call you when I can.” You could hear some of the knights moving around in the back of the call. You hoped he would just finish what he needed to do soon so he could come back to you. 

“Return to me in one piece, please.” If he got hurt or killed, you wouldn’t know how to handle yourself.

“I will.” You watched as his image faded from in front of you. The call ended. And you were alone once more. Alone to face the next few days by yourself. 

In the rush of being able to talk to him again, to see him. You had completely forgotten about the need to chew him out for not actually proposing to you. To just leave you in the hands of the rest of the First Order to plan a wedding. But you missed him, you were lonely. 

The last few days you had just been eating dinner by yourself. You knew Adlez was eating with the knights and that Olivia-Rose and Mitaka were probably together. All in all, you felt rather more alone. Everyone around you seemed to have a life outside your chambers. Not that you didn’t, but you hadn’t the true freedom of being able to walk the halls or to meet new people to just be friends with.

You had been keeping tabs on your friends back home on Earth. Hayden and Carter both seemed to be doing fine. Hayden had applied for the ‘trooper corps that would be stationed on Earth and Carter seemed to be excelling at work. You knew that calling them wouldn’t be the same as before all this happened. All of you had changed. You dreaded knowing what they were like after the education had fully set in. You were different to but in ways you could not describe. For better or worse you were a different woman than when you first met Kylo. You were becoming more like him every day, and it should bother you, but right now it comforted you. He was gone but was still with you at the same time. 

You also did not want to call your parents or siblings. Your parents had been disrespectful to you before you left. You wondered if they would attend the ceremony, your wedding. Or if they would just watch the broadcast like every other First Order citizen. Hux would know, but you didn’t really care either way. Kylo was your family now, and maybe one day you would make one with him. In many ways, Olivia-Rose, Adlez, Mitaka, Hux, Phasma, the Knights of Ren, and your staff were your family. But Kylo was home, and no one could take that away from you. Not Rey, not his mother, no one. 

You got yourself ready for bed, as you had been for the last few nights. The only person who saw you was the doctor as he administered your sleeping pill. You took less time to get ready as really; you had no one to get ready for. There was no Kylo to warm the bed or to wake you up. It was just you. 

Once the doctor left after you received your dose you rolled over to Kylo’s side of the bed. His pillow still smelled like him and it helped ease the loneliness as the blackness of sleep took over. No dreams to disturb you. 

The next few days were as monotonous as ever. The same routine day in and day out, until the general informed you that the ship had arrived at Mustafar two days ago but that they were having trouble preparing the castle. 

“So this isn’t a First Order controlled planet?” You assumed it was when it was suggested in the first place.

“It technically isn’t but we haven’t had a problem here in the past, but I suppose that might have to do with the Supreme Leader’s presence at the time,” responded Hux. You were joined by all your staff as you were planning more details for the ceremony. 

“So they will continue to be hostile, and the place where my wedding is supposed to happen will be in ruin?” Just what you needed. Your match was out trying to kill someone to protect you, but you were sent off to a battlefield where you were supposed to get married and be crowned Empress. 

“Well, the castle isn’t necessarily in the best of conditions in the first place,” said Captain Mitaka. 

“Then why was it recommended?” You had yet to receive any information on your wedding venue, really. You had no idea what it looked like, not that you could really change it now. 

“Because it was Lord Vader’s personal residence and his influence on the Supreme Leader’s life has been significant. He holds his grandfather and his legacy in high regard,” responded Hux. You knew the answer but were just frustrated at the current situation. Nothing felt like it was going to plan. 

“So who is attacking the ground troops?” No one had told you who, just that they were being attacked. 

“Alazmec of Winsit, Sith cultists. They believe Lord Vader to be a deity,” said Hux. 

A lightbulb clicked in your brain. “Do they know that the Supreme Leader is a direct descendant of Darth Vader? And that he would like to have a wedding at his grandfather’s castle?” 

“No, they do not,” said Mitaka. 

Why is it that you occasionally felt like the smartest person in the room? “Can we reason with them, inform them of this?”

“We have tried, the troops we have sent have been defeated.” Hux was starting to look easily frustrated. You had no idea how many people they had sent down or how many of the cultists there were, but surely this couldn’t keep on going when you had a wedding to plan. 

You had made a decision. “I shall go reason with them.” 

“I don’t think that is a good idea. I don’t believe the Supreme Leader would approve of you putting yourself in harm’s way,” said Hux. 

“Is the Supreme Leader here?” You have had enough. 

“No,” said Mitaka. And this is why he was one of your favorites. 

“Exactly and did he give explicit orders to keep me from going to the planet’s surface?” You were determined to get this whole thing over with. 

“No, m’lady,” said Hux. You could tell that he knew he was going to regret saying that. 

“Then I am going down to the planet to reason with them. I will have the knights and Captain Phasma with me. The only way I could be safer is if the Supreme Leader was here himself, but then again if he was we wouldn’t have this problem.” You were starting to understand how a Bridezilla was formed but was it really that unreasonable to get your ceremony space in order? You had promised that you would have your wedding on Mustafar and come hell or high water, you were going to have it there. After all, you were going to be the Empress of the entire galaxy one day, so you should have a wedding to remember. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	68. Mustafar

The next day Hux had arranged a transport ship to bring you down to the surface. You had ordered no more ships full of ‘troopers to be sent down to Mustafar until you had arrived. You were being guarded by Trudgen, Kuruk, and Captain Phasma. Hux and Mitaka were also escorting you along with a handful of other officers and ‘troopers. You could see the worry on Hux and Mitaka’s faces as you approached the surface. Both of them had their standard-issue blasters equipped to their belts. 

You waited as the ship landed, all eyes were on the exiting ramp as it lowered. The surface of the planet was much different than you expected. The air was heavy with a volcanic smell, the trees in the forest looked scorched. Desolate is how you would describe the planet to which your wedding was to be held. You followed the knights out of the ship, Phasma directly to your side and the rest of your company following. You did your best to show no fear, your head held high, your shoulders and back straight. You were not to be messed with. 

The Alazmec approached with their guns, spears, axes, and bows. Yelling words that you did not understand. But they halted when they saw the knights. You could hear them speak to one and other as they pointed to Trudgen and Kuruk’s helmets. 

You turned around to ask one of the officers behind you, “Is there anyone that speaks their language?” You wanted to know what they were saying. You were hoping that the similarities between the knights and Kylo were working in your favor at the moment. 

“The translator droid does.” It stepped forward. You watched as the Alazmec regarded it in a rather hostile manner. You weren’t sure if they were used to any technology of this sort. 

“Can you tell me what they are saying,” you asked the rather robotic humanoid droid. You had sort of wished whoever designed it had left the eyepieces out, as they looked rather soulless. 

“They seemed to be debating on whether or not the Knights of Ren’s helmets are related to that of Lord Vader’s,” said the robotic voice of the droid. 

One of them seemed to hear the word Vader as they all began to shout his name. You didn’t know whether or not to be excited or scared. You hoped the shouting was a good thing. 

“Can you tell them that the grandson of Lord Vader wishes to use the castle?” You really hoped they believed you. Hoping that the knights’ helmets would be just enough to convince them. You really didn’t want an all-out war. 

You heard them exchange conversation, the droid turned back to you. “They have agreed.” You could see silence fall over the cultists. 

“Tell them thank you,” you knew you needed to be polite. Basically, it was rule number one in all of your training thus far. 

“They do not have a word or phrase for thank you, Lady Ren,” responded the droid with a cocked head. For the first time, you honestly thought it could actually think and not just compute. 

“Then tell them Lord Vader would be pleased, at their allowance for us to use the castle.” You hoped this would translate well, it wasn’t a thank you per se but it should be good enough. Kylo and the knights usually failed to have proper manners, but you were supposed to be a lady. So you needed to have good enough manners for the both of you. 

The droid translated what you said, and you could hear excited chatter from the cultists who ushered you towards the castle in the distance. You were thankful that Adlez picked out a comfortable pair of boots for this visit. 

The castle was a large structure that seemed to pierce the sky with its height. It sort of reminded you of something out of a fantasy novel, like Lord of the Rings. But not something the elves or humans would live out of, rather something Sauron would. You approached a river of lava by the entrance. Now you were starting to understand Kylo’s design and fashion influence. 

While it was full of symmetry, and clean sharp lines it was dilapidated. Upon entering the ruins of the castle, you felt eerily alone even though you were surrounded by many other people. The heaviness and stillness of the air added to the wariness you felt. Something about this castle felt as if there was more here than just a building.

You watched as Trudgen, and Kuruk seemed to share some sort of silent communication with each other. 

“Do you feel it too,” you asked them. 

“You feel it? I thought you lacked Force sensitivity,” responded Kuruk, his distorted voice echoing in the large silent chamber. No one had said anything since entering the castle, as if too afraid to disturb what might be there. 

“I don’t have the Force, or at least the doctor seems to think so, and the Supreme Leader has yet to say something about it. But I feel…. a heavy darkness in the corners of the castle, but a blanket covering it? And under us is something I do not want to visit.” Something dark seemed to, for a lack of a better word, live under the castle. Something you were afraid of. You could feel the rational part of your brain get worried. 

“This place is full of the Force,” responded Trudgen. 

“Built using ancient Sith architecture directly over an ancient Sith cave. This place is also filled with Darth Vader’s energy. What you are feeling is the Force. And purely the dark side of the Force,” said Kuruk. 

You stepped around some fallen stone as you made your way to the main room that overlooked Mustafar. “The dark side of the Force? The Sith?” You had a million questions stirring in your mind.  
  
“It would probably be best if the boss answered those questions. In his next call to you, you should ask,” said Trudgen. 

You looked around the room you were in; it felt open but yet closed off from the rest of the galaxy. “This is where the ceremony will take place. I want what can be repaired to be repaired.” You turned to the other officers who seemed to not want to enter the room as far as you did. You then spoke directly to the translator droid. “Let the Alazmec know that we will have ships and technicians brought down to the surface to repair the castle. We want to help restore it, to fulfill Lord Vader’s legacy.” 

You then turned back to the large window, gazing at the firey burning planet that you would have to be married on. The lines of lava reminded you of the red lines marring Kylo’s mask. This felt in many ways like it was the place Kylo was meant to be. Not somewhere else in the galaxy fighting for who knows what, but here. You wondered if this was the place that you would eventually rule from, or if he would still choose the Supremacy. But this still didn’t feel like the place in your dreams. No, that place was different. It had a throne, an ancient one. Here it felt too new. 

Hux approached you, “M’lady I’ve received a message from the Supreme Leader.” He held out his comlink, and you heard a recording of Kylo’s voice. “The scavenger is dead.”

Your heart stopped for a moment. He was doing it, he was actually killing Ben Solo. His mother would be next. You felt frozen in time, your ears rang before Hux spoke again. 

“He also sent word that there will be a transmission of the battle being sent out during the monthly address tomorrow. The one you were supposed to hold together. He wants you to lead it.” The numbness of static was felt all over your body. You were going to have to lead without him, without his help. Your hands started to shake.

“Do not worry, m’lady. Myself and Hux will help you. You are also able to rely on proper staff now. All you should have to do is really introduce the transmission and to conclude it,” said Phasma reassuringly.

For a moment you were jealous of her and the knights. They could hide behind masks. They did not have to mask their emotions on their faces. They had anonymity when they wore them, even if they were recognizable with their armor and helmets. You were vulnerable, and now really for the first time without Kylo by your side. 

You didn’t fully register your thank you to her in your mind, but it escaped your mouth, anyway. Your body working on autopilot as you made your way out of the castle and back to the transport shuttle. You hoped Kylo would call you again tonight. You needed him, and you hoped that he could feel that wherever he was in the galaxy. 

You disembarked the transport shuttle in the main hanger; you hadn’t said a word to anyone on your ascension back up to the Supremacy. Your mind was going a million miles per hour, and it was completely empty at the same time. You calmly made your way back to your chambers, still running on autopilot, not speaking to or addressing anyone. You entered your chambers where you were greeted by the rest of your staff and your ladies-in-waiting, “Out.” You gave a simple command. As much as you probably needed to prepare for tomorrow, you needed to be alone right now. 

You were by yourself for no more than a few minutes before you received a holocall from Kylo. You watched as his disheveled image appeared in front of you. 

“You’re hurt.” There were a few new gashes littering his face, and from what you could see another on his arm, and what appeared to be a hole in his side. 

“I am fine.” His voice was gruff and abrupt. On closer inspection of his image, you could see that they were mostly just angry reds and pinks and not actively bleeding. “She is dead.” 

You quickly blinked twice before responding, “Yes. Hux delivered the news to me.” 

“Good. How are the preparations coming along?” His voice was rather monotone. His eyes now seemed as cold and hard as steel. 

You knew this was probably not the best time to test his anger, “Good. I visited the surface and negotiated with the Alazmec. Repairs should be underway for the castle itself. I have a fitting tomorrow. Everything seems to be coming along.” 

“Good.” He just seemed to stare at you, you didn’t know if you should end the call. 

“Can you explain to me briefly what the dark side of the Force is and who the Sith are?” You didn’t know if he was in the mood to answer these questions, but you needed to know. At least you weren’t accusing him of not proposing to you. 

“The force has three sides, the light, the dark, and the grey. The light side is aligned with calmness and is used for knowledge and defense. The dark side is aligned with passion and is used for strength, power, victory, and above all else freedom. The grey is a mix of the two, a balance. The Sith were the opposite of the Jedi. The Jedi used the light side of the Force whereas the Sith used the dark side.” 

“So does the Force have a mind of its own or can you like fully control it?”

“No, I manipulate it, sometimes I let it into my desires when it touches you as it does, that’s me. Usually, I am wanting to do what it’s doing while doing what I am doing.”

“So in my brain, the wanting to take over?”  
  
“That wasn’t something I was fully in control of. As the doctor said he believes we are too compatible and so the me that was in you, wanted to replace you. I do admit that I may have gotten carried away exploring your mind. In many ways it is the most intimate thing I can do to you, caress your mind with mine. I want to fill you with myself completely. Once I am done with my task, we can scour the galaxy for ancient texts to see if we can heal you, or strengthen you. So when we would like to be truly as intimate as can be—we can.” 

This was the first time in your conversation that it seemed that he had any emotion at all. Only when he was speaking about you. Your eyes softened towards him, you watched as his body relaxed. You wished he was here with you, every particle in your very being craved his presence. 

“When do you think you will be home,” you knew you probably wouldn’t get the answer you wanted to hear, but you desperately wanted him home. 

“I will be meeting with my mother in two days’ time. She has agreed to surrender herself to me. After that, I will return to you, Kitten. And there shall be nothing that can separate us ever again.” His body hunched forward, closer to you. Oh, how you wished you could kiss his lips, draw him in close, and never let him leave your side. 

“I wish you could be with me tomorrow, but I know that you have your duty and that I have mine. But I miss you so much,” a tear made its way down your cheek. Your heart threatening to make you release your ocean. 

His voice softened considerably, “Do not cry Kitten, I shall be back to you in three days time. And then you shall be Empress. We will be together for eternity.” You could hear the emotion in his voice, almost as if he was holding back his own tears. His face seemed to reflect this too, and he swallowed back his emotions. 

“I should let you go, you need to rest. And you need to follow my orders of coming back to me in one piece.” You wiped another tear that escaped. 

You saw him smirk and heard a deep chuckle escape his wide chest. “I shall do that. I need to look my best for my wedding. But you should rest as well, Kitten. I shall see you soon.” And the call ended. Once again you felt rather empty after his image disappeared. But he would be home soon, you would be with him soon. 

You mustered all of your strength and energy and got up. You headed to the dressing room to check on your appearance before you called all the staff back in to plan tomorrow’s assembly. They were in your chambers in a matter of minutes along with the Allegiant General. 

You paced up and down in front of them. Hands-on your hips as you were to on edge about, well, everything. You looked at Lieutenant Amala Graven. 

“I need you to send a letter to the orphanage to set back the date of my appearance until after I become Empress.” You hated setting back the date, but there was no time now. 

“Do we have any idea when that shall be,” asked Hux. 

“The Supreme Leader informed me he believes he will be back in three days’ time. His mother will be handing herself over in two days.” You hoped this to be true, you loathed being apart from him now. 

Graven pushed up her glasses before asking, “So the letter will state that you will arrange a visit after you are officially crowned Empress but I shall give no date as to when that shall be?”

“Yes,” you answered simply and continued pacing. “Now, what shall I say at the assembly?” You asked as a general question to them all. 

“M’lady you have no need to worry,” reassured Captain Mitaka. 

“Public speaking in front of billions of people isn’t exactly my forte.” And who’s strength was it, really? They weren’t in your shoes, they didn’t have this responsibility—you did. 

“Would you like to watch that film again,” asked Hux. You knew he was the only one that had a similar experience to you. He has spoken in front of billions of people, but he was born for this. It was in his blood.

“No, I just need to feel prepared.” You felt as if watching the film might actually give you a stutter you didn’t have. And you wanted to avoid that as much as possible. 

Night fell, and you felt better after planning everything with your staff. You let your ladies-in-waiting prepare you for bed as they helped do some preparations for tomorrow morning’s prep. Dr. Dabrini came to administer your nightly sleep medication. 

“Doctor, is there anything you could give me to ease my anxiety about tomorrow’s assembly?” Nervous and anxious were understatements about how you felt. 

“You shall do great tomorrow m’lady I know it, but I can arrange for an anti-anxiety pill with your breakfast tomorrow. But I do not suggest to make it a habit.” His calming voice and understanding eyes gave you a small comfort. 

“I don’t want it to be one either, but with the Supreme Leader not being at my side, I feel more anxious than ever,” you confided. 

“I understand. I will make the arrangement. I believe a droid should be responsible enough to deliver that medication.” He then left you alone to fall asleep. Thankful that the sleeping pill was so effective as you were sure that the butterflies in your stomach would have kept you up otherwise. Morning came quickly. 

Adlez and Olivia-Rose rushed you into the bathroom first thing. Drawing a bath, giving you the works. You felt as soft and as new as a baby when you stepped into the dressing room to get ready. Adlez picked out the perfect [dress](https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/ralph-lauren-collection-formal-dress-with-cape-item-13767559.aspx?fsb=1&storeid=9880&size=22). It reminded you of Kylo’s uniform and it was a comforting gesture. After all, you were supposed to be a united front for the First Order whether you were with each other or not. 

As promised the doctor had sent a pill for you to take with breakfast, something to help calm you down. Your nerves were alive with electricity, your stomach churning so bad that you barely ate your breakfast. You hoped the medication would kick in soon. 

You made your way down to the assembly hall, for the second time, but for the first time without Kylo. Trudgen and Kuruk stood before you in front of the double doors of the hall. Waiting for your command to enter. You sent your staff ahead of you. So now you were alone in the hall, with just them, but they were quiet guardian angels.  
  
You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to reach out to Kylo. You knew it was impossible, but it made you feel better. “I’m ready.” The doors opened, as did your eyes. You followed your black guardian angels up to the stage. You could feel the anticipation of the room on your tongue. Everyone was on the edge of their seats. 

This time the execution had already happened. And now you were to relay this information to them all. You received encouraging nods from the officers on stage. The knights fell back behind you, following you now, being imposing as you stepped up to the podium. All eyes were on you, and not just the ones in the room, but all across the galaxy. 

Your voice rang out with confidence, “Yesterday the Supreme Leader won one of the most important battles in the history of the galaxy. A great feat was accomplished. We are currently winning our war against the impure New Republic and their trivial Resistance. He, being the gracious Supreme Leader that he is, has sent us a transmission of the battle that took place. You will now have the honor of watching him fight in battle, like the many great warriors of the Empire before him.”  
  


You stepped back as the transmission played, being broadcasted to all corners of the galaxy. Before you all was the battle between Kylo and the scavenger Rey on what you assume to be the desert planet Pasaana.

You heard her voice first, “You don’t have to do this. I feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart. Ben, I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before the dark side. You will turn. I’ll help you. I saw it.” Her blue lightsaber lit as she was meters apart from him, in a battle stance. 

Kylo, sans helmet, let out a menacing laugh. “I saw something, too. Because of what I saw, I know when the moment comes, you will die. You will not stand by me. You are alone. I know what I have to do.” You watched as he ignited his lightsaber. Showing his monster to her, his beast. 

She was holding back tears, “Ben.” But calling out the name of his weaker half only made him angrier

“Let the past die. I’ll kill it if I have to. That’s the only way to become what I am meant to be. It’s time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels.... let it all die. I will rule with her and bring a new order to the galaxy.” He brought his arm up, taking aim at her as he spread his stance out, getting ready for the attack. 

“Don’t do this, Ben. Please don’t go this way.” Her tears were free flowing now. He was breaking her heart. 

“You know the truth. Say it. SAY IT! You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing. You mean nothing to me.” He was practically foaming at the mouth, his eyes wild with anger and destruction. 

She let out a cry as he rushed forward. He dominated the battle, striking with such strength and ferocity that you had never seen. You thought his sparing with the knights was impressive, but it paled in comparison to the battle that was unfolding on screen. He was winning until a blaster shot from off-screen grazed his arm. For a split second, he looked back at the person who fired the shot, and while he was distracted she stabbed him with her saber. 

  
You heard a massive gasp roll through the crowd if you didn’t know that Kylo was alright and if the medication wasn’t in your system, you would probably be sobbing at the sight. 

You watched as his attention snapped back to her, seemingly unfazed at his own impalement. Between clenched teeth, you heard him say, “Wrong move,” as he sliced her in half with one swift swing of his arm. Her saber deactivating completely, leaving him with a clean, cauterized hole in his abdomen. You watched as he knelt down over her, clenching his wound. “Pathetic,” was the last thing he said before the transmission ended. 

You stepped back up to the podium before your brain could fully register what you just saw. You simply said, “Long Live the Supreme Leader.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you to Ace_Tactician for Beta reading!


	69. Wedding Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have tissues ready. You've been warned.

“Long Live the Supreme Leader,” erupted the crowd in repeat. You stepped back from the podium as the First Order anthem played and salutes were given. After the anthem was finished the crowd fell into deafening chants of ‘Long Live the Supreme Leader’ and ‘Bow to the First Order.’ You quickly took your leave back to your chambers as Hux took over the assembly. He gave you a small nod as a sign of good work.

  
Kuruk and Trudgen flanked you, back all the way to your chambers. Your staff would be returning when the assembly was officially over, but you had the privilege of only needing to be there for your part. You informed the knights that you would like to be alone. 

You sat down and tried to process what you had just seen. Kylo killing her, killing Rey. The woman who thought she could take him away from you. If you were being honest with yourself what you witnessed should have appalled you, but it didn’t. There was something in you that was thrilled at him protecting you, at protecting your relationship with him. He was an unhinged demon sent to protect you, your own personal god. 

You were disturbed from your thoughts by your staff entering your chambers. There was a buzz of excited chatter among them. They apparently enjoyed watching the battle, just probably not as much as you did. You all quickly got back to work on ceremony arrangements. You were going to send a few of them down to the surface to monitor and report back on the repairs. 

Before lunch, the dressmaker arrived with your dress in her hands. It was covered in a bag, but you sent your staff away as you lead her to your dressing room. Only Adlez and Olivia-Rose were allowed to see it before the ceremony. Your jaw dropped when the dressmaker pulled it out of the bag. “It’s beautiful.” You ran your hand over the lace of sleeves. 

“I need you to try it on as there may need to be a few adjustments to be made,” said the old woman. But the dress fit like a glove. 

You felt like a goddess and you looked like one too. You were definitely going to stand out from the venue itself. You would look like a rare white Lilium amongst the scorched earth. A piece of delicately pure femininity amongst the masculine obsidian architecture. And next to Kylo you were going to look like the fair maiden that tamed the savage, bloodthirsty monster. A piece of pure moonlight cherished by the most menacing black as dusk creature to grace the galaxy. His own personal star, in the coldness of his grim night sky. 

When Adlez placed the veil on your head you instantly knew you were ready for this, ready to marry him, ready to be Empress. For the first time, you felt so sure that this would be your destiny. Your eternity with him. 

“Empress Ren,” said Adlez as she looked at you in the mirror. 

You met her eyes with a smile. “Yes.” 

All three of them sang praises of your beauty. You didn’t even want to take off the dress, but you knew you had to as it wasn’t time yet. With a saddening heart, you watched as Adlez hung it up on the back of the armoire. You would get to wear it in two days’ time, or so you hoped. But for now, you were finishing up plans for the ceremony. 

The dress was put away; you had your usual luncheon with members of the High Command, your lesson, dinner, and then getting ready for bed. Your schedule still feeling rather boring as the anticipation of the ceremony growing closer took over your every thought. You were prepared for bed by Adlez and Olivia-Rose, who both insisted that since it was so close to the ceremony that you needed to be pampered every night and every morning. Once they were done you tucked yourself into bed as Adlez handed you your sleeping pill, seeing as really you only needed someone there to make sure you took it after you were already lying down, for your safety. 

You woke up the next morning and were pampered again. You were to visit the surface again, just to see the preparations for yourself. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were going to join you as they needed to see the room you were going to get ready in. You wanted only them to see you in your dress before the ceremony, so that meant you had to get ready at the castle. 

The descent to the surface felt different this time. None of your party felt as anxious or worried as they did previously. When you exited the ship you were greeted by excited Alazmec. The translation droid told you that they were saying variations of ‘its nice to see you, goddess’ ‘welcome back’ ‘bless you’ and other joyous things. You told the droid to thank them, even if there was no way to directly say it. 

You approached the large imposing monument. The repairs on the outside seemed to be coming along. The Alazmec seemed to set up a shrine or offering table right outside the entrance. It made you smile; they seemed to be very happy that the castle was being repaired. The inside of the castle looked even better than the outside. The black obsidian was so shiny they were mirrors. They looked like they could hold your future, but in a way they did. 

You were shown to a side room that would be where you were supposed to get ready. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were moving about the room. You heard Adlez speak to an officer about getting a vanity and a full-length mirror. Which he promptly took as an order. You were very pleased at the progress of everything. You left them in that room to visit the ceremony space again. This time the room was immaculate. You imagined standing there with Kylo, being announced his wife, being crowned Empress. Wearing your dress. It was all starting to come together. 

You meandered around the room for a bit waiting for the rest of your landing party to join you. Once they did you made your way back to the shuttle and back to the _Supremacy._ You had a luncheon, your lesson, and then you were alone for dinner. Just after dinner, you decided to curl up by the fireplace upstairs before you would get ready for bed. Tomorrow would be your wedding day, and you wanted to enjoy the peace while you still had it, but that didn’t happen. 

You received a holo transmission from Kylo, but he wasn’t there exactly. You could see him, but it wasn’t your normal call, you almost wondered if this was another pre-recorded transmission like that from the day before with the scavenger, but you could see the little red light to signify that this was a live call. You called out to him but he couldn’t hear you; you kept watching what was happening. 

  
And then you saw her, his mother. She approached him slowly. “Please take off that mask. You don’t need it.” Her voice reflected the tiredness you saw in her eyes. 

He dwarfed her in size, “What do you think you’ll see if I do?” His approach towards her was less threatening than it was with Rey. He still looked like a beast before his prey, but this time he regarded her as more. 

She looked sad, “The face of my son.” Her voice was earnest. She had the face of a mother that was desperate to see her child once more. The son that was right in front of her. 

He took off the helmet. You could see her eyes water more as she looked upon his face. 

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish, just like his father. So I destroyed him. I am destroying him to protect her.” You could hear waves of emotion in his voice now. They were no longer being distorted by his helmet’s modulator. “Did you come here to say you forgive me? To save my soul?”

She shook her head, “I failed you, Ben, my son.” She was still using the name of the man he despised, the man he wanted to kill. 

“You did. And I’m sure you are. The Resistance will be dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last piece of Ben Solo. I’ve destroyed the scavenger, and soon you, and all of it.” He wildly gestured around him. You wished you could see inside his mind, just like he was able to see inside yours. Tears were freely falling from your face, you knew what was about to happen. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she was pleading to the devil now. But he couldn’t save her, he couldn’t save himself. He had made his decision long ago, and now he was fulfilling his destiny. 

“I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I want her free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” You lurched forward in your seat, on edge at what you were witnessing. Your heart constricting as you knew he needed to do it, but part of you was mourning for him. You wished there was another way. 

“You do know this won’t be the end of it? I know you have felt it too. Something is stirring. It needs to end.” She knew something you didn’t. You were worried. What was she saying? Was something worse on the horizon? 

He simply nodded and asked, “Will you help me?” He held out his hand.

“Of course,” she seemed to know what he was asking as she took his hand. He drew her into his arms. You watched as a son held his mother in one last embrace. 

“Thank you.” You saw the red flash of his saber. Unlike the scavenger, her ending was peaceful, there was no fight. You watched as he dropped to his knees, clutching her body to his. You heard a singular loud grief-filled sob before her body disappeared from his arms. With his back still to you, he picked up and put on his helmet. His shield from the outside world. He stood, and as he straightened his back the transmission ended. 

You felt cold, and you quickly looked at your wrist. The name Ben Solo was gone. Kylo Ren was now in bold black letters. He killed him. Ben Solo was dead. Kylo Ren was victorious. Your head grew dizzy with the realization and before you could do anything you blacked out. 

You awoke to a frantic Adlez holding you; you were on the floor. “M’lady are you all right? We’ve been trying to wake you for an hour now.” Your eyes were finally able to focus on those around you. 

“I’m fine. The Supreme Leader will be back for the ceremony tomorrow. I need to get some rest,” you responded to her. 

The doctor looked at you with a knowing eye. “Yes, in fact, I recommend that you do get some rest.” 

Adlez and Olivia-rose got you ready for bed, they drew you a relaxing bath, once that was over they helped you change. When you exited the bathroom, the doctor was still waiting patiently for you. 

“I’ll give her her medication tonight, you have an early morning tomorrow. Go get some rest,” said Dr. Dabrini to Adlez. 

She gave you both a look but followed orders.

“Now m’lady may I presume that your fainting spell had something to do with the Supreme Leader?” He knew the situation all too well to hide anything from him. 

“Yes, he’s finally killed Ben Solo, completely. I think that’s why I passed out,” you confided. 

“You are the first known case of this circumstance, so I wouldn’t be surprised, but you and the Supreme Leader are also more compatible biologically than any other match I’ve ever seen. I just wanted to confirm my suspicions.”vHe then gave you your sleeping pill, and you fell asleep quicker this time. You were out by the time he had left the bedroom. Your body’s exhaustion catching up to you. Another black, dreamless night. A comfort to you now. 

Adlez and Olivia-Rose singing “Here Comes the Bride” awoke you **.** This put you in a pleasant mood, to see them in such excellent moods. You were also just excited to see Kylo in person again. To see him as himself fully for the first time, to see him as just Kylo Ren. 

They got you into the bathroom for another bath, this time you were heavily inspected from head to toe. You were to be perfect today. And they would make sure of it. Once you passed inspection you were dressed in a[ long black wrap dress ](https://www.azazie.com/products/sway-black-wrap-maxi-dress/100369)for your travels of the day. As a treat, you had breakfast out on the patio complete with mimosas. You were only joined by them as the rest of your staff were to help with the preparations of the ceremony itself. 

After breakfast Adlez grabbed your dress and Olivia-Rose got everything else, you would need to get ready, and then you were off to the hangar to go down to the surface. Your excitement grows with every second. Exiting the ship you were once again greeted with cheers of excitement from the Alazmec, but now there were officers and ‘troopers among them. You felt like a princess. 

You entered the castle being quickly ushered into the side room where you were to get ready, “I will personally stick the Supreme Leader with a pin if he tries to see you before the ceremony. I’ve been informed that it is bad luck in your culture and I do not mess with superstitions,” said Adlez, shutting the door behind you. 

“Speaking of which,” said Olivia-Rose. “We have some things for you. The first being something old,” she produced a beautiful set of [earrings](http://www.anakinandhisangel.com/images/august/081215/padmerotscloak.jpg). They featured a small white pearl at the base, but attached to a long delicate silver chain was a larger black pearl. “These belonged to Queen Padme Amidala herself. They are one of the most sensible pieces of jewelry she owned.” 

“And this is something new,” said Adlez handing you a matching pearl necklace, with two small white pearls bookending a larger black one on a delicate silver chain. “A gift from the both of us.” 

You didn’t know what to say, but you started to choke up while trying to thank them. 

“Now, now, now. We shall have no tears before the wedding,” said Adlez, wiping them from your face. 

“Thank you both, I really appreciate it,” you were great full for both of them. You would be utterly lost in this whole experience if it wasn’t for them. 

“It's the least we can do,” said Olivia-Rose. You saw a sweet smile erupt on her face. But before any conversation could continue, there was a knock on the door. 

“Ah that should be the something borrowed,” said Adlez. The door opened to reveal Captain Phasma. 

“You should not need this, but here is there something borrowed. It is one of the few things from my planet that I brought with me to the First Order.” She handed you a small intricate knife. The gesture almost made you tear up again, but you held it in. 

“Thank you Phasma I hope I won’t have to use it either,” you gave her a knowing smirk. If anyone tried anything while Kylo was present, your knife would be the least of their worries.

“And finally something blue,” said Adlez. It was cheesy, but it was a beautiful [blue lace garter.](https://www.etsy.com/listing/524750951/blue-lace-bridal-garter-blue-garter?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=blue+lace+garter&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&frs=1&bes=1&col=1) “I think this is something the Supreme Leader will enjoy,” She said with a wink. 

You were thankful they paid attention to the small cheesy wedding tradition; it made you feel as if this was the plan all along. 

Adlez did your hair in an intricate but elegant style, something more sleek than the late queen ever wore. Olivia-Rose kept your makeup beautiful but simple, bringing out your natural beauty. Once they were done they helped you dress in your [wedding gown.](https://millanova.com/dress/jordan/) Applying finishing touches here and there before putting on your [cathedral length veil](https://affordableelegancebridal.com/gorgeous-floral-lace-embroidery-royal-cathedral-wedding-veil/). You had a bouquet made of all your favorite flowers; it reminded you of when you first met Kylo, the small but kind gesture he gave you. You were ready to go down the aisle.

Olivia-Rose slipped out of the room. She was to inform you when it was time. Adlez was giving you a reassuring pep talk that you really didn’t pay attention to. You were too focused on wanting to rush out and get this all over with. Olivia-Rose stuck her head in, giving you the go-ahead. Both of them guided you through the door into the adjoining hall that led to the ceremony space. It was completely empty, just like you hoped. You wanted everyone to see you at once. You wanted to take their breath away. 

You paused at the entrance to the space, Olivia-Rose and Adlez opened the doors for you revealing you to all that awaited your entrance, and most of all to Kylo. There was no traditional march music, you just strode confidently down the aisle to him, and to where Hux stood as the officiant. 

Kylo himself looked the same, but different in many ways. He wasn’t wearing his mask or his usual uniform. He was wearing a [black coat-like garment](https://men.deepakperwani.com/classic-black-sherwani) that featured embroidery that made him look like the galaxy himself. Once again his hair was braided out of his face, and a single gold circlet crown adorned his head. He looked stunning. 

The ceremony itself was just the common practice one from your planet, with all the to have and to hold and in sickness and in health vows. Really, you couldn’t focus on anything other than Kylo. His black eyes searching your face, holding your own eyes hostage. You remember the exchange of rings. Kylo’s being a simple black band with a silver cut out that matched the shape of yours. Your ring was a simple silver band with a large black jagged stone, it reminded you of Kylo. 

You also remember the kiss, after Hux said the words “You may now kiss the bride,” Kylo scooped you up into his arms so fast, his lips crashing down onto yours. You could tell he couldn’t really take it any longer, he needed to be with you. He dipped you back in the old fashion way and deepened the kiss. Most couples had a chaste first kiss as a married couple, you did not, but you were not complaining. After you heard Hux clear his throat Kylo brought you back up to vertical and ended the kiss. You had no idea how long your first kiss was, but you didn’t care.

After the kiss was your coronation, which also went by in a rather a blur. You remember having to kneel in front of Kylo as he deemed you Empress, and you remember the removal of your veil and the placing of your crown. Unlike Kylo, you had a [proper crown,](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2220/8059/products/product-image-377038539_900x.jpg?v=1571609977) one that made you feel like the Empress you were. You also remember being announced Empress and hearing a roaring cheer. 

You remember taking Kylo’s arm and walking down the opposite hallway to where you came from. You hadn’t explored this part of the castle. Suddenly you remember that you never planned any sort of reception after the wedding, but upon entering the room he led you to, there was no need for one. 

There was a small buffet spread, much like the one when you first met him, but you were in a rather elegant bedroom this time. Your anxiety spiked. 

“Would you like to eat first,” asked the man in question himself. He could probably feel how nervous you were. It was practically radiating off of you. 

In the back of your mind, you had expected a reception before your wedding night. There was always a reception. You felt stupid. “Yes, please.” You were attempting to stall. You haven’t seen him in over a week, let alone really even touch him—kiss him. You felt like a typical blushing virgin at the whole ordeal, but you weren’t. 

He guided you to the food, both of you choosing a rather small amount of the rich selection. You were worried that if you ate too much, it might make you sick with your current spiked anxiety. You stuck to light foods, enough to take the edge off of your worries, but not enough to make you look and feel heavy. When you both finished your food Kylo took your plate from you and set it aside. He then took your hand and guided you to the bed, he paused at the foot of the bed and in a swift but suave motion he brought your hand to his lips where he graced it with a kiss. His lips kissed along the back of your hand and eventually found their way to your wrist, to his name. With hungry eyes he stepped closer to you, enchanting you with his overwhelming presence. 

As he drew you in close to his lips found that familiar place behind your ear, his place, his mark. His hand found the small of your back as he pushed you flush against him, that hand trailed its way down to your ass where he held you in place. You could feel him still for a moment before his other hand raised your chin up, so your lips barely met his. “I have waited for this moment for a thousand lifetimes, Kitten.” Something about the way he said his pet name for you at that moment had you melting like putty in his hands. 

You felt his hand come back up to the bare opening of your dress; he started to unbutton it. His lips brushed over yours before he said, “Actually, I’ll let the Force handle this.” You then felt his hand leave your back, to cup the side of your face. An all too familiar presence then started unbuttoning the dress for him. You attempted to return the favor, but you struggled, earning a chuckle in response as Kylo assisted you. 

His hands guided the dress down your arms, and he took a step back to assist you with stepping out of your gown. You then led him to the bed, you in just your bra, underwear and garter, and him in just the black slacks. He looked down at your little lace garter in confusion, toying with it before he attempted to hook a finger through it but you stopped him. “It’s actually a tradition that you... remove it with your teeth.” You could feel yourself blush as you suggested it. 

He cocked a brow, with a smirk dancing on his lips, “With my teeth?”

You eagerly nodded, hoping he would take the hint and indulge you. When his head dipped down to your thigh, you knew you had won a small victory. You felt him kiss the tender flesh of your inner thigh before he nibbled around the edge of the garter, nothing too harsh, but more of a tickle. You then felt him take it between his teeth, and he play growled at you causing you to gasp, as he held eye contact as he slid the piece of lace down your leg and off your foot. 

He crawled back up to your face with the piece of discarded lace still in his mouth. He hovered directly over your face as he spoke with it between his teeth, “Did I do it right?”

You let out a cry and agreed feverishly, you could see your blush now extending down to your chest as you got a heated feeling between your thighs, where close to where his face just was. You looked up at him from under your lashes, trying to maintain any semblance of innocence you had in front of this hungry beast. His lips attacked yours, in a familiar but new fashion. Now he had an end goal that was attainable, his desire bleeding into the kiss. His hands winding into your hair, like a prayer on the wind. You braced a hand against his strong broad chest and wound another in his hair, feeling the back of his skull under your fingertips. 

Somewhere in between kissing you and making fresh new marks down your neck, he had managed to unhook your bra, chucking it somewhere behind him. His large calloused hands roamed your bare chest, squeezing and testing each breast in his hands. His fingers teasing and pinching your nipples, causing deep moans, where he used the opportunity to shove his tongue down your throat. Eventually, his lips made their way back down your neck and to your breasts, taking their time as they nipped the tender flesh beneath them. As eager as you assumed him to be, he was taking his time. As if he was committing every individual pore to memory. 

You soon felt his wet tongue against your nipple, licking, teasing you, before his lip enclosed around it. And you felt a pleasurable pressure as he sucked and teased your tit. You threw your head back in a moan as your hips met his, grinding against his. You heard a growl like a groan from deep within his chest, “So you like that Kitten?” It was a question that really didn’t need to be answered as he could see, feel the reaction it had on you. His eyes ravenous as the stared at you from his position at your chest. You replied by rolling your pelvis against his. 

He switched his attention to your other breast, doing the same as he did before, only this time he tentatively bit down this caused you to yelp in surprise. While you were distracted he hooked a finger into the band of your thong and pulled it down off your body, using the Force to fully remove it from your equation. His lips came crashing down onto yours and dominated you as they always did. He continued to bruise your lips as he feasted upon your tender flesh. He took his time as he made his way back to his branding mark behind your ear, making sure it was as dark as it was before he left. While one hand was toying with your hair, keeping it out of his way, the other took one of yours in his as he guided you to his pants. Assisting you as you fumbled to get them off of him. Both of you eventually gave up as he used the Force to rid his body of them. 

And then you were bare under him, just as he was over you, his gaze locking you in place, “Would you like me to be sweet or would you like to meet the beast you married?” His eyes were pooling with desire and power. He was starving and only you could sate him. 

Both options thrilled you as you could feel the slick starting to pool between your legs. You had been denying him for too long. “Are those my only options?” You fluttered your lashes at him, there was no need to flirt, but you couldn’t help yourself. It boosted your confidence knowing that he only had passion for you—only you. 

“Yes, one or the other kitten.” A smirk gracing his plump, bruised lips. He was doing a wonder on himself as he was worshiping you. You quickly glanced down between you, his hard cock close you your tender wet cunt. You wanted him. 

“How about I take sweet first and if I’m up for it afterward, I will _tame_ the beast?” He was too close, yet too far away. You just wanted him to do something about your lust, your desire. You wanted _him._

His smirk disappeared for a moment, as a deep desire swirled in the dark pools of his eyes. “As you wish,” his voice probably coming out more hoarse than he intended.

One of his hands fell you onto your belly and slowly made its way down to your crotch. His finger slowly, tantalizingly stroked you, causing a gasp to escape your lips. His face buried against your neck as he chucked, “Purr for me, Kitten.” The gasps turned into moans as his strokes became circles, teasing your clit, making you squirm with pleasure. He then dipped a finger into your sopping wet entrance. You gasped again, this time arching your back and throwing your head back with want and need. 

“Please,” you begged. Your body screaming for him, wanting him inside you. 

“Please what Kitten,” he teased. Knowing full well what you wanted. 

“Please Kylo, I want you. I need you.” Your brain struggling to find the right words, any words as he thrust his finger in and out of you, teasing a second, long thick finger at your hole. 

“You want me to what Kitten? What do you need from me, say it?” A second finger fully joining the first scissoring inside of you before he teased a third.

“I want you...” but before you could finish your sentence, he thrust a third finger inside of you, pounding into. 

He chucked at your reaction to him, “You want me to what Kitten? I won’t give it to you unless you ask.” 

“Please.” Thrust. “Fuck.” Thrust.” Thrust. “Me.” Thrust. “KYLO!” You practically yelled his name as his fingers pounded inside of you, your breasts bouncing at force the motion.

His lips grazed yours before he teased, “Well since you asked so nicely.” This man was going to be the death of you in more than one way. You whimpered as he removed his hand, but you weren’t able to complain for long as his dick teased your entrance. He lined himself up before slowly inserting his large cock. Your body had previously stretched to his fingers, but this was a different sensation altogether. 

He filled you completely, owning up to the title of being more beast than man. Once he was fully sheathed in your hot wet cavern, a hand moved your hair from your face. “Tell me when to move, Kitten.” He was letting you get used to his sheer size. Your walls clamping down around him as you tried to adjust. Your body enjoying the pleasure of being _full._

You nodded as words failed you. He took your hips in his hands as he slowly started to fuck into you. His lips finding yours, attempting to kiss you before you both abandoned the idea, to just rest foreheads against each other, panting as one connected being. You could tell that this was taking all of his self-control. He was being rather gentle with you. Asking if you could handle more before fucking into you harder. His pace speeding up and his hips pounding harder. 

In the end, his hands abandoned your hips as he braced himself against the headboard. The entire bed shaking at the impact of his thrusts. His groans and moans of pleasure sounding more animalistic than anything.

You felt the pressure of euphoria building, threatening to make you cum. “Kylo, I…” you attempted to warn him. He took this as a signal to pound into you even harder, which you hadn’t thought was possible, but you should stop underestimating his sheer strength and animalistic nature. Your walls squeezed around his cock as the waves of orgasm washed over you, screaming his name. You heard him snarl in pleasure above you as his thrusts lost their steady pace, joining you in your nirvana. You heard your name ghost his hips as he fucked hard into you before his pace slowed down considerably before he came to a halt. His freshly orgasmed cock still inside you. His forehead resting against yours, as you tilted your head up to kiss him, which for the first time he lazily returned, lacking his usual eager vigor. 

“Thank you,” you whispered into his lips. Reveling in your post-sex glow. Your body felt new again. 

“Mmhmm,” was his initial response as he was gathering his breathing. His lips returning a kiss, as you could feel his cock stiffening within you, “Now for the beast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have committed sacrilege, but it's May the Fourth and I should go out with a bang.


	70. A Guard Dog and His Kitten

He pinned your arms above your head, leaving you vulnerable but you weren’t scared. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, not unless you asked, or if it was to protect you. “Do you want to meet the beast, Kitten?” His eyes were black pools of obsidian, rich in lust and raw brutality.

He kept your arms pinned to the bed with the Force, taking a rather predatory position being propped up by his hands. All you could do was nod in response, arousal high making brain all fuzzy. He pulled his re-hardened cock out of you and hastened down the bed. He forced your legs wide open his face hovering inches above your now empty cunt. His eyes wild with animalistic fever. 

You swallowed back nerves as he maintained eye contact with you before he lowered himself down to meet your tender flesh. If you didn’t trust him as much as you did you would have sworn that he would have actually cannibalized you as he bit and licked your swollen folds. He attacked you with such enthusiasm and aggression you thought you were going to faint. It was like you were the first meal he has had in ages. His nose burying itself between your delicate tissue, his long tongue thrusting in and out of you while his teeth nipped and grazed your swollen flaps. It all felt so good as you barely choked out his name before he lapped up any and all of your juices like he was a dehydrated man in a desert and you were the only water source. 

When he was finished his chin grazed up your belly still shiny from your cum, you were definitely his prey now. “Now my Kitten has a clean pussy.” His eyes black with a hunger that only you could satisfy. He gripped your hips so hard you knew he was going to leave bruises. You both weren’t even finished, and you knew you were going to look like you had been savagely beaten instead of worshiped. He lined himself up to your hole as his lips were against your ear, your hands still held in place above you by the Force. Without warning, he thrust into you, his grunts and groans directly next to your ear as he picked up the unrelenting pace. “Purr for me, Kitten. Let the galaxy know what monster is fucking you.”

You tried to comply by vocalizing your moans and pants. Your brain not keeping up, but why should it? His pace and sheer force picked up as he braced himself against the headboard using it as better leverage to pound into you. If you thought he was using his full force before, it was nothing compared to now. You could hear the bedframe cracking under his strength, as you took him completely. His head abandoned your neck as he attempted to mark every square inch of your body. You were his, and you were going to look like you were owned by a beast. In a flash he flipped you over, taking you from behind, where his cock could pound into you deeper. He was truly an animal now as his heavy balls slapped against your bare clit as he hooked your legs around him. You were so full and were being pounded so hard that you felt like you were going to pass out, just as his hips stuttered and his grip returned to your hips. 

Your orgasm crashed around you as his warm cum filled you. “Ngh, Kitten,” was all he said before he collapsed next to you catching his breath, pulling you into his arms as he slipped out of you. He played with your hair as he was coming back down to reality. “You were made for me, Kitten,” his voice husky and thick from his post fuck high, gravelly from all of his grunting and groaning. 

You were flush against him as his hands roamed your tender bruised body, his hand reaching your sore crotch. You grabbed his hand as you were sore and overstimulated, “Aww has Kitten had enough,” he teased. But that didn’t stop him as he dipped a finger into you, coating it in your combined juices. 

You watched with dilated pupils as he brought the finger to his lips tasting what the two of you created. “Mmm perfection. Would you like a taste?” You couldn’t answer as your brain was failing to work. But he brought his hand back down and dipped another finger into your sore blown out cunt, slicking it with both of your mixed cum before he brought it up to your lips. You took the finger into your mouth keeping eye contact with him as you sucked the digit clean. But he was right, you both tasted heavenly. He chuckled as he pulled his hand back from you which caused you to whimper in response. 

As he groped and massaged your breasts, “We should get you cleaned up, Kitten.” You whined as he left you.

“Now, now I’ll only be gone for a minute. I am going to draw  _ us _ a bath.” You watched as he disappeared into the bathroom, his big flaccid cock swinging between his legs. He might be big, but he was still a grower. How that was even possible you had no idea, but you weren’t complaining. He was part beast for sure. And like he said, he returned after only a minute and picked you up off the bed bridal style. It all reminded you of Tarzan and Jane as he carried your naked body into the bathroom with ease. 

He lowered you gently into the tub before joining you. Instead of keeping eye contact with him, you eyed his dick as he lowered himself into the water, which earned a chuckle in response from him. You hated your body in that moment, as your pussy felt too weak to take him again, even though you wanted to. He beckoned you forward with a finger, “Come here, Kitten.” And you scrambled to get closer to him. 

He helped you sit, not on his lap but on his hard abs. Your cunt sore and throbbing at the closeness of his cock. It was begging you not to be used, as it needed to rest if you ever dreamed of walking again. But Kylo guided your hands to his thick length, showing you how to make it hard again. 

“How are you doing this,” you asked because he was like no other man you had slept with before. 

“Well, I’ve spent many years training my body to comply with my will, with the Force and without. And when I want to fuck, it responds on its own.” He then came close to your ear and whispered, “It likes you too much to want to stop.” He caused goosebumps along your back. 

It took both of your hands around him to even attempt to hold all of him, but you still failed. He was now standing at attention, his veins deep and purple under the water, but his head was an angry red. You did your best to jerk him off but there was too much of him, which caused you to whine. But then an idea popped into your head. “Can I suck you off?”

You heard him groan in pleasure, “If that’s what you want Kitten. But you are doing a good job.” He was right, his cock was responding well if the sounds he was making were to be believed. 

“I want to suck you off. It’s only right that I return the favor.” An orgasm for an orgasm, you only hoped you could return the favor as well as he did. 

“As you wish.” He then lifted you off of him before he lifted himself up onto the edge of the tub. You were now face to cock, he was at the perfect height. 

Another idea popped into your head as you took his shaft into both of your hands. You eyed the tip curiously before you looked up to his eyes with a smirk plastered on your face. You moved in and gave a kitten lick to the red, swollen tip of his dick. Which earned a deep guttural moan, “Kitten.” You took this as a sign to continue. You kitten licked and sucked his head, using your hands to pump his shaft. Occasionally you sucked down the side of his length, giving special attention to his big balls, sucking one and then switching to the other which caused him to white knuckle grip the edge of the tub. You then used one hand to massage and cup his balls while the other kept pumping his shaft. You then attempted to swallow him as far as you could, which wasn’t even halfway as he was so big. He kept his hips still, all that self-control training coming to use. 

You sucked and bobbed as long as you could before you relented to just sucking the head. Which he seemed perfectly content with, but he mostly preferred the kitten licks as they cause his hips to move slightly, trying to add friction to what you were doing. You took his head in your mouth as he was cumming, trying to swallow his large load down, but before he finished his hips stuttered and his head slipped free, causing him to shoot some onto your face and chest painting you with his milky white cum. Marking you as his. “Kitten,” was all he could say as he looked down at you covered in his seed. You kept pumping his shaft, knowing there was still more as he ejected one last bit, right on to your lips, which you happily licked up. He slumped back and groaned out, “You are going to be the death of me.” 

Still covered, but now smirking you asked, “So was that good?” You didn’t need an answer to that question, you already knew the answer, but you liked teasing him, anyway.

“You’re the one covered in my cum, you tell me,” he said before he slipped back down into the water. You faced him and climbed up onto him, your chest meeting his. 

“Do you like me covered in your cum?” By the way he was looking at you, this would be how he would want you every single minute of every single day. 

He kissed you before licking his own juices off of your face, “Of course. You look like a goddess covered in it.” He then licked down your chest, cleaning you up with his tongue. While his tongue was still covered in his own excitement, he kissed you sharing himself with his tongue, somehow the flavor was heavenly.

Eventually, your kissing died down as he grabbed a sponge and soap to actually clean you both up with. He took his time cleaning you, being ever so careful near your pussy, with the gentlest of touches. Spending a lot of time admiring your chest and ass before handing you the sponge to clean him up.

You spent your time admiring his perfectly sculpted body. It was like the gods picked a statue to come to life. You took great care cleaning around his fresh, but healing wounds. Running your fingers along his scars, trying to memorize every beauty mark, the angel kisses. Taking your time to properly clean his cock, but not too much as to excite it again. 

You then took turns washing each other’s hair, Kylo helping to undo your hairstyle from the wedding, even though it was a wreck already, and you unbraiding the crown of his head. You loved the gentle intimacy you were sharing at this moment. Your taming of the beast. Many sweet and gentle kisses were exchanged before you were both clean. He helped you up out of the tub and handed you a towel, as he started to dry you off while paying attention to every detail of your body, his fingers ghosting over the fresh bruises he left just over an hour ago. You dried him off, appreciating his size and carefully, again, dried off his cock without trying to excite him, but it was tempting.

When you were both finished, you turned to go back to the bedroom, legs ultimately failing you, but he stopped you and hoisted you up onto the vanity, “Not so fast Kitten. I promised that I would take extra special care of you.” He then grabbed a container of body butter from behind you and started to massage it into your skin. Moisturizing you, keeping you soft for his touch. Your body couldn’t help but respond to it, wetness returning to your broken for now cunt. His hands made sure to cover every inch of exposed flesh even lifting you onto himself as he massaged your ass. His fingers ghosting a little too far for your liking at the moment. But then he carried you back to the bedroom.

“Do I not get to take care of you?” You were rather disappointed that you didn’t get to massage him as well.

“Kittens and guard dogs have different needs. I will be fine, but I need to keep you silky and smooth. After all, all the best kittens are.” His words caused you to blush as he set you down on a chair. And he brought you your black wrap dress, but this time you wore nothing underneath it. Once you were dressed he pulled his pants back on, something thrilled you knowing that he preferred to go commando 24/7. The thought of his bare cock only being one layer away was something that sparked arousal in your belly. 

You watched as he picked up your underwear, bra, and garter and shoved them into his pocket. “Someone will be by to pick up your dress, but these are mine.” That spark turned into a flame as he said this. Something about his possessive nature now turned you on, before it seemed rather annoying, but now you wanted nothing more than to be claimed his for all to see. 

He then picked up your jewelry and crown and helped you put them on. He left his own with your dress before he put his shirt back on. “Now let us return back to the ship where you can get some rest before we christen our bed.” He leaned down to kiss you before lifting you back up into his arms. He carried you out the door and made his way back to the ship. You buried your face into his neck, enjoying his natural scent. 

Out of the corner of your eye in the main room, you could see some officers milling about, apparently, there was a sort of reception that you two didn’t join. You lifted your head for a moment to look at all of them before you spotted Pryde with a sickening knowing smirk on his face. Any arousal that was built up in you dissipated like an extinguished flame. You buried your face back into Kylo’s protection. 

Once you exited the room, you asked in a whisper, “I didn’t know that Pryde was going to be invited to the wedding.” 

Kylo seemed to get the hint and sensing your disgust, “As Empress, you now don’t need an excuse to execute him.” He said it in such a blunt way and it surprised you causing you to look at him. 

“Really? Someone should have told me ages ago, I would have done this sooner,” you joked. 

A grin painted his face as he teased, “So promise of my cock wasn’t enough? You needed capital punishment too. If I would have known I would have told you on day one.” He was teasing you, but it all felt good. 

This time it was Kylo’s Command Shuttle that picked you up, and just you two no one else for a change. He strapped you in, and this time it felt intimate again, before strapping himself in next to you. 

“Mmmm a kitten and her guard dog,” you mused. “See you are no monster, just a guard dog.” Your dream replaying side by side with the fresh memory of him fucking you. 

He hummed, “I am still a monster, but I am a guard dog that loves his Kitten.” His fingers carded through your hair. 

You paused heart pounding, “You love me?” He had yet to speak the word out loud. But you knew how he felt about you, but hearing the word made you feel something on a whole other level than anything you had felt before. 

He frowned. “Of course. Why would I have done all of this for you if I didn’t,” he gestured around him, hinting at the whole situation.

“You have never said it, the word love, but I didn’t want to push you. I know it isn’t easy for you.” You took his hand in yours, running your hand over your name on his wrist.

He took your face in his hands and said it completely, “I love you, Kitten.” 

The world melted away as you said it back, “I love you too, Kylo.” 


	71. The Answers You Were Seeking

The ship came into the hangar, so you were finally back on the  _ Supremacy.  _ You attempted to get up, but your legs were failing you. This amused your guard dog. He came face to face with you, “Does Kitten need help?” He seemed to enjoy teasing you. 

You just held your arms out in a silent demand. Enjoying the feeling of him picking you up in his strong arms. Inhaling his natural scent as you tucked your face into his neck to hide from the outside world. You wanted to stay in your little bubble with him for as long as possible. “If I am an Empress, shouldn’t I be carried everywhere, always?” You imagined him carrying you.

He chuckled, “That can be arranged if you want it, but you other royal carriers might disappoint you.” You felt his hands shift, holding you more securely against his chest as he entered the hallway.

As much as you tried hiding your face and avoiding the people you could hear them shuffling out of the way and saying “Supreme Leader” and “Empress.” You just wanted him to look at you, him alone. You were his, and no one else’s. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you entered your chambers. 

Instead of heading directly to the bedroom, he brought you into the dining room where dinner was waiting for you. It was at that moment that you realized that you had worked up quite an appetite. Your nerves from before your consummation had completely dissipated. He set you down, in front of a glorious-looking feast. “I thought that a little Kitten like you would be hungry after playing with her guard dog.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he teased you. 

You tried to put a poker face as you teased him back, “We didn’t exactly play.” No, you didn’t play, not per se. 

“Didn’t you have fun,” it was more of a tease than a question. He knew the answer, but you two were just in a rather flirty mood. 

“Oh, I had more than fun.” It’s true you did have more than just fun. 

He leaned forward and scooped you up into his arms and onto his lap, “You’re too far away. You’re a Kitten that is meant to curl up on my lap.” He buried his head into the crook of your neck, delicately kissing the bruised skin there. 

You chuckled at his neediness, “And who set me down there, hmm?” You buried your face into his chest. For the next hour, you spent time feeding each other, slowly with many kisses exchanged for bites of food. Once finished his hands roamed your body while your arms were wrapped around his neck. A hand made its way down to your bruised heat, testing the delicate flesh. You winced and whimpered at the feeling, still sore from you earlier escapades. 

You could see Kylo contemplating your reaction to his touch. “We’ll have to get some bacta on that if we want to have any more playtime tonight.” He grazed his nose against you affectionately. He then carried you into the bathroom and set you on the vanity where he untied your dress, exposing you to him. He reached behind you and into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of what you assumed to be bacta. It was a warm liquidy, gelly substance that he carefully applied to your bruised cunt. 

You thought the sensation to be rather unpleasant. It wasn’t like lube, but more like aloe slathered everywhere down there making you feel rather gross and not quite sticky. “When should I be healed enough?” You had no idea how this worked. This was an entirely new concept for you. 

He thought for a moment before responding. “An hour to two max. You aren’t bleeding and as far as I can tell you haven’t torn anything, just bruised and overstimulated. It’s best to let it work undisturbed so, for now, we will have to do something else.” He then carried you out of the bathroom with your dress still hanging open. His eyes seemed to dance across your marked flesh as he took you upstairs to the lounge where you both settled down on a couch. 

His arms wrapped around you keeping your against him, hands teasing and ghosting over your bruises. Almost as if he was silently worshiping you, appreciating the offerings he had left all over your body. You had a couple of hours to kill before you went back to your rounds of lovemaking. “Can you tell me why you didn’t tell me that making me Empress meant that we were going to get married? Because you just up and left before explaining that.” You wanted some answers, you just hope you could tiptoe around him so you wouldn’t ignite his anger. 

His fingers wrapped themselves in your hair, his palm against your skull, and his lips against your temple. “Because I thought you might say no, so I didn’t ask. I was worried you would leave me Kitten, and then I would have no one to guard.” You could hear the hint of fear and sadness still lingering in his voice. You were the only thing he truly had in this galaxy. You knew it would devastate you as much as him if either of you left. It was better to be bound to each other than to live without the other half to your soul. 

You turned your head and tilted up to kiss him, “I’ll accept that answer.” More kisses before asking, “How did your fight with the scavenger go? I watched the transmission, but I want to know how you thought it went and what your feelings are.” You knew there was much more to the fight than what you saw in the transmission. You knew there was a bit more to their ‘relationship’ in general that he hasn’t told you yet. 

He let out a deep sigh as he turned to look away from you, to look at the ceiling while lost in thought. “It wasn’t easy trying to find her. Her friends tried to stay one step ahead of us and it worked until it didn’t.” You now fully turned to face him. 

“The fight itself wasn’t that difficult until the defective stormtrooper shot at me and distracted me. She stabbed me, but she did not hit any vital organs thankfully. Managing to impale me between my liver and stomach. But as you can see I am alright…” he then trailed off as if lost in thought. 

You brought a hand up to caress his face, trying to bring his attention back. “But what about her motivation? She wanted you to join her, to leave me.” You almost wish the vision in front of your blaster was actually her, so you could have killed her instead of him. He has already seen lifetimes of battles and death, and you just wished you could take just one away from him, to save him from that pain.

His voice became slightly agitated, “Yes, its true she wanted  _ him _ to join her, but  _ I  _ didn’t want to. The only person I want in the universe is you. She believed she knew Ben Solo, but she didn’t because he still wanted you, he would have never have gone with her if it meant losing you. She was lost in her own delusion. I, Kylo Ren, have always wanted you, and just you.” His confession made your heart soar. You rolled onto your side and rested your head against his chest. Showing him how much you cared. 

“I’ve always wanted you too. It’s why I am here, it’s why I have stayed. I don’t want anyone else.” You felt his hand rub up and down your back, making you feel all warm inside. You hated that you needed to break this tender moment with another heavy subject, but if you didn’t do so now, you don’t know when you would be able to get the chance again.

“But what about your mother? She just wanted her son to come home.”

You could see his demeanor shift, this wasn’t a conversation he really wanted to have, “In the end, it was something I would always have to do. It was always going to be Ben Solo or myself. She knew this too. She lost her son long ago, this was just the final act. In the end, I think she realized that I am still her son. She and Han Solo may have been gifted Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren is the man they  _ made.”  _ You could hear the anger and hurt in his voice even if you weren’t looking at his face. The man lying next to you had killed both of his parents, to be with you, to make Kylo Ren triumphant. 

Your memory recalled her words, her warning, “But what was she saying about this not being the last of it? What is coming?” To say you were worried was an understatement. 

He peered down at you, his eyes were like black steel with his brows furrowed and his lips hard in a solid line, “I do not exactly know yet, but I feel it in the Force. Something powerful has awoken, and I need to stop it, to protect you.” His hands grabbed your face, “I will protect you. I had a feeling on Mustafar that a key might be there, I will find it. I will find out who it is, end them and I will protect you.” 

His reassurances were sexy, something about his need to keep you safe was something that aroused you. Which wasn’t a great feeling at the moment, as your wetness mixed with the gell and made you uncomfortable. You whimpered at the feeling, your belly warm but your brain disgusted. This caused Kylo to reach between your legs, testing the tissue there and it seemed to pass inspection as there was no more pain. Only a pleasured gasp escaped your lips as his fingers stroked you. “Hmm, it seems like you are ready to go Kitten. Shall I go clean you up so we can play again?” You let out a whimper in response, as his fingers still roamed your heated flesh.

He picked you up and carried you down to the bedroom instead of the bathroom. He set you down on the bed and left you to walk into the bathroom. Your body did not like the separation from him, as you whined as he left you. He turned on a switch in your brain which caused you to be needy for his touch. He returned with a damp washcloth and proceeded to wipe away the bacta, his stokes and attention to detail caused your slick to almost gush out of you at the attention. You rolled your hips up trying to cause friction, this caused him to chuckle. “Needy aren’t we Kitten?” You heard a wet slap as the washcloth was abandoned on the floor. 

He quickly lifted you, ridding you of the wrap dress entirely before his fingers began to massage your clit in circular motions. Your hips attempting to follow his rhythm. “Can we try something Kitten?” He seemed to be the coherent one between the two of you. All you could do was nod in response, words failing you. 

His touch ceased on your clit, on your cunt all together, which caused you to cry out in frustration. But then he brought your wrist to his lips. His name was now being kissed and sucked like the many, many love bites that littered your body. Suddenly it was if your body didn’t need anything else. You cunt seemed to pulse in pleasure at the sensation. Reacting as if the most wonderful touches were being performed on you, but they weren’t. Kylo was just nipping and sucking on his name on your wrist. It was like the ultimate key to getting you to orgasm as it didn’t take long before you were seeing stars. Your back arching as you came, Kylo’s name on your lips. You felt like you were going to blackout again, but Kylo’s lips on yours brought you back from the edge of it. 

It took you a few minutes to regain full consciousness again, full coherence. When you did you threaded your hands into those dark raven locks and deepened the kiss rolling your hips up to meet his, which somehow were now completely bare. In your lack of awareness, he stripped down to his nakedness and your hips rolled up to meet his hardening cock. “That was amazing,” you said rather out of breath. 

A smirk graced your lover’s face, “Mmm I could tell.” His hand reached back down to your now messy cunt, “You are absolutely sopping wet Kitten.” He kissed you hard, as one of his fingers entered your wet hole, earning a moan from you. “I guess we shall have to do that often. But let’s see if you can return the favor.” 

He flipped you both over; you were now straddling his thighs, his cock in front of you. You saw its angry red, swollen head, and the shine of pre-cum on the tip. You wanted to eat it rather than ignore it, but he brought his wrist to your lips. You were supposed to mark your name as he did his. And you complied. 

Kylo hissed in pleasure at the sensation, his hips rolling up, his dick bouncing. You continued to lick, nibble, and suck on your name. You even went as far as tracing the letters with your tongue. If you thought you were a mess, then he was a disaster. Moaning and panting your name and nickname. His hips trying to find fiction for his cock. It didn’t take long for his hips to stutter and his cum to shoot out in pulses as he orgasmed. Your name a shout on his lips, his voice haggard. His cum painted both of your chests with the splattery aftermath. 

You decided to be a lady and clean his semi-soft cock with your tongue before you traveled up to his chest, rubbing your breasts against his, smearing the milky white substance. When you were satisfied with the completion of yours and his painting you licked up the evidence from his chest before flopping down next to him and beckoning him to do the same. He took his sweet time as he licked up and down your breasts, making sure both nipples were absolutely glistening with saliva. 

One of his fingers tested your hole again as he positioned himself over you. “Mmm Kitten, you will be the death of me,” he said as he pushed his index finger into you, to his knuckle. He hooked into you and teased your walls. 

You moaned back. “Death by sex doesn’t sound so bad to me,” you mused as he plunged another finger in you, trying to get you ready to fully take him again. Without this prep, you would surely tear right in two. 

You heard him chuckle, the sound you loved so much, the sound you were pretty sure you were the only one who got to hear it on such a regular basis. “I suppose you’re right. If I had to choose how to go out. Dying with my cock buried in your tight cunt would be the best way.” His voice was sultry now, a velvety sort of sex that could get you to do almost anything. 

It didn’t take long for him to get you ready. Your body responds quickly because he was right, you were made for him. He lined himself up once more, teasing you with his engorged head, just pushing your flaps around and only putting the tip in. “Please, just fuck me Kylo. I can’t take it anymore,” you whined earning a quick deep thrust from his hips, fully sheathing himself in you. You threw your head back in pleasure and released a loud moan. 

It didn’t take very long for him to pick up a steady rhythm of his hips snapping consistently. You attempted to help him by meeting his thrusts, but he was buried so deep inside you it didn’t really matter. “So… tight..” was what he struggled to get out as his thrusting deepened. You could feel his cock twitching between your walls of pleasure. Enjoying the feeling of being fully engulfed in your heat. 

You attempted to respond to him, “So… BIG,” you shouted as he found that spot, your g spot. The head of his cock relentlessly pounding into it, causing you to see stars. His pace and power only picked up as he was locked on target. The sounds of skin slapping and panting filling up the room. 

You could feel the orgasm starting, “Kylo…. I’m…” you couldn’t even get the words out. Your brain was a solid clump of mush. He was almost literally fucking your brains out. 

His thrusts causing the bed to quiver. “Cum with me,” his voice was thick with ecstasy. You followed orders as your walls clamped around him, his hips stuttering. His panting and moaning almost overriding yours as you came together. Eventually both your hips stopped as you both exhausted your energy, reveling in the orgasm together. Kylo collapsed on top of you, keeping his dick inside you, something you didn’t know you liked until he did it the first time. Your cunt being very happy at not being left empty. Loving the feeling of the weight of his dick inside of you. You also enjoyed the post-sex lazy kisses that he seemed to give you. A silent thank you for giving him his orgasm like you were a goddess blessing his fields with rain. 

The next few days were filled with work and plenty of sex. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were rather pleased and horrified at the state of you in the morning. Kylo and you had another few wonderful rounds of sex. Your body looked more bruised than alright, but you assured them that it was fine. Three days after your wedding night, Kylo got a call to return to Mustafar, something there needed his attention. Something you wished would just disappear. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I take it that you all like smut?


	72. Ink and Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part where I reiterate if you see something in the tags/warnings you don't like, please just leave the story.

You woke up with a pressure behind your ear and a hand between your legs. The last few mornings since you’ve been crowned Empress, since your wedding, Kylo has woken you up by fingering you and playing with your clit. Basically giving you an orgasm to start the day, not that you were complaining  _ at all. _ You also tried to happily return the favor, but it was much easier to do some sort of handjob, wrist match name attention mix to get him off since he has really too big for your hands to handle properly. But that is what your mornings consisted of.

You and Kylo had done some work over the last few days but not much, you weren’t going to be able to get a proper honeymoon in the middle of a war, but your love nest was enough. Today was the first day that Kylo would be leaving the ship. The Alazmac apparently had something for him, something of Vader’s that they wanted to give you both as a wedding present. You weren’t exactly happy that he was leaving the ship, as you had wanted him close, he was right in the sense that him guarding you made you feel safer. 

In the last few days, you had seen very little of your staff outside a few visits from your ladies-in-waiting and Mitaka, who relayed important messages. Hux was bearing the brunt of the responsibility of the First Order at the moment, not unlike before you were in the picture, but you felt bad. 

In the couple of hours that Kylo was gone, you and your ladies-in-waiting did some rehabilitation work. Your body in many ways had taken a beating and you needed to be restored to some sort of functional state. 

Eyeing you up and down, scanning over the many, many love marks. “You know you look like you’ve been attacked by a pack of wild dogs,” commented Adlez. 

This caused a snort of laughter at the comparison, “If only you knew the truth.” Especially with your new nickname for Kylo. You didn’t mind the beast, especially in bed. But after the last few days, it would be nice to be able to feel the lower half of your body finally. 

“Maybe you need to put him on a leash, hmm? Some obedience training? It’s worked wonders on his knights. And the pack of dogs they are.” Again it felt like Adlez was full of surprises. She’s hinted at her sleeping around with the knights, teaching them ‘manners.’

You tried to play off the smirk that was on your face. “All of them or just Cardo?” You knew the rowdy Knight of Ren had a soft spot for her. So much so that Kylo asked you about it.

“All of them.” She shrugged, “But Cardo has been a special boy.” The images that popped into your head were rather... scaring. You were just grateful that you did not have to witness them in real life. 

Your face flushed with embarrassment, “Oh my god, didn’t need to know that, but good for you.” You really didn’t, she had her private life, and you had yours. 

“You should ask the Supreme Leader about their wedding gift for you two.” Some rather terrifying possibilities jumped around in your head. You almost didn’t want to know, especially if he hasn’t shown it to you yet. 

  
“Do I want to know?” You probably didn’t, but you might be able to get an answer out of her, eventually.    
  
“Well, it might just help with that obedience bit. He is their leader, their alpha and now you are their alpha too. Teach him some new tricks.” And the dog imagery was back, you wonder just how much she knows. But for now you wanted to drop the subject all together. 

They ended up filling the tub with bacta for you to soak, Kylo had expressed the discomfort about you going to the med bay for treatment. And since none of your ‘injuries’ were severe or life-threatening it was a long bath in gross bacta gel for you. Adlez told you to submerge yourself but that meant Kylo’s favorite love bites would be healed too and you weren’t about to do that, you wanted to wear a few of them with pride. 

By the time you got out, you felt renewed again. The only bruises left were those high up on your neck, along your jaw, and of course the one behind your ear. Still marked up for him, still owned, but it wasn’t like you needed it because you had your wedding ring and you doubt there is any place in the galaxy that doesn’t know your face now. You were his and were proud to display his conquest marks. You also haven’t worn any proper clothes in the last few days, if you were just with Kylo you were either naked or wearing just a robe, but if you were meeting with someone you wore a wrap dress. Which seemed to be Kylo’s favorite type of garment on you because he could easily untie you and have access to whatever he wanted. 

After Adlez and Olivia-Rose made you human again you had a meeting with your staff and Hux. They seemed to eye your condition carefully. Not really knowing how Kylo had left you, since you had really only been meeting with Mitaka and your ladies-in-waiting. 

“What are my most pressing matters?” You knew you did not have much time to be talking with them Kylo would be back soon, and your rehabilitation treatments took a bit longer than you initially expected. Adlez insisted on you being repaired from head to toe with face masks, hair removal, and the works. 

“You still need to meet with Senator Apolin about your education,” said Mitaka. Your thoughts went back to the dinner, and how he treated you. Acting as if you were some idiot girl that tricked her way into Kylo’s bed with the intent to rule the galaxy.

A thought popped into your head, you had new privileges now. “Do I or does being Empress now negate that?” 

Hux cleared his throat, “I would say that it negates it. He technically has no right to question you now, I suggest a letter versus a call.” He seemed to have your back in many ways, especially when it came to dealing with Pryde and his friends. You wondered just how much he hated the man. 

“Right,” you turned to Lieutenant Amala Graven. “Can you write up something about it? Something along the lines that since he, unfortunately, did not set up a date prior to me becoming Empress that he now is not in the position to review my education?” This made you feel happy, knowing that an old man like him wouldn’t be getting his way this time, and that you had tricked him into thinking he had some power over you. 

She pushed up her glasses before she began taking notes, very diligent in her work. “Yes. Would you like it to be formal or semi-formal?” 

“Formal, but as much hidden sass as you can put in it. Also, let him know that it was unfortunate that he couldn’t attend the wedding.” You were glad he didn’t. You were honestly surprised you were able to handle Pryde being there, but then again, you didn’t know he was there until after the wedding and consummation of your vows were over. 

“But we did not extend him an invitation m’lady,” said Mitaka you could hear the worry in his voice. You don’t know if it was because the invitation was ‘forgotten’ or if it was because you were possibly going to piss off a powerful ally. 

You thought for a moment. Even if he wasn’t invited he still had an expectation to uphold his duty. “Has he sent a gift?” You were sure you knew the answer, one of the rooms that shared your chamber’s hallway was cleared out just to hold all of them, some of them still arriving. 

Hux answered for the captain. “No, he has not.” You could see the wheels turning in his mind, you knew he agreed with you and what you were about to do. 

You looked between both of them, holding your ground. “Then my point still stands. Shall we move on to the next topic?” 

Before you could move on Kylo entered the room and ordered everyone out. He was holding something in his hand that you could not see. He chose not to remove his helmet before speaking to you.    
  
The chilling sound of his distorted voice haunting you to the bone. “I must leave.”

Waves of confusion washed over you, with their freezing cold waters. “Leave be you just got back? Where are you going?” Your mind was racing a million miles a minute. You were supposed to be relatively safe now, that other danger was not supposed to happen for a while, or at least that’s what you thought. 

“I have something left to do.” The black voids of his visor peering into you, this was no guard dog at the moment, this was something else. You could feel something was wrong.

“But why must you go? Can’t you take me with you?” You didn’t understand what was going on, because he wasn’t explaining anything. 

He stepped closer to you, but with his helmet on, like that it didn’t feel sweet it felt threatening. “No, I must go alone. It would be best for you to return to your home planet.” So he was shipping you back to your home planet, to do away with you? 

“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” You wanted answers, answers that he never seemed to give you. 

You felt them again, inside your mind. You felt the black tendrils forcing themselves to wrap around your brain, stretching, familiarizing themselves with their new  _ home  _ once more. 

His voice taking a whole new, unfamiliar tone of harshness with the mask. His hand with an extended finger outstretched towards you, “You will not fight me. You will do as I say when I say it. You will go home to your planet while complete what I must do. Do you understand?” You were being talked down to, like a child but all you could do is nod. Your body involuntarily doing what he asked, were as the small rational part of your brain was struggling to survive. She was losing the battle. 

“I will have a ship and the knights escort you back to Earth. Where you will wait for my return.” So that was it, you were a princess being locked away in some tower before your prince in black armor decides to return to you. No more fairytale for you, just the cold harshness of reality. 

He then left you alone, standing there unable to move as the tears fell down your face and the black inky blob in your brain took over. It forced you to sit down while you began to sob, awful ugly tears. All of your hard work was for nothing, as he crushed your dreams in a second. 

Your spark, your flame of rationality was loosing against the downpour of black water that was Kylo in your mind. You blacked out, or you thought you did. When you woke up, you found yourself on board the  _ Steadfast  _ in your old cold and bright chambers. Adlez, Olivia-Rose, and Mitaka were there with you. The black ink creature receding back into the corners of your skull. 

You took hold of yourself again. “Where am I?” You knew where you were technically, but your brain wasn’t clicking. How did you get here? You don’t remember a thing. 

Adlez had a look of confusion on her face. “You’re onboard the  _ Steadfast _ , m’lady. We transferred here three days ago. You’ve been with us the whole time.”

You tried to cool your features as panic set in. “Why am I here?” Something was wrong, something was majorly wrong. Why didn’t you remember any of it? The lack of memories for the last few days was terrifying. 

“We were to bring you to Earth, the Supreme Leader said that you wanted to visit your family. So that’s why we are headed there. Are you alright m’lady?” Mitaka’s voice was full of concern. You could tell he was able to sense something was wrong and if he could, then Adlez knew something was.

Just as the word No was going to come out of your mouth you felt the black ink creature take hold of your head. “Yes, I’m fine. I just spaced out for a moment that’s all. I think I need to go lie down and rest for a while.” Your body then took you up the stairs, automatically, without your consent. As your head hit the pillow all you saw was darkness, but you heard a voice. His voice. Kylo’s voice. 

_ ‘I need to protect you. Let me protect you.’ _

‘Why are you doing this? You’re hurting me Kylo. You know this!’ The doctor told you as much. He was going to smother the  _ life  _ out of you, for what? You didn’t know. 

_ ‘I am protecting you. I do not know what this purpose is yet, therefore you must be protected.’  _

‘You’re killing me, Kylo. Your killing the part of me that makes me,  _ me!’  _ You were internally screaming at him now. Crying and begging for him to stop, but the black tendrils only held you tighter. 

_ ‘Man serves the interest of no creature except himself, I must do what I need to do to protect you.’  _ You don’t know what scares you more, the fact that he was doing this or the fact that the voice that he was choosing to speak to you in your mind was that of the mask. He wasn’t even using his own natural voice, this was devoid of emotion. 

‘Please… don’t do this.’ You could feel the grasp you had on yourself quickly slipping away. You were losing any control you had and terrifying didn’t even begin to describe it. 

_ ‘You are mine.’ _ While before you thought the mask made him devoid of emotion, this came out as a snarl. The monster was rearing his ugly head in full form. 

When you awoke it was like you were staring out of windows, except they were your eyes. You could not move yourself. You could not move your own body. No, he was doing it. You were trapped inside your own mind, watching how the outside world spoke to ‘you’ without it being you. 

You realized you were surrounded by dying embers in your own mind, with black rain attempting to wash them away. You were trapped. And your captor was on the other side of the galaxy, claiming to be protecting you, or at least the you that wasn’t  _ you. _ A man who claimed to love you, but in fact he failed to understand you. The beast, the monster had taken over him, taken over you. But there was no exit that you could see around you, no exit to this nightmare you were about to be forced to witness. 

  
  
  
  
  



	73. Behind Glass Windows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, very dark themes. You have been warned. Kylo Ren is Not Nice.

You didn’t remember being told that you were now docked on earth; you didn’t remember even getting ready to go down to the surface, but you were now watching behind the windows of your eyes as you were in the shuttle being brought down. You could hear and see everything you normally could, but you were behind the glass of your eyes. _You_ couldn’t interact with your world, he was doing that for you. It was like watching a movie about yourself where _you_ couldn’t control anything unless he let you.

You watched as you departed the ship when it made it to the surface; you were now in D.C. you could hear Mitaka say that your family was brought here, for your safety. 

You knew your crown was adorning your head, you could see as everyone around you bowed or saluted in your presence. But you were stuck, watching this nightmare unfold before you. You saw them, your parents, your siblings, and their spouses and kids. All a mix of terrified and confused. Your body stopped in front of them, but they did nothing other than stare at you. 

You heard Mitaka’s usually timid voice attempt to be confident. “It is the law to bow to the Empress when you are graced with her presence.” 

You watched as your older brother attempted to dispute this, “But she’s our sister.” You knew they didn’t want to give you the same respect you had always shown them. You could see the internal struggle within your family. They were terrified to be in this position, but they also believed that being related to you granted them exceptions. It did not. 

“I will say it once more. It is law for you to bow in front of the Empress when she graces you with her presence.” Mitaka’s voice was a bit agitated at the blatant disrespect for you. He might be timid in many ways but he loved rules, and what the First Order stood for, and this was showing disrespect in the face of it all. 

You watched as your family looked confused and shared looks with each other but they eventually complied to the law. Bowing awkwardly to you, their Empress.

Your mother spoke up, “May I ask why we weren’t invited to your coronation? Your wedding?” Her voice reminded you of all the women in stores who demanded things from workers, that same annoyingly trying to be important tone. 

_You_ didn’t know how to answer but words came out of your mouth anyway, words you couldn’t stop. “You were not invited simply because you are not important enough. You may be the people I happen to share DNA with, but you are not my family.” 

Your mother gawked, but your father spoke first, “Now I know you don’t really feel that way.” You could see in his eyes that he was trying to deescalate the situation, trying to reason with you, but _you_ weren’t in control. 

The ugly black creature speaking for you, “I am the Empress, you do not have the privilege to tell me what to do.” You could feel its hold on your brain tightening with every word. 

“You know that I wasn’t trying to do that,” your father’s voice was reflecting the worry that was plastered across his face. Of course _you_ knew that but that didn’t stop the controlling force on you. You saw your head cock to the side, contemplating their existence in this world.

The monster roared, but your voice masked it. “Execute them.” You watched the creature vibrate with glee, overpowering _you_ , and _your_ wishes. 

“M’lady? They are your family,” asked an officer who was in the room, Mitaka staying silent. You could see the hints of concern on his face, knowing something was wrong, that this wasn’t like _you._

_You_ watched as you turned to him. “They have wronged the Empress. Execute them.” You then walked away. Your back turned as you heard their confused yells, the education failing them, panic setting in. 

You watched the fear in his face, “The children too?” You could hear the unease in the young officer’s voice. _You_ wanted so desperately to tell him no. _You_ watched as you turned back around to face the officer that dared to question you.

“Yes.” Was the answer you gave.

You began to walk away, down the hall to who knows where. You sure didn’t as you weren’t in control of your body, your mind. _You_ were screaming and pounding against the glass that seemed to be preventing _you_ from doing anything. But _you_ watched as the tendrils moved in front of it and around _you_ , being burned by the dying embers around you. You wondered if there would be a way to stoke the fire somehow. But it was just you, the glass wall, the dying embers, the tendrils, and blackness. You knew _you_ had no control anymore, but _you_ were fighting for your life. 

You heard a voice speak on the other side of the glass. “Empress, I have some things I would like to catch you up on.” It was General Parnadee. She was here talking to you, in person for the first time in weeks. 

You turned to face her. “Yes, general you may proceed.” The words were out of your mouth, _you_ wanted to scream at her to let her know that _you_ weren’t all right. That _you_ needed help. That you were trapped inside your own mind. 

She eyed you carefully like she always had, analyzing the situation before her like the expert tactician she was. “It seems someone you knew previously to the annexation to this planet is in coercion with the resistance. I was wondering if you would like to overlook the interrogation. Maybe provide some insight? Or speak yourself?” Her eyes gauging you every movement. 

You could see the black creature fill with glee once more. Excited with the possibility of witnessing an interrogation. Its inky threads dancing across your brain. “Yes, I would. Lead the way general.” Shaping and molding the parts it had yet to fully seize. 

She eyed you for a moment. You wondered if she could tell that something was off. Hearing yourself speak, you didn’t quiet sound like you, like yourself. You sounded like a different person had access to your voice, because technically that’s what this was. _You_ weren’t controlling you; _you_ did not have power over your body, your mind, you even wondered if you had power over your soul at the moment. 

You were lead to a room in the lower levels. It did feel like an interrogation room, when you stepped inside you saw your former boss, Scott, strapped down to a chair. It looked like a torture device, complete with a small black drone droid flying about. 

You wanted to know what he was doing here, why he was here. But the creature spoke for you. “You looked relieved Scott? Were you expecting someone else?” You could feel your eyes narrowing at him. The creature turning you into a hunter before its prey.  
  
“I’m just glad it’s you and not the supreme leader. I’ve heard the rumors. What he can do to the mind.” You could hear the exhaustion and fear in his voice, and the small sense of relief. The creature narrowed in on the fear. 

You felt your head cock to the side. “What rumors?” The creature turning you into a hyena before a dying animal, circling him in the chair. 

You could hear the frustration in his voice, obviously, you weren’t displaying the reaction he wanted. “I know you know. That he can tear into someone’s mind. But I know you will get me out of this, I know you know I am innocent. I’ve never done anything to you or the First Order. All you have are lies about me.” _You_ wanted to believe him, suspecting what the outcome of all of this would be if he was found guilty, but _you_ didn’t have control. 

The creature mocking him now, “You see that’s where you are wrong. I know you aren’t innocent Scott. I remember being in the conference room when you said: ‘Well we’re fucked, We are all surely fucked. Who are these people to think they can just take over like that? Do they think we are just going to sit by and let them brainwash us? Let them take everything from us?’ Did you think I forgot that” Your voice now sounded like something out of a horror movie, some fake female sounding voice that came from a monster.

Scott’s eyes were wide. “That doesn’t mean anything surely you know that right? I’m innocent. Please, you know I have a wife and kids.” He could see there was no good outcome for him. He would have to face his death. 

“Hmmm yes I do.” The creature teased him, looking for the final kill. “But unfortunately for them, they will have to pay for your actions, just as you will.” 

Panic, fear, horrification were just brushing the surface of what he was feeling about what the creature was suggesting. “What does that mean? Please take me and not them. Kill me and let them live.” 

Your head list to the other side. The you that was in control was really toying with him now, like a cat before her already caught prey. Which he was, strapped to the chair, helpless and in tears, afraid for his life. “Yes, you should be grateful that I am unable to tear into your mind, but know this I show the same amount of mercy as my husband. Which is none.”

You turned your back to him and walked out of the room, but not before telling the guard that Scott and his family were to face public execution, as examples of traitors to the first order. 

You walked past the general. “I will be present for both executions, I would like them to happen as soon as possible.” 

She looked at you, you could see it in her eyes that she knew something was wrong, “Yes, Empress. We are having them in an hour. I have been informed by your ladies-in-waiting that you have been requested to change for the executions.” You were different, and she could tell. 

You simply nodded and headed down the hallway. You did not know where you were going, but you ended up in a bedroom where Adlez and Olivia-Rose were waiting, with your [ new gown ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4f/91/f1/4f91f1c58c91f0763db0c53363e8b71e.jpg) for the execution. 

“Are you all right m’lady we heard what happened,” asked Olivia-Rose.

The entity spewing harshness, “News travels quick.” You voice came out with a menacing tone. Both of them looked at you and each other, Olivia-Rose was terrified but Adlez was analyzing you. You had never treated them like this before. You knew it would only be a matter of time before the black monster in your head would mess up enough for them to want to do something about it. 

But the creature blacked you out, ending any and all conversation, taking you to the execution before it allowed you to see through the windows of your eyes once more. 

On the top of the front steps to the Lincoln Memorial, one of the very images that used to define freedom, is where the execution was taking place. The Lincoln statue was removed, in its place was a red banner with the First Order Insignia, its bright red color was like blood against the pure white marble. 

It was more than just your family and Scott being executed, there were others lined up, but they didn’t matter to the part of your brain you couldn’t control. You wondered if you could stomach what you were about to witness. What he was about to make you witness. The death of your family. 

You felt yourself step forward to address the crowd; you knew once again that the words coming out of your mouth were not your own. “Citizens of Earth, the people before you today have committed the act of treason against you, against the most gracious First Order. I stand before you today as your Empress. Showing you firsthand that I stand behind what is done here, the examples these people will be to you all. Break the rules, cause disorder and you will be eradicated. We will be pure, we will have order, we will be better.” 

You stepped back; you knew all eyes were on you, but you were numb to it all. Not feeling the pain that was so clearly in your heart, in your soul. You watched as an Executioner ‘trooper stepped forward. Through the voice distortion, you heard names and the crimes they committed. You watched as Scott went first, his crime being a spy and conspiring with the Resistance. You watched as they forced him to kneel in front of everyone next to a ‘trooper with a laser axe. _You_ watched on horrified at the falling of his head, but the crowd that gathered in front of you was living for it. Shouting various encouragements to the executioners, saying disgusting things to those who were lined up. Next was his wife and two kids, their crime was failing to report a conspirator of the Resistance. Your body not following _your_ will, forcing you to watch, breaking you. 

But you weren’t prepared for what you were about to witness next, your family. Your mother, your father, your brothers and sister with their spouses and kids lining up together, a stormtrooper holding each of them, an executioner next to them waiting, waiting for the announcement of their names and crimes. You could see the fear and tears on their faces, some of them trying to look at you, trying to show you their dying eyes. The children and babies not knowing what was happening. What you were about to let the First Order do, knowing you couldn’t stop what was about to happen. 

Their death, and your isolation. 

You watched as the axes fell in sync; you were alone now. Your family was gone, Kylo on the other end of the galaxy but controlling you. Allowing. No. Forcing this to happen. Forcing your isolation. Forcing their death. The rest of the execution was a blur, the tendrils seemed to decide that you have had enough of being forced to witness things. You didn’t remember the rest of the day, or the next few days as a matter of fact. The inky blackness was all you saw. 

  
  



	74. False Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter contains Dub/Con so you have been warned.

Ten days. Ten days you were without conscious thought. It’s been ten days since you were able to see out of the windows of your eyes. Ten days of pure blackness, of being confined with the creature. Only the dying embers keeping you company, but they were slowly receding around you, your territory shrinking, the monster creeping closer. On Earth, you weren’t free. 

But now you were face to face with him, with your own personal demon. His eyes peering into your soul, knowing that he was controlling you. Seeing  _ you  _ struggling to hold on. Watching  _ you _ behind the glass.

For once his helmet was off, but his voice was void of emotion. “You will come with me to Exegol. He has requested your presence.” You wondered who he was. And why he needed you to be there. 

You wanted to respond, but you couldn’t. Kylo still having control over you. You know he was watching you internally scream and beg him to let  _ you  _ go. You were lashing against the grip of the black creature that held you back, that held you down. You were powerless to him. 

But your body betrayed you as he took your arm and escorted you to the shuttle that would take you to the  _ Supremacy. _ You could feel the darkness taking over as you were strapped in. When you gained consciousness you were finishing dinner, you felt  _ yourself _ regain control of your voice. 

“You will join me in bed tonight, Kitten.” It wasn’t a question, it was a command. You watched as his eyes watched you, knowing there was little you could do to resist him. He was a beast that had already captured its prey, now was no time to fight. 

You tried to move your body, but you only had control of voice. “Why are you doing this?” The sound of your own voice seemed foreign on your own ears. You hadn’t had control over yourself in over two weeks. 

He was agitated now, something about your question was angering him. “As I said before, this is for your protection. I do not know his full strength and the only way to protect you now is by occupying your mind, putting up a wall you can not do yourself.” But who was this man that threatened you, that asked for you? 

“And killing my family? Was that putting up a wall too? Or was that so you could have me all to yourself?” You knew that there was nothing you could do now to stop him from doing whatever he wanted to. You were completely at his mercy. 

He scoffed, he was acting like the villain in this story. “We gave them a merciful death. Our enemies would have watched them tortured, to try to get to you. I did you a favor.” His face sneered at you, there was no remorse for what he had done.    
  
You felt the tears fall down your face, seeming to have control over the windows now. Allowing you to show some emotion. “Making me watch the first order murder them was a favor?” You wondered just how far he was willing to go to ‘protect’ you. Your family was dead, your friends brainwashed, your planet seized. He was a monster. 

His eyes narrowed at you, one twitching with anger. “Remember, you are the First Order now.” Yes, you were the face of it now. The Empress. 

You tried to remember back to when he told you that he wanted you to rule for him, but the memory was becoming murky like it had been tainted. “You’re right and I have control over nothing, not even my own body.” 

His eyes grew dark as he leaned forward, his body language as threatening as it could be. You felt the internal hold on your body release, and then you felt the Force wrap around you, holding you now from the outside of your body. “You want control, here you have control.” 

You struggled against the invisible grip. “You know that’s not what I meant.”    
  
“But this is what you are going to get.” He then commanded you up with the Force, your feet levitating off the ground. No control over anything as the tendrils wrapped themselves tightly around you. You were being taken to the bedroom and put on the bed. 

You were afraid, this was not the same man who left you weeks ago. “Please don’t do this.” You felt the bed dip with his weight as he crawled up over you. You wanted to push him off, wanted him to get away from you. 

His eyes feasted upon your flesh, seeming to mark exactly where he was going to bite into you, like his last meal. “What am I not supposed to do? You are my wife are you not?” His eyes focus on your chest and crotch, taking you in like an object to be defiled. 

Your voice broke as you pleaded to him “I am, but I don’t want this, not like this. I want you freely, no Force to hold me down, no Force inside my mind.” For some stupid reason, your love for him was still fighting the fear and terror you felt for him. Trying to remind you that you love him with every fiber of your helpless being. 

His demeanor shifted for a moment, it softened. “Promise you won’t run away?” He seemed vulnerable in that moment, and it made your heart yearn for him.    
  
Your voice was quiet, your crying calmed. “I promise.”

You felt the tendrils release you, the black entity inside your mind leave you. You were yourself again, but for how long? You weren’t really even able to enjoy this freedom as Kylo began attacking you with kisses, biting love marks into your skin. You heard fabric ripping as your dress came off of you. The Force wasn’t holding you down but his hands were.

You felt conflicted at the situation. Should you be letting him do this? After all he’s done? But your body betrayed you, giving in to his touches and kisses. Every fiber of your being overcome with joy knowing that he was next to you, that he was loving you. It didn’t take him long to get his clothes off. He wasn’t fully erect yet, but that wasn’t unusual. 

You struggled against his hold. He was still resisting giving you freedom. “May I please have my arms back?”

His voice was harsh, “Why?” His grip tightening, you were sure that you were going to bruise. 

“You haven’t let me touch you when we’ve made love. You’ve always just held my arms down.” You wanted to be able to touch him, but that never seemed to be an option. You wanted to hold him, maybe that would help this broken man. 

He complied, but then a hand wrapped itself around your neck. “I need control,” was his explanation. He used his free hand to stroke himself hard. 

You were being choked. His hard pounding thrust caused you to force yourself harder into his hand. Cutting off blood flow to your brain, but not oxygen. Your hips rolled upward as you struggled. He wasn’t going to kill you, but that didn’t mean you didn’t need to be afraid. But again your body was betraying you, your slick was pooling between your legs. 

Once he was done making himself hard, his hand found its way to your hot core, plunging a finger in without any warning. He was pissed, and so it seemed that you were not going to get any more warm-up than absolutely necessary. After a couple of thrusts, a second finger was added and then a third. When he thought you were prepped just enough he forcefully split you in two. His pace rough and quick, unrelenting as he pounded into you. You lacked the ability to speak for a different reason, his hand still clamped tightly around your throat. He was vocalizing groans, snarls, the occasional fuck. His lips and teeth covering you in deep dark bruises. This was the first time that he seemed to break skin, you had a bloody bite mark on your breast. The man fucking you was truly a monstrous savage. 

Unlike before he climaxed before you, but he left you feeling empty as he pulled out. You were flipped over, your face shoved down into the mattress as he took you from behind. Yes, you might have had your arms free, your mind free, but you were far from freedom. There were tears in your eyes as you finally reached your orgasm, he was close to his second. Gone was the loving man you once thought you knew, now he was a creature that haunted you, something born of nightmares. A demon trapping you to your own personal hell, but you could help but feel pleasure at your release. Your body still overjoyed at the things he was doing to you. Your body and you slowly becoming two separate entities as he occupied you, both in body and mind. Your tears staining the mattress. 

When he pulled out he released all over your cunt, covering your crotch in his hot cum. His grip on your head holding you face down on the mattress released. His hands now attached themselves to your thighs. A long hard swipe fo his tongue changed your tune entirely. Lapping you up, now this was a delicious pleasure. His enthusiasm for your combined juices seemed to return. He hooked a finger inside you to try to scoop out as much mixed cum as he could, after a while the finger just seemed to massage your walls as you produced more and more arousal. His tongue occasionally thrusting in and out of you, before you came to your climax. Your legs collapsed under you as Kylo’s touch left your body, and his weight left the bed. 

He went into the bathroom where you heard the shower run, for the first time since you’ve been married he had abandoned you on the bed. He wasn’t returning to clean you up. When he came back, there was no good-night kiss, no real acknowledgment of your existence. He turned off his light and seemed to fall asleep. You tested your own strength as you tried to get off the bed. You limped into the bathroom, the woman in the reflection haunted you, the love bites no longer reminded you of sweetness, but pain. They were marks of ownership, pure ownership over your existence. You turned on the shower and let the scalding water try and wash away the pain in your heart, but it couldn’t. Not before you lost control over your mind once more. The black creature invading your sanctuary. You wondered when the next time you would be guaranteed moments of freedom. 

When you came to you were stuck behind the glass. No control over yourself. You were now wearing different clothes. You wondered how many days had passed by, how many days he had stolen from you. For some reason some stupid part of you was still in love with him, believing that he was actually protecting you. But now you were descending to the surface of Exegol from what you could observe. You were going to meet him, whoever he was. You were surrounded by the knights and Kylo, a blaster placed on your hip. You could sense the nervousness from the knights. If they were afraid, you should be too. You weren’t sure if you were being led to your death or not, but you were afraid either way. 

Kylo wore his helmet, his lightsaber in his hand, ready to jump out of the craft when you landed. The knights assumed similar positions. You were the only one strapped down, but you could feel Kylo’s Force around you, like some sort of protective bubble. When the exit ramp lowered, it looked like you were released directly into the gates of hell. Chanting was heard in the distance. You felt yourself lose full consciousness once more. 


	75. Exegol

You regained consciousness once more. Kylo’s masked face was in front of yours, blocking most of your vision. The red jagged lines a harsh contrast to your surroundings. 

He was stern. “You will do as I say, I must protect you, but I can not hold you like this any longer. You will feel me release your mind and your body, but you must do as I say. It is the only way you leave here alive. Do you understand?” Something about this place was worrying him. Why was it so dangerous?

You watched as the knights shifted nervously around you. But he allowed  _ you  _ to speak. “Yes.” And your body and mind were released. You could still feel a protective Force bubble around you as you analyzed where you were at. 

It was dark, you could see lighting strike all around you, as you followed Kylo into this weird monument. The knights surrounding you as Kylo took the lead, his saber ignited. He was on the hunt. 

Even though there was no hold on your mind you could feel his presence there.  _ ‘This place is filled with the dark side of the Force. Remember, you will do as I say and only as I say.’ _

You all stepped on to this hexagonal shape on the floor, it jolted as it lowered you down into some sort of dark abyss. You could see large menacing statues, hundreds of feet tall surrounding the chamber you were entering. The constant bombardment of lighting is the only true source of light other than a weird dull blue glow of mist. If he hadn’t already told you, you would have thought this place was haunted or something. The aura of the room making you on edge.

You could hear chanting in the distance as a loud chilling voice spoke. “Ah, I see you have heeded my instructions.” Something was off but you couldn’t explain it. 

Kylo responded to the seemingly disembodied voice. “I have brought her as you requested.” He was talking about you. But why did he request you? Why were you important to all this? 

“Good, good my boy. There is hope for you yet. Much more potential than your grandfather.” The voice had a body, or you at least assumed it did as you approached a figure attached to some sort of mechanical arm. “The First Order was just the beginning I will give you so much more.”

Kylo aimed his saber at the crippled looking man. “What could you give me?” You watched the knights take defensive stances around you, following their boss’s lead. You put your hand on your blaster, hoping that whatever will happen, that Phasma’s training would be enough. 

His voice almost had a mocking tone to it as he spoke. “Everything. A new Empire. The might of the Final Order will soon be ready. It will be yours since you did as I asked. You killed the girl, ended the Jedi, and became what your grandfather Vader could not. You will rule all the galaxy as the new Emperor.” 

“But beware she is not who you think she is.” one of his wrinkly deformed hands pointed to you. “She is your weakness. Break her and this will all be yours.” Who was this man? 

_ ‘Do as I say and you will walk out of here alive. Disobey me and he will kill you.’  _ Kylo’s voice spoke in your mind. You didn’t know if he was supposed to be reassuring you or scaring you more. 

“Yes, master,” is what Kylo responded. He turned around to face you, the world around both of you dissipated into black mist. Master? Who was this man? What was Kylo going to do? And then you felt it, you felt the black tendrils squeezing at the last bit of  _ life  _ you had in you, the last bit of  _ you.  _ You didn’t understand. 

Tears streaming down your face as you fell to your knees, not being able to bear the pain.    
“Why are you doing this? You were nice once, what happened?” You couldn’t see anything but him, a loud roaring sound in your ears.

Kylo’s distorted voice ripped through you “Nice? Nice was Ben Solo, who was weak. I am better than him.” You heard the old man laugh at your struggles through the deafening roar. 

You were pleading with him. “What about right after our wedding? You were so sweet then.” You wanted to trust him, but this wasn’t the man you knew. 

You heard a chuckle through his mask, something that would haunt even the bravest of warriors. “Ah yes, that was the leftover residue of Ben Solo leaving my body, the accumulation of my mother’s and the scavenger’s powers. Something I couldn’t exactly control at the time. But now it’s just you and me Kitten. The beast, the monster is all you have now.” He brought his hand to his heart, showing you he was the beast. 

  
“You said you wanted me to fix you, to mend your broken soul. I can’t do that like this.” The grip of the Force around you was too much, you watched as his hand turned next to your head. And pain shot through your mind.

_ ‘Do as I say and you will walk out of here alive.’  _ The voice inside your head was his, but it was different than the one speaking out loud to you.    
  
“You already have Kitten. You gave me the motivation to end Ben Solo, to break the part of me that was weak. And now I am breaking the part of you that is weak too. We will be together as one fulfilling my grandfather’s legacy, ruling the galaxy together. Two souls that have mended each other, that have mended together.” He stepped closer to you, taking your jaw in his large gloved hand. 

You wanted all of this to end. You said the words you never wanted to really say. The words you wished wouldn’t be true. “You’re a monster.” 

His head snapped at the declaration. “I’ve always been a  _ monster, _ it’s only taken you this long to see it.” If he didn’t have the mask on you could have sworn he would be foaming at the mouth with anger. This is not the man you once knew. He was different. He was terrifying. 

“Let me go. I want myself back.” You wanted to go back to Earth, you wanted to wake up and for all of this to be a dream. A small, small part of you wished you had never met him, but something inside of you was fighting for him, something much bigger than you had initially thought. 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t know if I want to let you have yourself back. Because you could still run away from me. And guess what? A new name has appeared on my wrist.” He showed the piece of bare skin to you. “Empress Ren. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? Maybe if we keep this act up, she will be the one that lives, kitten. And she won’t leave me.” A new name replaced yours, he had already started the process of breaking you. 

_ ‘Do as I say and you will walk out of here alive.’  _ His voice in your head was full of emotion, he was crying. 

“You’re breaking my heart,” you were screaming now, your voice breaking, your body hurting as you struggled against his grip on your life and body. 

“It needs to be broken so I can mend it. Fix it, make it whole, make it mine.” For some reason, it felt as if he was saying this without the mask, but he wasn’t. You could hear him break with you. 

But that didn’t stop what little fight you had left in you. “You’re killing me.” 

It felt as if he was whispering to you, “No, I am letting you live. I am giving you life, a new life with me.” It was all too much. 

_ ‘Do as I say and you will walk out of here alive.’ _

__ But it wouldn’t be  _ you.  _ It would be someone else entirely. But you gave in. You felt the glass shatter, the black ink spilling in. The embers washed away.  _ You _ were gone. Your body crumpled to the ground. As your head made impact with the ground, you saw it. You saw the throne from your dreams. You weren’t fully conscious but you could hear what was happening around you. 

The old man, “The ritual begins.”

Weird demonic chanting erupted from the room in some sort of agreement. 

“He will strike me down and pledge himself as a Sith. He will draw his weapon. He will come to me. He will take his revenge. And with the stroke of his saber, the Sith are reborn. The Jedi are dead.” Why would this man want to be killed? What purpose would this serve if Kylo killed him? Something was off but you couldn’t do anything about it. 

But Kylo was apparently hesitating as the old man became angry, “Do it. Make the sacrifice.”

“I don’t want to be Emperor.” He didn’t he wanted you to have control, or at least that’s what he said in the beginning but that seemed like a lifetime ago. 

You felt yourself regain vision and mobility; you were awake now. Or at least whoever you were now. 

The old man was furious now. “Don’t be a fool my boy. Of course, you do. It is your destiny.” There was definitely a reason behind him needing Kylo to kill him. 

  
“No, being the Emperor is not my destiny, nor was it my grandfather’s. We both have the same weakness. We love one woman too much, she is the galaxy to me. I will give it to her.”

You watched as lighting erupted from the old man’s hands. Kylo using his strength and ability to fight him, using his saber to deflect it, drawing the old man away from you. The red guards who had been surrounding the edge of where you were now engaged in a battle against the knights. 

_ ‘I know you are awake. Shoot him. It is the only way this all ends.’  _

You saw what was happening now; you looked like you were still unconscious, and Kylo and his knights were a distraction. You watched as Kylo lured the old man away from you, so the old man’s back was to you. This was your one chance. 

You struggled to get the blaster, your entire body feeling as if it was hit by a train, sore and muscles almost frozen. You eventually took hold of it and aimed. If you missed you would surely hit Kylo who as struggling against the old man’s powers. All you could do was hope that your shot rang true as you pulled the trigger. There was a blast of energy that shot out as your blaster bolt hit, causing you to black out. You were weak. 

When you awoke this time you were laying awkwardly on something hard, your face was being cradled by a hand. When you opened your eyes you were met with a familiar face. Kylo’s. His eyes scanned your face, looking for something but eventually, he just held your gaze. Something was different now. 

Your voice was groggy, “What happened?” You saw bodies littering the floor around the large chamber, all of them the red-robed guards of the old man. 

“I’ve changed you. I’m sorry but it needed to happen.” His voice was sincere as he caressed your face, some of the gentleness that was stored in your memory returning. 

“So, she’s gone?” The old you was gone. Or at least you suspected it. 

He shifted a bit, seeming to be a bit uncomfortable at the outcome. “She is, but I am here for you. I will protect you, my Empress.”

“Empress.” The name rolled off your tongue as if it always belonged. As if it was always a part of you. 

“Yes, Empress Ren, leader of the First Order and now, the Sith Eternal and the Final Order. We’ve won. You have control over everything, you have control over me.” He seemed genuine in his statements. You won against that old man. You now had control over everything, everyone. 

None of this answered the important question. “Who was he? The one who wanted to make you Emperor?” You sat up, on the throne from your dreams, you were seated in your rightful position, Kylo kneeling at your feet. 

Kylo shook his head. “He was the old Emperor. The one my grandfather worked for, his master. Palpatine.” Something about him kneeling before you did something to you, something familiar inside of you awoke. You stroked his beautiful soft raven hair. 

You nodded, “Why did he want you to be Emperor? What did he have to gain by you slaying him? It doesn’t make any sense.” 

Kylo shook his head, his face scrunched up in confusion, “I do not know why exactly, but I suspect it may have to do with some old Sith rituals. My grandfather encountered one that could take over someone’s body, but not like what I did to you, like a true host. The transferring of complete consciousness. His body was old, and decaying, I was, the perfect host for him to take over. Strong in the Force, strong in the body, but more importantly I am young. Well, much younger than him. I believe he wanted to use me to live on, to still rule as the Emperor, but we foiled his plans.” He leaned into your hand as you stroked his hair, reveling in the touch. 

Your brain was working differently, more calculated, more exact, more resourceful. “And what of the Resistance? I am assuming they are still alive.” 

“They are, but I am still your guard dog, Kitten. Send me after them, let me destroy them for us, for you. So all the galaxy is finally under your rule as Empress.” He placed his hands on your thighs eager to be sent as a weapon of destruction for you, his lust for violence showing through. Along with what appeared to be lust for you as he couldn’t help his hands stroking up your legs. 

“I will, but I would like one night with my husband first. Last night wasn’t something I enjoyed. My guard dog needs to remember that I am supposed to be treated like an Empress. And he needs to show me that before I will let him be my weapon to destroy my enemies.” His pupils dilated, and he swallowed back need. You could see that you were hitting all the right buttons with your new authority. He wanted you as you did him. You were going to show him, just how an Empress should be treated.    


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert the Poe Dameron meme here: "And somehow Palpatine has returned." But my question is: did I do it better? Let me know!


	76. How to Treat an Empress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead, read at your own risk.

You made your way back to the ship, informing the Final Order High Command that they are to wait for your order to launch on any Resistance ships or bases. You wanted a night alone with your husband, really you just wanted to spend every night with him. Sleeping alone sucked. But this time instead of following his lead, Kylo’s lead, he followed you. 

Neither of you stopped until you reached the bedroom where you immediately sat on the bed. For the first time, it looked like Kylo didn’t know what to do with himself like he was an inexperienced virgin in this scenario. For some reason, this gave you a power trip because he was looking for you to lead. To show him how an Empress should be treated. How you wanted to be treated. You gestured for him to kneel in front of you, which he obeyed and seemed to be avoiding direct eye contact at the moment. 

You stroked his hair, “Now am I to teach you how to properly treat an Empress?” Your voice was sultry, trying to reassure him that you meant business.

He glanced up at you, his eyes filled with lust but trying to remain composed as he swallowed back. “Yes,” his voice was filled with need, but barely over a whisper. He needed to continually swallow back the mouth-watering sensation that you caused in him. 

You caressed his cheek running a thumb over his lips, “Now, as much as I love my guard dog, there is a time and place for his beastliness. When I want to be treated like an Empress in bed is not one of them. Do you understand?” 

His breathing picked up but his eyes were locked on yours. All he could do was nod in response. 

“Good. Now you will do as I say when I say it. Do you understand?” You scanned over his face, gauging his arousal to the situation. If his pupils were any indication, you had him right where you wanted him. 

Again all he could do was nod, words lost to the thick mist of lust that seemed to surround him. You were the one who had all the control now; he relinquished his power to you. He would be your guard dog when you ordered it. The beast would have his playtime of course, but you wanted him to show some obedience again before that happened. Last night would never occur again, even if the beast was involved. 

You thought for a moment before commanding, “Strip and then get back on your knees.” You watched as he quickly obeyed. His shirt and upper armor first. Tossing it aside before fumbling with his boots and finally shucking off his pants, where his already rock hard erection sprang free. As he knelt back down, you watched him swallow back his lust several times, he was full of want and need for you. The perfect teaching situation for what you had in mind. 

You inched forward to him, “Remove my clothing, but do nothing more.” You watched as his fingers trembled, eager to get his hands on you, to touch you. When you felt one of his hands stray too far from their target, you smacked the back of his wrists lightly, enough to shock but not enough to hurt. The first time it happened you could see his hips jerk involuntarily towards you with excitement, and any time you smacked him his cock twitched with need. He was enjoying this treatment. Once you were properly stripped you had him rest back on his knees again, ass to ankles. 

You scooted yourself close to the edge of the bed and spread your legs. Before his eyes were sneakily trying to wander all over your body, taking in your face, your breast, trying to see your cunt, but your legs were closed, but now that they were open you had his full attention. The action took his breath away. You were bare on display before him, and his brain was short-circuiting. You mustered up the authority to say, “I want you to eat me out, right here. Like this. No touching yourself only pleasuring me, your Empress. Do you understand?” 

His eyes widened as he eagerly agreed, wanting to taste you again, one of his favorite things. Before you gave the go-ahead you stroked yourself, and then you pushed your partially slick finger into his mouth, where he enthusiastically sucked it clean. “Go ahead,” was your command. 

You felt his hands immediately attach themselves to your thighs, and then one long slow lick down through your core. You moaned out in pleasure. He took this as a sign to continue. All the previous times he ate you out were aggressive and fast, this time he was worshiping every piece of delicate skin his lips or tongue could find. He took turns swirling and pressing up against your clit and thrusting and circling your hole. He moaned into you, tasting your heavenly passion. You eventually leaned back on one arm while the other tightly gripped his hair, holding him to you. 

The room was filled with your combined pants and moans of pleasure with the mix of Kylo’s licking. His thumbs rubbed circles into the tender flesh of your inner thighs. His lips suctioned themselves to your engorged folds, causing immense pleasure as you came. His name left your lips in prayer as you fell back. But he was a good boy who seemed to be following the rules as he licked you clean before kneeling back. It took you a few seconds to contain yourself as you sat up, you could see his cock was twitching with need. Pre-cum dripping from the angry red-head. 

You still wanted to show him how you wanted to be treated. “Get on the bed, but on your back.” You watched as he scrambled to comply. Only wanting to please you, hoping for the blessing of release soon. 

He laid back, his cock standing at firm attention. He was propped up on some pillows, his eyes dark with desire. His hands gripped the sheets, so he didn’t do anything you wouldn’t approve of, but you could see that he was struggling to maintain his composure. All his training failed him at this moment, in his passion for you. You followed him up onto the bed straddling his thighs, his cock against your belly. It would be in you in a few moments, but you wanted to tease him for a second. 

You stroked his cock against your belly, your hand teasing the tip, “You will be a good boy for me, won’t you?” His cock sporadically twitching at the sudden friction. You watched as he bit his lip trying to control himself. Like before he could only nod. 

You lifted yourself up, hovering just above the engorged erection. “You will only cum when I say you can. Understand?” Your pussy ghosting over the head. This elicited a sharp whimper from him, and a nod in agreement. He was desperate for you. Seeming to lose all sense of his usual self as you became the powerful Empress he wanted. 

You hissed as you lowered yourself down on to him; you chose not to prep yourself more than the orgasm he gave you. You choose not to stretch yourself out for this whole reason. To feel the pressure his cock could give you. He was so big, as he stretched you out. You felt as if you were going to be split in two as you completely took him. 

You could tell it was taking all he had in him not to jerk up into you, trying desperately to follow your lead. It was hard for him, but at the same time, he looked like he had finally reached nirvana. You slowly started to ride him, picking up pace as you went. Your moans and the sounds of skin against skin filling the room again. You could see Kylo gripping the sheets, keeping himself from trying to relentlessly pound up into you, as he tried to follow your pace, whimpers of frustration and pleasure leaving his lips. Your cunt overjoyed at being so full and being stretched so far. He fit you perfectly, but it was a snug fit, a sort of custom pussy built just for his big cock. 

You were at this game for at least a half an hour, Kylo being a good boy and not being too eager to try to finish things off. You felt your walls clamp around him as you were on the edge of your orgasm. “Cum,” was your simple order. His hips violently jerked up into you for a few moments as you felt the fire of his seed fill you to the brim. Your orgasm crashing down around you as your hips stuttered. Clenching down on the rock hard cock that was held between your legs, buried in your folds. 

You collapsed down onto his chest when it was all over, your breasts against his. You tried to catch your breath as you commanded, “Worship me.” And a flip turned on in his brain. You felt his hands caress you and grope your ass. He peppered you in feverous kisses. Trying to make sure every inch of you was just that—worshiped. You were his Empress, and he needed to make sure you were properly taken care of. While he was doing this you could feel his fingers test your now almost overly stimulated folds, trying to see if there was the possibility of getting some of your combined juices out, for him to taste. You were his personal delicacy and he couldn’t help himself as he brought his coated finger to his lips, tasting your concoction of mixed cum. 

His eyes asked the question that his lips couldn’t form, and you simply nodded in approval. He made his way back down between your legs as he lapped up the mess he left there. Tasting your creation. He caused a third orgasm to ripple through your body, this time you loudly moaned and yelled in pleasure, not holding anything back. He seemed to find his expertise again as he made you cum. “I want to taste us,” was what you said as he was cleaning you up. His chin and lips were still shiny with the trophy of his deeds as he came up for a kiss, allowing you to taste your combined accomplishment. You eventually ignored the savory pleasure in favor of kissing him. You both became entangled in each other as you allowed the sex-ridden lust to dissipate. Just content with kissing and caressing each other. 

Eventually, you just came to rest on his chest, him holding you against himself, your bodies covered in sweat., but neither of you caring enough at the moment to do something about it. “That is how you treat an Empress.” You glanced up at him.

There was a small sweet smile on his lips as you heard him chuckle, “Of course my Empress. You deserve nothing less.” You met his lips again. 

  
“Good, and don’t you forget it, otherwise I will have to pull out the big guns to make you obey me.” This caused a raised eyebrow at the  proclamation. 

The smile turned into a smirk as he teased, “What if I want the big guns?” His fingers dancing along your back. 

You shook your head in exasperation, “You and your knights I swear.” 

His eyes went wide for a moment, remembering something. “Well, remind me that we need to use their gift sometime soon. Maybe whenever you let the beast back into your bed?” You could tell that whatever the gift was, that it excited him. You could feel him grow hard again underneath you. 

“MMmm maybe, shall we go take a bath?” You didn’t even get an answer as you were carried off into the bathroom. You were placed down on the edge of the tub as he moved around to start the bath. You watched as he dumped random oils and salts into the water, seeming to have no idea what they did, but he was trying. 

When the water was deemed high and hot enough for your approval, he helped lower you into the water, eventually joining you as he prepared towels for your eventual departure from the bath. In the water you rode him again, this time allowing him to help you, allowing his hands on your soft wet skin. Hearing the water slosh, pants and moans fill the room. Kisses were aplenty as you attacked each other’s lips. Once you both reached your climaxes, you took turns washing each other, as you had on your wedding night. All in all, your second first night as Empress was one to be remembered. 


	77. Attack Dog

Kylo eventually brought you both back to the bed, your evening of lovemaking taking a toll on your energy. You were laying on his chest once more, a much more intimate sleeping position than you were used to, but seeing as many things had changed in the last 24 hours it was nothing new. “So, now that I am officially Empress, I feel different.” 

Kylo glanced down at you, hand rubbing your bare back. “You are a different person now, the same in many ways, but different. So far I’ve seen you more sure of yourself if our lovemaking had anything to say. I would also say you take less shit, in general. You are now an Empress, and not so much my little Kitten anymore.” 

You considered his words and his observation carefully, “Mmm yes, I guess I am more of a lioness now, but you can still call me Kitten when we are alone, especially when the beast is to come out.” You saw his pupils dilate with arousal at the mention of the beast, something he so desperately wanted to become again. 

You shook your head knowing the question he wanted to ask., “No not tonight, I still need to be able to function tomorrow. When you return from your first mission, you can let the beast out but only when I tell you to. Do you understand?” You knew you would have to send him out into the universe away from you but you knew he would return to you. 

He nodded, you could tell that he was still thinking about it as he licked and chewed on his bottom lip. The beast lingering below the surface. 

“Tomorrow I will need my guard dog on his best behavior, we will be meeting with the Final Order High Command along with the First Order High Command. Seeing what our objectives are when it comes to defeating the Resistance.” You felt him shift underneath you. In his eyes, you could tell that it was his desire to please you, please his Empress by doing a good job. He was a guard dog ready for the order to attack. “Let us try to relax, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow, and we have already exerted ourselves.” 

He seemed to hum in agreement. You could feel the energy of the Force wrap around you, this time with a caress instead of a threat. It felt comforting knowing that all of him wanted you there with him at that moment. It didn’t take long for both of you to drift off into sleep while still entangled in each other, as one whole soul. 

Your dream was different tonight, much different from when you first met your protective match. You were now with him, happily, near your throne. You were wearing a beautiful gown, and he was in his armor, but he didn’t seem scary. You were walking hand in hand as you walked away from your throne, a lazy sort of walk that meant you had nowhere to be. You were taking the lead as you two walked, but his body seemed relaxed in your presence as you came to a beautiful garden. That was alive, and full of greenery and running water. A little bit of paradise, you two seemed to not be bothered by any of the staff or guards that seemed to be present, along the edges of the dream world. It was like you two were left alone to your own little happy bubble. A place where you two could be one, without the interference of others. 

As you came upon a large beautiful fountain in the middle of the garden space you and he sat along its edge. He removed his helmet without word or command. Losing his important piece of armor to look at you, his Empress. In the dream, you held hands and kissed sweetly, until you felt that familiar pressure behind your ear. 

You woke up to being attacked with feather-light kisses, “I thought Kylo Ren wasn’t sweet.” 

The kisses continued as he responded. “He isn’t but he does know how to worship his Empress. A loyal guard dog is loyal to his master.” His voice was laced with hunger, but you didn’t have time for that. 

You took his head in your hands bringing his face to yours, “Now, now there will be playtime later, but now you and I must get ready for battle.” This caused a different type of spark to appear in his eyes, one that thirsted for violence. One that would allow him to be not only your guard dog but your attack dog. A weapon of destruction that only obeyed you. 

You got up from the bed and headed into your dressing room, where you called upon your ladies-in-waiting. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, the woman before you was much like Kylo said, more sure of herself and taking no shit. Confident, powerful, and badass were how you felt. Unfortunately, it took Kylo breaking your mind for you to fully see and accept the positive sides of yourself. You were an Empress, soon to be an Empress of the entire galaxy if Kylo had any say. You were about to rule over the greatest dominion that anyone has ever seen and you were living for it. 

Adlez and Olivia-Rose entered and took an immediate evaluation of you. They weren’t allowed to take care of you when you got back, and that always seemed to worry them. They saw you several times a day, checked in on you personally, making sure you were still in one piece, and if not it was their job to put you back together. 

Adlez eyed you with suspicion, “Something seems different.” It was more of an observation than a question. She took hold of your hair.

You lifted your chin to her, a signal of authority, “It is, we now have an army to defeat the Resistance and the New Republic once and for all. We will bring order to the galaxy, and today I want my looks to reflect that.” You meant business today, whether she liked it or not. 

Olivia-Rose seemed intimidated by this new declaration. Both of you had never been in any sort of galactic war before, your planet Earth being kept out of it for millennia. 

“I am an Empress and I would like to look like one from here on out, nothing less, is that understood?” You were now taking command, usually, you let Adlez engage in the decision making, following her lead, but now you were going to be making all the choices, going with your gut feelings. 

They got you ready in record time, both of them stayed rather silent throughout the rest of the morning, Adlez giving you looks here and there. Breakfast was a quick affair once you sent off your staff to do various projects, only Mitaka was to be with you for the rest of the day. 

Kylo returned to your chambers only to escort you to your meeting, where you would be making final battle plans with your new combined High Command. You hadn’t decided on whether or not to keep the name First Order or to change it to the Final Order, both had their strengths and weaknesses in the name alone. 

You entered the room, all eyes on you faces you recognize and those you did not. You were in full command of an army, almost the entire galaxy, and the large room reflected it. The table felt as if you were in some sort of fantasy movie with its size, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that you were now about to send out a full-fledged assault against the enemy. But you watched as the officials in the Final Order seemed to want to disregard your position as their eyes followed Kylo as he stalked around the room. A guard dog at the ready, one who refused to sit. 

“Do we have a problem ladies and gentlemen? I know I am not the person you wished to become Emperor, rather Empress of the Final Order, of the Sith Eternal, but I am.” You spoke to those on your left, on your right was your trusty First Order High Command, along with Phasma and Pyre. 

An older gentleman spoke up, “No, we will follow you, Empress. We just have the belief that the Sith should carry on.” His eyes and emotions seemed guarded. But his eyes flickered back to the large black creature you called your husband. 

“Ah, I see. He was supposed to finish the ritual and become a Sith Lord was he not?” You glanced at your husband briefly, his body ready for a fight, before you turned back to the older general. 

A female general spoke up this time, “He was. Now we have no Sith leader.” This was something that seemed to affect all the Final Order High Command. 

You regarded this statement, “He could still turn into a Sith if he so chooses.” You wanted it to be his choice though, you knew very little about the ways of the Force and how it works and what the Jedi and Sith meant. You trusted that Kylo would make the right decision for himself. 

Before your lovely guard dog could respond, Pryde spoke up, “Or you could have a child that would be.” His words made your blood boil and caused ice to shoot up your veins. Now was your chance.

“Ah, now Pryde? What was the rule that was made about that particular thing, Hmm? Not to comment on mine and Ren’s love life? I think you have violated that, wouldn’t you agree, Lord Ren?” You called him Lord Ren as he was technically no longer the Supreme Leader of the First Order, you were the one in command, you were the Empress. 

Kylo’s lightsaber ignited in its glorious red fury, cackling and hissing at the opportunity that awaited it like it was a living being. Kylo drew close to the general whose eyes were wide with fear. Pryde wasn’t looking at you, where he should be, no, his eyes were focused on the deadly weapon in front of him. But Kylo looked to you, and you responded with a small, barely noticeable nod. And in an instant, Pryde was no longer a problem for you. 

You could see Kylo shaking with excitement. This was the first time you had commanded him to use his weapon for you, for him to be your proper attack guard dog. You could feel the waves of pleasure through the static of the Force that he seemed to be generating around you, encapsulating you in a protective bubble. No longer were there dangerous mindless tendrils, now it was his pure energy and emotion as it surrounded you, making you aware of how he was feeling. You could feel a mix of pride, arousal, and hunger for power in his Force energy. 

“Now that the trash is taken out shall we move on to our next tactic? I would like to capture as much of the Resistance as possible.” You felt smug, and you could see that this pleased the Sith Eternal, to watch your attack dog slay someone so easily. It seemed like a treat for them.    
  
One of the Final Order generals asked, “May I ask why Empress?” You knew among the most dedicated in most military regimes that being captured was the worst position someone could be in. There was honor in dying for your cause, but living and giving secrets made you the worst enemy possible. 

You stared down your nose at him. Your body glowed with confidence. “I have my reasoning. I would like to see many of their leaders face to face before they end up meeting my husband’s blade. Is that too difficult general?” 

You could see the nervousness in his face, he did not want to meet the fiery blade himself. “No, Empress it is not. We shall capture the leaders of the Resistance and kill the rest?”

You were pleased with his weakness of will against you, his desire to please.“Yes, that should be all. The new Chancellor Armitage Hux will go over the final battle plans with you all. I must prepare my best weapon.” 

Hux regarded your statement with some minor glee on his face, you could tell he was holding it in. You just gave him a huge promotion. Something that after you conquer the galaxy, you could properly celebrate. But for now, you were off to war. 

Kylo followed you out into the empty side hallway. No one wanted to stick around for very long while he wore his helmet and was now representing his title of Jedi Killer. 

You ordered, “Helmet off.” He obliged, and it fell carelessly to the floor, making a loud thud sound that both of you ignored. You just gazed into his dark eyes that were hungry and waiting for you to give your orders.

“I will have two of the knights with me, unfortunately, Phasma and Pyre will be sent out along with the rest of the forces, but I will remain on this side of the galaxy safe, and out of harm's way.” Your hand stroked down the front of his chest, you could feel the tension that was building within him, he wanted to fight, but he also wanted to stay behind and protect. “You will do well, I will be safe. I need you to fight for me, I need my big scary attack dog on the front lines, slicing through our enemies. Do you think you can do that? Because when you return if you are successful I will have a treat for you.” 

His breathing was deep and quick, holding back his lust for you at that moment, knowing that you needed him to be an attack dog in this moment, not your lover. All he could do was nod again, words lost to the mind of the beast. But he couldn’t help himself from placing a hand on your hip and kissing you quickly, holding back all of his need for you, for just one kiss. 

You understood that you needed him to move quickly, “Go now, prepare to leave with the others. I want you personally to bring me the leaders of the Resistance. I want them to know fear, I want them to believe that I will show them mercy. I want them to have hope in that I will release them, let them go, but you and I both know that won’t happen. I want to crush all hopes of future rebellion from this galaxy.” 

Kylo nodded quickly and swooped down to grab his helmet, but before he placed it back on his head he kissed you, “I will not fail you.” And just like that, he was down the hall with his black cape swooshing around him, like some sort of demon hell-bent on bringing destruction to the galaxy. Which wasn’t far off of what he would be doing. This was the official start and end of the war. 


	78. The End of a War

You walked back into the meeting, without your faithful guard dog. “Now where will we be sending everyone off to,” you ask your newly appointed Chancellor Hux. 

“We have some reason to believe there is a Resistance base in the Outer Rim, on this end of the galaxy somewhere in K-5/6 and L-5/6 sectors. We will be sending heavy reinforcements to that region.” Hux seemed to be confident in the intelligence that you were given. 

You considered the tactile plan, “I see and what do we think we will be met with?” You weren’t a military mind, but you needed to be sure that they knew what they were doing, they had failed before and failure wasn’t an option now. 

Another First Order general spoke up, “Not much, we have already crippled much of their army, with the destruction of their last base and the several New Republic planets. Mostly this will be to finish them off and to now establish authority across the galaxy.” That’s exactly what you wanted to hear, taking control of the galaxy. Soon it would all be yours.

“So are a portion of the troops going to do that? While others face off in battle?” You knew sending all your fleet to one area would not be a wise decision. The Empire had chosen to do something similar in the past, and you weren’t going to be so stupid. 

“Yes, I believe that is the best tactic. You have a phrase from your home planet saying ‘not to put all of your eggs in one basket’ and so by making sure we have a proper disbursement of ships across the galaxy we will maintain our authority.” Hux was an expert at trying to bring things to your understanding. He knew you had little background in any of this, and that you trusted him to make the right decisions. It is why he earned his promotion. 

You nodded to him, “Good, Lord Ren will join the forces heading to the base, he has an important mission from me, one that he should not be distracted from.” You needed your husband to complete his mission, but more importantly, you needed him to come back in one piece. You wanted there to be no one in his way. 

Hux seemed to understand this. “Of course, Empress. We will make sure he sees his task through without any obstacles.” 

You left the meeting, Kylo was off fighting for you on some planet someplace in the galaxy. Hux had told you where but you really didn’t care. All you needed to know was that he was ok and that he was taking care of what you sent him for. It had been three days before you heard they were back. You had been doing various things, making sure the Final Order and First Order’s union was going smoothly. One of your staff came and told you that Kylo had requested in some of the interrogation rooms. 

Walking down the hall with Ap’lek and Vicrul by your side, you saw officers and 'troopers dodging out of the way. All of them giving you proper salutes and acknowledgments to you as Empress. You made your way down to the interrogation rooms, pausing in front of the doors of the large one. Entering you saw an interesting sight, four people chained to the floor, the other Knights of Ren along the back wall, Kylo pacing in front of the prisoners, and Hux and Phasma talking in an opposite corner. It looked like a real party. Vicrul and Ap’lek joined their brothers in arms along the back wall. Doing the usual silent communication thing they did. 

You looked at Hux and then Kylo before saying, “What do we have here?” You then looked at the four prisoners, who looked pretty worse for wear. 

Hux spoke first, you could tell Kylo was still in beast mode as his Force energy wrapped around you protectively. “These are the last known leaders of the Resistance, unfortunately, we lost a few in battle at no fault to anyone.” The man on the left seemed the most rabid of them all, sneering at Hux. 

“Why don’t you tell me who our guests are?” You kept your tone rather light, knowing what was to inevitably come. 

The man on the left spat up at Hux, who was closest to him. “Guests? So that’s who we are now?” You could hear the venom dripping from his voice. 

Hux looked rather unimpressed at the man who was chained down by his feet. “Poe Dameron General of the Resistance, notorious pilot who has killed millions in this war. He is responsible for blowing up Star Killer Base.” The brunette man glared at him before looking at you, you could see Kylo’s body shift towards him as a sign that he should watch his actions. 

You point to the next chained prisoner. 

“And him?” He seemed much bulkier than the pilot next to him. 

“FN-2187,” responded Phasma first. 

“My name is Finn,” spat the man.

Hux continued with his debriefing, “FN-2187 is a General of the Resistance. A defective stormtrooper traitor who has killed his own brothers and sisters in battle. He is partially responsible for the destruction of Star Killer Base.” 

“And her?” You pointed to the next prisoner. 

“Rose Tico, chief engineer of the Resistance. She and her family fought against the First Order when we annexed her homeworld, and she was crucial to the evacuation of the old resistance base.” Hux seemed rather displeased in particular with her. 

“And what about them?” You pointed to the last prisoner. 

“Noor Abdallah, a chief information officer of the Resistance. They have foiled many of our attacks by intercepting communications between ships, they helped with the destruction of Star Killer Base.” So this was Carter’s match? A Resistance fight, someone Carter had been dreaming about for years. Someone who now seemed to waste their life before they ever got a chance to meet their other half. 

You stepped back for a moment watching your husband pace in front of them. They seemed to regard him as a higher status than you. Something he was not. 

FN-2187 pleaded to him, “Rey wouldn’t have wanted this.” Rose seemed to agree. 

“You think I cared for the Scavenger? I killed her.” So they thought she could be a bargaining chip to reason with the beast? She held no candle to you, you were the Empress, and she was a dead sand rat. You were his match, and she was nothing. 

Poe now seemed to reason with him, “Leia wouldn’t have wanted you to do this.”

“And what do you know of my mother? She sacrificed herself to save me and her. You know nothing.” Bringing up his mother was a terrible decision on his part. What good did this pilot think he was doing? Did he really think he knew his mother better than he did? Ignorant and cocky is a dead man’s wish. 

You were sick and tired of the prisoners ignoring your presence. “So these are some of the people who have outsmarted the First Order for so long?”   
  


Hux responded in kind, “Dameron’s a damn good pilot and FN-2187 was trained as one of our own and was once very promising.” It was noted to you that he did not speak of the others at this point, you wonder just how many squabbles the two men had won against the First Order before you arrived. 

You kept your voice aloof, “I see. It’s a shame they choose the wrong outcome in life don’t you think? Working for the Resistance, harboring chaos, defying me? What do you think my love?” 

This caught Kylo’s attention, you could see he was shaking with anticipation and power. He wanted blood and now you would let him have it. 

“Kill the pilot, the traitor, and the girl. As for Noor, send them to reconditioning, and then to Earth, there is someone there that doesn’t deserve to lose them just yet. Maybe they will reconsider unwise life decisions from now on.” You saved their life for your former friend Carter. You weren’t all heartless, but you knew whoever sided with the Resistance would still call you that. When your back was turned to head out of the room, you heard the crackle of Kylo’s lightsaber and the sound of bodies hitting the floor, you didn’t stick around to see the aftermath, rather you chose to go back to your quarters to prepare the treat you had promised him. 

When you arrived you headed immediately to the bedroom where you pulled it out of a closet and laid it on the bed. While he was away, you had asked Vicrul and Ap’lek to fetch it from wherever he had chosen to hide it. It wasn’t a toy for you, but for him. Something to tame the beast for a short time. Something clad in tight black leather that the knights seemed to be fond of. You don’t know if Adlez had sparked the idea within them or if it was something they already enjoyed that she was the perfect outlet to share it with. But the present came with a little accessory, a black riding crop, something to instill obedience within the beast. 

You had a newfound confidence that paired nicely with your new ego, your new self. You heard the door to your chambers open and the rush of booted footsteps. He was eager to see where you were, to receive his treat. He entered the bedroom with his helmet on, something you hadn’t considered before, but something to possibly explore at a later time. With the crop in your hand, you ordered, “Strip.” 

The helmet came off first with a thud to the floor, his eyes fixated on the instrument in your hand. You could feel his desire pooling around you with the Force, his protection bubble revealing his underlying moods and wants. You watched his eyes grow dark as he obeyed your command, his breathing deepening and his arousal evident. You could tell that the beast was underneath the surface. Once he obeyed your command, you made a simple order again, “Kneel.”

He was already half-hard and growing more erect by the second. You stepped closer to him, his eyes followed you wildly, like a predator watching its prey. You leaned down next to his ear and said, “Now, I believe I promised you a treat for all your hard work. Your knights were so kind as to deliver me our wedding present. I think it’s high time we use it don’t you think? I think my beast deserves it.” You watched his body ripple with pleasure, trying to contain himself, trying to obey your orders. 

You grabbed the toy off the bed, “Lean forward.” If it was anyone else, you would have had them lean against the bed for support, but he was just that, a beast. His strength could hold him for however long you needed him in a certain position, his monstrous strength and resilience would make sure of that. The black leather hugged his arms beautifully as you strapped him in and tied him up, the binder allowing you to have full control of the situation at hand. He still had the Force of course, but he seemed less inclined to use it now. Not wanting to disobey you. He was leaning into your touch, desperate for your warmth. 

You took one look at him all tied up and were satisfied. “On the bed, on your knees, back to the headboard.” The beast was going to get some training today before you let him free. He scrambled to obey, and he was a sight to behold. He was now fully erect but frustrated at the lack of friction. He moved into the spot you wanted him in. Over the last few days, you put in a simple work order, you needed a few anchors put in the wall. One on each side of the bed and one in the middle for this exact purpose. You grabbed a sturdy chain and hooked it to the anchor and then to the ring in the binder. This would not hold him if he chose to go completely feral, but if he obeyed you, it would serve its purpose. Now your guard dog was chained up, and you were just about ready to let the beast loose. 

He tested the chain, as you slowly and teasingly stripped in front of him. The beast wanted to touch you, to take you, but right now you were too far away for that to happen. “Does the beast want a taste?” This earned a snarl in reply. His eyes were wild, and his body was vibrating. You moved in closer. You brought the riding crop against his cheek, the only form of contact between you two at the moment. He wasn’t pleased as he bit the end of it, “Now, now, only good little attack dogs get their treats.” He let go of the crop which you then lightly whacked against his cock, earning a yelp and a thrust of his hips. But he didn’t seem to dislike it as you watched his lower ab muscles clench and his cock twitch. He looked like a wild chained up animal. 

You moved in closer, but just out of reach, even though his hands were behind his back you wanted there to be distance yet. “Now are you going to be a good little guard dog and obey me or will you need to be punished some more?” The snarl you received seemed to encourage you to keep punishing him. You randomly whacked him in the abs, ass, thighs, face, and cock for a bit. You could see the pleasure rippling through his body, and the occasional moans of pleasure supported that. You rubbed the head of his cock with the tip of the crop, spreading the pre-cum around. After a few more hits to the dick, he came with a force. His seed covering both of your chests and stomachs. You then wrapped your arms around him and ordered him to clean you up. 

The pleasure you received from giving his punishment and his attention and sucking of your breasts, got you close to the edge. You were enjoying everything as much as he did as you leaned back away from him and finished yourself off. On display for him, with your fingers buried in your own cunt. You could hear the chain creak as he pulled against it, wanting so desperately to touch you. But you came too fast to allow that. Once you caught your breath you stared up at him. He was struggling against the hold, desperate for you. You got up and brought your fingers to his lips, allowing him to clean them off before you ordered him to move back on the bed. “Clean me up.” You watched as he eagerly obeyed. His tongue, lips, nose, and teeth buried into your folds cleaning up your fresh juices. The beast loved to nip at the tender flesh, whereas Kylo just kissed and sucked, both had their advantages, but right now it was the beast’s turn. 

Once you were confident that you were cleaned up, and that he was just eating you out now you ordered him to stop. Which seemed like it was difficult for him to obey but he did reluctantly. “Stay put.” You got up and moved behind him, propping yourself up on pillows. “Turn around.” He looked wild as he followed orders. The beast was waiting. You spread your legs open for him. His re-hardened cock twitched at the sight, you watched him breathe in and out jaggedly, attempting to keep what little control he had. 

You swallowed back your own desire as you commanded, “I want your cock.” That seemed to flip the switch. Even though his arms were chained up behind him, the power of his hips was enough to cause you to scream his name. He thrust deep and hard into you, the beast giving his full power as he relentlessly pounded into you. The grunts, groans, moans, and growls filled the air as the sound of skin slapping filled the room. He bit and sucked at any flesh he could get, marking you up. It didn’t take long for both of your orgasms to crash together. He let out some sort of howl as he did, his name being screamed on your lips. For a few minutes, the beast seemed satisfied. 

You struggled to get up, now wanting to unrestrain him so you would at least have one round with him free. He snarled at you as you tried to get up, thinking you were leaving him there. “No, I want to let the good guard dog go. So he can have some freedom.” Your fingers trembled as you removed the straps and undid the ties. You couldn’t really feel your lower body anymore, but you could feel the empty sensation of him not being inside of you. Once he was free it took only a few seconds for him to grab you and slam you back down on the bed. His feral side took over as he aggressively took you again. This time his thrusts hand more purchase as he was able to hold on to you, and the headboard. His hands occasionally groped your breast but they mostly were buried into the meat of your ass. 

He filled you up completely, taking no pause as to fuck you deep and hard. The beast is using his full power now. You had promised him a treat and now your tight cunt was delivering it to him. If someone were to walk in on you now, they would probably think a wild animal was fucking you, but it was him. Holding you down, taking you as his own prize. Your breasts are barely able to bounce properly to meet the speed of his thrusts. All you could do was moan like a desperate whore at his deep hard pounding. He locked on to your g-spot and didn’t give up even after you orgasmed. He was looking for two for one as he continued his unrelenting pace. Which he was granted as you finally came together, being filled with his fire you felt completed. 

He collapsed on top of you, seeming to hog all of your personal space, completely wrapping around you. It felt protective and possessive as he seemed to use the last of his energy to cover you in kisses. You fed your beast with your own pleasure. He was sated for now. You were now the Empress to the galaxy, and he won that for you. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to The_Torturer_Writes for helping me out with a portion of this chapter. Go check out her work if you like kinky things.


	79. It Will Be Done

You woke feeling worn out and sore. Usually, sleep was meant to rejuvenate but after last night’s eventful escapade, only a soak in bacta would bring you back to full health. But you reveled in the feeling of being sore, reveled in the memories of last night’s lovemaking. You weren’t always fond of the beast, especially when he reared his ugly head in defiance of your best wishes, but you had to admit that he was a powerful lover in bed. 

You stretched as best as you could but a heavy arm kept you weighed down, confined to the bed and his chest. For the first time, you were awake before he was. It made you ponder over if he had been able to sleep at all since he left you nights ago. When he was asleep, he looked like a calm resting angel. His lashes long, his beauty marks dark, his lips a beautiful and plush rosy pink, his hair like dark waves encapsulating his face. Yes, he looked like an angel, but underneath it all, he was a demon. But one that was your guardian. Some people had guardian angels, you had a guardian demon. 

You calmly played with his hair and caressed his cheek, not wanting to disturb his sleeping peace. You watched his slow breaths as a mediation to your morning. You then put your head back down on his chest to listen to his heartbeat, you had no idea how long you were like that before you could feel him stir. You watched as his eyes fluttered open and as he blinked to focus all with a smile on your face. He glanced down at you, meeting your loving gaze. His voice was groggy as he said, “Good morning.” He then brought a hand up to his face to rub at his tired eyes. 

He was a sight to behold. “You know this is the first time I have woken up before you,” you teased. It felt more intimate, more tender this way, something your relationship tended to lack. 

You could hear a small huff of amusement before he replied, “Well last night was very exhausting.” Scenes played back in your head at the memory of it all, you could feel the hollow ache between your legs. 

You drew lazy circles around the beauty marks on his chest, “It was, but how much sleep did you get while you were away?” You were concerned. It wasn’t like him to need tons of sleep, he seemed to run on just a few hours in peak condition. 

He looked away from you, to the ceiling avoiding your gaze, “I didn’t.” He knew you wouldn’t be happy with that admittance but he was at least being honest with you. You reached up to gingerly grab his face and pull it to meet yours. You kissed him sweetly. 

You shook your head at him. “You should probably join me for a bacta bath then.” You knew you needed one, especially when he brought his hand down to lazily tease your bruised heat. Causing you to hiss at the sensation. 

“But I am not hurt,” he mused. You could feel his morning wood against your leg, something that you wouldn’t really be able to do much with unless you had the bacta bath. 

You shook your head again, “I know but it could rejuvenate you. And who knows I might be up for a round in the tub.” This got his attention as he moved to get off the bed and then pulling you to his chest to carry you into the bathroom. You watched him struggle for a few minutes to fill the tub with the bacta gel. For a moment you wondered if you should just call Adlez and Olivia-Rose to come to do it for you, but he was huffing telling you it was fine. 

Once the tub was filled he lowered both of you into the weird slimy substance. It felt as if you were sitting in a tub full of lube and the lube was warm. Kylo took the bath as an opportunity to both massage and grope you. Filling you with a different type of pleasure as you could feel the strain of last night being swept away. You could also feel his erection against you as he did so, pressing into the meat of your ass. You returned the favor to his strong broad back, but he seemed much more interested in getting his hands back on you versus receiving tenderness himself. Many, many kisses were exchanged, but you didn’t have a round in the bath, instead, you both took a shower together. 

He happily lifted you up against the wall to allow himself to enter your renewed cunt. “You were made so perfectly to take me,” he was able to verbalize while thrusting into you. If there wasn’t steam from the shower itself you were very sure that the glass would have fogged up, anyway. But he was right, your pussy fit him perfectly, taking in every inch of man that he was. 

Eventually, you both climaxed with your orgasms colliding together. And then you cleaned each other off, Kylo taking great care of your body and massaging your scalp. You honestly wished that no one else would ever touch you ever again, every single one of your atoms rejoiced in his touch. But you had to get out of the shower and move on with your day. 

  
He took care in drying you off being very tender with you. Which made you pose the question, “Do you dislike it when I call you my guard dog?”

His face scrunched up in confusion at your question. “Why would I?” His hands and towel roaming your body. 

You shuffled your feet looking down away from his gaze, “Because I am calling you a beast, a monster to your face.”

He took your face in his hands and brought it up to meet his lips, “I am a monster, but I take pride in knowing that I am your guard dog. I am only kind to one person, and that is you,” 

That didn’t really answer the question you had for him. “I know, but do you want to be kind to me? Or do you want to be a beast?” In many ways, you didn’t want him to abuse you every day and night, but your soul would tear itself apart if you weren’t with him. 

He analyzed your face, gauging your reaction. “Do you want me to be a beast? Because I have no problem in doing so, but I do think a guard dog tends to honor its master or the thing that it’s guarding as the one thing that isn’t a threat.” His eyes were dark looking into your soul. He was trying to tell you in a roundabout way that you were the only thing he really cared about. The only thing he cherished. In many ways, he never seemed to do so unless you were in private moments like this, but you understood that this was Kylo, that it was just how he was as a person. 

You told him your own personal truth, “I just want you to be you. You have spent so long being someone else, hiding from the world, hiding from me. That I don’t want you to think that I need you to treat me like a doll.” If he wanted to be the beast all the time you would figure out some way to accept it, this new version of you was made just for Kylo, and only him. 

He seemed to contemplate your words for a few moments before responding, “I enjoy being a ‘beast’ when you send me out on missions, or when you need me to protect you directly. I also enjoy being a beast in bed, you were built to hand all that I can give you, for that reason. But I also enjoy cherishing my Empress. I have watched too many matches fail to know that I shouldn’t only handle you one way.” He always had something insightful hidden up his sleeve to tell you. Too many people thought he was unthinking, but in many ways he was wise. 

His words sink into your soul. Giving you this happy feeling, you really were the pretty girl who ‘tamed’ the  _ beast. _ But not in the sense that he would be tamed for others but only tamed for  _ you  _ when you wanted it if you wanted it. All you could answer that with was a kiss, you needed to get ready for the day. Big plans were ahead, and you didn’t want to delay them. 

You grabbed a robe and walked into your dressing room and called upon your ladies-in-waiting. You were in a very good mood as you sat waiting for them at your vanity. Contemplating his words, and how he saw you and then how you saw yourself. 

You watched them both come in, Adlez noticing your pleasant demeanor first, “You seem to be in a good mood.” You watched as she analyzed your condition, looking for any loose threads that she would need to repair in you, not what you were wearing. She was an expert seamstress when it came to the garment of your condition. 

You smiled at her, “I am, Lord Ren is back.” You felt the warmth from earlier return to your belly as mini memories flashed in your mind, both from last night and this morning. 

She gave you a teasing look, “And in your bed, I imagine it was quite the reunion.” You could tell it was just her expert keen eyes that found one of the few remaining love marks on your neck, and you knew that she knew that you had put in the work order and had ordered the knights to fetch your wedding present. 

You turned to look back at her as she stood behind you starting to prepare your hair for the day. “It was. But then again it isn’t any of your business.” You were teasing her of course, but then again you didn’t really enjoy people commenting on your love life. He was yours alone, it wasn’t normal for others to pry into normal people’s relationships, so why would yours be any different? 

She could sense she was walking a fine line as she continued to finish your hair. Olivia-Rose took this as an opportunity to try to break the subtle tension, “Lord Ren? Is he no longer the Supreme Leader? Or are you just calling him that?” Her quiet voice told you that she wasn’t trying to cross any boundaries. 

You nodded, “Yes, he isn’t. I am officially Empress of the galaxy. And he has agreed to hand over the reins to me. He much prefers to be in a position of battle and destruction versus a position of ruling and decision making.” You remembered that you would be returning to your throne today. 

Adlez’s eyes flickered to yours, “ _ Empress _ Empress? So you have control over everything and you are comfortable with it?” She knew something was off, she could sense it like a bloodhound. You still had no idea how you acted when you weren’t in control for those few weeks, but you didn’t know how much they noticed. 

“Yes, I am. There have been many changes over the last few weeks, some that I haven’t enjoyed, but necessary nonetheless. I am ruling over the galaxy, as is my right.” You were confident in your words and explanations. 

She caught on, “Changes? Does it have anything to do with how strange you’ve been acting?” She didn’t know what exactly was off, but she just knew something was. You weren’t going to give her the whole story.

You admired your looks in the mirror before meeting her eyes. “Yes. I have now changed as my husband did before me. My weak half is gone and now all that remains is the strong Empress Ren.” You knew that she was supposed to help you, supposed to help you build your confidence but you doubted this is exactly what she wanted. 

She spoke her words carefully, “I see, and I suppose those changes are between you and him?” She knew some things she would never be told, she had her secrets, and you had yours. 

“Correct.” That ended the conversation right there, both of them knowing that you would never share  _ everything  _ with them. Some things needed to be kept secret, and this was another one about your relationship with your husband that you preferred others weren’t privy to. 

Once dressed to a T and looking like a  [ proper Empress, ](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/fc/48/d0/fc48d0df06d1eecab90f0ade287bc0eb--designer-gowns-designer-wear.jpg) you enjoyed a quick breakfast before taking a shuttle back down to Exegol. You had avoided returning to the planet without your faithful guard dog. You entered the hexagon once more and were lowered down into the deep chamber below. Before when you were here it was dark and lightning flashed all around, now it was just dark. You felt as if you were entering an old abandoned lion’s den. Kylo stood next to you, the knights surrounded you, as did Phasma, Pyre, Hux, and your staff. 

You all stepped off together once the platform had reached the bottom. You walked along the long imposing hallway to the main chamber. Now you were really taking in all the large statues around you. Ancient Sith Lords. This place used to be a Sith temple, but now only the Sith Eternal still worshiped here. In many ways, the statues seemed to haunt you, but they also felt protective. In the main chamber, you examined the colosseum that the Sith Eternal used when you were crowned Empress. It all seemed rather empty at the moment. The rows of seats are just empty stone. The room seemed like a void but somehow surrounded by the people you trust it seemed homier. 

Your group slowed as you all approached the throne. You parted your guard as you floated to it. This time when you sat down you could feel the power that it represented, the power your title held. You were the Empress of the entire galaxy now, there was no hiding, no returning to life before all this. No going back. 

Kylo approached you, his helmet discarded to the side as he kneeled before you. You watched as the others followed in his lead. But you beckoned him closer with your finger, not stopping until his head was resting in your lap. You allowed the others to rise, and you dismissed them for a few moments, wanting to be alone with him in this exact moment. The chamber felt both empty and full. The lack of anyone else causes it to feel barren, but his presence made it feel as if the room was filled to the brim. 

You slowly petted his hair, and he closed his eyes, “You know, I’ve had a dream like this. A few actually. Where I am the Empress sitting here on my throne, and you are my guard dog, chained up waiting for my order. This is the same except there is no chain.”

His voice was soft as if he wanted no one else to hear it but you, “I don’t need a chain. I have bound myself to you here,” he pointed to his wedding ring, “and here.” He then pointed to your name on his wrist. This caused your heart to flutter. 

He was right, there was no need to chain him up like that. He was bound to you for eternity. Neither of you wants to give the other up. You leaned down to kiss him. “I suppose you are right.”    
  
He smiled, and a soft chuckle was his reply. He seemed very content where he was, kneeling before you with his head on your lap. A sign of vulnerability, of loyalty, of trust with you. You guided him to stand, where he pulled you up against his chest. Where he gave you one of his famous deep kisses, something your very being screamed for. You were his, and only his. 

It took you a few moments to remember that you had come down to the surface of this planet to plan, to make it the new seat to your Empire. You and he walked into the adjoining chamber where everyone was waiting. You made the announcement, “This is where the capital of our Empire will be. We will use this temple and transform it into a palace befitting the greatest Empire in history.” You walked passed all of them to a small courtyard, “And this is where I would like to start a garden, my Eden. The new Hanging Gardens of Babylon.” 

Kylo walked up behind you, wrapping himself around you lovingly and protectively. “And so shall whatever the Empress decrees it will be done.” And it felt like time froze, two souls combining to be one, two broken people finally mending each other, so none shall ever split them apart again.

  
  



	80. Epilogue

You woke up alone, one of your least favorite things to do, right up there with presenting at public executions and planetary political banquets. You got up and headed to your dressing room, where you were attended by your two ladies-in-waiting. One heavily pregnant with her second child, and the other coming gracefully out of middle age. These were the two women who prepared you for war every single day, the ones who put you back together when you needed it. Today war would end, at least temporarily. 

They dressed you and prepared you for the day. You took your breakfast peacefully out on the balcony like you did every morning. The planet had changed; it was no longer the dark dreary thing that you first saw, now it was thriving with life. A beautiful utopia, all built to please you as Empress and as a capital to build your Empire. It was now a planet that could see its sun, you watched as ships buzzed around in the atmosphere, your people were alive and thriving. 

But you watched as one particular ship landed down beneath the palace, one that always caught your attention. A unique TIE Silencer. You were off to the palace entrance, servants and officers dodging out of your way as you stormed to the platform. You were lowered down to the surface of the planet, guarded by your trusty captain in silver armor, and her golden comrade. Both very used to keeping up with your quick paces and split-second decisions. You exited the palace with them at your heels; they knew your destination and were unconcerned about your immediate safety as a result. 

You rushed to the ship, its pilot not yet departing it. You waited as patiently as you could as you watched the pilot disembark from the intimidating craft. His black uniform blending in with the ship itself. Both of which were now out of place in your bright planet. But you felt every molecule in you rejoice as your eyes made contact with the chrome encompassed visor. The pilot offered you their hand which you took, happily, the soft leather warm against your bare palm. You lead the pilot silently into the palace, your gilded guards leaving you. You waited patiently for the platform to lower you down into the big chamber. Guiding the pilot passed the large statues, and passed the throne and side chamber, into the little piece of hidden paradise within the palace. 

Servants and staff dissipated when you entered, leaving you alone as you brought the pilot to the fountain in the middle, where you both sat down along the fountain’s edge. You leaned in and kissed the mouthpiece of his helmet before ordering it off. You were met with the beautiful eyes of your husband. You leaned in for another kiss, this time he held you against him. After a few moments of sweet bliss, and the only sounds to be heard were running water and of the birds in the garden, you spoke up. 

“How was your mission?” You pushed back a lock of hair from his face. He looked as if he hasn’t aged a day since you first met him. 

He gave you a peck on the lips before responding, “Good, the revolution of Jakku has been squashed. The leader executed, and all seems to be right in the galaxy once more.” He held you in his arms like a damsel in distress, like he was your personal savior, which wasn’t far off from the truth. 

You smiled up at him. “And your home just in time for our anniversary tomorrow.” One of your hands braced itself against his broad chest, feeling the ribbing of his armor underneath it. A familiar texture that your body deemed as safe. 

He kissed your forehead as you leaned against his chest, “Five years of marriage.” His hand rubbing circles into your back. 

You made a small noise of contentment, “Five years of forever.” You could feel his Force energy surrounding you with a happy feeling, one that you now recognized as his version of love. Your husband was a complicated man, one you were the only person to understand, your match. 

He chuckled at you scooting to get closer to him; he picked you up and placed you in his lap, his chin resting on the top of your head, just avoiding your Empress Crown. “Do you have anything special planned for us,” he asked. He knew you did, but he asked anyway. 

You gently removed your head from out from under his, avoiding him being hit with the points of the crown. You looked up at him, with a face, “Of course I do, but do you have anything planned mister?” You crossed your arms over your chest. 

He leaned in real close to your ear, “Of course I do, it is my number one priority, as guard dog to the Empress, to keep her happy.” His lips then caressed your cheek as they made their way to yours. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, allowing the kiss to deepen. It has been days since you last saw him, and you were worried about the small revolution taking too long and that he would miss your anniversary. You could stand strong without him, but everything was much easier when he was by your side. When the kiss broke, Kylo was the first to speak. 

He teased, “So are we going to have a proper reunion, or are you going to make me wait until tomorrow?” His hands trailing down your sides before coming to rest and squeezing your ass. 

After all these years your body still responded to his advancements with blush and squeals. Essentially a hormonal inexperienced teenager, but you two had been used to each other so much that it wasn’t the case. You could feel the heat growing between your legs. 

You buried your face into his neck trying to hide your already evident blush, “A proper reunion.” 

And that’s all he needed to carry you off out of the garden, down the hall, up a flight of stairs, down another hall, before dumping you onto your large bed. Causing a squeak from you before he climbed up over top of you. A proper reunion indeed. 

You were two halves of the same soul, combined, mended together to become one. You saved him and he saved you, together you held the galaxy in your hands. Together all the stars were yours to have, all the stars in the galaxy were yours to share together. Both of your dreams came true, but together they were one dream, one soul, one eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for joining me on this journey, but the time is here my friends, the story must end. I want to thank every single one of you for leaving kind comments and kudos. It really does mean a lot to me that so many people like my story. I am glad to have shared a part of myself with you all. I hope you are well and happy my friends.


End file.
